


Family Confidential 3: The Boy Ultimatum

by Laragh



Series: Confidential!Verse [6]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Don't Let It Put You Off, F/F, Family, Fostering/Adoption, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Just Sweet Lady Kisses, Or Slushees, There's No Singing, Very Mini Glee Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:22:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 108,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24679951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laragh/pseuds/Laragh
Summary: What do you do when you think your family is complete but the universe tells you otherwise?(Sequel to Family Confidential Episode II)
Relationships: Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg
Series: Confidential!Verse [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1237535
Comments: 36
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

So much meat.  
  
  
Tara stared down at her pot of chili and marveled at how much meat swam about it and how her family would just devour it in seconds.  
  
  
She took a break from stirring, a sport at which she could become an Olympian at by now when she felt arms envelop her from behind.  
  
  
The arms were big enough to fold over themselves at Tara’s middle and the chin that rested above her head spoke of a large presence towering behind her.  
  
  
Tara leaned back into it for the briefest of moments, then began rotating her wooden spoon through the contents of her pot once again.  
  
  
“I gave you 20 dollars yesterday.”  
  
  
JJ tightened his hold around Tara’s waist.  
  
  
“Can’t a boy just hug his mom on a rainy Friday afternoon for no reason?”  
  
  
“He can,” Tara replied in a reasoned tone, “But it usually means he wants money.”  
  
  
JJ ducked out of the embrace and leaned back against the kitchen counter.  
  
  
“I’m out of gas.”  
  
  
“You have a bike,” Tara countered.  
  
  
JJ pouted.  
  
  
“It’s raining,” he said in a soft, pleading voice, “Plllleeeeaaaasssseeee, Mom?!”  
  
  
Tara made a show of sighing and pushed away from the burner so she could take her wallet out from her purse. JJ looked at it distastefully.  
  
  
“Can’t you Venmo it?”  
  
  
Tara held up a $20 bill and waved it about.  
  
  
“Do you want the money or not?”  
  
  
JJ took the money quickly and Tara patted her finger against her cheek, where JJ dutifully pressed a kiss.  
  
  
“Thanks, Mom.”  
  
  
“Be home for dinner!” Tara called as he strode out of the kitchen in three steps on his long legs.  
  
  
In the doorway on the way out, JJ skid past Willow and straight over to his pride and joy – his white VW Golf.  
  
  
“Hi, Momma! Bye, Momma!”  
  
  
Willow saw the money flapping in his pocket and frowned. She walked into the quiet house, left her bag at the coat rack, and approached the kitchen.  
  
  
“I told him this morning I wouldn’t give him any more money.”  
  
  
“Hello to you too, dear wife,” Tara replied and smiled over her shoulder, “He’s out of gas.”  
  
  
“He has a bike,” Willow said pointedly.  
  
  
Tara smirked.  
  
  
“It’s raining,” she countered.  
  
  
Willow ducked her head to hide an answering smile and came up to Tara; embracing her like JJ had moments before, though the only place Willow’s chin could rest was Tara’s shoulder.  
  
  
“I’m glad you’re such a soft touch. It makes it easier for me to pretend to be a hard ass.”  
  
  
“‘Pretend’,” Tara scoffed.  
  
  
Willow scoffed back.  
  
  
“Because I don’t hand them cash like I’m a walking ATM.”  
  
  
“Because you’ve internalized the idea that giving your children money is inherently an act of neglect because that’s what your parents did,” Tara replied dryly.  
  
  
“Ooh, we’re getting personal,” Willow said, pretending to be wounded.  
  
  
Tara chuckled, low.  
  
  
“Nothing we haven’t discussed in therapy.”  
  
  
Willow smiled and ever-so-gently nuzzled her nose below Tara’s ear.  
  
  
“May I amend?”  
  
  
“You may,” Tara offered graciously.  
  
  
Willow kissed Tara’s neck.  
  
  
“I’m glad you’re such a soft touch because you are everything I want in a mother to my children.”  
  
  
Tara ran her fingers over Willow’s hands sitting over her bellybutton. After a moment, Tara felt another kiss on her neck, then Willow’s arms dropped and she went over to the refrigerator.  
  
  
“How was work?” Tara asked as she lifted some sauce out on the spoon, which she offered Willow.  
  
  
“Yum,” Willow replied as she licked it off, “I tracked a suspect so hard that my fingers have blisters.”  
  
  
She wiggled her fingertips sadly.  
  
  
“I’ll kiss them better,” Tara offered sweetly and gave ten quick kisses to each wiggling finger pad, “Did you catch him?”  
  
  
“And all of his insider trading shenanigans,” Willow replied with a tired smile, “Where are the girls?”  
  
  
Tara pointed one finger toward the living room.  
  
  
“Robyn says she’s doing her homework but is really doodling in her math book and the twins are at gymnastics…speaking of, I should leave to collect them. They won’t be impressed if they get wet while waiting around for me.”  
  
  
She washed her hands quickly at the kitchen sink and dried them.  
  
  
“I’ll go see if some actual long division can be achieved,” Willow replied and squeezed Tara’s hand as she passed, “Anything you need me to do for dinner?”  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“No, there are plates on the table already. Just need to serve it up when we’re ready.”  
  
  
“I love you,” Willow replied and kissed Tara’s cheek.  
  
  
Tara headed out to brave the weather while Willow opened the door to the living room, where Robyn scrambled to turn off the screen she wasn’t supposed to be playing on.  
  
  
“You better have been using the calculator,” Willow advised as she walked in.  
  
  
She sat down on the couch behind where Robyn was sitting on the floor. Robyn looked up and smiled crookedly.  
  
  
“Hi, Momma.”  
  
  
“Hi, bean,” Willow returned affectionately, “How about we actually try to get some numbers on the page?”  
  
  
Robyn reluctantly pulled her math book toward her.  
  
  
Across town, JJ dunked a ball into the basket and landed back on his feet with a screech from his sneakers.  
  
  
“Wooo-eee I owned your ass!” he grinned as sweat descended down his brow and out from under his arms, “Return of _The King_.”  
  
  
“Alright, alright,” Thomas brushed him off, hunched over to catch his breath with his dreads tied up and swinging behind him, “That was a solid dunk, I’ll give you that.”  
  
  
As JJ beamed cockily, Thomas tapped the ball out of JJ’s grip and swung around him to launch the ball through the air and into the basket perfectly.  
  
  
“But it ain’t worth shit if you can’t catch a three-point play!”  
  
  
JJ heard the ball reverberate against the floor of the school gymnasium and held up his hands.  
  
  
“Alright, man. You got me. Gotta work on it. I want that jacket bad.”  
  
  
Thomas caught the ball on the first bounce and held it under his arm.  
  
  
“You wanna do some lay-ups?”  
  
  
JJ went over to the bench and downed water from his bottle. He quickly checked his phone and slid it back into the pocket of his sports bag.  
  
  
“I gotta go, dude. If I’m late for dinner my moms will kill me! See you in Bio on Monday?”  
  
  
He threw the bag over his shoulder and reached out to clasp Thomas’s hand, pulling him into a brief hug.  
  
  
Thomas nodded.  
  
  
“See you, man!”  
  
  
Thomas went back to the basket to continue practicing lay-ups and JJ moved toward the locker room so he could get his hoodie from his locker.  
  
  
He stuffed it into his bag and stayed in his shorts and jersey despite knowing Tara would give him a withering look and make him get changed before dinner.  
  
  
His locker banged closed and he stood in front of it for a moment to drain his water bottle.  
  
  
After a few moments, he spotted something, or rather someone, out of the corner of his eye. He turned toward the back row of lockers, where a young man had appeared from. That was odd because JJ knew there was nothing but a wall behind them.  
  
  
“Oh, hey man,” he called out easily.  
  
  
He took a closer look but couldn’t place the boy despite being a frequenter of this locker room at all hours. The other kid looked younger than him and was dressed in old jeans and a faded sweater.  
  
  
The kind of clothes Tara would love for him to come home in, JJ thought.  
  
  
The boy seemed startled to see him and took a step back.  
  
  
“Oh. Hey.”  
  
  
JJ looked at him curiously.  
  
  
“Don’t think I’ve seen you in here before. You play baseball or something?”  
  
  
For the first time, JJ noticed the other boy was holding a guitar case, not the usual piece of kit to accompany the guys who came through here.  
  
  
“Uh…I…I p-play…” the boy stuttered and held up his case indicatively.  
  
  
JJ nodded easily.  
  
  
“Hey, we take Algebra together or something? Feel like I’ve seen you around before.”  
  
  
The boy ducked his head of dark brown hair, making it fall into his eyes even more so than when it flopped there at full height.  
  
  
“I-I don’t think so.”  
  
  
JJ grabbed his own back and scratched behind his shoulder.  
  
  
“You a freshman?”  
  
  
“Yeah,” the boy breathed quietly.  
  
  
JJ nodded again.  
  
  
“Makes sense. I’m a junior. Well, see ya!”  
  
  
He started to walk away but frowned as he neared the door.  
  
  
Something felt really funky.  
  
  
He glanced over his shoulder and caught the boy just sitting on one of the benches, looking down at the floor. He turned back around into sight and found himself blurting out words à la his redheaded mother.  
  
  
“Hey, you hungry?”  
  
  
The boy looked up, startled again to see him still there.  
  
  
JJ gestured behind himself awkwardly.  
  
  
“I just gotta get home for dinner and my mom cooked chili. There’s always way too much and then I gotta eat these leftovers…” he trailed off sheepishly, “Just be cool to have someone to help.”  
  
  
The boy opened his mouth to protest but his stomach rumbling thwarted him. He blushed and looked down.  
  
  
“Hey, it’s whatever man,” JJ continued, trying to seem casual, “There’s just always so much food, y’know?”  
  
  
The boy slowly looked up and met JJ’s eyes with his own guarded ones.  
  
  
“Your mom won’t mind?”  
  
  
JJ waved a hand dismissively.  
  
  
“My mom is a feeder. If I didn’t play basketball I’d have a lot more chub,” he chuckled, “Nothing wrong with that but I like getting to eat as much of her food as I want. Seriously, bro, you’d be missing out.”  
  
  
The boy’s arm clutched his stomach and pressed against it to stop any more noisy interruptions.  
  
  
“…if you really think it’s okay…”  
  
  
“No doubt,” JJ replied easily and nodded to the boy as he crept up beside him, “Hey, what’s your name, man?”  
  
  
The boy seemed unsure of whether to look scared or relieved.  
  
  
“Kayden.”  
  
  
“JJ,” JJ introduced himself with a quick handshake, then threw his arm around Kayden’s shoulders, “Come on, my car is right outside. Wait ‘til you see it, she is a beauty. Put the rims on her myself.”  
  
  
Most of the ride home consisted of JJ bragging about his car. While he could always be trusted to wax lyrical about his baby at will, he wasn’t a total self-absorbed douche and had just continued to talk because Kayden didn’t seem to want to say much of anything. He just clutched his guitar case between his legs while looking out the window.  
  
  
Kayden seemed surprised when they stopped outside the house and craned his neck around to take in the house and neighborhood.  
  
  
JJ led them up the path and opened the door. Immediately inside, Robyn skidded past them while being chased by Lily flailing a marker about. Emily followed behind them with a worried look on her face.  
  
  
“L-Lily, be careful! That’s a per-mem-ent marker!”  
  
  
Kayden seemed startled by the sudden gaggle and JJ looked back with a knowing nod.  
  
  
“Yeah, sorry, there’s a _lot_ of girls here.”  
  
  
From the top of the stairs, a gangling beagle-cross shot down upon hearing JJ’s voice and JJ bent down to allow him to jump into his arms.  
  
  
“But Woofs here is my main man, right Woofs? High five!”  
  
  
Woofy barked and lifted a paw to tap against JJ’s hand. He did a spin when JJ indicated, then settled when his ears were scratched for a full three seconds.  
  
  
“Lily put the marker down!” Willow’s voice rang out firmly from the living room, “All of you, quit it!”  
  
  
“Dinner is ready!” Tara called from the kitchen, “That son of mine better be home.”  
  
  
“With an empty stomach,” JJ called back and gestured Kayden forward as he tried to take everything in.  
  
  
His arms were around his stomach again.  
  
  
Tara brought the pot of chili through to the dining room, smiling politely at Kayden as she passed.  
  
  
“Hello. Who’s this?”  
  
  
JJ pointed a finger in the opposite direction.  
  
  
“Uh, this is Kayden.”  
  
  
“Hello Kayden,” Tara said kindly.  
  
  
“H-Hi,” Kayden raised his hand, then let it fall limply down by his side.  
  
  
“I said he could stay for dinner,” JJ interjected with a gentle nod of his head.  
  
  
“Of course he can,” Tara replied easily, shooting JJ an arched eyebrow, “He even dressed appropriately.”  
  
  
JJ pinched the front of his jersey and looked affronted.  
  
  
“Am I really defined by the clothes that I wear?”  
  
  
“You are when you stink like that,” Robyn said as she skidded in behind them.  
  
  
JJ grabbed her and attempted to rub his underarm all over her.  
  
  
“How about I get it all over you! Huh, how’d you like that?!”  
  
  
Robyn squirmed desperately.  
  
  
“Stop! Stop it! You’re getting boy-smell all over me!”  
  
  
“JJ,” Willow warned as she walked in, “Go put some pants on please.”  
  
  
JJ threw his hands up and turned on his heels to march back out again. Tara took the lid from the chili, releasing the steam that flew immediately to Kayden’s nostrils. He stared at the open pot until he realized Tara was talking to him and pointing behind him.  
  
  
“You can leave that in the corner.”  
  
  
It took a second for Kayden to realize she meant his guitar case.  
  
  
“Oh,” he replied, clearing his throat to free some guff, “Uh, thanks.”  
  
  
He put the case in the corner then just hung back as the girls all took their seats. Tara was the last to, not before pulling out a seat for Kayden to sit on.  
  
  
“Let me get you an extra plate.”  
  
  
“T-thank you,” Kayden replied, a little self-consciously, “Um, ma’am.”  
  
  
“Tara, please,” Tara smiled softly in a way that put Kayden at ease, “And this is Robyn, Lily, and Emily. And Willow, of course.”  
  
  
Willow lifted her hand in a wave.  
  
  
“Willow, girls, this is Kayden. He’s friends with JJ.”  
  
  
Kayden’s face showed some uncertainty as he looked between Willow and Tara, but he politely waved back as there was a chorus of greetings.  
  
  
Tara got a plate and silverware for Kayden, then sat down beside Willow and shared a smile with her. While waiting for JJ to return to serve up, she gently caught Robyn’s ear.  
  
  
“Robyn, why is there a green dot on your ear?”  
  
  
“I gave her earrings!” Lily jumped up in her seat proudly, and twisted around for a moment before sliding back into it, “See how I did a perfect circle? I used green like The Grinch but not the exact one because I didn’t have it but it’s still my favorite color, isn’t it pretty?!”  
  
  
Tara licked her thumb and started to try and wipe the dot off, making Robyn protest with a squirm.  
  
  
“Quit it!”  
  
  
“Don’t be rude,” Tara said firmly.  
  
  
“Momma said it,” Robyn grumbled and Willow smiled awkwardly as Tara gave her a look.  
  
  
JJ’s feet pounded on the stairs and moments later his body swung through the door, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He did a fake curtsy.  
  
  
“Do I please the court?”  
  
  
“Yes,” Tara replied cordially with the hint of a crooked smile, “Now we can eat.”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes grew wide as big dollops of rice and chili were dropped onto his plate with some hard-shell tacos on the side. His hand shook as he closed it around his fork and his eyes darted around the table but no one was looking at him oddly.  
  
  
“Hey girls, I got a delivery from the bookstore today,” Willow said as she smiled at Tara again for plating her up, “They sent me early copies of—”  
  
  
Before Willow could even utter the name of the latest literary craze taking the adolescent market by storm, the girls all preempted it and started hollering and cheering. A piece of cheese hit Tara in the head and she just sighed and smiled.  
  
  
“My parents own a bookstore in California,” JJ explained quietly to Kayden as his fork shoveled food into his mouth.  
  
  
“Parents,” Kayden whispered, his eyes widening slightly.  
  
  
“Uh-huh, that’s my Momma,” JJ replied casually as he nodded toward Willow, “You met my Mom.”  
  
  
“Are you in class with JJ, Kayden?” Tara called across the table.  
  
  
“Um,” Kayden replied cagily, eyes twitching as he tried to discreetly look between Willow and Tara, “I’m a freshman.”  
  
  
“Basketball?” Willow guessed.  
  
  
“Mom, can you pass the cornbread?” JJ cut in and the questioning was stopped.  
  
  
Kayden kept his head down as he ate and did his best to manage his pace, though with JJ vacuuming up his plate, it allowed some room to tip in the opposite direction of completely dignified.  
  
  
When Tara finished, she settled her arms atop the table and smiled.  
  
  
“Everyone ready to do their rose and thorn?”  
  
  
“Mom,” JJ whined, looking pointedly at Kayden.  
  
  
“Maybe your friend would like to play?” Tara offered and ignored JJ’s groan as she explained to Kayden, “Every dinner, we play a game where we acknowledge something bad that happened in our day and then say something that went well or made us happy.”  
  
  
Kayden wiped his mouth on his napkin self-consciously.  
  
  
“Oh,” he replied, swallowing deeply, “Well uh…something bad that happened to me today…”  
  
  
His eyes flashed with something and twitched for a moment. Finally, he spoke again.  
  
  
“I had to wake up early.”  
  
  
“Any tips to get that boy beside you to do the same?” Willow grinned and JJ rolled his eyes.  
  
  
Kayden’s gaze moved between them all and their rapport.  
  
  
“And something good…” he continued, feeling beads of sweat form on his brow before turning to Tara earnestly, “Your chili is really good, Mrs. Ummm…”  
  
  
“Tara,” Tara said again, softly.  
  
  
Kayden’s ears turned red.  
  
  
“Yeah, um, this dinner is definitely the best thing.”  
  
  
Tara offered a sincere smile.  
  
  
“That’s very sweet of you to say, Kayden.”  
  
  
Kayden just nodded and ducked his head again.  
  
  
The rest of the table went through their roses and thorns and when they were done, JJ flicked his hand against Kayden’s arm.  
  
  
“Hey Kayden, you wanna come play video games in my room?”  
  
  
Kayden blinked several times.  
  
  
“O-okay,” he said eventually and stood with JJ to bring their dishes into the kitchen. He looked at Tara again, “Thanks.”  
  
  
“No problem, sweetie,” Tara replied easily and turned back to the table, “Okay, Lil, Em, I want you to have showers before bed tonight.”  
  
  
“I’ll take care of ole Grinch-ears here,” Willow said, eyeing Robyn, “I scrubbed off many a permanent marker mustache in middle school.”  
  
  
Tara rubbed Willow’s arm sympathetically, who smiled over gratefully.  
  
  
Upstairs, Kayden’s eyes moved all around the second floor of the pristine, warm house as JJ brought him up to the attic where his bedroom was. Kayden kept his guitar case tight on his back and looked down at Woofy skipping up the steps with them.  
  
  
“Your dog is cool.”  
  
  
“Woofs is the best. He’s a Jack-A-Bee, that’s a Jack Russell-Beagle cross. He’s been my best friend since I was eight,” JJ answered and Woofy answered accordingly with a bark, “Don’t blame me for the name, my baby sister named him when she was like 2.”  
  
  
Woofy whined indignantly.  
  
  
“You have a lot of sisters,” Kayden replied with a deep swallow.  
  
  
“I do,” JJ agreed as he pushed his retracting wall along enough to let them into his room, “Grab the couch or a beanbag, whatever you want.”  
  
  
Kayden carefully left his case down on the floor and sat into the nearest beanbag.  
  
  
He looked around JJ’s room and noticed a general basketball motif, but that wasn’t surprising. It was like a mini-loft with the aforementioned couch, a television on the wall opposite, and a mini-fridge where JJ was pulling out two cans of root beer.  
  
  
“I like your walls,” Kayden said as he spotted the different colored splats on the wall, “Like a twister board.”  
  
  
JJ chuckled.  
  
  
“Oh, I did it when I was a kid. I’ve kinda wanted to repaint it recently but it’s been like this for a long time…”  
  
  
“I like it,” Kayden replied with some reticent encouragement before he dropped his gaze, “I draw sometimes.”  
  
  
“Oh yeah?” JJ asked as he passed a root beer to Kayden and dropped onto the couch to pop the tab on his, “What do you like to draw?”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged one shoulder while holding his soda in both hands.  
  
  
“People, mostly. Surroundings.”  
  
  
JJ nodded and picked up his controller from the arm of the couch.  
  
  
“You like Super Mario Bros.?”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged again and nodded, so JJ proceeded to set them up to play two-player.  
  
  
“It’s cool your parents let you hang out like this,” JJ said, eyes flickering toward Kayden for a furtive moment.  
  
  
“I don’t have parents,” Kayden replied automatically.  
  
  
“Oh,” JJ replied, caught off guard.  
  
  
Kayden adjusted his back awkwardly.  
  
  
“I mean uh, I did, but now I got an aunt and an uncle.”  
  
  
“Right, right,” JJ nodded quickly, “I got two moms so that’s not that weird to me.”  
  
  
“They don’t care where I am anyway,” Kayden replied quietly, then turned his head sharply toward JJ, “Does it bother you?”  
  
  
“What?” JJ asked, confused.  
  
  
Kayden paused, his jaw clenching for a moment.  
  
  
“Hav…having two moms?”  
  
  
“Nah,” JJ waved a hand, “It’s pretty cool actually. Hey, you wanna be Mario or Luigi?”  
  
  
They raced against each other for a while as Kayden slowly relaxed to the point of jumping up and cheering when he defeated JJ yet again.  
  
  
JJ laughed and slapped Kayden’s back.  
  
  
“You’re riding my ass hard dude!”  
  
  
Kayden stiffened and dropped his controller. He tripped backward trying to take a step away.  
  
  
“I’m not a faggot!”  
  
  
JJ’s eyes widened and he slowly held his hands up.  
  
  
“Whoa man,” he said, watching Kayden’s cheeks and then his whole face turn bright red, “Hey I wasn’t…”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes blinked twice and his head shook before he slowly deflated with downcast eyes.  
  
  
“I’m sorry,” he said so quietly it almost couldn’t be heard.  
  
  
JJ waited for a beat until his own breath calmed back down too.  
  
  
“Real talk bro, that ain’t cool. I got two moms. And little sisters. That kinda language, it ain’t cool.”  
  
  
“I know, I’m sorry,” Kayden shook his head violently to himself, “Your moms are cool. I’m sorry.”  
  
  
JJ nodded slowly.  
  
  
“We all mess up sometimes,” he said, frowning at Kayden’s whole demeanor, “Hey, you know, it’s late.”  
  
  
Kayden’s jaw clenched again.  
  
  
“Yeah,” he said, looking around the room and closing his eyes as if he was hiding tears, “Yeah, I should go.”  
  
  
“Or you can stay, man, if you want,” JJ offered gently, “My couch here pulls out. Still raining pretty hard out there.”  
  
  
He stood up and stayed a few feet away to give Kayden space.  
  
  
“Just crash, dude. If you want.”  
  
  
Kayden opened his eyes and though they were glassy, no tears spilled. He looked at the couch like it was a four-poster bed and crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
  
Maybe this was a gift. A small break from…everything.  
  
  
He hadn’t really gotten a gift in a while.  
  
  
Maybe the universe thought he was due.  
  
  
He needed a second.  
  
  
“Can I use your bathroom?” he asked meekly.  
  
  
JJ nodded and pointed behind them.  
  
  
“Yeah, sure. It’s right there.”  
  
  
He watched Kayden go and stood a bit dumbfounded on the spot.  
  
  
He looked around as if looking for an answer to this extremely weird situation he’d gotten himself into. His eyes landed on the guitar case and before he could think better of it he was leaning it on his knee and snapping it open.  
  
  
There was no guitar inside.  
  
  
There were just some old clothes, a toothbrush, and a sketchbook but no guitar.  
  
  
JJ picked up the sketchbook but realized the moment he opened it and saw a sketch of two boys holding hands that he shouldn’t be looking at it.  
  
  
He heard the key turn in the bathroom and quickly closed the case again and jumped back to the other side of the room.  
  
  
“Hey, um, I’ll get you a blanket…and I’ll go ask my moms for some extra pillows!”  
  
  
He disappeared down the stairs leaving a frowning, confused Kayden in his wake.  
  
  
In the living room, Willow was cuddled into Tara’s side while they shared a footstool and some peaceful time after wrangling the brood into bed. She turned her head to Tara and kissed the spot where her neck met her shoulder.  
  
  
“Hey, I told Buffy we’d babysit Liam sometime soon so she and Angel could…do whatever it is they do on dates,” she shrugged.  
  
  
“Willow, they’re in our forties like us, with a toddler,” Tara replied wryly, “They’ll probably just sleep.”  
  
  
Willow smiled and glanced back at Tara,  
  
  
“Is that okay?”  
  
  
Tara smiled and nodded.  
  
  
“It will be nice to have a toddler running around these floors again. I hope my knees hold up.”  
  
  
“Your knees held up fine last night,” Willow murmured then giggled as she kissed Tara’s neck again.  
  
  
Tara’s smile broke out across her face and she tilted her neck but quickly patted Willow’s thigh when she spotted JJ’s looming shadow enter the room moments before he did.  
  
  
JJ didn’t look like he was sticking around long enough to see anything anyway as he started to step out almost as soon as he stepped in.  
  
  
“Uh, Kayden is staying the night, okay?”  
  
  
“Hold on,” Tara called him back, leaning forward on the couch to crane her neck around to see him, “Are his parents okay with that?”  
  
  
JJ’s brow furrowed.  
  
  
“Uh, yes?”  
  
  
“Was that a question or an answer?” Willow asked with an arched eyebrow.  
  
  
“Sweetheart, we’ve never seen or heard of this boy before tonight. We don’t know his parents and it’s late,” Tara explained softly, “Can you give us their number so we can check with them?”  
  
  
JJ stalled, avoiding either of their gazes. Willow frowned.  
  
  
“Jake, what’s going on?”  
  
  
JJ slowly walked across and sat on the coffee table in front of them.  
  
  
“Um, can I talk to you guys?”  
  
  
Both Willow and Tara swung their legs from the footstool and gave him their full attention.  
  
  
“About anything,” Tara replied gently, then after a brief glance at Willow, slipped her hand into JJ’s hand, “Sweetie, you know that anyone who is…special to you…is welcome here, no matter if they’re a boy or a girl.”  
  
  
Willow’s brow furrowed but she stayed quiet.  
  
  
“Oh, yeah, no, I know that,” JJ shook his head with a grimace, “This isn’t that.”  
  
  
“What is ‘this’?” Willow pressed with that eyebrow still angled.  
  
  
JJ reached back behind himself and scratched between his shoulder blades.  
  
  
“Well, the thing is I, uh…well, I don’t know. See, I never even met the kid before today. But something is weird. I think he could, uh…maybe be homeless?”  
  
  
Both Willow and Tara’s eyebrows rose high on their foreheads.  
  
  
“Why do you think that?” Tara asked, still soft but firm now too.  
  
  
JJ gnawed on the corner of his lip.  
  
  
“Well, I caught him sneaking around the locker room way after anyone left and he doesn’t even play sports. All he had was his guitar case but I looked inside and it just had some clothes and a toothbrush and old candy wrappers. Plus he said he doesn’t have any parents, just an aunt, and uncle but that they don’t care where he is.”  
  
  
He paused and looked up vulnerably.  
  
  
“He looked hungry, Mom. That’s why I brought him home.”  
  
  
Tara shared his pained look.  
  
  
“You’re a good boy,” she said, reaching out to cup his cheek, “I’m going to take care of this, okay? Don’t worry about it. Kayden can stay here tonight. You’ll need extra pillows and some blankets. Check the closet upstairs.”  
  
  
JJ stood and even at his full height, Tara was able to wrap him in a hug. JJ melted into it, relieved.  
  
  
“Thanks, Mom.”  
  
  
Tara kissed his cheek and patted his back.  
  
  
“We love you, Jakey.”  
  
  
“Love you,” Willow called softly as he left, then turned to Tara with wide eyes, “Whoa.”  
  
  
“Yes,” Tara agreed with creased eyes.  
  
  
“How do we handle this?” Willow asked a bit helplessly.  
  
  
“Professionally,” Tara answered surely, “I have to report it.”  
  
  
Willow nodded in agreement but her eyes were troubled.  
  
  
“He’s younger than JJ. What kind of people don’t care where a 14-year-old in their care is?”  
  
  
Tara held her hands up.  
  
  
“We don’t know the circumstances, they might be worried about him. I need to try and find some information and I don’t want to bombard him tonight in case he runs. I’m sorry honey, watching the rest of this movie doesn’t look like it’s on the cards.”  
  
  
Willow nodded again.  
  
  
“Of course. Can I help in any way?”  
  
  
Tara’s lips sloped up on one side.  
  
  
“Keep the bed warm for me?”  
  
  
Willow smiled and leaned over to kiss Tara softly.  
  
  
“I love you,” Tara whispered.  
  
  
“I love you,” Willow whispered back, then furrowed her brow again, “For the future, are we really okay with boy-slash-girl friends of the smoochie and snuggle variety staying over?”  
  
  
“I am,” Tara replied definitively as she looked around for the remote to turn off the television, “I’d rather that than in the back of a car somewhere or in the bushes.”  
  
  
“TV off,” Willow called into the ether and the television dutifully turned itself off, “It wouldn’t kill them to wait. We did.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyebrow arched.  
  
  
“What if we’d met our sophomore year of high school instead of our sophomore year of college?”  
  
  
It took less than a second for Willow to look sheepish.  
  
  
“Point taken.”  
  
  
Tara looked off to the side.  
  
  
“I wonder if it’s time to put condoms in the medicine cabinet…”  
  
  
Willow looked pained and nauseous all at once.  
  
  
“Can we go back to me keeping the bed warm?”  
  
  
Tara smiled back at her wife.  
  
  
“I know it will take a while with those icicle tootsies.”  
  
  
Willow pecked Tara’s lips again and retreated with a grin.  
  
  
“They’ll be waiting…”  
  
  
Tara smiled softly, then frowned toward the ceiling.  
  
  
She fetched her laptop from under the coffee table and got to work.  
  


* * *

  
When Willow woke the next morning she had no memory of Tara coming to bed.  
  
  
And when she looked over to the other side of the empty bed, she wasn’t sure Tara had come to bed at all.  
  
  
She swung her legs out of bed and had to spend a few seconds rolling the base of her spine so her back wouldn’t protest the mere act of standing.  
  
  
Her 40s liked to remind her of their existence every morning with this little routine. If she didn’t comply, Willow could expect retribution in the form of a hitch and a kink, with a side of a twinge that would last all day.  
  
  
She would demonstrably object to all of this aging malarkey if it weren’t for Tara’s cute crow’s feet greeting her every morning. A compliment she had voiced just the once. The look Tara had given her afterward had made her back pop into place in fear.  
  
  
She stretched her arms upward for good measure and smiled when she stood up without issue.  
  
  
Tara, of course, didn’t have these issues because she took weekly yoga classes but Willow wasn’t about to grumble about her wife’s flexibility.  
  
  
She took her robe from the back of the door and closed it over her body before leaving the room to head downstairs.  
  
  
The house was quiet, which was unusual for a lot of the time, but not so much early on a Saturday morning.  
  
  
She could hear the faint sound of a metal spoon knocking around a cup of tea and so went to the kitchen where Tara was standing at the island, her laptop open. She was stirring a cup of coffee, not tea.  
  
  
“There you are,” Willow said and Tara looked up with weary eyes grateful to see her, “Did you come to bed at all?”  
  
  
“For a bit,” Tara answered, standing up straight and holding her cup between both hands, “You were drooling.”  
  
  
“Was not,” Willow replied indignantly.  
  
  
She pecked Tara’s cheek but when she went to move off, Tara caught her by the wrist. Tara put her cup down and swung her arms around Willow’s neck, then leaned in and pressed her lips to Willow properly.  
  
  
Willow’s hands settled on Tara’s waist and she returned the kiss for several long seconds until they parted.  
  
  
“Oh, honey,” Willow said sympathetically. She knew what kind of kiss that was, “That bad?”  
  
  
Tara’s hands slowly fell away from Willow’s shoulders and she heaved a soft, extended sigh.  
  
  
“Well, without telling you anything identifying…”  
  
  
Willow nodded quickly.  
  
  
“Of course.”  
  
  
Tara picked up her cup of coffee again and cracked her neck from side to side.  
  
  
“He’s known in the system. His parents died when he was young and he’s been living with relatives. There’s been numerous reports about violence in the home that neighbors have overheard. There’s also corroborating ER visit reports.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes closed painfully and she leaned gently against the fridge for support.  
  
  
“Oh no.”  
  
  
Tara nodded solemnly.  
  
  
“Three weeks ago there was a scheduled visit and Kayden wasn’t there, nor were there any signs of him. The relatives said he was just out with friends but he hasn’t been there for repeated calls,” she said and sighed, “I think JJ was right and he’s been living at the school. I’ve requested security footage to be sure.”  
  
  
“Oh my god,” Willow breathed.  
  
  
Tara’s knuckles turned white around the cup.  
  
  
“I’m furious that he’s fallen through the cracks like this.”  
  
  
Willow pushed off the fridge and came over to rub Tara’s arm.  
  
  
“Well I know he wasn’t a case under you. Because your kids don’t fall through the cracks.”  
  
  
Tara slowly relaxed under Willow’s touch.  
  
  
“Different office. The relatives that he’s living with live in a different part of town. But his school is under my jurisdiction so I’ve requested a transfer.”  
  
  
“Are you stepping on any professional toes?” Willow asked with an anticipatory pained smile, but Tara just shook her head.  
  
  
“Unfortunately a lot of social workers are just grateful to have one less case on the pile. Not their fault, it’s the system. There just aren’t enough resources.”  
  
  
Tara’s head ducked and Willow pulled her into a fresh hug.  
  
  
“Oh, baby.”  
  
  
Tara inhaled softly from Willow’s neck and found her strength. As she pulled back to straighten her back, she spotted old sneakers quietly rushing down the stairs through the open door. She rushed out of the kitchen and caught Kayden about seven inches from bolting out the front door.  
  
  
“Whoa there,” she said with a cheery, disarming smile, “Where are you off to so quick?”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged his guitar case over his shoulder as his unkempt hair fell into his eyes when he looked downward.  
  
  
“I-I made the bed.”  
  
  
“Oh, that was good of you,” Tara replied easily, “Normally when I go up there it’s just a mess of sheets and pillows.”  
  
  
Kayden remained silent with his eyes on the floor and the small space between them felt like it was being pushed further and further by some invisible force field.  
  
  
Tara made herself seem as nonthreatening as possible; it wasn’t difficult.  
  
  
“Kayden, I’d like to speak to you for a few minutes. Would that be okay?”  
  
  
“Um, I guess,” Kayden replied cagily and shrugged his case on his shoulder again.  
  
  
Tara guided him without touch into the living room and let him sit on the sofa while she sat on the footstool in front of him. She held her legs together and clasped her hands in front of her with a smile.  
  
  
“You play guitar?” she asked easily, smiling toward the case leaning against the arm of the chair, “Lily just started piano. Maybe you could play together sometime.”  
  
  
Kayden looked up, surprised at that suggestion.  
  
  
“I…used to,” he replied cagily again, “It got…broken.”  
  
  
Tara nodded but her brow creased just a tad; a little furrow between her eyes.  
  
  
“How did it get broken, sweetie?”  
  
  
Kayden clammed up and his eyes returned to the floor. Tara nodded again and sat a bit straighter.  
  
  
“Did JJ tell you what I do?”  
  
  
Kayden looked up quizzically and Tara got her answer.  
  
  
“Well, I’m a social worker.”  
  
  
Kayden’s demeanor immediately changed. He seemed stuck between falling over himself to get out of there and sinking back enough that the couch could have swallowed him whole.  
  
  
Tara felt the waves of fear pouring out of him. These conversations never got easier.  
  
  
“I know you’ve met people like me before,” she continued softly, “And that they’ve let you down.”  
  
  
Kayden’s skittish eyes met Tara’s for a single second, but a whole single second. Tara’s empathy poured out enough to keep his gaze.  
  
  
“Where were you going to sleep last night Kayden? Before you came here?”  
  
  
Kayden swayed his head from side to side.  
  
  
“I can’t tell you.”  
  
  
“Why can’t you tell me?” Tara prompted gently.  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes shut and Tara knew without seeing that they were hiding tears.  
  
  
“I know your aunt and your uncle are your legal guardians. Were you going to go to their house?”  
  
  
Kayden’s face crumpled but his eyes remained shut tight. He hesitated, then shook his head.  
  
  
“How come?” Tara asked softly.  
  
  
Kayden looked to the side and swiped his sleeve over his eyes.  
  
  
“JJ invited me here.”  
  
  
“And we loved having you,” Tara replied quickly, kindly, honestly, “You’re the politest friend JJ has ever brought home. Maybe you could teach my lot some manners.”  
  
  
Kayden’s knee was shaking nervously and Tara put a gentle hand on it.  
  
  
“Do you want some hot cocoa, sweetie? It’s cold this morning.”  
  
  
Kayden held himself closed off with his arms around himself, but some youthful vulnerability shone in his eyes at the prospect of some hot chocolate.  
  
  
“I don’t like being a pain.”  
  
  
Tara laughed softly.  
  
  
“Oh, you’re nothing like it. I gave birth to twins, trust me I know pain,” she joked with a smile, “Willow?”  
  
  
Willow’s head popped around the door moments later.  
  
  
“Could you get the cocoa out for us?” Tara requested with a pointed look.  
  
  
“It’s the morning for it,” Willow smiled easily, “Coming right up.”  
  
  
Kayden’s arms slowly released by his sides. Tara looked at him kindly.  
  
  
“I know these questions that I’m asking are hard,” she said with a steady nod of her head, “And I think you know why I’m asking them.”  
  
  
Kayden got tense again and Tara quickly adjusted her tone.  
  
  
“Kayden, this is a safe space. You can talk to me.”  
  
  
Kayden’s head jerked from side to side. He looked down.  
  
  
“When I talk I just get hurt.”  
  
  
“Who hurts you?” Tara asked quickly, but was met with shaking silence, “Is it your aunt? Or your…”  
  
  
Kayden flinched. Tara exhaled.  
  
  
“Your uncle.”  
  
  
Kayden had quickly been brought to the point of tears again.  
  
  
“How does he hurt you?” Tara forced herself to ask, because she had to, “Kayden, how did your guitar break?”  
  
  
Kayden knees rattled. He shook his head several times and clasped his hands together tightly. He glanced at Tara and then away again quickly before running his hand through his hair. He sat back against the couch and winced in pain.  
  
  
Tara waited and said nothing. Kayden cast longer and longer looks in Tara’s direction and she would look back and offer eyes full of compassion. Eventually, he sat forward and pulled his dirty, old t-shirt up his back.  
  
  
It was crisscrossed with various cuts and bruises and Tara spotted some splinters. She fought to keep the shake out of her voice.  
  
  
“Kayden, he had no right to do that to you.”  
  
  
The totality of what he had revealed seemed to hit Kayden and he grabbed his case, making an uncomfortable face as it hit his back again which could now be recognized as a wince.  
  
  
“I gotta go.”  
  
  
Tara jumped up quickly and caught Kayden’s wrist.  
  
  
“Kayden.”  
  
  
“Get off me!” Kayden pushed her hand away and looked immediately regretful but no less skittish, “I can’t go back there!”  
  
  
“You won’t,” Tara said resolutely and gently took his shoulders, “Kayden, listen to me.”  
  
  
Kayden looked everywhere but Tara’s face for several seconds, then couldn’t help it. He immediately burst into tears and didn’t know what to do when Tara tried to hug him, so unused to the offer of a comforting embrace.  
  
  
“Please don’t send me back there,” he whimpered as Tara’s warmth let him lower his guard long enough to allow it.  
  
  
Tara rubbed his back like she had so many children before him, but was extra gentle with him.  
  
  
“You’re staying right here with us until we can get this figured out. You won’t go back to your aunt and uncle, I promise.”  
  
  
She spotted Willow in the doorway holding two mugs and gestured her in. She saw Kayden try to cover up his little moment of vulnerability and gently pushed his shoulder.  
  
  
“Go get some breakfast, okay?”  
  
  
“There’s cereal and raisin bread on the island,” Willow added kindly and shoved one mug at him, “And here, take your hot chocolate.”  
  
  
Kayden took the mug and stared into it. He took a little, cautious sip, then looked between Willow and Tara and finally retreated off to get some food.  
  
  
Willow slowly turned to Tara with wide eyes.  
  
  
“Can you make that kind of promise?”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes looked troubled yet determined.  
  
  
“I just did.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Okay, whose turn is it to stir first?”  
  
  
Three hands went up as Robyn and Lily fought each other to reach up while Emily hung back, waving gently. Tara knew it was really Emily’s turn because Emily was the only one who wouldn’t lie about it.  
  
  
“Come here koala bear,” she said and brought the bowl of pancake batter down for Emily to wield her little arm around.  
  
  
“I’m next!” Lily shoved herself forward and Tara let her and Robyn duke it out as she had learned to come between their conflicts only made things worse.  
  
  
It had taken a bonk on the head to figure that one out, a literal one.  
  
  
Once each girl had had the opportunity to stir the batter, Tara lifted it toward Kayden, who was sitting at the island trying his best to look invisible.  
  
  
“Would you like to stir, Kayden?”  
  
  
Kayden looked almost startled to be addressed and quickly shook his head. Tara just smiled easily.  
  
  
“Okay, then you get to decide if we cook funny shapes or round.”  
  
  
With three sets of young, eager eyes staring up at him, Kayden’s brow furrowed with concentration.  
  
  
“…funny shapes?”  
  
  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah!!” came the cheers from the girls and Kayden looked relieved and even slightly pleased that he’d made the right choice.  
  
  
Tara turned to the burner and ladled the first scoop of batter into the skillet.  
  
  
“Okay girls, get your plates!”  
  
  
They lined up in the same order they’d stirred in and Tara quickly got a steady stream of pancakes coming out. Once the girls had taken theirs, she brought the next one over to Kayden on a plate.  
  
  
“I tried to do a guitar but I didn’t quite succeed,” she replied bashfully and smiled, “Still tastes as good.”  
  
  
Kayden looked down at the plate and back up at Tara.  
  
  
“T-thank you.”  
  
  
Tara leaned over the island on her elbows to be more at his level.  
  
  
“Sorry for the running commentary on whether their pancake is a rhombus or a parallelogram. Willow says it’s a good way to prepare them for geometry,” she said affectionately as the girls argued among themselves beside him, “Do you do geometry classes?”  
  
  
“Yeah,” Kayden replied and swallowed deeply, “Tomorrow morning.”  
  
  
He used the fork to nibble on his pancake then looked at Tara again the way he had when she first gave it to him; disconcerted.  
  
  
“What’s going to happen? Tomorrow?”  
  
  
“You’re going to go to school,” Tara replied easily, covering Kayden’s hand with hers, “And you’re going to listen to everything your teacher has to say so that you can help me make some new shapes. Okay?”  
  
  
Kayden gulped again and Tara patted his hand.  
  
  
“If you need to talk you can pull me aside any time, okay?” she promised in a gentle tone and didn’t dwell, “Another pancake?”  
  
  
“Did I hear pancakes?” JJ’s voice came from the hall and he appeared moments later shirtless and wearing just his pajama bottoms.  
  
  
“How nice of you to join us,” Tara said with a wry smile over her shoulder.  
  
  
There was a chorus of good mornings from the girls and Kayden nodded at him.  
  
  
“Alright man,” JJ said as he ran his hand back through his sandy hair with one hand and patted Kayden on the back with the other, missing his wince.  
  
  
“Finished!” Lily announced first and all but dove off of her stool.  
  
  
“Bring your plate to the sink please,” Tara advised, then reached into a nearby cabinet and took down two little bottles.  
  
  
She poured a cup of water and bent down to Lily’s level.  
  
  
“Mommy’s going to take her pill and you’ll take yours, okay?”  
  
  
She swallowed her anti-depressant and watched Lily take her Ritalin. She kissed Lily's head.  
  
  
“Good girl. Go play with your sisters.”  
  
  
Lily skidded back over in that direction, but just like the rest of the weekend, she was far more interested in their house guest. She pulled out of his sleeve.  
  
  
“Kayden, come see my costumes! I have Elsa and Hermione and Wonder Woman and a pirate and a minion and…”  
  
  
“No Kayden, come show me your guitar!” Robyn insisted, tugging him from the side.  
  
  
“We can draw i-if you wanna,” Emily suggested shyly, adjusting her glasses so her face would be hidden.  
  
  
“Girls, leave Kayden alone,” Tara warned.  
  
  
“I-it’s okay,” Kayden replied agreeably, “I can play with you guys.”  
  
  
He was promptly dragged off and JJ thrust his chest out.  
  
  
“I’ve been replaced.”  
  
  
“Never,” Tara shook her head and squeezed JJ’s defined bicep, “Just the excitement of someone new to hang out of.”  
  
  
JJ just smiled; he was easy going like that, though there was a troubled twitch on his lips.  
  
  
“Mom, what’s happening?”  
  
  
Tara met his gaze assuredly.  
  
  
“You let me take care of it, okay?”  
  
  
JJ smiled again and glanced down at himself.  
  
  
“Am I dressed for pancakes?”  
  
  
“You’re barely dressed at all,” Tara replied wryly with her lips quirking up on one side, “But I think that’s fine for pancakes.”  
  
  
JJ went over to the fridge and opened it.  
  
  
“Can I have a funny shape?” he asked as he unscrewed the cap on the orange juice and started to chug it.  
  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
  
“Yes, you — use a glass, please — yes, you can.”  
  
  
When he didn’t, Tara flicked his abs with the spatula.  
  
  
“Jacob James. Glass.”  
  
  
JJ just put the orange juice carton back in the door of the fridge instead.  
  
  
“Did you know the name James comes from the name Jacob?” he asked, kicking his leg back up behind him as he crossed his arms across his chest, “Why’d you name me two of the same name?”  
  
  
“We kinda had to name you in a hurry, bud,” Willow’s sleepy voice came from the doorway as she walked in wrapped in her robe, “Didn’t have time to look up the etymological origins of every name that popped into our heads. You were JJ before you were Jacob or James.”  
  
  
“You’re lucky you’re not John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt considering that’s was what inspired your name,” Tara added as she slid a pancake onto a plate and handed it over to him, “Funny shape.”  
  
  
JJ kissed Tara’s cheek.  
  
  
“Thanks, Mom,” he said as he walked past to join the other kids in the living room, “Ooh, a polygon.”  
  
  
Willow walked up and embraced Tara from behind.  
  
  
“One of those available for me?”  
  
  
“If you give me a couple of minutes,” Tara answered as she gave the last of the batter a fresh stir.  
  
  
“Guess I’ll just have to _hang on_ ,” Willow joked with a chuckled on Tara’s neck.  
  
  
Tara smiled.  
  
  
“Good morning love,” she greeted softly.  
  
  
“Good morning,” Willow replied with a kiss to the side of Willow’s neck, “Thanks for holding down the fort this morning.”  
  
  
“I was up early anyway to tend to my roses,” Tara said then let out a soft exhale, “Kayden was already awake when I got up.”  
  
  
“Yeah?” Willow asked with an unseen eyebrow raise.  
  
  
“He was cleaning,” Tara nodded in a slightly tense tone, “Emptied the dishwasher and took out the trash.”  
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
“Oh?”  
  
  
Tara nodded again.  
  
  
“I think he thinks we need to think he’s useful or we’ll kick him out onto the streets again…or worse, where he was before.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Willow replied through a long breath, “I hope he doesn’t think we’d kick him out. He’s a really sweet boy, so polite. You’d never know he’s going through so much.”  
  
  
“Mmm…” Tara said uncomfortably, “At least he isn’t running. That says something. That he’s stayed when he’s had the opportunity to go.”  
  
  
Willow nodded on Tara’s shoulder.  
  
  
“It does. Says something about you. And now I get to say something about you. I love you.”  
  
  
Tara leaned back to press a kiss to Willow’s lips.  
  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
  
In the hallway, Kayden spied on the silent embrace and crossed his own arms across his body to hug himself.  
  


* * *

  
Tara weaved through the cubicles at work at a fast pace to get to the meeting room in the back.  
  
  
The three other team leaders were already in there, so Tara closed the door behind her when she got in.  
  
  
“Hi Steph, hi Arnold, hi, Ross,” she greeted as she took a seat around the table and opened her binder, “I’m so sorry that I’m late. I dropped the kids right to school this morning and traffic was hell.”  
  
  
“It’s not a problem, we hadn’t even started yet,” Steph replied in a friendly tone, “But if everyone is ready…”  
  
  
Everyone else’s binders were opened and they began the discussion of their cases for the week ahead.  
  
  
“Tara, I can see you initiated a transfer from the Emerson office…” Steph said as she pulled one of the last files in the middle of the table toward her.  
  
  
“I presented the home with formal papers of child acquisition this morning,” Tara replied as she clicked her pen back into use.  
  
  
Steph looked up from the page in surprise.  
  
  
“You only requested the transfer this morning.”  
  
  
“I requested the transfer on Saturday,” Tara clarified, “The system only put it through this morning. There was no contest from Emerson. I’d given them a heads up already.”  
  
  
Steph exchanged a confused look with the two men, who seemed to be as befuddled as she was by the turn of events.  
  
  
“You weren’t on call this weekend, were you?” Steph asked as her eyes scanned the small amount of documents in her possession to put the pieces together, “I think you’re going to have to walk us through this one, Tara.”  
  
  
Tara sat up straighter in her chair and held a page scribbled with her notes in front of it.  
  
  
“I was made aware of a 14-year-old boy, Kayden West, possibly presenting himself as homeless on Friday night and upon looking into his case found a troubling history that wasn’t getting the attention it required. I later received a verbal admission of physical abuse in the home from the young person. I initiated proceedings to formally remove him from the custody of his maternal aunt Roxy Mackenzie-Miller and her husband Antony Miller. Parents are deceased, no other living relatives are known.”  
  
  
Steph wrote her own notes as Tara spoke.  
  
  
“How were you made aware of these circumstances?”  
  
  
Tara set her pen down.  
  
  
“My son him brought him home. Found him in the school after hours and was suspicious.”  
  
  
“Wise boy,” Steph replied, tucking some hair behind her ear as it fell into her face from looking down at her notepad, “This certainly warrants an investigation that should have taken place before now. Has Kayden been taken into our custody? Was an emergency foster home found for the weekend or has he been placed in a group home?”  
  
  
“He’s in school,” Tara replied evenly, “I’ll collect him at the end of the day.”  
  
  
Steph looked up with an arched eyebrow.  
  
  
“Why? That’s not in your job description. Put a caseworker on it.”  
  
  
“He came to my house as a friend of my son’s and has been staying with us while I got everything figured out,” Tara explained, “It was the weekend and he is very fragile. I filed my first report on Friday night remotely from home detailing this.”  
  
  
Steph nodded quickly.  
  
  
“Okay then. You should assign him a caseworker who can find a suitable home to place him in.”  
  
  
Steph started to pull the next file from the pile and turned to address Ross but Tara held a hand up.  
  
  
“Actually, I already found him a placement,” she said, breath exhaling softly, “He can stay in my home.”  
  
  
Ross and Arnold both looked bewildered and Steph’s mouth stayed parted in surprise.  
  
  
“Tara…”  
  
  
“I’m concerned he’s a flight risk and that any more destabilization could cause us to lose sight of him,” Tara responded to the question that hadn’t been asked, “He’s already proven he’s willing to make himself homeless. He’s settled with my family and I believe it is in his best interests to stay at least until we know what the next steps are.”  
  
  
Steph held her head in her hand, massaging her temple.  
  
  
“Tara, you can’t just shelter clients. You of all people know that.”  
  
  
“There are exceptions,” Tara replied resolutely.  
  
  
The men both sat back silently. Steph was the boss and they weren’t about to get in the middle of whatever this turned out to be.  
  
  
“Tara, this is beyond the remit of our reach as professionals,” Steph continued in a strong tone, “Your professional ability is what’s gotten you promoted against people with seniority. You can’t make this personal.”  
  
  
“My son brought this boy home. This is the definition of personal,” Tara replied and found her heart pounding a bit, “My accreditations are up to date. There’s no legal reason he can’t stay with me.”  
  
  
Steph looked over at Tara seriously.  
  
  
“If you take him in, you cannot be the lead on his case. It’s a complete conflict of interest.”  
  
  
Tara closed Kayden’s file and pushed it across the table to her.  
  
  
“You’ll find everything is in order and up-to-date.”  
  
  
Steph snatched it but made herself take a breath.  
  
  
“Tara, what’s your end game here?”  
  
  
Tara breathed once before answering.  
  
  
“To be a stable home for him.”  
  
  
Steph laughed, a bit at a loss.  
  
  
“If you’re actually proposing fostering this boy, you’ll still have to take the classes, just like any other foster parent would.”  
  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
  
“I’m aware.”  
  
  
“So will your wife,” Steph challenged.  
  
  
Tara nodded again, with a small twitch.  
  
  
“Yes.”  
  
  
“You’ll have to have a home visit,” Steph added with an arched eyebrow, “Have the appropriate reports written up. Go through every other step that every other prospective family has to go through.”  
  
  
Tara closed her eyes for a moment. She wasn’t even sure she’d meant to say everything she was saying. All she could see were Kayden’s troubled, brown eyes.  
  
  
“I understand the procedures. I am not letting that boy be let down again.”  
  
  
Steph saw the compassion so clear in Tara’s eyes and nodded once, trusting.  
  
  
“Okay. You’ll need a signature from a judge and you’ll be excluded from all internal communication regarding his case going forward.”  
  
  
Tara nodded and pushed back her chair.  
  
  
“Understood.”  
  
  
She took her binder and new files and quietly left the room, with two gaping men and a sighing woman left behind.  
  
  
“There’s only one way this ends,” Steph shook her head.  
  
  
Arnold looked over to her, a v in his brow.  
  
  
“How’s that?”  
  
  
Steph had a hint of a smile on her face as she crossed Tara’s name off the lead caseworker on Kayden’s file.  
  
  
“The exact same way it did last time.”  
  


* * *

  
Willow walked into the little café situated between hers and Tara’s offices where they liked to meet for lunch occasionally when schedules allowed. Usually, it was something they planned in advance, unlike this meeting which Willow had hurried from work for when Tara called and asked to meet urgently.  
  
  
Willow looked around and spotted Tara in the corner, holding her face in both hands. She quickly went over and swung herself into the chair opposite her wife.  
  
  
“Hey,” she said softly, placing her hand on Tara’s arm and caressing her gently, “What’s with the stress face?”  
  
  
Tara gratefully let Willow hold her arms across the table.  
  
  
“Everything has tumbled somewhere I didn’t intend it to go. I-I wasn’t thinking, or else I was thinking really clearly. But now I don’t know what to do.”  
  
  
Willow drew her hands back to link both sets of fingers.  
  
  
“You want us to take Kayden in, don’t you?” she asked softly.  
  
  
Tara looked up with surprised, vulnerable eyes.  
  
  
“I kind of already said we would,” she said, tears filling them, “I should not have done that, no way. Not without talking to you.”  
  
  
“Tara,” Willow replied gently, “If you hadn’t offered to take him, you wouldn’t be the woman I married.”  
  
  
Tara felt her soul soothed for a moment and was able to take a calming breath. When she opened her eyes again they were unclouded.  
  
  
“Willow, I have to tell you. This isn’t a situation where we try to promote reunification.”  
  
  
A small line appeared in Willow’s brow.  
  
  
“Dumb it down for me please.”  
  
  
Tara stroked her fingers against Willow’s.  
  
  
“His placement would not be for just a couple of weeks.”  
  
  
Willow nodded slowly.  
  
  
“You’re saying if we agree to this, we’re agreeing to a long-term foster situation.”  
  
  
Tara nodded back.  
  
  
“With all of the complications that come with it.”  
  
  
“Tara,” Willow breathed easily, “Our son brought this boy home because he saw the need in him. We’re involved whether we like it or not. And I know that you would never forgive yourself if you didn’t do everything in your power to help. I wouldn’t either.”  
  
  
Tara closed her eyes and nodded with something akin to relief.  
  
  
“Are our children safe?” Willow asked with some concern.  
  
  
Tara looked back at Willow and cleared her throat.  
  
  
“He would have mandatory counseling but I would be lying if I said that there won’t be issues. Abuse cases always present issues, ranging from emotional to behavioral.”  
  
  
“Well our kids haven’t been abused a day in their lives and even they have some emotional and behavioral issues,” Willow replied with a one-shoulder shrug, “I know it won’t be easy but we’ve dealt with a lot of not-easy stuff before. If you trust that he’s safe in our care and our family are safe with him, I trust you.”  
  
  
“Nothing in his history speaks to violence,” Tara said, rolling her bottom lip against her top to get some moisture, “His school reports all list a quiet, sometimes withdrawn boy but friendly and kind.”  
  
  
Willow started to draw circles in Tara’s palm, a movement that calmed them both.  
  
  
“Can you tell me more about his background?”  
  
  
“Yes,” Tara replied and cleared her throat as she reached into her purse to take out a small notepad, “Yes. He was born to Veronica aka Ronnie Mackensie and Austin West. Austin was incarcerated when Kayden was age six for carjacking and motor vehicle theft and subsequently died in a prison riot the following year. Family services were not engaged at this point.”  
  
  
She stopped and shook her head, angry.  
  
  
“An immediate failure when a parent has been incarcerated, but that’s a past issue,” she sniped and swallowed, “Ronnie died as a result of a heroin overdose when Kayden was 10. It is unknown for how long she was a user but maintained an employment history, albeit erratic, right up until her death. Ruled as an accidental overdose. History of bipolar disorder and intermittent compliance with medication.”  
  
  
Tara looked up and saw Willow reeling a bit.  
  
  
“Need a minute?”  
  
  
“It’s okay,” Willow replied unconvincingly.  
  
  
Tara just nodded but softened her tone.  
  
  
“His only living relatives were his mother’s sister with whom he was placed after her death. She subsequently married her partner, Antony Miller whom Kayden has identified as having perpetrated physical abuse against him. Inquiries into any other abuse in the home are currently ongoing.”  
  
  
Willow paled.  
  
  
“They hit him?”  
  
  
Tara looked up and her eyes drooped.  
  
  
“The uncle broke his guitar over his back,” she said without a quiver but plenty of pain in her tone, “There’s lots of littered ER reports to suggest it wasn’t a once-off.”  
  
  
Willow closed her eyes and shuddered.  
  
  
“They have any other kids?”  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“No other children present in the home.”  
  
  
Willow took a whole minute to process everything.  
  
  
“Do you really listen to cases like this every day?”  
  
  
Tara pursed her lips.  
  
  
“And worse,” she replied and waited for Willow to seem less tense, but she didn’t, “You need time.”  
  
  
“No. I don’t,” Willow replied quickly, “Well, maybe I do, but we don’t have it. I never expected us to take on another kid but I never expected us to take on our first kid either.”  
  
  
She pressed their palms together tightly.  
  
  
“It’s only because your heart is so big that we have our son. So how can I say no now?”  
  
  
“You can say no,” Tara replied with an assured nod, “I need you to know that you can say no and that it won’t come between us.”  
  
  
“It would,” Willow replied softly, “Because if I said no I wouldn’t be the woman than a woman like you chose to marry in the first place. A woman that trusts you implicitly and knows your heart is the heart of our whole family.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes filled and Willow brought her chair around so she could put her arm over Tara’s shoulders.  
  
  
“I know he’s only been here for the weekend but I haven’t seen anything that gives me concern. Except that he’s clearly in need of a lot of love,” she said with a soft smile, “Something we happen to have in abundance.”  
  
  
She pecked Tara’s cheek and looked at her with utter trust. Tara took in a long breath and smiled confidently.  
  
  
“Then we better go. We’ve got an appointment at the courthouse.”


	3. Chapter 3

On the steps of the courthouse, Willow took Tara’s hand as they descended back down to the street.  
  
  
“So he can just come home with us now, right? He gets to stay with us while they do all the official stuff?”  
  
  
“Yes,” Tara answered with a resolute smile, “It didn’t hurt that Hallie was the judge.”  
  
  
“Nice to see her move up in the world when she helped us keep JJ,” Willow smiled back, “Okay, so…what do we do now?”  
  
  
Tara blinked as she tried to take in the enormity of what they had just done.  
  
  
“Guess we’ll have to fix up the other attic bedroom.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes lit up.  
  
  
“Yes!” she said with a quick bob of her head, “I’ll call in the cavalry and get all of our junk moved to the basement. And I’ll get right onto the IKEA website.”  
  
  
“Actually, I think I’d like to take him there myself,” Tara replied with a soft smile, “I feel like he hasn’t had much that’s his own in a while.”  
  
  
“Right,” Willow said, clicking her fingers, “Yes, of course.”  
  
  
She looked back at Tara.  
  
  
“What’s next?”  
  
  
“We’ll have to undergo an official assessment,” Tara answered slowly, “Take parenting classes and have a home study. Medical checks, background checks.”  
  
  
“Which we both need for our jobs anyway, so no big deal,” Willow nodded, “How long is the parenting class?”  
  
  
Tara grimaced.  
  
  
“30 hours.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes popped out of her head.  
  
  
“It’s specifically catered to the unique circumstances around fostering,” Tara explained, “It’s done over 10 weeks. One day or night a week for three hours. I’ve actually taught some.”  
  
  
“They’re making you take the class when you’ve already taught it?!” Willow asked incredulously.  
  
  
“We’re being assessed as any other foster parent would,” Tara replied calmly, “We’re lucky that we’ve gotten temporary custody until we’re certified and we really only got that _because_ of my position. So we have to consider ourselves ahead of the game.”  
  
  
“Right,” Willow breathed, “So what do we tell the kids? All of them, Kayden too?”  
  
  
Tara thought for a moment.  
  
  
“We tell Kayden he has a home,” she answered through a soft breath, “And we tell the others that Kayden is coming to live with us.”  
  
  
Willow smiled.  
  
  
“Incredibly simple, actually.”  
  
  
They walked to the point of the street where they would have to physically part to return in their respective directions. Tara took both of Willow’s hands.  
  
  
“Willow, there’s one thing that came up that I didn’t’ mention yet,” she said and visibly took in a long breath, “By all accounts, there have been reports of the neighbors overhearing Anthony repeatedly and angrily calling Kayden—”  
  
  
She had to stop as her jaw set in anger. Her eyes blinked rapidly as she struggled to push the words out of her mouth.  
  
  
“Calling him a faggot.”  
  
  
Willow’s body slowly deflated.  
  
  
“He’s gay.”  
  
  
“That’s for him to say,” Tara replied quickly.  
  
  
“Of course,” Willow nodded, swallowing, “Well, if he is…hopefully he’ll feel safe enough to tell us.”  
  
  
Tara just hung her head and sighed.  
  
  
“I want to collect the boys from school, just in case. I don’t want Kayden to get spooked.”  
  
  
Willow nodded again.  
  
  
“Well, I feigned intestinal distress to get out of work so I can’t really head back. Why don’t I go home and wait for the girls?”  
  
  
“That would be great,” Tara answered, squeezing Willow’s hands.  
  
  
“And we can order in tonight,” Willow suggested.  
  
  
“No, no,” Tara shook her head, “No, I want Kayden to have a home-cooked meal.”  
  
  
“Yes,” Willow replied resolutely, “You’re totally right. What should we cook?”  
  
  
Tara thought about it for a moment.  
  
  
“I’ll make spaghetti and meatballs.”  
  
  
“…and I’ll buy extra napkins,” Willow said with a smile, “Okay. See you at home?”  
  
  
Tara pecked Willow’s lips discreetly.  
  
  
“See you at home.”  
  
  
Willow nodded and started to move off in the opposite direction.  
  
  
“Willow?” Tara called when she was a few feet away and waited for her to turn back, “Thank you.”  
  
  
Willow just smiled.  
  
  
“I don’t need thanks for doing the right thing.”  
  
  
She blew a kiss and turned the corner back toward her office.  
  
  
Tara took a moment to gather herself until a distracted lawyer bumped into her and she had to help him pick up all of his papers. She then checked her watch and quickly sped away to get back to the office building so she could hop in her car and get to the high school before the last class let out.  
  
  
At the high school, JJ smiled and nodded at several girls as he passed through the hallways. He wasn’t as popular as the football players, but a few gazes lingered back.  
  
  
Finally, he spotted who he was waiting for at the freshman lockers.  
  
  
“Yo Kayden,” he called and Kayden looked startled to be addressed.  
  
  
“JJ?” Kayden asked and looked over his shoulder as if another person with his name was standing behind them.  
  
  
“My mom messaged me,” JJ replied as he leaned against the lockers, “Told me to bring you home with me.”  
  
  
Kayden frowned.  
  
  
“Why?”  
  
  
JJ shrugged.  
  
  
“I dunno dude but I am very in need of some snackage, so come with?”  
  
  
Kayden hesitated for a moment, then put his guitar case on his back and silently agreed with a nod. He followed JJ out of the school as JJ waxed lyrical about the techniques he was using to improve his jump shot.  
  
  
Tara was waiting outside and JJ grumbled as he slid open the door to sit in.  
  
  
“Can I drive myself to school again tomorrow? Being picked up by your mom in a _minivan_ is so uncool.”  
  
  
“I can get you a bus pass if you’d like,” Tara replied pointedly and smiled over her shoulder, “Hi Kayden.”  
  
  
Kayden looked uncomfortable as he sat small in the seat.  
  
  
“H-Hi.”  
  
  
Tara glanced at JJ, who was pulling his chunky headphones on and playing music loudly into his ears. Tara looked back to Kayden and lowered her voice.  
  
  
“I know you need to know what’s going on. I’ll explain once we’re home. Everything is okay.”  
  
  
Kayden just looked down at his knees. Tara looked at him sadly, then swatted her hand as best she could against JJ’s leg.  
  
  
“Turn that down if you still want to be able to hear when you’re my age.”  
  
  
“WHAT?!” JJ yelled over the music and Tara wished Willow was in the car to work with the greentooth or whatever it was called and shut those wireless headphones right off.  
  
  
“Turn. It. Down,” she repeated and JJ seemed to get the message because the thrum of music around the car dropped to a dim hum.  
  
  
She pulled away from the curb and smiled at Kayden through the rearview mirror.  
  
  
“You can listen to your own music too if you’d like, Kayden. At an appropriate volume.”  
  
  
Kayden frowned a little and shook his head.  
  
  
“I like this.”  
  
  
Tara realized that she hadn’t seen a phone in Kayden’s hand all weekend and deduced pretty quickly he didn’t have one. She glanced at the radio and turned it up some more on an oldies channel.  
  
  
“You and Willow will get along. She loves Elvis too.”  
  
  
Kayden just looked out the window contemplatively or perhaps forlornly.  
  
  
As Tara turned onto their street she spotted the school bus cruise alongside her and three heads of red or reddish hair running up their driveway. Willow’s car was already there so Tara didn’t hurry in parking them up.  
  
  
“Okay, come on boys,” she said as she stepped out and locked up the minivan.  
  
  
She unlocked and held the front door open for them both. JJ dropped his book bag and headed for the kitchen. Tara smiled at Kayden and nodded for him to do the same.  
  
  
“Hey pipsqueaks!” JJ’s voice carried through the hallway.  
  
  
There was some little girl giggling and Lily pounced on Tara as soon as she saw her through the doorway.  
  
  
“Mom-mom-mom-mom-mom-mom-mom!”  
  
  
“Hi sweeties,” Tara greeted her and Emily as they ran out to say hello, “Did you all have a good day at school?”  
  
  
“Mom!” Lily waved her hand Tara’s face.  
  
  
“I hear you, I see you, sweetheart,” Tara comforted gently.  
  
  
“I came first in the class spelling bee!” Lilly blurted excitedly.   
  
  
“That’s fantastic,” Tara complimented, cupping Lily’s cheeks and kissing her head, “How did you do, Emily?”  
  
  
Lily sighed heavily.  
  
  
“She wouldn’t stand up in front of the class.”  
  
  
“That’s okay,” Tara replied heartily, “I bet you knew all the words.”  
  
  
Emily smiled shyly and nodded quickly. Tara winked at her and Emily stepped up on her toes proudly.  
  
  
Robyn appeared then with a skateboard under one hand and a soccer ball under the other.  
  
  
“I’m out,” she said casually as she walked toward the front door, “Heading parkside.”  
  
  
Tara tapped Robyn’s shoulder pointedly.  
  
  
“Excuse me young lady, that didn’t sound like asking for permission.”  
  
  
Robyn turned back and rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“Mom, I’m ten, _jeez_.”  
  
  
Tara pursed her lips silently.  
  
  
“You can go to the park when your homework is finished.”  
  
  
Robyn’s face set angrily.  
  
  
“Homework is a tool of societal oppression that tries to turn children into parrots instead of human beings with independent thought.”  
  
  
Tara held Robyn’s face in her hands and kissed the top of her head as she had Lily.  
  
  
“I don’t disagree with you but there’s nothing I can do about it until you convince the American education system of that argument.”  
  
  
“Do I hear someone speaking out against homework?” Willow asked as she stepped out of the kitchen, “No child of mine would do such a thing.”  
  
  
Robyn just scowled some more.  
  
  
“Why are you home early?”  
  
  
“For the warm welcome I’m getting,” Willow replied to her and stuck out her tongue before looking over to her wife, “Tara?”  
  
  
“Yes,” Tara nodded to the question not asked, “Kayden?”  
  
  
Kayden slowly appeared; head poking through first like a giraffe but much more timid.  
  
  
“Did you get a snack?” Tara asked gently.  
  
  
“Oh, um, no,” Kayden shook his head, reaching his hand over his shoulder to hold it awkwardly.  
  
  
“I’ll get you one,” Willow offered and made a step toward the kitchen as the girls all ran back inside at the promise of snacks.  
  
  
Tara guided Kayden into the living room and closed the door. Kayden sat on the couch and nervously starting pulling at the skin around his fingernails.  
  
  
“Is someone coming from the group home to collect me?”  
  
  
Tara’s brow creased in a small v as she sat to the side of Kayden in an armchair. She sat forward with her elbows in her lap.  
  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes stayed downcast.  
  
  
“Last time I ran away…they put me in a group home before they put me back with…” he looked up again sharply, “I-I’m not going back to _them_ , am I? A-already?”  
  
  
Tara reached out and put her hand on Kayden’s knee.  
  
  
“Sweetheart, you’re not going anywhere.”  
  
  
Willow came in with a plate and kicked the door closed again behind her. She handed the plate with a sandwich on it to Kayden and slipped him a candy bar from her sleeve.  
  
  
“I had intended to bring you cookies but my daughters savaged them,” she said with an exaggerated sigh, “Here’s a Snickers from my private stash. Tell the others nothing.”  
  
  
She sat on the arm of the chair next to Tara.  
  
  
“Thank you?” Kayden said, his brow furrowing as he tried to gauge what was happening.  
  
  
Tara noticed.  
  
  
“Kayden, we asked to speak to you in private because we want to discuss your situation. Your living situation.”  
  
  
Kayden looked toward Willow.  
  
  
“Are you a social worker too?”  
  
  
Willow shook her head.  
  
  
“No, I work with the FBI as an analyst.”  
  
  
This did nothing to aid Kayden’s confusion. Tara took lead.  
  
  
“First Kayden, I have to tell you, an official investigation has been launched into your uncle’s behavior and conduct toward you. It should have been done long ago,” she said apologetically, “You’ve been removed from their custody and placed with a family.”  
  
  
Both of Kayden’s eyebrows rose in surprise.  
  
  
“A family? Not a group home?”  
  
  
Tara smiled and nodded.  
  
  
“That’s right.”  
  
  
“We hope you’ll like them,” Willow added in eagerly, “The other kids are a bit nuts but the moms are great!”  
  
  
Kayden blinked heavily.  
  
  
“I’m confused.”  
  
  
“Do you want to come live with us?” Tara cut to the chase.  
  
  
“I sure hope so, we just spent the whole morning convincing a judge to let us have you,” Willow replied with a chuckle.  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara chastised softly, “Kayden, we have been given custody while we proceed with an official foster application, but if our house isn’t where you want to be—”  
  
  
“Here?” Kayden interrupted, his cheeks flushing with the new rush of blood from his thumping heart, “I-I get to stay here?”  
  
  
“If you want to,” Tara smiled.  
  
  
Kayden’s hand trembled around the plate.  
  
  
“Why?”  
  
  
“We think you’re a great kid,” Willow said, helpfully this time.  
  
  
“And you found your way to us,” Tara added, holding her hand out for Willow to take, “In this house, we trust anyone that finds their way here.”  
  
  
They shared a smile and looked back at Kayden together.  
  
  
“Do you want to stay?”  
  
  
Kayden could only nod quickly and wiped his sleeve over his eyes.  
  
  
“Can we give you a hug?” Willow asked and got the same response.  
  
  
They sat either side of him and embraced from each side. Tara stopped Willow from putting an arm on the back at the last minute. Willow looked at her confused for a moment, then remembered. She gulped, realizing the solemnity of the situation and hugged a bit tighter, though only in non-injured areas.  
  
  
“You’ll meet your new social worker tomorrow,” Tara said when they pulled back.  
  
  
“You aren’t my social worker?” Kayden asked with a worried eyebrow raise.  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“I can’t be your social worker and foster parent.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Kayden replied sadly.  
  
  
“But I know the guy you’ll be working with. He’s young and he’s good. He’ll help you settle here alongside us,” she promised softly, “He’ll have to bring you for a medical tomorrow and have quite a long chat.”  
  
  
Kayden nodded.  
  
  
“Yeah…I’ve done this before.”  
  
  
“But tonight, you don’t have to do anything,” Tara reassured, then threw him a sly wink, “Except your homework.”  
  
  
Willow nodded quickly.  
  
  
“And our guest room is less guest-friendly and more dust-friendly so you’ll have to sleep on JJ’s couch until the weekend and we can get some new furniture for it.”  
  
  
“I-I don’t mind sleeping on the couch,” Kayden offered somewhat desperately, “I can sleep on the floor if I’m in the way.”  
  
  
“You’re not sleeping on the floor, Kayden,” Tara said, looking him straight in the eye, “It’s about time we made that room habitable.”  
  
  
Kayden’s whole face grew surprised.  
  
  
“A whole room?”  
  
  
“A whole room, sweetie,” Tara nodded with a sad glint in her eye.  
  
  
Kayden took a moment to take it all in. He looked between them unsurely.  
  
  
“Can I ask something?”  
  
  
“Of course,” Tara nodded.  
  
  
Kayden slowly frowned.  
  
  
“Are you guys, like, married?”  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrows shot up.  
  
  
“Uhhh…”  
  
  
She looked over the fireplace where their wedding portrait hung and Kayden followed her eyes to it. He blinked rapidly.  
  
  
“But you’re so normal.”  
  
  
“I’m insulted you would even suggest it,” Willow replied with mock-haughtiness.  
  
  
Tara gave her a look but was smiling too.  
  
  
“Have you ever known a family with two moms or two dads before?” she asked Kayden carefully and got a shake of her head back, “That’s okay. It’s a new thing for a lot of people.”  
  
  
“But like you said, we really are pretty normal,” Willow added easily, “We just have a Mom and a Momma instead of a Mom and a Dad.”  
  
  
“You can ask us any questions you have about it,” Tara continued quickly, “It’s very okay to ask questions.”  
  
  
Kayden thought about it for a moment.  
  
  
“I don’t have any questions,” he said evenly, “Except…am I just here now? I just get to stay?”  
  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
  
“Someone will be sent to collect anything from the other house.”  
  
  
Kayden shook his head.  
  
  
“Everything is in my case. There’s nothing left there that’s mine.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes creased sadly but she used all of her professional training not to let it show.  
  
  
“Well then, we’re due a little trip to the mall,” she said easily, “If you’re not too embarrassed to be seen with me, unlike my other son.”  
  
  
Kayden pulled at the end of his sleeve.  
  
  
“I’m not embarrassed.”  
  
  
Willow rubbed Tara’s back; a comfort for them both.  
  
  
“In that case, I’ll go get the other kids and we’ll tell them.”  
  
  
“Let him eat his sandwich,” Tara advised softly.  
  
  
“Of course,” Willow agreed, “I’ll go make sure the girls haven’t choked on the cookie wrappers trying to find a crumb.”  
  
  
She squeezed Tara’s thigh as she stood and left them alone.  
  
  
“I know it’s a lot,” Tara said as Kayden slowly ate.  
  
  
“No, it’s really good,” Kayden replied before he took another big bite.  
  
  
Tara’s lips sloped up on one side.  
  
  
“I didn’t mean the sandwich.”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes flickered toward Tara.  
  
  
“I know.”  
  
  
Tara’s smile spread out across her face.  
  
  
When Kayden was finished, Tara gathered everyone back in the living room and noted they were going to need a few more bean bags to strew about.  
  
  
“Can we make this quick?” Robyn asked, flicking some of her strawberry-blonde hair over her shoulder, “I wanna play ball.”  
  
  
JJ perched on the arm of the sofa and tapped his hands against it.  
  
  
“Actually, I kinda want to go shoot some hoops too.”  
  
  
“Stop being so rude, both of you,” Willow scolded with a frown, “We need to talk to you.”  
  
  
“I didn’t do it!” both Robyn and Lily shouted at the same time.  
  
  
Tara noticed Emily’s eyes start to flit around nervously and reached over to rub her arm.  
  
  
“Everything’s okay, Emmy.”  
  
  
“Everything is _fine_ ,” Willow added, sitting right by Tara again, “We just have something to tell you.”  
  
  
Kayden’s palms started to rub together nervously.  
  
  
“Well, you see,” Willow continued, smiling at him reassuringly, “You all seemed to enjoy having Kayden stay with us so much this weekend that we’ve asked if he’d like to live with us permanently. And he said he would. So…here he is.”  
  
  
She finished off a bite lamely but everyone else was too busy in their own reaction to notice.  
  
  
JJ’s eyebrows rose on his face while Robyn’s eyes shot toward Kayden quizzically.  
  
  
“Don’t your parents want you?”  
  
  
“Robyn Ruth,” Tara chided and looked at Kayden apologetically.  
  
  
“I don’t have a mom and dad,” Kayden interjected with a soft shoulder shrug.  
  
  
“Sorry,” Robyn said, holding her hands up defensively, “I didn’t know. Hey, will you teach me guitar for real?”  
  
  
“Uh…” Kayden started to reply but couldn’t before Lily started pulling at his shirt.  
  
  
“Will you be the candle from Beauty and the Beast?!”  
  
  
Emily shyly poked his shoulder.  
  
  
“Can I see your sketchpad again?”  
  
  
Above them all, JJ slowly nodded with a sly smile to himself.  
  
  
“Cool,” he said evenly, nudging Kayden’s shoulder affectionately, “Never thought I’d have to share my bedroom having all sisters but hey…”  
  
  
“Just for a few more nights until we can fix up the other bedroom,” Tara promised.  
  
  
JJ’s eyes suddenly lit up. That was the best possible scenario.  
  
  
“We got the best rooms in the house, man.”  
  
  
The door creaked open from its position ajar and Woofy came in with his tail wagging. He put his paws in Kayden’s lap, then appeared to smile and leaped up to lick his face.  
  
  
Kayden started laughing, the first any of them had heard him do.  
  
  
“Good boy,” he said, patting Woofy’s head and scratching his ears, “Never had a dog before.”  
  
  
“You won the dog lottery,” JJ replied, also scratching Woofy between the ears, “Woofs is the best.”  
  
  
Woofy barked and everyone laughed this time; a small relief from the emotion.  
  
  
“Kayden, we only have three rules here,” Tara explained while keeping his gaze, “1) You respect everyone else’s space and we’ll respect yours. 2) If there’s a problem, you come to us and 3) We eat together every night. Is all that okay with you?”  
  
  
Kayden nodded silently and a brief glimpse of tears in his eyes showed why.  
  
  
“Okay, everyone,” Willow said quickly, “You’re free to bounce your respective balls.”  
  
  
She winced at her wording and Tara winced along with her, throwing her a sidelong glance.  
  
  
“Dinner is at 6.”  
  
  
Everyone disbanded and Kayden was pulled in all directions.  
  
  
“Kayden is not a doll!” Willow called after them, “Let him do what he wants.”  
  
  
She closed the door over again, albeit not fully, and breathed a long breath as she looked at Tara.  
  
  
“How stable is all of this? I’m worried he’ll settle in and then yoink.”  
  
  
“He was never adopted, so it’s much easier legal situation,” Tara replied easily.  
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
“Why didn’t they adopt him if he’s been with them for years?”  
  
  
“They’d stop getting paid,” Tara replied sadly.  
  
  
Willow jaw tensed.  
  
  
“Will the state press charges?”  
  
  
“Probably not,” Tara shook her head.  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrows shot up.  
  
  
“For real?”  
  
  
Tara looked dejected.  
  
  
“It would expose the department’s failures. They’ll put a black mark against his name but he’ll be free to parent any natal children he has in the future.”  
  
  
Willow slowly shook her head and approached Tara, putting her arms around her wife’s shoulders.  
  
  
“You are a true superhero.”  
  
  
“No, I’m not,” Tara shook her head, “I just wish I could do more.”  
  
  
Willow pecked Tara’s lips.  
  
  
“It’s not physically possible for you to do more.”  
  
  
Tara nuzzled Willow’s nose.  
  
  
“Nothing without my sidekick.”  
  
  
Willow grinned.  
  
  
“Long as I’m not your side _chick_.”  
  
  
She pressed her lips against Tara’s and lingered.  
  
  
Then did it again and again and again.  
  
  
In the brief slit of the open door, Kayden looked in at them doing it.  
  
  
JJ passed by with his water bottle refreshed and rolled his eyes as he glanced in the same direction.  
  
  
“Ugh. Yeah. They do that a lot,” he scoffed and pulled at Kayden’s t-shirt, “You’ll learn to ignore it. Hey, let’s go upstairs before we get pulled into helping with long division or something.”  
  
  
Kayden followed and passed by Lily and Emily in their bedroom on the way, scribbling in their respective workbooks.  
  
  
“Emily you’re doing it wrong!”  
  
  
“I-I don’t think I am, Lily,” Emily’s confused voice floated out.  
  
  
Lily sighed dramatically.  
  
  
“Just let me do it!”  
  
  
“I-It’s my homework,” Emily protested, and then their voices faded to a muffle.  
  
  
Up in JJ’s room, he watched Robyn skate by while trying to head the soccer ball outside the window.  
  
  
“Sorry about all of the rules stuff,” JJ said as he sat on his bed and changed his sneakers.  
  
  
Kayden pulled his attention away and looked at JJ with his brow furrowed.  
  
  
“Are you kidding?” he asked, sitting on the couch that was his current bed and holding one of its cushions against his body, “I would have killed for those rules in my old place.”  
  
  
JJ tried to seem casual as he tied his laces.  
  
  
“Where’d you come from, man?”  
  
  
Kayden looked away.  
  
  
“A bad place.”  
  
  
JJ noted the tone and jumped up.  
  
  
“Well, I’m glad you’re here. Need some more testosterone around here. Me and Woofs can only carry so much.”  
  
  
Woofy, who had promptly followed them up when the girls disbanded, came up to sit diligently at JJ’s feet.  
  
  
“Hey, you want to see his tricks?”  
  
  
“Sure,” Kayden replied, smiling again.  
  
  
JJ grinned.  
  
  
“I can make him jump on my shoulders.”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes widened.  
  
  
“No way.”  
  
  
“Hey, Woofy!” JJ called down to him and jumped with his back arched and knees bent, “Piggyback!”  
  
  
Woofy promptly leaped onto JJ’s back with his paws over JJ’s shoulders.  
  
  
Kayden beamed at the sight.  
  
  
“Cool!”  
  
  
“You can teach him one if you want,” JJ offered and had Woofy jump down again.  
  
  
Kayden shrugged one shoulder.  
  
  
“I don’t know any.”  
  
  
“I’ll show you!” JJ offered eagerly.  
  
  
Kayden smiled.  
  
  
“Cool. Thanks.”  
  
  
“No problem,” JJ shrugged one shoulder, “It can be our boys' club. I already have one with my cousin Alex and best friend Thomas. They won’t mind you joining.”  
  
  
“You have cousins?” Kayden asked, reaching across to hold his own arm.  
  
  
“Alex is the only other guy, apart from Liam but he’s just little still,” JJ explained, “You’ll meet them all soon, probably.”  
  
  
Kayden bit his lip contemplatively.  
  
  
“Do your parents, your…your moms do this a lot?”  
  
  
“Do what?” JJ asked in confusion.  
  
  
“Foster kids?” Kayden clarified.  
  
  
“Uh, no,” JJ chuckled, “You’re the first.”  
  
  
Kayden’s face slowly spread in surprise.  
  
  
“I am?”  
  
  
“I mean they adopted me as a baby, but yeah,” JJ nodded easily, “I’m gonna go shoot some hoops. You wanna come?”  
  
  
Kayden scratched his own neck.  
  
  
“I don’t really play…sports.”  
  
  
JJ looked out the window to the driveway that housed his hoop and back to Kayden.  
  
  
“Wanna see Woofy spin the basketball on his nose?”  
  
  
Kayden nodded slowly.  
  
  
“Sure.”  
  
  
JJ grabbed his basketball and gestured for Kayden to follow.  
  
  
“C’mon bro.”  
  
  
Kayden smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

Tara pressed print on the reports she needed to sign and swung her chair around to head toward the printing room.  
  
  
She swiped her ID to release the pages and as she waited for them to spit out, another woman walked into the room, looking through her own report.  
  
  
Tara crossed her arms lightly at her chest.  
  
  
“Alice.”  
  
  
Alice looked up in surprise.  
  
  
“Tara. Just came to grab new staples.”  
  
  
She blinked several times and put her folder by her side. There was a bit of an awkward lull.  
  
  
“Ella said she saw you all at park…with Jesse.”  
  
  
Tara nodded cordially.  
  
  
“Yes. She and Robyn ran off to the skate park so I only saw her for a second. Getting so tall. She’ll be at the twins' birthday, I hope.”  
  
  
Alice nodded quickly.  
  
  
“Yes, yes of course. Jesse will drop her off,” she replied and there was another one of those lulls, “So…how are you?”  
  
  
“I’m pretty good, actually,” Tara answered easily, “How are you doing? How’s…Dennis?”  
  
  
Alice reached across and rubbed her opposite arm awkwardly.  
  
  
“Not on the scene anymore.”  
  
  
Tara shuffled from one foot to the other.  
  
  
“Oh. I’m very sorry.”  
  
  
“I’m not. He was a snob,” Alice replied with a candid sneer, “Finally realizing I’ve been a bit of a snob. And lost a great man for it.”  
  
  
Tara frowned as Alice’s sorrowful gaze met Tara’s.  
  
  
“And some friends.”  
  
  
Tara opened her mouth to speak but closed it again unsurely. Alice looked down bashfully.  
  
  
“Not the time for my personal woes,” she said self-deprecatingly then glanced at Tara with an arched eyebrow, “…but there’s some rumors going around the office.”  
  
  
Tara nodded evenly.  
  
  
“I’d guessed that would happen.”  
  
  
“Is it true?” Alice asked, though not scandalously, “You’re adopting another charge?”  
  
  
“We’re fostering him,” Tara corrected, “But that could be an option down the line. At his age, it will be his choice if he’d like that or not. We’re just focusing on the immediate future right now.”  
  
  
“Of course,” Alice replied quickly and looked at Tara as genuinely as she ever had since the day she found out Tara was to become her boss and those bitter lines had appeared on her face, “I’ve got your back.”  
  
  
“Thank you, Alice,” Tara replied sincerely and watched as she grabbed the staples she needed and turned to leave, “Alice?”  
  
  
Alice turned back and Tara extended some sincerity.  
  
  
“Would you like to grab a glass of wine this weekend?”  
  
  
Alice stalled for a moment.  
  
  
“I’ve been laying off the wine lately,” she admitted.  
  
  
Tara nodded quickly.  
  
  
“Cup of coffee?”  
  
  
Alice smile brightened up her face and was clear of any lines of bitter concern that had resided there before.  
  
  
“I would love to get some coffee.”  
  
  
Tara smiled softly.  
  
  
“Liam is coming to us for the day on Saturday and I have to bring Kayden to pick out his bedroom furniture on Sunday. But I’m around Friday.”  
  
  
“Jesse picks Ella up from school on a Friday,” Alice replied in a soft tone, “So that works great.”  
  
  
“See you then,” Tara smiled and Alice left with a similar one on her face.  
  
  
As Tara stopped to finally sort her paperwork, another person entered the room.  
  
  
“Hey Brandon,” Tara greeted warmly.  
  
  
Brandon stepped back like Tara was contagious or something.  
  
  
“Uh…I don’t think we’re supposed to be speaking.”  
  
  
Tara looked up and grinned wryly.  
  
  
“Only about Kayden’s case. We’re allowed to say hello.”  
  
  
Brandon let his arms fall by his side.  
  
  
“Right.”  
  
  
Tara sensed his nervousness and offered him an arm squeeze of encouragement.  
  
  
“You’ve got this.”  
  
  
Brandon felt comforted by Tara’s presence.  
  
  
“It’s hard since Josh and I got put on separate teams,” he said, then rolled his eyes, “Which I realize sounds pathetic.”  
  
  
“You are more than capable of taking on any case you’re given,” Tara reassured, “I’ve watched you grow from a college student who didn’t know a thing into a caseworker with multiple charges under his belt. You do a great job, even if you’re not on my team anymore.”  
  
  
Brandon chuckled.  
  
  
“Miss you, boss,” he said affectionately, “What can I say, Ross just doesn’t smell as good during team meetings.”  
  
  
Tara threw him a sly wink.  
  
  
“But he’s well-seasoned and wise so listen to him.”  
  
  
Brandon nodded and rolled up on his toes.  
  
  
“Not to be insubordinate…”  
  
  
“Oh, now you decide not to be insubordinate?” Tara joked with him, “Not like the time you put a whoopee cushion under my chair.”  
  
  
Brandon blushed.  
  
  
“Adolescent prank?”  
  
  
“You were in graduate school,” Tara shot back, shaking her head, “Even my seven-year-old at the time said it was ‘kiddie stuff’.”  
  
  
“It was so dumb,” Brandon admitted, laughing, “Thank you for giving me a chance.”  
  
  
His nose scrunched.  
  
  
“A lot of chances.”  
  
  
“I would hope someone would do the same for my son if they saw the potential in him that I saw in you,” Tara replied sincerely and chuckled, “Now I better get out of here before I’m accused of collusion.”  
  
  
Brandon lifted his hand in a wave and Tara returned to her desk to file what needed to be filed.  
  
  
She stopped for a moment to take a breath and smiled.  
  


* * *

  
“Alice McNally?”  
  
  
Willow paused from buttoning up her pajama top and frowned at her own words.  
  
  
“Kenter. Whatever she’s going by these days.”  
  
  
“Uh-huh,” Tara nodded as she ran a brush through her hair, “Is that an issue?”  
  
  
“No, no,” Willow shook her head, “She just hasn’t been around in a while.”  
  
  
“Her choice, really,” Tara answered non-committal.  
  
  
“I know that. And I know you tried,” Willow answered, coming up behind Tara to embrace her, “So I’m just wondering what’s changed? Last I knew she was parading around with Mr. Pinkie Pretentious and turning green with envy that you dared be offered a job above her.”  
  
  
“And I think she’s realized she’s lost everyone in her life because of it,” Tara replied, settling her hands where Willow’s were crossed at her stomach.  
  
  
Willow dropped a kiss on Tara’s neck and held her hands up as she walked away.  
  
  
“All I’m saying is I’m still team Jesse.”  
  
  
“We’re all team Jesse,” Tara answered clearly, “But we can be team Alice too. They’ve worked it out for Ella’s sake. She was a huge help to me starting my career, don’t forget.”  
  
  
“You don’t owe her,” Willow countered.  
  
  
“No, but I like her,” Tara replied as she pulled up the sheet and slipped under it, “At least, who she was before she…”  
  
  
“Went all mid-life-crisis-narcissistic-Barbie on everyone?” Willow asked, getting in bed at the other side.  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow and Willow held her hands up again.  
  
  
“If she’s really changed…or changed back…then that’s great. But she can’t just drop us all and think she’ll be welcomed back like nothing happened.”  
  
  
Tara found Willow’s hand in the sheets.  
  
  
“No one is asking you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”  
  
  
Willow rolled herself onto her side.  
  
  
“What about asking me to do things I _am_ comfortable?” she asked, letting her finger follow the curve of Tara’s neckline, “Because I find this…pretty comfortable.”  
  
  
She kissed Tara’s collarbone.  
  
  
“And this…”  
  
  
She kissed lower.  
  
  
“And this…”  
  
  
And lower.  
  
  
“And this…”  
  


* * *

  
Tara approached the exit of her work building where Alice was standing in her scarf and jacket with her hands in her pockets.  
  
  
“You ready?”  
  
  
Alice smiled softly.  
  
  
“Yes. Do you have anywhere in mind?”  
  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
  
“Willow and I meet up for lunch sometimes in a place just a couple of blocks away. Great coffee. Even better cannoli.”  
  
  
“That sounds like heaven,” Alice smiled, somewhat nervously.  
  
  
Tara brought her to the spot she’d met Willow right at the beginning of that week to discuss taking in Kayden. It felt like months ago. Kayden had slotted in so easily it was like he had always been there, though Tara did have to make sure the girls left him alone when he’d come back from his time with Brandon.  
  
  
They didn’t understand the intricacies of why he came to stay with him nor how trying a meeting with your social worker can be. To his credit, he was never short with them, just a bit quiet and withdrawn. Tara was glad they would finally be giving him his own space tomorrow.  
  
  
They ordered coffees and a cannoli to share and picked out the only seat left in the place, right in the corner.  
  
  
Tara lifted her circular mug and took a long sip of mostly foam from her latte until she hit the caffeine she craved.  
  
  
Alice did much the same and was even slower to return her cup to its saucer. She nervously sloshed it from side to side.  
  
  
“It’s been a while since I did something like this with anyone but Dennis,” she admitted, swallowing softly, “Or Ella of course. But she says I’m not as fun as Daddy.”  
  
  
Tara watched lines of insecurity pepper Alice’s face. It was never a trait she had associated with her before.  
  
  
“What happened?” she asked softly, “Suddenly you and Jesse were getting divorced and we barely heard from you anymore. Then you stopped showing up at all.”  
  
  
Alice’s hands joined together and her arms bent out in front of her; the cushion to which she promptly dropped her head. She slowly sat back up and sighed.  
  
  
“Jesse and I were fighting. It wasn’t even that bad but I got it in my head that everything that was wrong in my life was because Jesse likes sports and beer instead of art and wine and culture. I thought I deserved better. And then you got promoted and I thought I deserved your job. I thought I deserved more. I couldn’t even see everything that I had.”  
  
  
Her lips pursed together so much they turned white.  
  
  
“I thought I was better than all of you and so I pushed you all away. Told myself I was living my perfect life. Then Denis cheated on me and I woke up one morning alone in bed with my daughter across town with her father having a better time than she has with me and I realized I’d thrown everything away for nothing.”  
  
  
Tara’s hand gently covered Alice’s.  
  
  
“I’m so sorry, Al. That must have been really tough.”  
  
  
Alice’s eyes filled with tears.  
  
  
“I don’t deserve your sympathy.”  
  
  
Tara squeezed.  
  
  
“Sure you do.”  
  
  
Alice laughed; a little bitter but mostly just sad.  
  
  
“I’ve missed you, Tara,” she admitted, catching the corner of her eye with her sleeve, “I know I never gelled with the group as well as the rest of you…but you were still _my group_.”  
  
  
“I can’t speak for the group,” Tara nodded evenly, “But you’re still _my friend_.”  
  
  
Alice looked away and sniffled. As she did so, she spotted a few sets of eyes quickly look away. She looked up to Tara quizzically.  
  
  
“Do the wait staff keep staring at us?”  
  
  
Tara glanced around and spotted the same thing Alice had. Her lips smirked on one side and she spooned a piece of cannoli off to present to Alice provocatively.  
  
  
“I think they think that I’m cheating on Willow.”  
  
  
Alice laughed again but it was much more boisterous albeit letting out a few tears. She accepted the offering on the spoon and looked as two wait staff whispered scandalously.  
  
  
She looked back to her friend with the gratitude and sincerity she’d owed her for a long time now.  
  
  
“Tara thank you…for making some time for me.”  
  
  
“I was always here, Al,” Tara replied softly.  
  
  
Alice nodded.  
  
  
“I know,” she said sadly, “I wish I’d realized that sooner.”  
  
  
Tara raised her mug and smiled.  
  
  
“To second chances.”  
  
  
Alice matched her in action and expression.  
  
  
“To second chances.”  
  


* * *

  
“I’m gonna catch you…I’m gonna catch you!”  
  
  
Liam giggled ferociously behind his pacifier as he toddle-ran around the coffee table in his not-even-three-foot frame.  
  
  
He was so busy looking behind to see if Willow was close to catching him that he didn’t spot Tara coming into the room and plucking him up with kicking legs below him.  
  
  
“I got you!”  
  
  
Liam threw his head back and laughed heartily, his pacifier dropping out and to the floor, but he just kept laughing.  
  
  
“Oops, binky bugs!” Willow said, picking it up from the floor, “I got it.”  
  
  
She kissed Tara’s cheek as she passed, who threw Liam up in the air and caught him to nuzzle their noses together.  
  
  
“I love you, Liam. Aunty Tara loves you.”  
  
  
In the hallway, Willow accidentally crashed into Robyn as she came sliding down the handrail and jumped off without care for her surroundings.  
  
  
“Bean, what have we taught you about looking before you leap?” Willow said in exasperation.  
  
  
“You didn’t, Tigger did,” Robyn replied and stuck out her tongue as she picked up the pacifier Willow had dropped again, “These things are stupid and full of plastic.”  
  
  
Willow cackled, loudly.  
  
  
“If you only knew the terror we went through trying to get you off one of those things.”  
  
  
“As if,” Robyn scoffed, pushing the pacifier back into Willow’s palm.  
  
  
“Entirely,” Willow replied with a sure nod of her head.  
  
  
“You’re probably thinking of Emily,” Robyn brushed off, turning her face away haughtily.  
  
  
Willow put her hands on Robyn’s head and kissed her zigzag parting.  
  
  
“I’m most certainly thinking of you, precious daughter.”  
  
  
“Gross,” Robyn pushed Willow off and grabbed her skateboard, “I’m gonna go give the street some character.”  
  
  
She left and Willow smiled after her.  
  
  
“Tiny Tara,” she said and chuckled to herself, “Angry Tiny Tara.”  
  
  
She washed the pacifier and brought it back but Liam didn’t seem to miss it. He laughed and laughed with Tara as she sat with him on the sofa and dropped him between her knees.  
  
  
“Takes after his Daddy,” Willow commented sarcastically with a wry smile for Tara as she sat between them.  
  
  
“Dah-dee,” Liam said brightly, “Dah-dee bite!”  
  
  
Willow shook her head in Tara’s direction.  
  
  
“I told Buffy to move his crib out of their bedroom…”  
  
  
She reached out to tickle Liam’s belly.  
  
  
“Hey, Liamy…who wants to get into our jammies?!”  
  
  
Liam started to pout, making his green eyes wide and brown hair flop into them.  
  
  
Willow found herself mirroring his sad look but tried to perk herself up again. She lifted him up into the air.  
  
  
“Who…wants to fly to get into our jammies?!”  
  
  
She jumped up and began to fly him out of the room and up the stairs, to much renewed giggling.  
  
  
They passed by Kayden coming down the stairs, whom Liam flew right over and elicited smiles from them both.  
  
  
Tara spotted him loitering in the doorway as she walked around the coffee table to straighten everything up after Liam’s clumsy, wayward hands had gone wild.  
  
  
“Hey Kayden,” she greeted easily, “Been looking through that catalog I gave you?”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged his shoulder and looked down so his messy hair all fell into his eyes, not unlike Liam.  
  
  
“Kinda.”  
  
  
Tara smiled and faced her attention toward him.  
  
  
“What did you see?”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged again. He did that a lot.  
  
  
“You should just get whatever’s cheapest.”  
  
  
Tara nodded slowly.  
  
  
“Well, something doesn’t have to be expensive to be nice. But you’ll have to live in it, so you should like it too.”  
  
  
Kayden just looked down again.  
  
  
Tara paused. She looked at Kayden contemplatively, then sat back on the couch and patted the spot beside her.  
  
  
“I think we should have a chat.”  
  
  
Kayden obliged, swinging his body rhythmically off the door and over to sit.  
  
  
Tara sat back casually but made sure her gaze was received.  
  
  
“I think you feel like we shouldn’t spend money on your room because you don’t want to be a bother. And you probably think that you think that because you’re scared we’ll put you back in the system.”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes widened and his hands started to rub together nervously. Tara put her hand over his shoulder and pat-pat-pat it as she had on her babies’ butts when they were fussy.  
  
  
“But I think really you think that because you don’t think you’re worth it.”  
  
  
Kayden froze. Tara smiled sadly.  
  
  
“And that’s because people have made you believe that,” she said, swallowing deeply at the injustice, “Just like someone did that to me.”  
  
  
Kayden’s head flew sharply toward Tara. His eyes took a bit longer to catch up, but they did.  
  
  
“Wait…oh. Was it…?”  
  
  
“My father,” Tara nodded, having to take a deep breath to not let some of those overwhelming feelings of her youth coming back up.  
  
  
Kayden immediately bristled.  
  
  
“Was it ‘cause,” he asked, his gaze moving away skittishly, “You know, you…”  
  
  
Both knees bounced uncomfortably.  
  
  
“With Willow and stuff?”  
  
  
“Oh,” Tara replied, shaking her head softly, “No. He didn’t know that. At least not when I was growing up.”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes flit toward Tara.  
  
  
“Why?”  
  
  
“I spent a long time asking myself the same question,” Tara smiled sadly, “Until I finally realized that it was nothing to do with me. They were his reasons. And his demons. And I wasn’t responsible for them.”  
  
  
“Where is he now?”  
  
  
Tara pursed her lips cautiously. She wanted to be honest but their children didn’t know of that ‘grandfather’; he didn’t even deserve the title in her mind.  
  
  
“Left,” Tara answered eventually, “A while back.”  
  
  
Kayden’s head fell down between his shoulders.  
  
  
“Tony’s not going anywhere.”  
  
  
“He’s stuck,” Tara replied with a convincing nod of her head, “You’re the one who’s moving forward.”  
  
  
Kayden took a minute, then slapped one hand against the other.  
  
  
“Do I have to go to Dr. Carter next week?”  
  
  
“Do you not like her?” Tara asked gently.  
  
  
Kayden did that shoulder shrug again.  
  
  
“She’s alright,” he said, scratching under his ear, “I just feel dumb going there.”  
  
  
“I go to therapy, you know,” Tara volunteered easily, “And Willow and I go together sometimes. It helps us. And we don’t have to be fighting or anything to find it helpful, it’s just good to make sure we’re dealing with all of our emotions healthily.”  
  
  
She finished with such pep that Kayden couldn’t help but smile.  
  
  
“I guess I could see him again.”  
  
  
Tara leaned in and pressed a kiss on the side of Kayden’s forehead.  
  
  
“Come to me if you ever need to talk,” she requested softly, “Willow too. She studied psychology, you know. She doesn’t practice but she’s good at burrowing out those brain worms, as she calls them. Those little thoughts that wiggle in there and won’t let go.”  
  
  
She smiled thinking of Willow and Kayden watched the joy brighten on her face quizzically. He looked away again and reached behind to scratch an itchy spot on one of the healing cuts on his back.  
  
  
Tara watched the way his face rippled with discomfort as he moved.  
  
  
“Kayden, do you need me to put some salve on your back?”  
  
  
Kayden’s brow furrowed in Tara’s direction.  
  
  
“What’s that?”  
  
  
Tara’s heart broke but she didn’t let it show.  
  
  
“Just some ointment. It helps everything heal and feel a little better.”  
  
  
Kayden offered a fleeting glance, which Tara took as acceptance. She stood up and went into the laundry room where there was a shelf with a first aid kit. She took out the salve and brought it back to the living room, where she closed and locked the door.  
  
  
“No one will walk in, don’t worry.”  
  
  
She sat back where she had been and showed Kayden what the salve looked like. He slowly pulled his t-shirt up from so his back was exposed and Tara gently rubbed the ointment in as she had at various times in various places for all of her children.  
  
  
Kayden was tense for a few moments, but he slowly relaxed under the loving touch.  
  
  
“That feels nice,” he admitted, then after another beat continued quietly, “They had a rug with a guitar on it.”  
  
  
He paused.  
  
  
“In the catalog.”  
  
  
“Yeah?” Tara smiled easily, “You liked it?”  
  
  
“Yeah, it was cool,” Kayden admitted on an exhale.  
  
  
“We’ll put it on the list,” Tara replied brightly, “See anything else?”  
  
  
Kayden slowly smiled.  
  


* * *

  
Willow pushed her head into the living room where Tara was holding a sleeping Liam sprawled across her lap, sucking on his pacifier.  
  
  
“Hey, I need to pop out,” she whispered.  
  
  
“Convenient when they’re just starting to put the furniture together,” Tara replied quietly as she looked over with a wry smile.  
  
  
“Oh, and what are you, the human blankie, doing to help?” Willow replied, raising her chin with faux-haughtiness.  
  
  
Tara rolled her eyes playfully and held her hand above Liam’s pudgy red cheek.  
  
  
“Sometimes I wished we’d had another.”  
  
  
Willow moved over and sat on the arm of the seat beside Tara. She gently rubbed Tara’s upper arm, far enough away from Liam so as not to wake him.  
  
  
“I know it was hard for you. Having the hysterectomy so young. But we really couldn’t have handled another little one.”  
  
  
Tara just nodded. It wasn’t like she’d ever even asked Willow to carry again for them, either.  
  
  
“You’re right. We couldn’t have handled another baby.”  
  
  
Willow squeezed Tara’s arm.  
  
  
“I’m sorry you feel that way though.”  
  
  
Tara smiled softly.  
  
  
“It’s funny,” she said, her brow creasing as if she was confused by her own words, “I was sitting here looking at Liam sleeping…and I don’t feel the same sense of missing out as I have before. I don’t know why that peace has come over me all of a sudden.”  
  
  
“I’m glad it has,” Willow replied and watched Tara watch Liam with a serene smile on her face, “I really do have to go out for 30 minutes though.”  
  
  
Tara looked up and quickly nodded.  
  
  
“Yes, of course. Will you pick up some napkins for dinner? I’m just going to put the food on the table and let everyone help themselves.”  
  
  
“Have you made enough for a Buffy-sized appetite?” Willow asked with an arched eyebrow, “Keeping in mind that her _not-even-two-year-old son_ ate as much as JJ did last night.”  
  
  
Tara smiled softly.  
  
  
“You can call my crockpot the never-ending bowl of deliciousness.”  
  
  
“Oh, I do,” Willow grinned, “Nightly.”  
  
  
Tara pushed Willow’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Go. Gimme a kiss.”  
  
  
Tara turned her head so Willow could peck her lips.  
  
  
“Love you,” Willow said as she pulled back.  
  
  
“Love you,” Tara answered, “Check on the girls on the way out?”  
  
  
“Sure,” Willow smiled and slid off the couch to grab her purse and head outside.  
  
  
On the front lawn, Emily was lying on a blanket Tara had put out there earlier to have a picnic with them all and Liam. She was doodling in a sketchbook that she’d asked for after Kayden showed her his. She was happy and quiet, in stark contrast to her two sisters who were tussling right there in the grass.  
  
  
“Hey, HEY!” Willow called as she came over to pull them apart, “Do NOT kick your sister!”  
  
  
Robyn fell off to the side in a huff.  
  
  
“I wasn’t kicking her,” she protested, sticking her tongue out at Lily when Willow’s back was turned, “I was loving her with my foot.”  
  
  
Willow sighed and held her arms a foot apart between them.  
  
  
“Just break it up, okay?” she said with a sternly arched eyebrow, then looked across the lawn, “Emmy, you good?”  
  
  
Emily looked up, readjusted her glasses, and nodded before burying her head with her pencils again.  
  
  
Willow gave Robyn and Lily a futile disciplinary look; she knew they’d be back at it as soon as she was gone again.  
  
  
Inside, Tara heard the car pull out of the driveway then just minutes later she heard footsteps on the stairs. Buffy walked into the living room and kneeled down to brush her hand against Liam’s soft hair.  
  
  
“I do make good baby,” she said with a satisfied sigh and smiled up at Tara, “Just checking in.”  
  
  
“He’s been an Angel. Pardon the pun,” Tara replied with a kind smile, “Thank you so much for helping out.”  
  
  
Buffy shook her head with a grin.  
  
  
“I lug things, you change diapers. I know which end of the deal I’m on,” she quipped as she stood and put her hands on her hips, “So, I have to ask.”  
  
  
She quirked an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Do you use your job as a front to find new sons?”  
  
  
“Because I’ve done it twice in sixteen years,” Tara laughed with a self-deprecating roll of her eyes.  
  
  
“Twice more than most people,” Buffy returned with a chuckle.  
  
  
Tara shrugged one shoulder easily.  
  
  
“What can I say, Buffy? Everything aligned to make this happen right when it needed to most. It feels like he’s always been here.”  
  
  
Buffy nodded understandingly.  
  
  
“He’s a nice kid. Quiet. Insisted on helping.”  
  
  
“He’s been through a lot,” Tara said quietly, “But he’s retained his sweetness.”  
  
  
“Sounds like someone else I know,” Buffy replied with affection and threw a sly wink Tara’s way, “I’m going to go make sure Angel isn’t trying to read the instructions upside down again.”  
  
  
She bent down to press a gentle kiss on Liam’s forehead.  
  
  
“You good with my boy?”  
  
  
“I adore your boy,” Tara returned, holding him a little tighter.  
  
  
“Likewise,” Buffy smiled as she stood, “Plural.”  
  
  
Tara felt her mouth go a little dry as Buffy said that and just nodded in return. Buffy left them alone again and Tara found herself fighting off a lump of emotion in her throat.  
  
  
It didn’t take long for Liam to wake from his nap and not much longer than that for Kayden to appear, looking a little lost.  
  
  
“Hi honey,” Tara greeted and Kayden held his opposite arm and looked down at the floor in response, “Everything okay?”  
  
  
“Uh-huh,” Kayden nodded, “They, um…your, um, friends said I should come downstairs so they could finish it off.”  
  
  
“Oh, they want it to be a surprise,” Tara smiled, “That’s very sweet of them. Do you want to play with me and Liam?”  
  
  
Kayden nodded and sat on the floor with them to help Liam get his little colorful pegs into the open slots of a toy hedgehog.  
  
  
“Yeah, that’s green,” Kayden smiled when Liam coordinated right, “Good job.”  
  
  
Tara smiled with slightly raised eyebrows.  
  
  
“You’re good with him.”  
  
  
Kayden blushed and didn’t say anything, but did continue to play.  
  
  
A little while later there were heavier steps rocketing down the stairs and Buffy, Angel, Jesse, and Xander appeared with a light sheen on their faces and pleased smiles they kept sending to each other. Even Angel looked keen to be involved.  
  
  
“Dah-dee!” Liam called out excitedly, reaching out for his parents, “Mah-mah!”  
  
  
“Hey slayer,” Buffy cooed as she took him in her arms, “Were you good for Aunty Tara?”  
  
  
Liam bobbed his head.  
  
  
“An’ Kay-Kay!”  
  
  
Kayden blushed all over again but all of the adults pretended not to notice.  
  
  
“We’re all done up there if you want to take a look,” Xander supplied helpfully.  
  
  
“I’ll take you up,” Tara offered and put her hand between Kayden’s shoulder blades, “There’s beers in the fridge for you non-designated drivers and snacks left out while we wait for dinner.”  
  
  
They all clambered into the kitchen while Tara walked up both sets of stairs to the attic with Kayden. He seemed nervous, so Tara didn’t rush it and just took it step by step. Once they were up there, Tara pulled back the sliding door and stood back to let him take it in.  
  
  
She had to take it in herself.  
  
  
It was all black and white, centered around the black and white guitar rug on the floor that Kayden had first picked out. Two walls were white and one feature wall was black and had the bed and nightstands backed up against it. He’d chosen simple but functional furniture; a dresser, a wooden bed frame, a bookshelf.  
  
  
A hand-built desk had come courtesy of Xander with a sturdy chair, well-cushioned and designed to be sat in for however long homework took.  
  
  
Tara had offered (well, she’d offered Willow) to get him a TV out of fairness because JJ had one but he’d politely and shyly refused — Tara thought it was because he was embarrassed about the money but really he just wanted an excuse to still be able to hang out with JJ.  
  
  
He hadn’t realized yet that he didn’t need an excuse.  
  
  
Kayden sat on the end of his bed and looked around in wonder.  
  
  
“You like it, honey?” Tara asked gently.  
  
  
Kayden could only smile and nod. Tara came to sit by him.  
  
  
“I have something for you,” she said and reached into her pocket to pull out a phone.  
  
  
Kayden looked at it, confused.  
  
  
“We need to be able to keep in touch with you,” Tara said with a smile, “Willow has…loaded it, or set it up or whatever it’s called when you make it work. Our numbers are programmed in and you’re on our family plan. But if you go over, it’s coming out of your allowance.”  
  
  
Kayden took a moment to follow as he turned the phone around in his hands.  
  
  
“Allowance?” he asked absentmindedly as his thumb roamed the screen.  
  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
  
“We’ll give you 30 dollars a week and whatever amount you save of it, we’ll match. If you want to take from those savings, you come and talk to us. Is that okay?”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes widened as his brain played catch-up.  
  
  
“Yeah, of course.”  
  
  
Tara smiled softly.  
  
  
“Your allowance isn’t tied to any chores. We expect you to help out because you’re part of the family. But if you need a little extra, we might be able to find something to help you earn it.”  
  
  
Tara knew Willow would be rolling her eyes so hard if she were in the room right now because Tara tended to accept pleading eyes and a sweet smile as work enough for some extra cash.  
  
  
Tara reached into her other pocket and took out three $10 bills which she pressed into Kayden’s spare hand.  
  
  
He looked down at it and began to feel overwhelmed. He pushed it back at Tara.  
  
  
“Can I save all of it? You don’t have to match it.”  
  
  
Tara smiled, slow and easy.  
  
  
“It can be scary when your own money for the first time,” she said gently, “You feel like you have to keep it in case it goes again. Or you spend it all quickly in case it gets taken back.”  
  
  
She pushed it back into his hand.  
  
  
“But you can relax, sweetheart, okay?” she said gently, “You’re not going anywhere.”  
  
  
Kayden slowly smiled too, then handed a ten back to Tara.  
  
  
“What are you saving for?” Tara asked with a conspiring wink.  
  
  
“Oh. Um…” Kayden started, frowning in thought.  
  
  
“JJ started saving for a car around your age,” Tara advised but thought quickly that that might be overwhelming, “But you can start off small.”  
  
  
Kayden smiled, embarrassed.  
  
  
“I have to think about it.”  
  
  
There was the sound of the metal doors shaking as someone in heavy boots pounded up the stairs and JJ appeared in the hallway that separated the two rooms.  
  
  
“Mom,” he said as his eyes landed on her, “Is dinner ready?”  
  
  
“Hello to you, dear son,” Tara replied and walked over to give him a hug, “Twenty minutes.”  
  
  
JJ smiled and took a moment to look around the new room.  
  
  
“Bro, your room is dope!” he complimented and grinned, “When do I get a remodel?”  
  
  
“I’m sure if you helped your uncle out at his store, he’d help you build some new furniture,” Tara smiled, patting his back.  
  
  
JJ’s nose scrunched.  
  
  
“You know, my room is pretty cool as it is.”  
  
  
“Thought so,” Tara replied knowingly and pulled at his arm, “I need you to help me carry the heavy dishes.”  
  
  
JJ faked a heavy sigh.  
  
  
“Sometimes I think I’m nothing but muscle in this house.”  
  
  
“Heart muscle,” Tara smiled at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek.  
  
  
JJ waved her off, embarrassed but hugged her sidelong as they went back downstairs.  
  
  
“I love you, Mom.”  
  
  
Downstairs, Willow closed the door of the hall closet right as JJ and Tara were coming down.  
  
  
“I hear beer-guzzling and chatter. Is the room done?”  
  
  
“Go have a look,” Tara smiled.  
  
  
“Will do!” Willow smiled, hugging Tara sidelong as she passed, “Dinner soon?”  
  
  
“Like mother, like son,” Tara chuckled, “Yes. Twenty minutes, but can you tell the kids ten?”  
  
  
“On it,” Willow replied and went back to the front door.  
  
  
Only Emily was in view, like she knew she was supposed to be.  
  
  
“Emmy, sweetheart, dinner soon,” she said and Emily looked up and nodded diligently, “Where are your sisters?”  
  
  
Emily pointed down the street and Willow sighed.  
  
  
“Good girl. Thank you.”  
  
  
Emily started packing up her crayons — careful to put the right color in the right slot, much to Willow’s relief and delight.  
  
  
She heard her other two daughters before she saw them; yelling as they scuffled and rolled around on the sidewalk. There was a bunch of young boys on bikes or scooters around them, but they all began to skid out of there when they saw Willow approaching.  
  
  
“Hey!” Willow called, quickening her step to pull Robyn off of Lily, “What have I told you about fighting with your sister?!”  
  
  
“I’m not fighting with her!” Robyn protested, fighting out of Willow’s grip, “Not for real!”  
  
  
“Oh yeah, I’ve heard that one before,” Willow scoffed as she eyeballed Lily to make sure there were no injuries she had to deal with.  
  
  
“I wasn’t!” Robyn defended and shot Lily a wide-eyed look.  
  
  
“She wasn’t!” Lily quickly shook her head.  
  
  
Willow let go of them both and looked between them.  
  
  
“She was getting all worked up. She needed to get her energy out,” Robyn explained, holding her chin up.  
  
  
Willow looked at Lily, concerned.  
  
  
“You know you should come to me or Mommy when you start to feel like that.”  
  
  
Lily looked down and scuffed her shoe.  
  
  
“The other kids call me names when I have to go inside to do dumb stuff like breath. I just wanted to keep playing, Momma.”  
  
  
Willow rubbed Lily’s arm gently.  
  
  
“How do you feel now?”  
  
  
Lily thought about it.  
  
  
“Hungry,” she settled on eventually and there was a little rumbling sound to confirm.  
  
  
Willow smiled affectionately.  
  
  
“When you were little and your stomach rumbled, you’d tell us your belly was telling you a story,” she recalled fondly and stood up, putting a hand on each girls’ back, “Come on. Dinner is almost ready.”  
  
  
Behind her back, Lily and Robyn exchanged a glance. Robyn crushed something in her fist and discreetly handed Lily two of the six dollars they’d collected from the other boys to watch them fight.  
  
  
Once home again, Willow sent all of the girls off to clean up and went to the hall closet again. She picked out what she’d put there and making sure to handle it correctly, she quickly went up the attic. She let the item rest against the door and poked her head around with a gentle tap against the wood.  
  
  
“Wow,” she said brightly with a smile, “Looks great in here! You happy with it?”  
  
  
Kayden was still sitting on the end of his bed, looking all around.  
  
  
“It’s amazing,” he replied softly, “I still can’t believe it’s mine.”  
  
  
He blushed and looked down.  
  
  
“Um, well, I mean…”  
  
  
“Of course it is, it’s your room,” Willow replied and cautiously came to sit with him, “Kayden, I just wanted to say I know it must have been so difficult to just come into our home like this, especially with everything that came before.”  
  
  
Kayden looked up shyly while Willow offered a little sidelong hug.  
  
  
“You’ve been a joy to have. I didn’t even have to think about it when Tara suggested you live with us. You’re an amazing, talented kid,” she grinned to herself, “And I thought it wasn’t fair that you weren’t sharing your talents with the world. Us especially. So I got you something.”  
  
  
Kayden frowned as Willow skipped back over to the door and reached behind it. She brought back a guitar and held it out for him.  
  
  
“The guy said you could swap it if it doesn’t work for you but that this is the one a lot of kids your age have. Angel helped me pick the right one out so I hope you like it.”  
  
  
Kayden’s mouth dropped.  
  
  
“Oh my god.”  
  
  
Now he really was going to have to think about what to save for since his first wish had already been fulfilled.  
  
  
Willow continued to hold it out.  
  
  
“You gonna try it out?”  
  
  
Kayden snapped to attention and took the guitar from Willow. He rested it in his lap and smiled. It was perfect. His old one was one that belonged to his father and needed to be restrung and had questionable gang affiliation marks on it but this one — it was new and varnished and shiny and felt like it was molded just for him.  
  
  
He shook his head to focus and let his fingers find the cord he wanted. After a moment of settling, he started to play the opening bars of Can’t Help Falling In Love.  
  
  
“You know that song?” Willow smiled warmly, “That’s an oldie. It came out before I was even born. It’s one of my favorites.”  
  
  
Kayden continued to strum shyly.  
  
  
“Oh, um…” he shrugged his guitar on his knee, “Tara. She said you liked Elvis.”  
  
  
“I do,” Willow nodded, smiling even wider, “That’s really sweet of you to remember.”  
  
  
Kayden ducked his head but was smiling too.  
  
  
“Who does she like?”  
  
  
“Tara? The Beatles,” Willow answered easily, “Tara loves The Beatles.  
  
  
Kayden looked up and swallowed.  
  
  
“Thank you, Willow. I-I don’t know what to say.”  
  
  
Willow came over and kissed the top of Kayden’s head.  
  
  
“You don’t have to say anything. But you have to be on my side when I drag you all out to the fire pit to toast marshmallows and sing songs. Deal?”  
  
  
Kayden just nodded quickly, silently, fighting the glassiness in his eyes.  
  
  
Willow stepped away to allow him to have a moment.  
  
  
“Dinner in ten, okay?”  
  
  
“Yeah,” Kayden replied gruffly, “Sure.”  
  
  
Willow smiled and left. Kayden swiped his sleeve over his eyes, then quickly picked up his new phone and looked up a tutorial for some Beatles songs.  
  
  
He murmur-sang the lyrics as he followed along on his guitar.  
  
  
_“Blackbird singing in the dead of night…  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly  
All your life  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.”_


	5. Chapter 5

  
“Willow, are you listening?”  
  
  
Willow’s bored eyes rolled in Tara’s direction.  
  
  
“Can’t I just copy off you?” she whispered in annoyance.  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow sharply.  
  
  
“When have you ever copied schoolwork a day in your life?”  
  
  
Willow seemed put-out by the accusation and sat up straighter in the circle of people they were sitting in.  
  
  
“It’s not schoolwork. It’s…class…work…” she trailed off lamely and pouted, “And they’re talking about working with birth parents. Not the situation we’re in.”  
  
  
“Ours is unique,” Tara pressed softly, “Most people here haven’t even met the child or children they’re going to foster. They’re signing up to bring children into their homes who need them, to care for them just so they can go back to their birth parents. It’s a very difficult emotional road to journey through and they need the right tools.”  
  
  
“Is there a question over there?” the leader of the session, Mark: a man in his mid-thirties with rolled-up sleeves and hair he was just beginning to let gray, called over to them pointedly.  
  
  
Willow quickly opened her ring binder.  
  
  
“No,” she said sharply, cheeks flushing at being reprimanded by any kind of teacher, “Sorry…sir.”  
  
  
She quickly clicked her pen and hit it against the page, ready to write.  
  
  
Mark pushed his chair back.  
  
  
“Let’s try out some role-play situations. What do we do if a birth parent comes to the door looking to see their child outside of their sanctioned visitation time?”  
  
  
Willow hung back so she wouldn’t be chosen. She’d had enough of Drama in college. Tara, instead, volunteered and paired up with a man in his 50s who was taking the class with his wife.  
  
  
“Great work,” Mark called out, looking at Tara curiously when the session was finishing up, “See you all next week. Review your materials when you get a chance.”  
  
  
Tara came back to Willow, who raised an eyebrow.  
  
  
“That was tough just to watch in a fake environment. What’s next week?”  
  
  
Tara gave a pained smile.  
  
  
“Learning how to foster a child who’s been sexually abused.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes closed heavily.  
  
  
“I know. It's a lot when it's not even our situation. But we have to,” Tara replied softly, “For Kayden.”  
  
  
Willow nodded solemnly.  
  
  
“For Kayden.”  
  


* * *

  
“Dad!”  
  
  
Willow stood up on her toes to reach up and hug her father in her doorway.  
  
  
“Welcome home. How was Montreal?”  
  
  
“Très manifique,” Ira replied with a glimmering smile, “I do like this retirement business. I actually get to see the cities I visit!”  
  
  
Willow smiled.  
  
  
“Where’s Michelle?”  
  
  
“I’m right here,” Michelle replied, following Ira into the house and hugging Willow, “How are you doing Willow?”  
  
  
“I’m excellent,” Willow smiled, “Busy, busy, but good.”  
  
  
Ira clasped his hands together and hung them in front of himself.  
  
  
“We go away for a few weeks and we come home to a new child.”   
  
  
“Bet you weren’t expecting that at our age,” Willow grinned, then made a calming gesture with her hands, “This meeting is casual, okay? We’ve been introducing him to everyone in dribs and drabs so it’s not too overwhelming.”  
  
  
Ira’s brow started to furrow.  
  
  
“Willow, without sounding like an old fuddy-duddy, what exactly are your intentions with this boy?”  
  
  
Willow gave a gentle shrug.  
  
  
“He needed a home. We have a home. We haven’t really gone beyond that for the moment.”  
  
  
“Is he troubled?” Ira asked with concern.  
  
  
“Aren’t we all?” Willow quipped.  
  
  
Ira opened his mouth.  
  
  
“I mean—”  
  
  
“I know what you mean,” Willow cut him off quietly, “He has a troubled background but he’s not a troubled boy. Please be gentle with him.”  
  
  
Ira glanced at Michelle, then back at Willow, and nodded once.  
  
  
“Understood.”  
  
  
Willow smiled and made a motion to follow her and brought them into the living room where the kids were all already sitting around, throwing cushions at each other and whatnot. Their attention was pulled away as the adults entered.  
  
  
“Gramps!” JJ grinned.  
  
  
“Ganpy!” Robyn beamed.  
  
  
“Zayde!” Lily and Emily said in perfect unison.  
  
  
All four faced pivoted to Michelle at the same moment.  
  
  
“Grandma!!”  
  
  
There was a bombardment of hugs and Ira handed out mittens with maple leaves on them and little moose soft toys to the younger kids.  
  
  
“And I brought you all some maple syrup for your pancakes,” Michelle smiled and produced a bottle, which she handed to Willow, “Don’t drop that, it’s worth more than gold.”  
  
  
Willow smiled nervously.  
  
  
Ira approached Kayden, sitting on the opposite end of the couch and handed him a pair of the mittens.  
  
  
“Hello, Kayden. I’m Ira, I’m Willow’s father. We just returned from Canada.”  
  
  
“H-Hello,” Kayden greeted nervously, standing up respectfully and looking down at the mittens like he was handed the holy grail, “Thank you, sir.”  
  
  
“Oh please, I was called ‘sir’ enough in my career,” Ira smiled warmly.  
  
  
He shook Kayden’s hand firmly. Michelle approached and opened her arms.  
  
  
“I’m a hugger. Can I hug you?”  
  
  
Kayden nodded silently but fell into her arms and closed his eyes as they embraced.  
  
  
“I’m Michelle. I’m Tara’s aunt but I’m married to Ira.”  
  
  
“I-It’s nice to meet you,” Kayden looked between them both.  
  
  
“It’s lovely to meet you,” Michelle returned kindly.  
  
  
Tara walked in then carrying a platter.  
  
  
“I have bean dip and crudités.”  
  
  
“More like crudi _lames_ ,” Robyn mumbled and Willow shot her a look.  
  
  
Ira made a show of picking up some dip onto a baby carrot.  
  
  
“Tara, I must say, the _Montréalais_ have nothing on your cooking.”  
  
  
Tara smiled at him gratefully and noticed Kayden’s shoulders were a little tense as he took in all of the family dynamics. She nodded across the room to him.  
  
  
“Kayden, help me with some drinks?”  
  
  
Kayden agreed quickly and followed Tara out and into the kitchen.  
  
  
“You doing okay, honey?” Tara asked casually as she had him fill an ice bucket.  
  
  
“Yeah,” Kayden bobbed his head.  
  
  
Tara placed a hand on Kayden’s back.  
  
  
“Ira has a big presence but his heart is just as big too.”  
  
  
“I like the mittens,” Kayden replied genuinely, “I don’t think I’ve had mittens before.”  
  
  
Tara smiled sadly.  
  
  
Kayden finished filling the bucket and put it in the sink. He glanced over to Tara.  
  
  
“How come your aunt is married to your father-in-law?”  
  
  
“Fate, I like to think,” Tara smiled at him, “In this family, we always find each other right when we need to.”  
  
  
Kayden’s brow dropped contemplatively while Tara fetched a big bowl from the cabinet and had him hold it. She got a bag of chips from the cabinet and emptied it into the bowl.  
  
  
“You get to be the hero who brings the chips.”  
  
  
Kayden smiled and flicked his hair out of his eyes.  
  
  
Tara grabbed the pitcher of sweet tea and together they returned to the rambunctiousness.  
  


* * *

  
Willow and Tara were sharing a rare moment of quiet togetherness on the couch.  
  
  
The girls were asleep and the boys were quiet upstairs and they just got to sit together cuddled up to watch some mindless television. Sharing a footstool, as was their custom, Tara rested her head on Willow’s shoulder and their touching arms joining at the wrist as they watched a nature show.  
  
  
“Chlamydia is rampant in the koala population, you know,” Willow commented.  
  
  
“Ssh, honey, don’t ruin it,” Tara replied quietly.  
  
  
As they were watching, Woofy ran in and sat by their feet. He barked.  
  
  
“What’s up boy?” Willow asked absently, “Did JJ feed you?”  
  
  
He barked again and both Tara and Willow turned her attention to them.  
  
  
The squeak of JJ’s rubber soles screeched loudly as he hurried down the stairs. He ran in just moments behind Woofy.  
  
  
“Uh Mom, Momma?” he said nervously, his fingers fidgeting, “Kayden is kinda…freaking out.”  
  
  
Both Tara and Willow sat up fully.  
  
  
“What do you mean freaking out?” Tara asked.  
  
  
JJ held up a hand helplessly.  
  
  
“I…”  
  
  
Willow and Tara shared a look and promptly jumped up and ran upstairs together.  
  
  
In his room, Kayden was sitting on the floor hunched over with his legs out. His upper half was rocking back and forth and he was sobbing. His bedclothes were strewn around everywhere and though it could barely be seen, about a foot above the bed some paint had chipped.  
  
  
“Kayden,” Tara said in an indrawn breath of alarm.  
  
  
They both rushed either side of him and hugged him from all angles.  
  
  
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Tara comforted.  
  
  
“We’re here,” Willow echoed in the same tone, “We’ve got you.”  
  
  
They kept the pressure either side of him, encasing him in their embrace. His sobbing began to slow.  
  
  
“Can you tell us what’s happening?” Willow asked gently.  
  
  
“Whenever you feel ready,” Tara added softly.  
  
  
Kayden swallowed a few shaky breaths.  
  
  
“I just…I just found out… that…that…that Tony died. And, I…I don’t know, I just feel so _weird_. I-I hate him but…”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes widened at Tara. Had she known that? Tara looked just as shocked so she guessed not.  
  
  
“That’s big news,” Tara guided slowly, carefully, “He was in your life for a long time.”  
  
  
“And involved with a lot of…complicated feelings,” Willow tried to supply helpfully. They hadn't covered this in class.  
  
  
Kayden was silent but his back still hunched with sobs. Tara began to rub it softly.  
  
  
“Do you remember I told you about my father and what he did to me?” she broached cautiously, “If I heard he died tomorrow, I’m sure I would feel a lot of different emotions too. I would remember how scared I used to feel around him. And I would remember my anger for everything he did.”  
  
  
She sighed softly.  
  
  
“And I would feel sad for the man he could have been and the relationship we could have had.”  
  
  
She got a lump in her throat.  
  
  
“And probably a million other things as well,” she finished, clearing her throat, “So whatever you’re feeling right now, that’s okay. You’re allowed to feel them.”  
  
  
Willow was busy comforting Kayden with her hands, so she shot Tara a comforting look instead. Tara smiled back sadly but gratefully.  
  
  
They stayed huddled like that until Kayden was just sitting quietly with his head hung over his body.  
  
  
“You know what we call this?” Willow asked when she sensed the biggest emotion had passed, “A mom sandwich.”  
  
  
Kayden’s head lifted a tad and Tara grinned.  
  
  
“I saw a smile, Willow,” she teased.  
  
  
“Let me see,” Willow ducked her head, “I definitely detect a hint of a smirk. By god, it’s growing!”  
  
  
She gasped as Kayden’s lips twitched a bit more.  
  
  
“It won’t stop! It’s going to consume us all!”  
  
  
She shook them all dramatically before settling back with a smile. Kayden sniffled and looked between them with glassy eyes.  
  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
  
“You don’t have to say sorry for letting out your feelings,” Tara reassured softly, “That’s why we’re here.”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes grew downcast.  
  
  
“Lily has ADHD, did you know that?” Willow cut in and Kayden shook his head, “She controls it really well. But that’s because we spent a lot of years working to get her there.”  
  
  
“And I had post-natal depression after giving birth to the twins,” Tara said with a different kind of sad smile, “I still take medication to help with it and do therapy like I told you.”  
  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
  
“So big emotions? They don’t scare us. Especially from any of you kids. Those are our job.”  
  
  
Kayden glanced off to the side where Willow and Tara first noticed the chipped paint. Tara took Kayden’s right hand and laid it out flat, spotting tiny little nicks where he must have punched the wall, though probably not very hard.  
  
  
“Nothing that can’t be painted over,” she said and held his hand in hers, “Does it hurt?”  
  
  
Kayden just shook his head.  
  
  
“Let’s make sure we figure out ways to let your feelings out without you getting hurt.”   
  
  
“You’re our number one priority,” Willow added quickly, “When I feel upset, I like to do things that make me feel good to distract me.”  
  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
  
“Yes, like I like to do my gardening.”  
  
  
“And I like to read or play occasional havoc with the electrical circuitry of government buildings,” Willow said in a chirpy tone, then dropped it when Tara gave her a look, “But not in a long time.”  
  
  
Tara looked back down at Kayden.  
  
  
“What makes you feel good?”  
  
  
Kayden gulped.  
  
  
“Listening to music.”  
  
  
“Why don’t you go do that?” Willow encouraged gently.  
  
  
“I’ll bring you up some cookies and warm milk to help you sleep,” Tara promised and kissed his forehead, then stood up to remake his bed for him.  
  
  
Kayden stood awkwardly to the side but gave them both a hug when offered.  
  
  
He found the little pair of earbuds that had come with his new phone and unspooled them so he could listen to some music. His hands were still shaking and his cheeks were still red but he was focusing on his task.  
  
  
Willow and Tara walked back down to the second level where JJ was leaning against the wall at the base of the stairwell trying to look casual while failing to hide a look of concern.  
  
  
“It’s okay, honey,” Tara reassured while rubbing his arm, “Just needed a hug,”  
  
  
“Thanks for telling us,” Willow added gently, “You can go to bed now.”  
  
  
“Should I say something?” JJ asked, nervously biting the corner of his lip.  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“No, sweetheart. You should just go to bed.”  
  
  
She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.  
  
  
“Goodnight. We love you.”  
  
  
JJ’s shoulders eased.  
  
  
“Love you,” Willow echoed as she rubbed his arm, “Sweet dreams.”  
  
  
“Night, Mom. Night Momma,” JJ replied with a squeeze for both of them.  
  
  
Willow and Tara stayed to make sure he made the precarious dozen steps or so upstairs safely before making their way to their room.  
  
  
Willow sank down on the end of the bed.  
  
  
“Tony is his uncle, right? The one who…” she paused, jaw setting angrily, “Why the heck weren’t we told he died?”  
  
  
“We should have been,” Tara replied from across the room with her arms crossed over her chest, “That communication moratorium between me and his team is forgetting that I’m — we’re — still the parents.”  
  
  
“Guess you don’t know how he died, then?” Willow asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“No. There were no significant medical conditions in his history.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes flashed black.  
  
  
“I hope it was painful.”  
  
  
Tara pushed herself off of the dresser.  
  
  
“That’s not helpful.”  
  
  
She came over and sat beside Willow, taking her hand.  
  
  
They just sat and held each other for a moment before Tara pulled away.  
  
  
“I’m going to go get him his snack and see if he wants to chat now he’s calmed down a bit.”  
  
  
“Good idea,” Willow nodded, “Poor kid. But I’ve never found a problem an Oreo couldn’t solve.”  
  
  
Tara smiled softly and left for the kitchen.  
  
  
Willow closed her eyes and wished she could do more.  
  


* * *

  
Tara found out the reason why she had been kept in the dark about the death of Antony Miller about seven seconds after angrily bursting into the team meeting demanding to know what was going on.  
  
  
They had a pretty good excuse.  
  
  
They didn’t know.  
  
  
Tara had had to sit down sheepishly while some information was gathered and they learned Antony had only been pronounced dead about an hour before JJ had come downstairs to get help.  
  
  
It became pretty obvious, pretty quickly that the only way Kayden could have known that fast was if someone told him. And the only person who could have known was Roxy, Kayden’s aunt. Whom he most certainly shouldn’t be having contact with right now.  
  
  
“Tara, have you told him not to be in contact while there’s an investigation going on?” Stephanie asked with slight exasperation.  
  
  
Tara felt like a schoolchild being scolded.  
  
  
“I had no reason to believe he wanted any.”  
  
  
Stephanie raised an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Are you monitoring his contact, at least?”  
  
  
Tara straightened her back in the chair.  
  
  
“He’s never had a phone before. Something that was his. I wasn’t going to make it seem like I didn’t trust him. Obviously, we have parental controls in place to stop anything untoward. I can’t control if an incoming call or message comes into him, except to block the number which we obviously will be doing now.”  
  
  
“Tara…” Stephanie sighed heavily, “Obviously this isn’t an appropriate discussion for a team lead meeting. Kayden’s caseworker will be in touch to schedule a meeting with you. Moving on.”  
  
  
Tara felt slapped in the face and hoped her red cheeks didn’t give her away. She got through the meeting and indeed the whole day by doing her version of what she’d encouraged Kayden to do the night before and kept herself busy with work. It wasn’t like there wasn’t always plenty of it.  
  
  
She was at home when the girls arrived off the school bus and was happier to busy herself with motherhood. That was the kind of endless work she was happier to embrace.  
  
  
Not much later, JJ announced himself loudly as being home and came into the kitchen to throw open the fridge. Kayden came in more quietly behind him but made sure to say hello to everyone. Tara smiled at him, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. After she made sure she scavenged enough food to make Kayden a snack, she asked to talk to him alone in the dining room for a few minutes.  
  
  
“I wanted to check in with how you were feeling today?” she asked gently.  
  
  
“Kind of…” Kayden’s eyes turned down but sought Tara’s gaze after a moment, “Relieved? I-is that bad? Does that make me a monster?”  
  
  
“No, sweetheart,” Tara reassured firmly, “Absolutely not. Whatever your feelings are, you’re entitled to them and they make you human.”  
  
  
Tara rubbed his knee gently.  
  
  
“Sweetie, I have to ask how you found out that your—that Tony had passed away.”  
  
  
Kayden looked up and went pale.  
  
  
“Roxy…Roxy messaged me.”  
  
  
Tara nodded evenly.  
  
  
“I didn’t know you were texting with her. How did she get your number?”  
  
  
“She didn’t,” Kayden shook his head, “She messaged me on Facebook.”  
  
  
“Kayden, this is my fault,” Tara replied quickly, “I should have been keeping a closer eye on your social media use like I do with all of the kids. And I know this is an extremely difficult time, but you can’t be in contact with Roxy while there’s still an active investigation going on. I should have made sure you understood that and I’m sorry.”  
  
  
Kayden’s lips suddenly turned as white as his face.  
  
  
“I-I’m sorry, Tara, I, I…”  
  
  
“Ssh, darling,” Tara comforted gently, “You didn’t do anything wrong, not on purpose. But you can’t message with her again, okay? We have to block her.”  
  
  
“I g-get it,” Kayden nodded, “I’m sorry.”  
  
  
Tara just pulled him into a hug.  
  
  
After a minute or so, she pulled back.  
  
  
“Kayden, I have to ask you. Do you want to go to the funeral?”  
  
  
Kayden reached up and held his opposite shoulder uncomfortably.  
  
  
“Should I?”  
  
  
Tara pursed her lips.  
  
  
This was too much. He shouldn’t have to confront this situation now when everything was still so raw. He should have time, years in fact before he was faced with his abuser's mortality and the flurry of emotion that would accompany it.  
  
  
Tara wasn’t sure she was fully ready to deal with the inevitable day she would be placed in this situation and it had been decades for her.  
  
  
“I’m afraid only you can make that decision, sweetheart. But we’ll all support you either way.”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes looked troubled but he looked over gratefully.  
  
  
“Thanks, Tara.”  
  
  
Tara just pulled him into another hug.  
  


* * *

  
“Can you hang back, please?”  
  
  
Willow and Tara hung back, as requested, while the rest of their fostering class comrades spilled out into the night having finished their latest lesson. This one dealt with moving from foster parent to adoptive parent and Willow really enjoyed it because it was an area she at least knew something about, even if it had been sixteen years ago.  
  
  
“Do you think we’re going to get a commendation?” she asked excitedly, holding her white three-ring binder to her chest.  
  
  
“I don’t think so, sweetie,” Tara let her down easy.  
  
  
Willow pouted but seemed to accept it. When the class had filed out and Mark had gathered everything he needed to gather, he looked over to them and sat on the edge of his desk.  
  
  
“I have to say, I’ve been amazed at how well you’ve been doing in these classes. Always know exactly what to say, where to pivot.”  
  
  
Willow started to smile a bit smugly.  
  
  
“Oh, well—”  
  
  
“Not you,” Mark cut her off, holding up a hand, which Willow scowled at, “You.”  
  
  
He pointed to Tara.  
  
  
“I was amazed at how well you handled the workshops and role-play. You’re word perfect,” he picked up a manual sitting on the desk beside him and ruffled it through his fingers, “And you know, I kept thinking I recognized your name…”  
  
  
He flipped to the back of the manual and pointed to a name in the footnotes.  
  
  
“You’re word perfect because you wrote the book.”  
  
  
Tara quickly shook her head.  
  
  
“I didn’t, I just made a very minor contribution.”  
  
  
Mark arched an annoyed eyebrow.  
  
  
“Are they doing mystery shoppers for MAPP classes now? Because you really should have tried to blend in more.”  
  
  
Willow scowled some more and hoped it imparted some bad juju his way for insulting Tara’s imaginary role as a mystery inspector. Tara would be perfect at any job she chose to do and frankly Willow was downright offended at any suggestion otherwise.  
  
  
“No, I’m genuine,” Tara replied to Mark with a bit of a tired but hopefully genuine smile, “I have temporary custody of one of my children right now and we have to be certified to officially foster him long-term.”  
  
  
Mark gave one long, slow nod.  
  
  
“Well, good luck, then. You’ll get fully signed off from me.”  
  
  
“Thank you,” Tara smiled again and tugged Willow along.  
  
  
“Can you believe the nerve of that guy?” Willow grunted, “Oh I figured you out, oh I found your name in my book.”  
  
  
“Everyone is trying their best,” Tara sighed and Willow gave her a little back rub as they walked to the car.  
  
  
Once inside, Willow turned the heat on and waited for everything to warm up.  
  
  
She rubbed her palms together and took Tara’s hands across the console.  
  
  
“I didn’t even get a chance to ask you about all the Kayden stuff after dinner before we were running off to class. You mentioned the funeral and the social media stuff. How did the guy die?”  
  
  
“He overdosed,” Tara replied with a solemn nod.  
  
  
“Jeez,” Willow replied, feeling her heart constrict for the young boy in bed in their home right now, “That’s a lot for a kid to feel on their shoulders. Especially with his mom.”  
  
  
Tara exhaled softly.  
  
  
“This is what we signed up for.”  
  
  
She paused and looked Willow in the eye.  
  
  
“Are you still glad that we did?”  
  
  
“Of course,” Willow answered without hesitation.  
  
  
“You can be honest,” Tara offered and quickly realized she was the one who needed to be honest, “I had a moment today, I…”  
  
  
She stopped and swallowed.  
  
  
Willow moved one hand to Tara’s cheek and brushed her thumb over the skin there.  
  
  
“Tara, I have those ‘moments’ once a week about all of our kids,” she said with some mirth but not without truth, “Remember that time before Lily was diagnosed and she cracked you in the back of the head with her little wooden train? She drew blood! I almost drew blood, I swear…”  
  
  
She felt her hackles rising even years later and had to take a breath.  
  
  
“My point is, having a ‘moment’ is okay. It’s normal. They’re our kids. We love them even when it isn’t easy. And I bet when you were having your ‘moment’ you didn’t think for a second that you wanted him to actually leave.”  
  
  
Tara nodded quickly; that was true. Willow smiled.  
  
  
“Let’s get home to ‘em.”  
  
  
“To have another 'moment'?” Tara asked with a slowly sloping crooked smile.  
  
  
Willow winked once as she grabbed the wheel.  
  
  
“To have every moment.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Who wants…pizza?!”  
  
  
Willow flipped the lid on the box as she brought it into the dining room.  
  
  
“The birthday girls, maybe?”  
  
  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” Lily cheered, pumping both fists in the air from her seat at the table, “Pizza is our favorite food.”  
  
  
Tara came in with a bowl in her hands and bent down by Emily while the others were distracted by the pizza.  
  
  
“Hey, do you think you could do me a favor?” she asked gently, “I had all this cheese I had to use up so I made some mac’n’cheese. Think you could eat some up for me?”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes lit up. She didn’t like to verbally differ from Lily but pizza wasn’t her _number one_ favorite.  
  
  
“Yes, Mommy,” she whispered and nodded eagerly as she pushed her glasses back up her face.  
  
  
Tara set the bowl in front of her and kissed her head.  
  
  
“Who wants lemonade?”  
  
  
There was a chorus of ‘me, me, me’s' and more hands reaching toward the ceiling.  
  
  
“Bring the jug!” Willow encouraged with a grin.  
  
  
JJ pulled a slice a pizza up so the cheese stretched.  
  
  
“Hey, you guys are the age that I was when you two brats were born!”  
  
  
“Don’t call your sisters brats,” Willow chided.  
  
  
“Well I’m not calling Emmy a brat,” JJ smirked at Lily, “Your faces were so squishy.”  
  
  
“Nuh-uh!” Lily protested, her forehead scrunching in a not un-squishy-like way.  
  
  
“Uh-huh!” JJ returned with a booming laugh.  
  
  
“Your faces were kinda squishy,” Willow admitted and received a look of utter betrayal, “You were born early, you weren’t fully cooked yet.”  
  
  
Emily looked up, troubled.  
  
  
“W-We were cooked?”  
  
  
“No, sweetie, it’s a turn of phrase,” Tara said as she came back in with the jug of lemonade and sat next to Willow, giving her a look, “Stop telling the children they were cooked.”  
  
  
“I was trying to explain their adorable squishy faces,” Willow protested, waving her hands indicatively.  
  
  
“My face wasn’t squishy!” Lily screamed as her face grew the color of her hair.  
  
  
Everyone else shut up and Tara met her daughter’s eye.  
  
  
“Lil, it’s okay,” she said calmly, “Do a breath with me.”  
  
  
Tara inhaled audibly and when Lily unclenched, she did the same.  
  
  
The whole table joined in and after three slow breaths, everyone silently went back to eating. JJ scooted his chair closer to Lily and wrapped an arm around her.  
  
  
“What are you doing?” Lily asked suspiciously.  
  
  
“I’m giving you a hug, dingus,” JJ returned with a grin.  
  
  
Lily scooted _her_ chair the other way, toward Kayden.  
  
  
“Kayden doesn’t call me a dingus.”  
  
  
“O-or squishy faced,” Emily added quietly.  
  
  
“I didn’t know you were squishy faced,” Kayden replied with a one-shoulder shrug but his mouth was tugging into a smile.  
  
  
“Oh I’ll show you pictures,” Willow replied eagerly.  
  
  
“If you all don’t finish your dinner, there’ll be no cake…” Tara warned playfully.  
  
  
“Who cares?” Robyn picked off some bell pepper from her slice of pizza, “We’re getting all the candy we want tonight.”  
  
  
“I care,” JJ pouted and pretty much mirrored Willow, “Mom made funfetti.”  
  
  
Tara grinned crookedly.  
  
  
“With extra sprinkles, as requested.”  
  
  
“I want cake!” Lily insisted, “AND candy! You can have both you know, Robbie.”  
  
  
“Oh thanks, little sister, I would never have known that without you,” Robyn replied, rolling her eyes.  
  
  
“Can you take a day off from the pre-teen angst and sarcasm for your sisters’ birthday?” Willow requested through gritted teeth, “You know after they were born you went around for months saying how great a big sister you were.”  
  
  
“You did do that,” JJ chuckled, “You introduced yourself as ‘Wobbie, the GWEAT BIG SISTAH’.”  
  
  
Everyone laughed and Robyn rolled her eyes but took it.  
  
  
“Yeah, yeah. I am a great big sister. I just provide much-needed sarcasm.”   
  
  
“Oh, you sounded WAY too much like Anya there,” Willow shuddered, “Hey, what time are Pixie and Alex coming over?”  
  
  
The doorbell rang and Tara smiled.  
  
  
“In time for cake.”  
  
  
“I’ll get it,” Kayden offered, wiping his mouth on his napkin. It felt natural that he would answer the door here. He didn’t even think twice. And he’d spent most of his life thinking twice.  
  
  
He opened the door and heard the last few words of Anya shouting out the car window to ‘take as much as possible’ for packed lunches.  
  
  
“Hi, Kayden!” Pixie greeted as she rushed past in a blur of pastel pink.  
  
  
“Hey Kayden,” Alex greeted, holding out his fist to be bumped before bringing his hand back to slick over his fauxhawk, “I was told there’d be cake.”  
  
  
Even only having been around for the past few weeks, Kayden already knew Alex sounded like his father.  
  
  
“In the dining room,” he answered as he closed the door behind them.  
  
  
Just before it clicked, there was a light pressure and he stepped back to allow it to open.  
  
  
A young girl walked in, a bit older than Robyn with long brown hair and timid steps. She looked at him with a furrowed brow.  
  
  
“Um, are you Kayden?”  
  
  
“Yeah,” Kayden answered a bit dumbly.  
  
  
“I’m Ella. I’m Jesse’s daughter,” Ella explained, the age she had on Robyn apparent in her mature tone and stature, “And Alice? My mom works with your…”  
  
  
“Tara,” Kayden supplied helpfully.  
  
  
“Yeah,” Ella nodded.  
  
  
Kayden smiled bashfully. While he’d been over to the Harris’s a couple of times and hung out with Alex while he hung out with JJ a handful more, he had yet to meet Ella.  
  
  
He’d met Jesse’s dog while they were all out for a walk with Woofy but not his daughter. Still, he’d learned through listening on all the family banter and stories who each branch of this familial tree was.  
  
  
“I know who you are,” he said and stood aside, “I think they’re serving cake. I, uh, like your costume. 13th Doctor?”  
  
  
Ella’s eyes lit up.  
  
  
“Yeah! How’d you know?”  
  
  
Kayden nodded toward her hand.  
  
  
“Sonic screwdriver.”  
  
  
Ella looked down at her prop and smiled back up at Kayden.  
  
  
“Are you coming?”  
  
  
Kayden nodded and they walked back into the dining room.  
  
  
“What are you, Pixie?” Tara asked with a smile across the table as they waited for Willow to bring in the cake.  
  
  
Pixie held the handles on the pair of wings over her shoulders and stood proudly in her pair of pink scrubs.  
  
  
“I’m a fairy-princess-doctor.”  
  
  
“She’s a mutant,” Alex added in a bored tone as his chin rested on his upturned palm, “She just hasn’t accepted it.”  
  
  
Pixie flashed her teeth in a smile.  
  
  
“My mom says I can be anything I want to be as long as it makes—”  
  
  
“You happy,” Tara tried to preempt the inevitable answer but Pixie just shook her head.  
  
  
“No, a lot of money.”  
  
  
Suddenly the lights went out as Willow reached in to flick the switch. Lily jumped up on her knees on her chair and Emily’s eyes flew brightly toward the door.  
  
  
The flicker of the candlelight cast shadows on the walls as Willow carried the cake in and everyone started to sing Happy Birthday. They sang it once for each of them and each time had a mix of their names as no one had coordinated ahead of time.  
  
  
Secretly, Tara hadn’t coordinated on purpose so that neither twin felt slighted.  
  
  
Both Willow and Tara cut the cake together for the same purpose — to serve each girl the first slice together. Slices were quickly doled out to the rest of the kids, albeit with one obviously missing.  
  
  
“No go on Liam,” Willow told Tara as she sat back down beside her, “Buffy texted. All of the costumes around their neighborhood are scaring him. They’re going to keep him inside and put a bowl of candy outside the door. Maybe next year.”  
  
  
“Oh, that’s a shame,” Tara said sadly, “But they’re doing the right thing.”  
  
  
Willow held up her plate jovially.  
  
  
“More cake for me!”  
  
  
She took a forkful and licked her lips at its delectable moistness and flavor.  
  
  
“Marry me!”  
  
  
Tara chuckled and took a modest piece herself. She had to admit, it was a good cake. She’d really perfected her cream cheese frosting. She’d even made extra to sneak up to the bedroom later…  
  
  
As everyone finished up, Kayden and Alex sneaked after JJ as he headed out to go upstairs.  
  
  
“Are you boys finally going to tell us what you’re dressing up as?” Willow asked with a smirk.  
  
  
“You’ll see, Momma,” JJ answered with the exact same smirk.  
  
  
When all of the kids had gone to get changed or help others get changed, Willow threw her eyes toward Tara and winked.  
  
  
“Ready to get into our costumes?”  
  
  
“I can’t believe you still won’t tell me,” Tara shook her head, “Every year I have no idea what monstrosity I’m getting into it.”  
  
  
Willow just slid her hand into Tara’s and gave it a tug.  
  
  
“I left your costume in the bathroom,” she said and tapped Tara’s butt once they were in the bedroom.  
  
  
Tara, ever obliging, went into the bathroom to change. Willow, meanwhile donned her very simple attire: a round brown piece of cardboard with green etchings around her middle and a little hat with a large fixture looking like a green straw sticking out of it.  
  
  
Minutes later, Tara came out, frowning.  
  
  
“I feel very rotund.”  
  
  
Willow grinned at Tara’s very cartoonish pink donut costume.  
  
  
“And I suddenly feel a Homer Simpson-level urge for donuts.”  
  
  
She mocked drooling and Tara laughed a bit helplessly.  
  
  
“What even are we?”  
  
  
“We’re the perfect couple!” Willow grinned spritely, “Coffee and a donut!”  
  
  
One of Tara’s eyebrows arched softly.  
  
  
“Starting to run out of ideas, hun?”  
  
  
Willow smiled sheepishly.  
  
  
“Been distracted with Kayden and classes and whatnot,” she admitted, striding over to Tara, “All the good costumes were sold out everywhere. That’s why I had to ask you to make the kids ones.”  
  
  
“Well, I love you dough much,” Tara replied, leaning over to peck Willow’s lips.  
  
  
Willow held her hands over her heart.  
  
  
“You punned for me.”  
  
  
“I’d pun for you any day,” Tara replied with a glint in her eye, “Even when you drive me glazy.”  
  
  
Willow’s tongue stuck out between her teeth.  
  
  
“I love you a _hole_ lot.”  
  
  
She rubbed their noses together and took Tara’s hand. They started to walk downstairs and in the hall, they came across Robyn leaving her room wearing her costume, with Ella and Pixie behind her.  
  
  
Robyn physically stumbled back when she saw them.  
  
  
“Oh jeez,” she said, looking away and waving her hands, “Stay at least ten steps behind me at all times tonight.”  
  
  
She ran down the stairs with the other two at her heels. Willow looked at Tara dubiously.  
  
  
“Does she really want to go as that?”  
  
  
Tara shrugged one shoulder amiably.  
  
  
“That’s what she asked for. That’s what I made her.”  
  
  
Willow just sighed and they went downstairs to gather candy buckets and whatnot.  
  
  
Finally, there was movement on the stairs and the boys made their way down. They were all in black turtlenecks and gray slacks with white gloves. On top of their heads were mouse ears and they were wearing sunglasses. Finally, each had a plastic cane they were pretending to use.  
  
  
“You better tell us if the farmer’s wife is nearby because we all want to keep our tails!” JJ announced and they all turned to wiggle their butts where they’d stuck tails on.  
  
  
The girls — and the women — all fell about laughing and Tara noted that she wasn’t sure she’d ever seen a bigger smile on Kayden’s face.  
  
  
Woofy came up and looked at them all for a moment, then let out a low growl.  
  
  
JJ laughed and raised his sunglasses to look down at him.  
  
  
“We’re not real mice, Woofs!”  
  
  
Woofy looked up and barked, then sat at JJ’s feet.  
  
  
“Get his leash,” Tara said but almost immediately went off to do it herself.  
  
  
Willow bent down to the twins to fix their little costumes and make sure they were all buttoned up everywhere. She looked at Emily a bit unsurely.  
  
  
“Are you sure this is what you want to go as, koala bear?”  
  
  
Emily’s head bobbed evenly.  
  
  
“I-I haveta be the catta-pillah so Lily can be the buttah-fly.”  
  
  
Willow took Emily’s head in her hands and kissed her hairline.  
  
  
“You _are_ a butterfly. A beautiful, majestic butterfly,” she enunciated clearly and rubbed Emily’s shoulders, “Next year I think it’s your turn to pick the costumes, yeah?”  
  
  
Emily just shrugged one shoulder and Willow smiled at her. She fixed Lily up where she was needed and stood ready to take their brood out to the neighborhood for trick-or-treating.  
  
  
At their first house, a doting and newly-empty-nester neighbor made a big show of looking at everyone’s outfit individually. She didn’t even balk at the three boys, which some houses did as they deemed them too old to trick-or-treat.  
  
  
She finally landed on Robyn and tried her best to maintain her smile.  
  
  
“And what are you?”  
  
  
“A broad representation of the American electorate,” Robyn replied, deadpan.  
  
  
“She’s a flip-flop,” Willow said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster as her shoe-shaped daughter accepted the candy and snatched her sack closed so no one could take any, before muttering, “Still better than the year you were a frog.”  
  
  
They all said ‘thank you’ and passed by the next family coming in on their way out, as they did in reverse as they went to the next house. And so they went on, as they did every year until every house had been _visited_ and not ‘hit up’ as Tara had to repeatedly correct Robyn.  
  
  
Once they were back home with their buckets and bags full, Robyn burst into the living room and pushed the coffee table out—  
  
  
“Watch my floor!” Willow hollered in.  
  
  
—so there was room for the three girls to sit on the rug.  
  
  
She upturned her own bag of candy.  
  
  
“Now to maximize enjoyment. First, we separate by category. Chocolate, caramels, gummies, lollipops. Then by absorbancy to see what needs to be eaten first—”  
  
  
“We all know the method, Robyn,” Ella rolled her eyes as she sat cross-legged opposite Robyn, “It’s the same every year.”  
  
  
Robyn jumped up and wagged her finger.  
  
  
“And we haven’t lost a single candy yet so maybe you show the method a little respect, soldier!”  
  
  
The boys all crowded in the dining room to eat what was left of the pizza and scarf the little candy they did get. JJ still went out with just because he loved his little sisters and dressing up with them, though he probably wouldn’t admit it. It was just a bonus when the not anally-retentive households threw him a piece of candy too.  
  
  
He swapped some M&Ms for some Skittles with Kayden while Alex played on his phone until he announced there was a party they could crash.  
  
  
“You guys in?” he asked with his fingers posed to reply.  
  
  
Kayden seemed surprised by the plural.  
  
  
“Y-You want me to come?”  
  
  
While they had both been more than inclusive with him when they hung out at home, they were two grades ahead of him.   
  
  
“Sure, dude,” Alex replied with a smile, “It’s not like I have to fight you off for girls.”  
  
  
Kayden’s mouth opened in surprise and JJ rolled his eyes.  
  
  
“I’m surprised we got this far without him talking about his _girlfriend_ ,” he said the word in a teasing tone, “All we hear about is _Fiona_.”  
  
  
He chuckled as Alex rolled his eyes.  
  
  
“Together they are,” JJ announced, showing off his bicep, “Flex.”  
  
  
“You’re just jealous,” Alex returned with a scoff, “I have a girlfriend _and_ my letterman jacket.”  
  
  
JJ motioned being shot in the heart.  
  
  
“Oh, low blow dude. Low blow,” he said and pretended to die before popping back up with a grin, “We’ll pick Thomas up on the way. Let’s go, boys.”  
  
  
Kayden frowned unsurely.  
  
  
“Are we allowed to go out?”  
  
  
JJ winked.  
  
  
“You leave the moms to me.”  
  
  
In the kitchen, Willow had rid herself of her half-assed costume and replaced it with a real cup of coffee. The aroma was rich and indulgent after being out in the cold for a few hours and she was enjoying just holding the warm mug in her hands and letting the steam waft under her nose.  
  
  
JJ approached and held onto the top of the door frame.  
  
  
“Momma, can I go out with the guys?”  
  
  
“Ask your mother,” Willow answered without looking up.  
  
  
“I just did,” JJ returned in a charming smile that was lost to Willow’s back.  
  
  
“Ha- _ha_ ,” Willow replied sarcastically, looking over her shoulder, “You know what I meant.”  
  
  
JJ heaved a sigh and pushed away. He found Tara upstairs, folding laundry into the dresser in hers and Willow’s room. He held onto the frame in the same way.  
  
  
“Moommmm?”  
  
  
Tara looked up and over at him and paused. She went to her nightstand and took her wallet up. She took out a $20 bill and brought it over to him.  
  
  
“I’m not saying not to tell your Momma, I’m just saying don’t flaunt it.”  
  
  
JJ clasped the bill.  
  
  
“Thanks,” he said, stuffing it into his back pocket before continuing casually, “Is it cool if we go out with the guys?”  
  
  
“Where?” Tara asked as she returned to her basket of laundry.  
  
  
“Get together for Halloween,” JJ replied with a soft shrug.  
  
  
“At school?” Tara questioned with a raised eyebrow.  
  
  
JJ shook his head slowly.  
  
  
“No…at someone’s house.”  
  
  
Tara stopped and put her hands on her hips.  
  
  
“Do I know this someone?”  
  
  
“I don’t know who you know, Mom, you know a lot of people,” JJ returned, then cowered under the look that was returned, “They’re friends of Alex.”  
  
  
“Will there be parents there?” Tara asked pointedly.  
  
  
“Yeah, probably,” JJ replied noncommittally  
  
  
“Probably?” Tara folded her arms.  
  
  
“Mom,” JJ pleaded.  
  
  
Tara pursed her lips, then let her face settle.  
  
  
“No drinking.”  
  
  
“Of course,” JJ promised easily. That wasn’t his bag; he loved basketball too much to risk getting kicked off the team.  
  
  
Tara looked him up and down.  
  
  
“And if you’re having sex, you need to be safe.”  
  
  
JJ looked like he might hurl.  
  
  
“Mom! Jesus! That’s…” his hands waved in front of him wildly, “We’re just gonna hang out and listen to some music and talk and stuff.”  
  
  
Tara threw her hands up.  
  
  
“Home by 10 pm.”  
  
  
“Aw, maw,” JJ pouted.  
  
  
Tara sighed.  
  
  
“11 and don’t push it.”  
  
  
JJ walked over and embraced Tara, tucking her head underneath his chin.  
  
  
“Love you, Mom.”  
  
  
Tara patted his back as they hugged.  
  
  
“Take care of Kayden,” she said, pulling back to look JJ in the eye, “If he wants to come home, you come home.”  
  
  
“He’s not a fragile little doll,” JJ replied dismissively.  
  
  
“Jacob,” Tara warned.  
  
  
“Okay, I get it,” JJ held his hands up.  
  
  
Tara stood on her tiptoes and kissed JJ’s nose like when he was little and would fall over and scrape his knee.  
  
  
“Thank you for including him,” she said, squeezing his upper arms, “I know he’s younger than you.”  
  
  
JJ looked sad for a moment.  
  
  
“He doesn’t have any friends, mom,” he said, shaking his head, “And he’s cool. Quiet, but cool. He should have friends.”  
  
  
Tara embraced JJ again.  
  
  
“You’re a good boy,” she said softly and pulled back to look back at him, “11. And text me the address.”  
  
  
That last instruction was a bit of a moot point because she knew Willow could track any of their children at any time (or their phones, at least) but she never approved of it unless it was absolutely necessary.  
  
  
“Will do,” JJ promised when he was almost already halfway down the stairs.  
  
  
He swung into the dining room with a grin.  
  
  
“Ready, hombres?”  
  
  
They all piled into JJ’s car and Kayden didn’t even care about being lumped in the back seat. He thought this might be the most exciting experience of his life. Riding around; parties; even just hanging out with ‘the boys’ had never been part of his routine. He never had a safe home to bring friends home to, so any relationships he formed were purely superficial.  
  
  
On the way to the house party, they picked up JJ’s friend Thomas. Kayden had met him before so they just exchanged a nod of hello and Kayden even found that small act of recognition thrilling.  
  
  
He hoped he wasn’t giving himself away and was playing it cool.  
  
  
The party was in a house in a more affluent neighborhood and while the music wasn’t too noisy outside, as soon as they went in it looked like the quintessential scene from a house party in a teen movie. Music, alcohol, even red solo cups.  
  
  
Kayden wasn’t sure he’d even been around so many people all at once before. At some point in those first few minutes, he got separated from the others, probably because he was too busy looking around to pay attention.  
  
  
For once in his life, he didn’t feel like he had to skulk off into the shadows not to be seen and while he didn’t announce himself to the whole party, he walked around and saw what was what.  
  
  
He didn’t speak to anyone but at some point, he was crowded enough with other people that a cup of beer was shoved into his hand.  
  
  
He looked down at it for a long time.  
  
  
Tony had not needed alcohol to get aggressive with him, but it didn’t hurt. The swings were less coordination but what they lacked in direction they made up for with vigor.  
  
  
He watched the beer slosh from side to side and remembered the rattle in his brain with Tony would shake him.  
  
  
He felt very little as he thought back on this.  
  
  
His therapist called it disconnection but he just thought of it as feeling numb.  
  
  
He stared down at the brown liquid for so long he thought he could pick up shapes and so was startled when JJ dropped down into the beanbag beside him and slapped his back.  
  
  
“You do not want the wrath of my mother if she smells beer on your breath,” he said, his long legs bent so his knees were almost level with his face, “I’ve heard her yell, really yell, one time, ever. It was not at me and it still terrified the crap out of me.”  
  
  
Kayden’s heart started to race.  
  
  
“I-I wasn’t…” his mouth went dry and he looked around desperately for somewhere to put the cup, “Please don’t…I don’t want…I…”  
  
  
JJ took the red solo cup and kept a calm voice and demeanor.  
  
  
“Hey man, it’s cool.”  
  
  
He put the cup on a nearby table where it was quickly swooped up by someone JJ recognized as the power forward on the varsity basketball team in his school. Ignoring him, he focused back on Kayden who looked like he might be shaking.  
  
  
“It’s cool. Between bros. You barely even drank any.”  
  
  
He hadn’t drunk any at all, in fact.  
  
  
“I-I don’t want your Momma to yell at me.”  
  
  
JJ chuckled.  
  
  
“Oh-ho, not Momma. Mom.”  
  
  
Now _that_ Kayden found hard to believe.  
  
  
“Who was she yelling at?”  
  
  
“Momma,” JJ answered, folding his arms over his knees, “It was a few years back. When Lily was little she was out of control. She knocked Mom clean out one time for a few seconds. Momma was furious, she grabbed Lily by the arm and pulled her upstairs. Mom followed telling her to let Lily go until she just lost it and screamed at her to do it. Mom is real sensitive to any of us being hurt.”  
  
  
“Because of her Dad,” Kayden nodded.  
  
  
JJ did a double-take.  
  
  
“Huh?”  
  
  
“Oh, you know,” Kayden continued and suddenly felt like he revealed something he shouldn’t, “B-Because of her Dad?”  
  
  
“Mom doesn’t…” JJ stopped, frowning deeply, “Mom has a Dad?”  
  
  
He blinked several times.  
  
  
“I mean, duh, she has a Dad, but…Grandma Lisa is dead and Nana Rose only lives like 40 minutes away…”  
  
  
“Right,” Kayden replied quickly, “I got confused.”  
  
  
“Right,” JJ nodded but didn’t seem convinced.  
  
  
Thankfully at that moment, Alex caught his eye from across the room where he was talking — or floundering depending on who you asked — to some girls from a catholic school across town. This was more than enough of a distraction for JJ.  
  
  
“You wanna go talk to those girls? Alex is about three seconds away from screaming 'Fiona' and running away from them.”  
  
  
“I guess,” Kayden replied, slightly bored then caught himself and added more gruffly, “I mean, yeah, of course.”  
  
  
They stood up together and made their way across the party.  
  
  
Kayden didn’t have the same interest as the other two in discussion with the fairer sex, but he welcomed the distraction of what the morning would bring.  
  


* * *

  
Tara took her gardening gloves off as she walked into the kitchen through the sliding doors that led to the back yard.  
  
  
Her chrysanthemums were coming along nicely and she was looking forward to having some to give to the girls to make a centerpiece for Thanksgiving.  
  
  
As she set the coffee to reheat, she spotted Kayden walking into the kitchen with his hands in the pockets of his black jeans.  
  
  
Tara smiled at him.  
  
  
“We’re becoming early morning buddies. You’re allowed to sleep in, you know. You keep up your grades and do your chores and we don’t mind how late you sleep at the weekend.”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged.  
  
  
“I was awake.”  
  
  
Tara continued to offer him a smile and poured him a glass of juice.  
  
  
“Did you have a nice night last night?”  
  
  
She knew they came in at exactly 10:59:58 because she was watching the clock and had woken up a snoring Willow to tell her they were back. Willow had just snorted and rolled over, where her glasses had fallen off her face and Tara had to get up and leave them on the nightstand to stop them being crushed.  
  
  
That was a pretty regular occurrence since Willow had taken to wearing her glasses more often as a comfort to Emily when she had to get hers and was worried about looking different.  
  
  
Kayden just nodded.  
  
  
Tara didn’t push.  
  
  
The whole ‘trusting’ aspect of their parenting approach had become so much more difficult since they’d been dealing with teenagers.  
  
  
“Would you like some breakfast? It’s Willow’s turn to do French toast when she wakes up but I can make you some scrambled eggs or a smoothie.”  
  
  
When she saw Kayden about to give his requisite refusal, she walked to the fridge and took out some eggs.  
  
  
“I’m starving after all of my gardening. Would you mind whisking some eggs for me?”  
  
  
Kayden shook his head and Tara handed him a bowl and fork along with the eggs while she got the skillet ready.  
  
  
Tara scrambled some eggs while humming and toasted some bread, serving them both up a plate in just a few minutes.  
  
  
“Thanks,” Kayden said as he used the edge of his fork as a knife to eat neatly.  
  
  
Tara ate while stealing glances at him.  
  
  
“How are you feeling about today?”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged one shoulder. Tara nodded.  
  
  
“We’ll need to leave at about 10.”  
  
  
Kayden reached up and scratched behind his ear, then glanced up at Tara.  
  
  
“Do I look okay?”  
  
  
Tara smiled easily.  
  
  
“Yes, sweetie.”  
  
  
She cupped his cheek and leaned across the island to kiss the top of his head. Kayden seemed to relax and finished up his eggs quickly.  
  
  
The house slowly began to fill with noise as the rest of the inhabitants woke up and fought over cartoons.  
  
  
When Willow lost the Spongebob argument, she came in to give Tara a kiss.  
  
  
“Good morning, baby,” she smiled, leaning her head on Tara’s shoulder, “Good morning Kayden.”  
  
  
“Morning,” Kayden said quietly.  
  
  
“Good morning,” Tara whispered, kissing Willow’s forehead, “You’re on French Toast duty.”  
  
  
“Yes,” Willow agreed with a bob of her head, “Just as soon as some sweet, sweet mocha is running through my veins.”  
  
  
“I put some ginger in it, the way you like,” Tara replied, her hand gently falling away from Willow’s waist.  
  
  
“You’re the best,” Willow smiled as the mug warmed her hands.  
  
  
JJ walked in with mussed hair and no shirt and went to drink juice from the bottle.  
  
  
“Good morning, son,” Tara smiled despite it.  
  
  
“Morning ma—” JJ stopped and promptly burped, “Morning Mom.”  
  
  
“Cover your mouth,” Willow slapped the back of her fingers against JJ’s torso, then reached up to kiss his cheek.  
  
  
“Maw,” he intoned and shook his head, “I’m hungry.”  
  
  
“You can cook us all breakfast,” Willow suggested perkily.  
  
  
“Who wants cereal?” JJ asked with a messy arched eyebrow.  
  
  
Willow rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“I’m making French Toast in a minute.”  
  
  
JJ hugged Willow from behind.  
  
  
“Thanks, Momma.”  
  
  
He squeezed Willow and released her to swing himself onto a stool to chat with Kayden.  
  
  
A few minutes later, as Willow was happily flipping breakfast, Robyn came in with an unamused look on her face.  
  
  
“Mom, will you tell Lily to stop pretending to poke me!?”  
  
  
Tara checked her watch and pushed away from the island.  
  
  
“You need to work it out yourselves, I’m taking Kayden out.”  
  
  
“Where?” Robyn’s interest was immediately piqued, “I wanna come.”  
  
  
“How about I take you to the movies instead, bean,” Willow suggested with a sly wink toward Tara, “And it’s Emily’s turn to pick so tell her to start thinking.”  
  
  
Robyn grumbled but went off to tell her. She may as well just tell Lily because Emily would choose whatever Lily wanted.  
  
  
…but Robyn was bigger and smarter than Lily.  
  
  
She grinned as she realized she could totally swing this her way with a little effort.  
  
  
“Do you want to come to the movies, Jake?” Willow asked.  
  
  
“Uh, no,” JJ averted his eyes, “I have some research to do.”  
  
  
Willow smiled proudly.  
  
  
“You’re like me when I was your age.”  
  
  
JJ looked skeptical.  
  
  
“Gramps said you were a nerd.”  
  
  
“He did not!” Willow protested indignantly.  
  
  
JJ rolled his eyes.  
  
  
“Okay, he said you were ‘bookish’.”  
  
  
“Bet he said it proudly,” Willow countered, raising her chin.  
  
  
Tara put her hand on the small of Willow’s back.  
  
  
“Hun?”  
  
  
“Yes!” Willow replied promptly and spun back around to the burner.  
  
  
“Kayden, get your jacket sweetie,” Tara said and followed him out to find her shoes.  
  
  
“Where are they going?” JJ asked Willow.  
  
  
“Just to something they need to do,” Willow answered as she took out a clean Tupperware.  
  
  
JJ frowned.  
  
  
At the front door, Kayden pulled his arms into the new rain jacket they’d bought when they discovered he had none. It was the warmest piece of clothing Kayden had ever owned.  
  
  
Willow popped out from the kitchen and brought him over the Tupperware.  
  
  
“We even provide a take-out service,” she grinned, “I know you like strawberries so I put some extra in there.”  
  
  
That was almost too much for Kayden, almost. But he was able to remain stoic and just smiled gratefully. Tara came down the stairs and kissed Willow goodbye and then she and Kayden set off in the second car so that Willow would have the minivan to bring the girls out in.  
  
  
Kayden ate quietly as they drove to the graveyard so Tara didn’t disturb him with chat or radio.  
  
  
She did glance at him though, often, and tried to gauge where he was at.  
  
  
Once they were there, they could see the gathering around the graveside.  
  
  
“I don’t want to get up close,” Kayden whispered as they crossed the street over to the graveyard from the parking lot.  
  
  
“That’s fine,” Tara whispered, “We can hang back.”  
  
  
They stood by a tree at the perimeter and watched as the casket was lowered. Tara kept her hands on Kayden’s shoulders, just holding him. He was characteristically quiet the whole time.  
  
  
When people began to dissipate, Tara gently squeezed Kayden’s shoulders. She was about to tell him that maybe that should be their cue to leave when she spotted a woman barreling toward them.  
  
  
With her dark hair, dark eyes, and symmetrical jawline, there was no denying the family resemblance.  
  
  
She knew it was Kayden’s aunt.  
  
  
“This is all your fault you pussy piece of shit—” she started to splutter at Kayden, only to direct her tirade at Tara when she put her arm in front of him, “Don’t act like you’re better than me. You just keep him for the cash too.”  
  
  
“That is not true,” she said emphatically, though to Kayden’s face, not Roxy’s, “We should go.”  
  
  
Roxy was seething and tried to reach past Tara to grab Kayden’s shirt. Tara had to step right in between them.  
  
  
“I have a direct line to the FBI, I can have them here in minutes.”  
  
  
“Real classy, calling the cops on a funeral,” Roxy sneered.  
  
  
Tara took Kayden’s arm, not a grab but insistent enough to make sure he followed.  
  
  
“Kayden, we’re leaving.”  
  
  
Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Roxy roll back on her heels like she was deciding whether to follow or not but eventually just slapped her hand against the tree in anger.  
  
  
“My sister would hate me for raising a faggot snitch like you!”  
  
  
Tara bundled Kayden into the car as quickly as she could and drove two blocks around the corner before parking up on the curb again.  
  
  
She was always careful with Kayden not to touch him unless he seemed receptive and could see it coming, but this time she reached across the center console and hugged him as tight as she could.  
  
  
“Honey, the language she used was not okay. You’re not deserving of it. It is all a reflection of her, not you. You were a brave boy today. She’s the one who showed complete cowardice.”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes were down but he slowly looked up. When he did, his eyes were filled with tears.  
  
  
Suddenly he didn’t feel so numb anymore.  
  
  
He felt scared and hurt and angry.  
  
  
But not at himself.  
  
  
He burst into tears and sought out Tara’s embrace again, which was readily given.  
  
  
“Darling,” she comforted softly, holding his head.  
  
  
He cried and cried and cried, so much so that Tara’s shirt was more wet than dry. Tara just let him, occasionally pressing a small kiss on top of his ear.  
  
  
Finally, it came to a pause and he pulled away with a quiet sniffle and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.  
  
  
Tara let him gather himself before speaking to him.  
  
  
“What do you want to do honey? We can do whatever you want.”  
  
  
Kayden pulled at the end of his sleeve, eyes downcast.  
  
  
“Do you think they all went to the movies yet?”  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“I doubt it. Probably still in their jammies.”  
  
  
Kayden paused and his eyes slowly made their way toward Tara’s.  
  
  
“Can we go home?”  
  
  
Tara smiled, despite everything.  
  
  
He’d said ‘home’.  
  
  
She nodded.  
  
  
“Let’s go home.”


	7. Chapter 7

  
“Wow, girls.”  
  
  
Tara bent down to appropriately admire the centerpiece that Robyn, Lily, and Emily were assembling for the dinner table.  
  
  
“This looks great.”  
  
  
They’d made a felt turkey with multiple paper fans to depict its tail. Each fan was in a different color, making a rainbow.  
  
  
“Because we’re an ell-emm-enn-pee family!” Lily explained brightly.  
  
  
“It’s LGBT dumba—” Robyn started to retort, but backpedaled quickly when she saw Tara’s face, “Doof…”  
  
  
She pursed her lips and wracked her brain.  
  
  
“Silly billy?”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes glanced away for a moment.  
  
  
“When Lily was little she called herself a Lily Billy when she was playing up,” she recalled fondly and Robyn knew by the power of nostalgia that she was forgiven, or at least forgotten.  
  
  
“I’m glad I’m not Lily Billy, I like Lily Lisa,” Lily said, bouncing on her knees as they all sat around the coffee table surrounding their turkey with flowers and other decorations, “Is Nana Rose coming for Thanksgiving?”  
  
  
Tara straightened up gracefully.  
  
  
“We’re having dinner alone but all of your grandparents are coming over later on in the day.”  
  
  
“M-Mommy, can I have a snack?” Emily looked up through her thick, square glasses.  
  
  
“Of course you can,” Tara answered with a smile, “I’ll bring you girls in something to eat while you work.”  
  
  
“We’re working girls!” Lily beamed proudly.  
  
  
Robyn snickered.  
  
  
Tara frowned disapprovingly and went through to the kitchen so she could make them a snack. The first thing she did was turn on the oven to bake some apple chips in the background so there would be a quick snack on hand if needed later. She used her trusty mandoline to get thin slices quickly and spread them out on the baking tray which she put back into the oven to cook.  
  
  
She then took out ingredients to make various animal faces from bread or crackers. On the plate she had a school of goldfish crackers swim toward a collection of blueberries.  
  
  
“Whose coming to visit?” Willow asked as she walked in and went to the cabinet to get a glass so she could pour water from the fridge.  
  
  
“Nobody,” Tara answered as she cut a grape in half to make owl eyes.  
  
  
Willow’s glass made a clunking sound as the ice bashed off each other.   
  
  
“What’s with the spread?”  
  
  
“The girls are hungry,” Tara replied with a smile down at her creations.  
  
  
Willow’s eyes cast back and forth.  
  
  
“So throw a Lunchable out on a fancy plate if you want it to look pretty. They won’t know any different.”  
  
  
“Funnily enough I’m actually happy to make our children healthy snacks,” Tara replied wryly, “And you know I don’t buy those things.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes fell to Tara’s hands, which were chopping cucumber into thin slices. Tara’s fingers curled beneath the top of the blade and her wrist rhythmically rose and fell without ever releasing the handle.  
  
  
“This may be a little out of left field but your knife work is really turning me on.”  
  
  
Tara arched one eyebrow and smiled crookedly in Willow’s direction. Willow’s head bobbed in slow, equal time to Tara’s wrist.  
  
  
“I think it’s the gentle bounce against the board,” she said in a hypnotized tone, “Up and down and up and down and up and down and—”  
  
  
Tara suddenly dropped the knife and Willow didn’t know why until her hand was tugged and they ran into the laundry room and locked the door behind them.  
  
  
The door didn’t open again, though it did rattle a little, until suddenly the smoke alarm started blaring loudly.  
  
  
Willow and Tara ran back out of the laundry room with red faces, tucking their skewed clothing back in. Smoke was coming from the oven and when Tar opened the door it billowed out with her apple chips burnt to a crisp inside. She swore under her breath and grabbed a dishcloth to take the baking tray out to toss in the sink, then began waving the cloth at the smoke alarm.  
  
  
Robyn walked in and sighed like the weight of the world was on her shoulders.  
  
  
“Did you burn our snack?”  
  
  
“It wasn’t even m—” Willow started to defend, then decided to take the fall for her wife’s sake and did a speedy run to the back of the fridge where she grabbed a Lunchable and shoved it at Robyn, “My secret stash. Hide the evidence!”  
  
  
Robyn just shrugged and walked back out as Tara finally got the alarm silenced.  
  
  
As she was puffing out a breath of relief, Kayden appeared in the doorway, concerned.  
  
  
“Is everything okay?”  
  
  
“It’s fine, Kayden,” Tara reassured softly.  
  
  
“Feel like some burnt apple?” Willow grinned, “It’s the latest craze. You’ll see in your lattes and your cupcakes before winter is out!”  
  
  
Kayden awkwardly shuffled from one foot to the next.  
  
  
“Um…”  
  
  
“She’s joking sweetheart,” Tara relieved him and pushed the plate she’d been making across the island, “You can have an owl cracker if you’d like.”  
  
  
Kayden took one and smiled.  
  
  
“It’s cute. Thanks.”  
  
  
Tara patted his hand and Willow took a look around.  
  
  
“Where’s JJ?”  
  
  
“Upstairs,” Kayden replied as he nibbled on his cracker.  
  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
  
“I’ve never heard him be this quiet in his life.”  
  
  
“He was on his computer with his earbuds in,” Kayden replied with a shrug.  
  
  
“Ah,” Tara shared a knowing look with Willow.  
  
  
“Oh,” she added, looking down.  
  
  
Tara pushed the plate at Willow.  
  
  
“Will you take the rest of these into the girls?”  
  
  
“They already—” Willow started but promptly shut herself up, “Yep. Yes, I will.”  
  
  
Willow left with the various animal treats that made her crave real animal crackers while Tara started to properly dispose of the mess she’d made of the apples.  
  
  
“Are you looking forward to Thanksgiving, Kayden?”  
  
  
When there was no response, Tara glanced over her shoulder and saw Kayden was figuring out how to answer the question. She could guess why.  
  
  
“Have you ever celebrated it before?”  
  
  
Kayden slowly shook his head and Tara just smiled back easily.  
  
  
“Well, we usually watch the parade on TV and then we meet up with our friends in the park. The kids and some of the adults play football, but it’s not very serious. Then we come home to eat and later all of the grandparents come over for pie,” she explained in a simple tone, “Nothing for you to worry about. I’ll be the only one stressed out, trying to pull the meal together.”  
  
  
“I’ll help,” Kayden offered immediately.  
  
  
Tara smiled at him again.  
  
  
“Oh, you’re so sweet.”  
  
  
A minute or so of silence passed, then Kayden popped up curiously.  
  
  
“Are you making that thing where you put marshmallows on the sweet potatoes?”  
  
  
“Oh yes,” Tara nodded back, “It’s one of our favorites.”  
  
  
Kayden gave a little smile.  
  
  
“I’ve seen it on TV.”  
  
  
“Anything else you’ve seen that you’d like to try?” Tara asked as nonchalantly as she could.  
  
  
Kayden thought for another minute.  
  
  
“Do you really stuff things up the bird’s butt and then eat it?”  
  
  
“We do,” Tara laughed, then winked, “And it’s delicious. Just wait and see.”  
  
  
Kayden blushed lightly.  
  
  
“I trust you.”  
  
  
Tara went over and kissed Kayden on the forehead.  
  
  
He felt no hesitation in leaning in.  
  


* * *

  
“There’s Snoopy!”  
  
  
Woofy barked at the television screen.  
  
  
“W-Woofy loves Snoopy,” Emily said cheerily as she petted Woofy from where she was sitting on the floor.  
  
  
“That’s ‘cause Woofs is part beagle,” JJ said from the beanbag behind her.  
  
  
“He’s been in the parade since before I was even born!” Willow said knowledgeably, sitting on the couch with her arm around Tara’s shoulders.  
  
  
“We know Momma,” Robyn intoned from where she was sitting in an armchair with her legs hanging over the arm.  
  
  
“You tell us every year,” Lily sighed deeply, sitting at an almost perfectly parallel angle to Emily.  
  
  
Willow pouted in her seat.  
  
  
“You were almost called Linus, you know,” she said in a tone that was both petulant and informational, “If you were a boy.”  
  
  
“You would _not_ have been called Linus,” Tara added in assuredly.  
  
  
Lily swung her head around, concerned at this development.  
  
  
“What _would_ I have been called if I was a boy?”  
  
  
Willow and Tara looked at each other.  
  
  
“Well…” Tara started, “We liked that your names end in ‘ILY’ because it means—”  
  
  
“I love you,” Lily, Emily, Robyn, and JJ all said together in a slightly bored tone.  
  
  
“Yes,” Tara replied, keeping her chin high, “So perhaps we would have named you two…Bailey and Riley…with a little variation on the spelling.”  
  
  
Lily’s nose scrunched distastefully and Emily didn’t exactly look impressed either, though she hid it better.  
  
  
“Then again, we named Lily after a particular flower, so maybe we would have gone with Oakley or Hawthorne,” Willow smiled at Tara.  
  
  
“And Emily came from my mother reading me Emily Dickinson as a child,” Tara smiled back, “So maybe Richard. And Emmet was thrown around with Linus…”  
  
  
“Do me!” Robyn remarked, suddenly very interested in the conversation, “Did you have boy names for me?”  
  
  
“We didn’t start talking about it until we knew you were a girl,” Willow replied, thinking back, “It took a while for us to find a name for you. It wasn’t until that little robin landed on my belly that we knew. So honestly, you’d probably be Robin.”  
  
  
Robyn considered that then shrugged, satisfied.  
  
  
“My name is cool anyway.”  
  
  
“Well we already know you half-assed my name,” JJ scoffed teasingly.  
  
  
“Jacob,” Tara quietly chided his swearing in front of the girls.  
  
  
“We did not half-ass it,” Willow returned indignantly and Tara rolled her eyes, “We had to think of it quickly but we chose names that we thought suited you.”  
  
  
JJ arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Technically just the same name twice.”  
  
  
“Oh no, we gave you a talking point for a name, we’re the worst parents in the world,” Willow said in a mocking tone, “You were JJ first so maybe you would have been…Josie Joy!”  
  
  
JJ grimaced.  
  
  
“A direct road to stripper-dom.”  
  
  
“Jacob!” Tara chastised louder.  
  
  
“We all know what strippers are, Mom,” Robyn replied, deadpan and looked over to Tara with one of her piercingly bright-blue stares, “And sex workers do not deserve your derision.”  
  
  
Tara found herself blushing and held a hand up.  
  
  
“I wasn’t…”  
  
  
Willow grabbed Tara’s hand and held it tight.  
  
  
“And if Kayden had been a girl…” she quickly moved them on, “Hmm…I’m going to go with…Brina!”  
  
  
Kayden seemed surprised to be addressed, as he had just been sitting in a beanbag in the opposite corner, quietly.  
  
  
“It’s a Yiddish word for ‘brown’,” Willow explained when she misinterpreted the look on his face, “I think that’s all we’d be able to think about when we saw those big brown eyes of yours.”  
  
  
Tara looked over to him and smiled too.  
  
  
“I was on the same page as you, I was thinking Hazel.”  
  
  
“Yours is better,” Willow agreed with a quick nod, “I definitely would have deferred to you on that one.”  
  
  
Kayden reached across and held his opposite shoulder; a tactic he often did just to seem smaller.  
  
  
“W-What if you had me just as…me?”  
  
  
Both Willow and Tara caught the longing in his tone and it both broke their hearts and put it back together.  
  
  
Willow looked over to Tara to take the question seriously.  
  
  
“We would have had to go Hebrew, for my dad,” she said and stared at Tara for a long moment before it came to her. She smiled back at Kayden, “Caleb. It means ‘wholehearted’.”  
  
  
“But keep the K,” Tara added with a cheerful smile, “I think it’s funky.”  
  
  
All of the kids except Kayden groaned.  
  
  
“Don’t say funky, Mom,” JJ shook his head with a grimace.  
  
  
“I like Kaleb with a K,” Willow said to Tara with a haughty smile and they came together for a kiss.  
  
  
There were more groans and JJ turned the television up so they could all just watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and not have to acknowledge the fact that their parents were making out.  
  
  
In the corner, Kayden hugged his knees and smiled.  
  
  
“I like it too,” he whispered, not loud enough to be heard by anyone or anything but his own heart.  
  
  
“I need to check on the turkey,” Tara said and quietly got up to go into the kitchen. On the way she put her hand on Kayden’s shoulder and bent down to whisper to him “Stay and watch the parade. You can help me later when we’re ready to serve. That’s when it gets really busy.”  
  
  
Kayden smiled gratefully.  
  
  
He actually had seen some of the parades in previous years, while his uncle was waiting for the football to start, but it wasn’t like this. And he was lucky to get a turkey TV dinner shoved in his lap while obscenities were yelled at the television. It was also a prime example of when Kayden was overtly reminded that it was only okay to get that close to another man when there was an oblong-shaped ball involved.  
  
  
Being in a two-mom family was starting to dispel some of those notions but he still had a ‘block’ in his head that it was the same for two men. He also still felt slightly uncomfortable when he saw Willow and Tara kiss, but judging from all of the other kids’ reactions, this was entirely normal.  
  
  
When the parade ended, everyone naturally got up to don their shoes and coats and so Kayden did the same. He remembered what Tara had told him about how their holiday usually went, so he gathered they were off to the park.  
  
  
Tara finished up in the kitchen a short while later and got her own coat on while JJ got Woofy’s leash on his harness.  
  
  
They all walked to the park together, passing lots of other walking families on the way. Tara loved this annual walk; she looked forward to it all year as both the familial and autumnal vibes were still strong and promised a wind-swept outing with happiness in the air. She loved to see her family’s love-swept cheeks as they met with all of their friends.  
  
  
“Hey, Wills!” Xander called out, the first to see them approach, “Did you see Snoopy?”  
  
  
Willow smiled smugly at her children.  
  
  
“I sure did, Xan!”  
  
  
The girls, including Pixie, all ran off to chase each other around the trees, and JJ, Alex, and Kayden were about to break off to go into the basketball court when they spotted Jesse and Ella approaching, curiously with Alice right beside them.  
  
  
Of course, barreling out in front of them was Aurelius.  
  
  
Jesse’s black and tan German Shepherd Aurelius — or Aurey most of the time unless she was getting into the kitchen cabinets — was just over a year old and though she had at least 60 pounds on Woofy, they were the best of pals. Woofy had the advantage of being able to weave in and out of Aurey’s legs and was much lower to the ground when it came to catching a ball, which produced a reaction in Aurey something between amusement and frustration. When Aurey saw Woofy, she pulled so hard on her leash that she broke it clear out of Jesse’s hand, who wasn’t exactly a weakling.  
  
  
“Aurey, heel!” Jesse called, to know use, though Aurey did stop once she was able to come and sniff hello to Woofy.  
  
  
Xander picked up the leash helpfully until Jesse could jog over.  
  
  
“Thanks, man,” he said, shaking his head, “She’ll get it one of these days. Ella keeps giving her treats!”  
  
  
“I do not,” Ella came up behind her father indignantly, “You do!”  
  
  
“He did used to give Ella five Flintstones gummies a day when she was little,” Alice added in wryly from Jesse’s side.  
  
  
“Yeah, well, big eyes break my heart,” Jesse joked, though his eyes cast a momentary glance at Alice, who’s big eyes looked down.  
  
  
“Uncle Jesse, you wanna play pick-up?” JJ asked, nodding in Jesse’s direction.  
  
  
“I note they never asked me,” Xander said good-naturedly as he smiled boyishly.  
  
  
“You need to be able to bounce the ball more than six inches off the ground,” Jesse teased as he patted his friend's back while following the boys to the court.  
  
  
“He has a misunderstanding of what constitutes six inches,” Anya piped up and Xander’s cheeks flushed.  
  
  
She looked at Alice and nodded once.  
  
  
“Haven’t seen you in a while. Where’s your boyfriend? He was boring but had lots of money, so I understand why you’re banging him even though Xander says he doesn’t get it.”  
  
  
“Ahn,” Xander cursed under his breath, “That’s not…”  
  
  
“We’re not together anymore,” Alice supplied while clearing her throat.  
  
  
“Are you back with Jesse?” Anya asked and didn’t give Alice a chance to answer, “That’s surprising. I was always impressed with how much you were able to emasculate him.”  
  
  
“Al, you want to set up the hot chocolate?” Tara interjected quickly.  
  
  
“Please,” Alice nodded and was quick on Tara’s heels to follow her.  
  
  
Tara retrieved the backpack that JJ had carried from the house and brought it over to a nearby bench. She unzipped the bag and took out the gallon-sized insulated flask and the stack of reusable party cups inside.  
  
  
“ _Are_ you back with Jesse?” Tara asked with an arched eyebrow as she handed Alice the cups.  
  
  
“We just arrived together. Coincidence,” Alice held up her hands, then added on with a small smile, “We are having Thanksgiving dinner together though. For Ella.”  
  
  
“For Ella,” Tara repeated knowingly.  
  
  
Slowly the other adults made their way over to the bench and everyone started to congregate there. Becky and Brian arrived first with pumpkin Pez’s for the kids and a few minutes later Buffy arrived with Liam dressed up in a turkey jumpsuit.  
  
  
“Sorry I’m late, guys,” Buffy said as she set Liam down to toddle over to everyone, “Wrangling the kiddo on my own.”  
  
  
“No Angel?” Willow asked.  
  
  
Buffy shook her head.  
  
  
“He’s waiting on an old friend of his he invited for dinner. The friend got tied up.”  
  
  
Liam got to them all and launched himself at Tara’s leg.  
  
  
“Aunty Ta-Ta!”  
  
  
“Hello cutie,” Tara picked him up and tickled his chin; his face being the only exposed part of him.  
  
  
Willow threw her thumb in Tara’s direction.  
  
  
“He calls her that and he’s a cutie, I call her that and I have to sleep on the couch.”  
  
  
Everyone laughed and Liam basked in it.  
  
  
He was quite happy to stay with Tara as everyone broke off to play their annual football game, which was less of a structured game and more of a free-for-all for whatever sport or whimsy anyone had the inclination to do with a broad focus on getting the ball to one end or another.  
  
  
Tara sat on the bench and clapped Liam’s hands any time Willow or Buffy scored.  
  
  
“Yay Mommy,” Tara clapped his little hands together, “Yay Aunty Willow.”  
  
  
“Ay, ay!” Liam agreed, bouncing on Tara’s knee, “Mah-mee! Wih-whoa!”  
  
  
“Weren’t you a cheerleader in high school?” Willow grinned at Buffy, “Your son is taking after you.”  
  
  
“There’s worse traits he could pick up,” Buffy returned with a grin as she caught the ball and almost crushed it with her grip.  
  
  
The game didn’t really have an ending, more of a mutual agreement of calling a truce fueled by a desire for hot chocolate. Tara handed out the cups and people served themselves so she could go off and collect leaves with Liam. When they returned, Liam dutifully gave everyone their own leaf while saying ‘luf, Leem’ each and every time.  
  
  
Buffy gave Tara a long, grateful hug as she took him back and had Liam give her a big kiss.  
  
  
Everyone naturally dissipated with the need to go back to their own homes to organize dinner.  
  
  
Willow and Tara brought their brood home but Tara hung back to walk with Kayden.  
  
  
“You were good at the game. I was watching.”  
  
  
Kayden blushed.  
  
  
“I don’t play sports.”  
  
  
“I don’t think it counts as ‘sport’ the way our family does it,” Tara grinned.  
  
  
Kayden grinned back.  
  
  
In fact, that game of football-whatever was the most confident he’d ever felt with a ball in his hand.  
  
  
“I had fun.”  
  
  
“Glad to hear it,” Tara returned, bumping Kayden’s shoulder, “Now comes the real event. Please do not judge my other children or my wife on the amount of food you’re going to see them eat. Better yet – join in. But remember, there’s always dessert.”  
  
  
Kayden smiled softly.  
  
  
“I’ll remember.”  
  
  
Tara liked how much she’d been seeing that smile lately.  
  
  
When they got home it was time to pull the meal together. Willow and Tara had it down to a fine art in how to coordinate the last difficult few minutes but Tara sensed Kayden really wanted to help, so she got him to wash some pots so the sauces didn’t set on them. It wasn’t an inconvenience; she knew how important it was to feel useful.  
  
  
Once everyone was around the table and hungry eyes were flitting from golden turkey to buttery potatoes to the bronzed marshmallows atop the sweet potato casserole, Tara held her hands out either side and everyone naturally joined hands until they were in a loop.  
  
  
Tara smiled around at everyone.  
  
  
“I would like to announce that as of yesterday, we have officially been approved as Kayden’s foster parents,” she leaned in conspiringly toward Kayden, “Brandon was going to tell you yesterday but I asked if I could have the honor.”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes shone with something that hadn’t often been present there; hope.  
  
  
“W-What does that mean?” Emily asked from the other side of the table.  
  
  
“Well, it means Kayden officially lives with us,” Tara explained a soft smile and a wink for Willow, who smiled back the same way.  
  
  
“Kayden’s lived with us for months,” Lily replied in confusion.  
  
  
“Yeah, what’s the diff?” Robyn shrugged.  
  
  
“Well…nothing really,” Willow answered, but still smiled, “But it’s official.”  
  
  
“Sounds like boring adult paperwork BS,” Robyn dismissed.  
  
  
“Robyn,” Tara warned gently.  
  
  
“What? Some piece of paper doesn’t make him any more part of the family,” Robyn retorted and Kayden’s gaze dropped.  
  
  
“Robyn!” Willow scolded loudly.  
  
  
“WHAT!?” Robyn replied in the same tone, “I’m just saying we don’t need some signature on a piece of paper to know he belongs here!”  
  
  
Kayden inhaled audibly and looked back up with that little bit of hope creeping in.  
  
  
“It gives us more security,” Tara answered in a firm tone.  
  
  
“Oh,” Robyn replied quietly.  
  
  
“You don’t know everything just because you think you do,” Willow said tersely, then looked pained in Tara’s direction as she lowered her voice, “God help me, I just sounded like my mother.”  
  
  
“Let’s eat everyone,” Tara cut in before they had a typical holiday family fight before even carving the turkey, “First, Emily, would you like to start our thanks?”  
  
  
Emily nudged her glasses up on her nose but when they started to fall again, Kayden reached over from his spot beside her and helped her get them secure behind her ear. Emily beamed up at him as she retook his hand.  
  
  
“I’m thankful for, um…for Kayden,” she admitted bashfully, “B-Because he helps me fix my glasses and he draws with me and always says my drawings are really good. And that he’s fosters with us now, ‘ficially.”  
  
  
Kayden looked like he might cry.  
  
  
“I’m thankful for Kayden too,” Willow chimed in, “Because he shows me how to be strong every day.”  
  
  
“I’m thankful for Kayden!” Lily added, never one to be left out, “Because, because! Because he listens all the time even when I talk for a long, long time when I forget to push my stop button!”  
  
  
“I’m thankful for Kayden,” Robyn looked up in a rare show of humbleness, “Because he’s teaching me how to shred on guitar.”  
  
  
“I’m thankful for Kayden,” JJ smiled easily across the table, “For giving me some company up in that big old attic.”  
  
  
“I’m thankful for Kayden,” Tara finished softly, “Because he’s brought more love into our home.”  
  
  
She smiled at each and every person around the table again.  
  
  
“Just like I love and am thankful for every single one of you around the table. We wouldn’t be a family without each other.”  
  
  
Just before she was going to announce they eat, Kayden piped up quietly.  
  
  
“I’m thankful that you all found me.”  
  
  
Because they all had, in different ways.  
  
  
JJ had found him physically and brought him here.  
  
  
Tara had found him emotionally, tapping into something in him straight away that allowed him to open up in a way he never had been able to before.  
  
  
Willow didn’t know it, but when she’d given Kayden a new guitar after just knowing him a couple of days, she’d found his trust in humanity again.  
  
  
Robyn had helped him find his belief in himself again by teaching her guitar and Lily had helped him find joy for life that he hadn’t known existed. Emily had helped him find his love of art again and to tap into his eye for architecture, for the first time giving him an idea of a future.  
  
  
Even Woofy had helped him find a capacity for unconditional love.  
  
  
Willow smiled and glanced at Tara on her way to looking at Kayden.  
  
  
“We always find each other,” she said resolutely, “Now pass the mashed potatoes before you savages take it all.”  
  
  
JJ suddenly jumped up from his seat.  
  
  
“WAIT!” he said, loud enough to startle, “Can I be thankful for one more thing?”  
  
  
“You can be thankful for as many things as you like,” Tara offered sincerely.  
  
  
“Unless it’s going to take so long that everything goes cold,” Willow added.  
  
  
Tara nudged Willow, who just smiled back.  
  
  
“Kidding…kinda. Potatoes cool quick.”  
  
  
“I’ll just be a minute!” JJ proclaimed as he ran out the door.  
  
  
He was so giddy and excited and had been for a couple of days now. Willow had thought it was excitement about Thanksgiving. That boy loved to eat and Tara made the best eats going.  
  
  
Kayden was smiling now too, as wide as Willow had ever seen it. Something was definitely going on.  
  
  
When JJ came back in, everyone screamed.  
  
  
Willow was lost.  
  
  
He didn’t look any different except that he was wearing a sports jacket.  
  
  
“You’re thankful for… Dick’s Sporting Goods?”  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara clicked her tongue and jumped up to hug JJ.  
  
  
“What?” Willow asked, frowning that she seemed to be the only one out of the loop.  
  
  
“He got his letter jacket, Momma!” Robyn exclaimed and only withheld the ‘duh’ because she knew she was still on thin ice.  
  
  
“Oh!” Willow replied with a keen surprise.  
  
  
Tara took JJ’s face in her hands and kissed both cheeks.  
  
  
“I’m so proud of you.”  
  
  
“Thanks, Mom,” JJ said with uncharacteristic bashfulness.  
  
  
Tara pulled on each side of the jacket and patted the letters sitting on the pocket.  
  
  
“When’s your first game with your jacket?”  
  
  
“We don’t actually wear them on the court, Mom,” JJ replied with a modest shrug, “Next Friday.”  
  
  
“We’ll be there,” Tara promised, pulling the lapels on his jacket gently, “We’ll _all_ be there.”  
  
  
“Of course we will,” Willow added and stood up to walk over to him, “I’m sorry I find it so hard to keep up with all of your sports stuff. The day you were born you made me a Momma and every day since you’ve made me a proud one.”  
  
  
“Momma…” JJ intoned, embarrassed but was smiling, pleased all the same.  
  
  
“Son,” Willow replied as she reached onto the table to get the electric carving knife, “You’ve earned this.”  
  
  
JJ’s eyes lit up. He flicked the switch and started to wave the thing about like a chainsaw.  
  
  
Willow awkwardly waved her hands about until he stopped it and she took it back.  
  
  
“Okay,” she said, handing him the nearest gravy instead, “You’ve earned refilling the gravy boat.”  
  
  
JJ looked down at it sadly.  
  
  
“It’s not even empty.”  
  
  
“What can I tell you, it’s an evolving role,” Willow replied with a shrug, then pressed a kiss onto JJ’s cheek, “But you are the apple of our eyes. Well done. You deserve it.”  
  
  
JJ smiled softly and it turned sheepish.  
  
  
“I still can’t cut the turkey, can I?”  
  
  
“Wait until you have seven mouths to feed and see how eager you are for the turkey to be wasted,” Willow retorted playfully.  
  
  
“I’ll eat wonky turkey!” Lily offered, jumping on her seat with her hand held high.  
  
  
“Me too!” Robyn nodded eagerly.  
  
  
“M-me three!” Emily said with a gentle, adoring smile for her big brother.  
  
  
Kayden just smiled; any turkey was an improvement on previous Thanksgivings.  
  
  
Willow threw her hands up.  
  
  
“Wonky turkey for everybody!” she announced as she sat back in beside Tara and leaned in to whisper in her ear, “At least they didn’t call it cock-eyed. That would put me right off my food.”  
  
  
Tara pressed her nose into Willow and grinned.  
  
  
“This will sweeten you up.”  
  
  
She pressed her lips to Willow’s softly and lingered.  
  
  
“It’s not fair that you guys are grossing us out when we’re gonna eat,” Lily piped up with a disgusted look on her face and Robyn mouthed ‘thank you’.  
  
  
Tara waved a hand in front of her flushing cheeks.  
  
  
“We’ll stop.”  
  
  
JJ fired up the carving knife again but a quick glance from Tara put heed to his acting out any Leatherface fantasies.  
  
  
His carving was a bit wonky, but truly, weren’t most things in life?  
  
  
“I for one think the sound of metal on bones is a delightful soundtrack for Thanksgiving,” Robyn said with a definitive nod of her head, “It reminds me of the screams of the indigenous people when—”  
  
  
“Now who sounds like my mother?” Willow muttered.  
  
  
Tara took Willow’s hand under the table and looked at Robyn.  
  
  
“Sweetheart, you know we all agree with you and that’s why we don’t thank the pilgrims, the founding fathers, or any other colonizers. Why we donate to the American Indian College Fund and buy as many ingredients for dinner as possible from native-owned businesses. Would you like to read to us from one of your books by indigenous persons?”  
  
  
Robyn looked a bit stricken.  
  
  
“I kinda want to eat my mac’n’cheese.”  
  
  
“You’re allowed to enjoy it, kiddo,” Willow said gently, “Everyone is allowed to enjoy it. Mom worked her as— _butt_ off, so maybe we have some thanks for Mom?”  
  
  
There was a chorus of ‘thanks you’s and ‘thanks, mom’ and Tara smiled.  
  
  
“Everyone is very welcome. Eat up.”  
  
  
Willow popped a kiss under Tara’s ear.  
  
  
“Don’t worry, your butt just looks even better after all that working out.”  
  
  
“We can hear you,” JJ said loudly.  
  
  
“Let the children enjoy the meal without violating their minds,” Tara said quietly and shot Willow a crooked grin, “There’ll be enough violating later.”  
  
  
JJ’s fork hit his plate and he groaned.  
  
  
“I don’t even know what you’re saying,” Lily supplied helpfully as she took a big spoonful of creamed corn.  
  
  
“I do,” Robyn replied glumly.  
  
  
“I forgot the cornbread,” Tara announced and suddenly everyone was perky again at the thoughts of it coming fresh from the oven.  
  
  
After a thoroughly enjoyed dinner, where the moms just about managed to not completely embarrass their children, Tara almost had to physically pull Kayden into the living room to relax; telling him the dishes could wait.  
  
  
JJ had the football on but the girls were jumping about playing in front of the TV so he was only casting furtive glances at it. His belly was too full to even think about sports, honestly.  
  
  
Rose was the first of the grandparents to arrive and after giving her a big hug and wishing her a happy Thanksgiving, Tara made sure to make the introduction to Kayden before the rest of the kids, the girls especially, jumped on her.  
  
  
“Kayden, this is Rose. She was my mother’s wife.”  
  
  
She saw Kayden’s eyes widened but he recovered quickly.  
  
  
She was going to make a joke about all of the gayness in the family but she wasn’t sure if Kayden was up for that kind of thing yet.  
  
  
“It’s nice to meet you,” Kayden shook Rose’s hand a bit nervously but warmly.  
  
  
“It’s lovely to meet you, Kayden,” Rose returned, closing her other hand around Kayden’s too, “Tara’s grandmother’s name was Kaydence. I’m sure she’s told you that.”  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“I hadn’t, actually. I’d forgotten.”  
  
  
“You never did get to meet them,” Rose said sadly.  
  
  
Before anybody could say anything else, Tara’s prediction came through and Lily and Emily came swinging out of Rose from either side.  
  
  
“Nana Rose, come look at our centerpiece!” Lily started to pull her away,  
  
  
“We used crys-amma-mums!” Emily said as she swung Rose’s hand and skipped along to follow.  
  
  
“I put in echinacea,” Robyn added as she hurried up to show off her portion, “It’s a traditional healing herb by many Indigenous tribes.”  
  
  
About twenty minutes later, Ira and Michelle arrived and Willow welcomed them with a hug and a kiss.  
  
  
“Everyone is in the living room. Pie is a-comin’!”  
  
  
The girls swarmed Ira and Michelle as they came in and JJ was able to sneak over to Rose. She put her arm around him and gave him a squeeze.  
  
  
“How’s my boy?”  
  
  
JJ happily rested his head on Rose’s shoulder. He had no memory of a time when she wasn’t in their life. He turned to look toward her.  
  
  
“When did you meet Grandma Lisa?”  
  
  
Rose smiled fondly.  
  
  
“We were young, like your parents.”  
  
  
JJ’s brow furrowed.  
  
  
“Wasn’t it hard, like, being together and having a baby in those days?” he asked with a concerned look in his eyes, “And how come Mom doesn’t call you Mom?”  
  
  
“Oh,” Rose replied, completely taken by surprise, “Um, have you spoken to your mother about this honey?”  
  
  
On the other couch, the twins were fighting to be the one to sit on Ira’s lap while Robyn had her legs swung over Michelle and was cuddled into her side so Michelle could play with Robyn’s hair.  
  
  
“You three are coming to us tomorrow so your parents can go out for their wedding anniversary, are you excited?”  
  
  
Kayden turned to Tara shyly.  
  
  
“H-How long have you been married?”  
  
  
“Seventeen years,” Tara replied with a wink in Willow’s direction, “We got married about six months before we had JJ.”  
  
  
“Is ‘had’ the right term?” Robyn called out, narrowing her eyes, “Isn’t it more like…‘got’? You _had_ me, or Momma did. But you _got_ him.”  
  
  
“Clearly pedantry is passed on in the womb,” Tara said under her breath.  
  
  
“I heard that,” Willow and Robyn said at the same time.  
  
  
“Where would you girls like to go?” Ira interjected quickly, “What about the zoo?”  
  
  
Robyn frowned deeply.  
  
  
“Ganpy it’s unethical to keep wild animals locked up away from their natural habitats for people to stare at for their own amusement.”  
  
  
Ira seemed a bit shocked.  
  
  
“You loved the zoo when you were little.”  
  
  
Robyn sighed like the weight of her world was on her shoulders.  
  
  
“I hadn’t developed a social conscience then.”  
  
  
“Oh, I see,” Ira said, floundering a bit, “Well. What do you suggest we do?”  
  
  
Robyn’s eyes lit up.  
  
  
“We could write to our local representatives to encourage them to help end period poverty.”  
  
  
“Oh. Well,” Ira was well and truly flapping now, “What about mini golf?”  
  
  
“Can we go to the museum of science, Zayde?” Lily interjected and never had Willow seen color fill her father’s face faster.  
  
  
“Excellent,” he declared with a righteous nod.  
  
  
“Can Kayden come?” Emily piped up, eyes smiling behind her glasses which made Kayden smile too.  
  
  
“If he’d like to,” Ira smiled easily at the boy, “Jacob can come too.”  
  
  
JJ shook his head.  
  
  
“Can’t. Basketball.”  
  
  
“Kayden?” Ira asked encouragingly.  
  
  
Kayden blushed with all eyes on him.  
  
  
“It sounds cool.”  
  
  
“Fantastic,” Ira grinned, on the right foot again.  
  
  
Tara caught Willow’s eye for them to go organize pie.  
  
  
“JJ?” she called in a suggesting tone, “Do you have something to show your grandparents?”  
  
  
JJ’s eyes lit up and he ran back out to the coat hook where he’d left his letterman jacket.  
  
  
Willow and Tara heard all of the grandparents cooing and congratulating JJ as they headed off to the kitchen to cut the pie into pieces.  
  
  
As they stood beside each other, Willow bumped Tara’s hip.  
  
  
“Looking forward to tomorrow?”  
  
  
Tara bumped it right back.  
  
  
“Always when it starts waking up with you.”  
  


* * *

  
Tara rolled off of Willow and let her head sink back into the pillows.  
  
  
She panted and threw her hand over her forehead.  
  
  
“I need a break. I’m an old lady now.”  
  
  
Willow turned herself on her side and ran a hand down Tara’s body; reveling in every bump and lump and nook and cranny that she could feel beneath her fingertips.  
  
  
“You don’t look like an old lady.”  
  
  
Tara watched Willow’s gaze fall downward and felt herself shiver under the ardent glint in her wife’s eye.  
  
  
“I love that you love my body.”  
  
  
Willow dragged her gaze back to Tara.  
  
  
“It’s very easy to love.”  
  
  
They shared an affectionate look, then Willow leaned down to peck Tara’s lips.  
  
  
“I was disappointed when the restaurant canceled our reservation but I have to say, I’m a much bigger fan of this kind of eating out.”  
  
  
Tara smirked crookedly.  
  
  
“I’ve known that for more than twenty years.”  
  
  
Willow chuckled and threw her arm around Tara’s waist.  
  
  
“Our marriage will be old enough to vote next year,” she said, then her eyes widened, “That means our son is almost old enough to vote. No. Make it stop. This is it; this is perfection. Let’s stay in this time forever.”  
  
  
Tara cupped Willow’s cheek.  
  
  
“We can’t stay still. But we know wherever we move forward it will be together.”  
  
  
Willow nuzzled Tara’s hand.  
  
  
“Happy seventeen years since I did the smartest thing I’ve ever done and married you.”  
  
  
They kissed softly again but after a minute, Willow started to move over Tara again.  
  
  
“Willow…” Tara playfully warned.  
  
  
“Oh come on,” Willow grinned, wiggling downward, “You wouldn’t even have to do anything…”  
  
  
She smirked as she disappeared.  
  
  
“I only had an appetizer and an entrée in the Restaurant of Tara…now it’s time for dessert.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Hi, gorgeous.”  
  
  
“Hi,” Tara returned to her wife, kissing Willow’s cheek on the steps of the courthouse, “Ready for this?”  
  
  
“It’s not going to be complicated, is it?” Willow asked with an arched eyebrow.  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“No, just a quick signature.”  
  
  
Willow offered her hand.  
  
  
“Let’s do it.”  
  
  
More than an hour later, they walked back down the same steps.  
  
  
“Well, he was a dick,” Willow blew some air out angrily, “Where was Hallie?”  
  
  
“It’s luck of the draw which judge you get,” Tara explained, reaching across herself to massage her own shoulder, “It doesn’t matter now, everything is approved.”  
  
  
“Just feel like I’ve been turned inside out in the process,” Willow muttered and threw some side-eye back toward the court, “Why did he want to know about our donor?!”  
  
  
“Judge Hayden is known for having a chip on his shoulder after a bad divorce,” Tara sighed; she was used to dealing with difficult or belligerent judges but it was never usually so personal.  
  
  
Willow kicked a step angrily.  
  
  
“But it’s nothing to do with—” she stopped and frowned with concern, “Is that on open record? The girls deserve to know what we know about the donor before anyone else does!”  
  
  
“No, sweetheart,” Tara soothed, “Nothing in family court is open record. Judge Hayden was just being an ass because he could.”  
  
  
Tara watched someone brush past them and her eyes shut tight.  
  
  
“Shit.”  
  
  
“What?” Willow asked, looking all around.  
  
  
“That was his clerk,” Tara replied at the smirking, retreating man, “He heard me.”  
  
  
“Uh oh,” Willow replied with a pained look on her face.  
  
  
“Hopefully he doesn’t hold it against any of my clients,” Tara sighed deeply, “I can’t worry about that right now. I have to go back to work. I’ll see you at home.”  
  
  
She pecked Willow’s cheek and hurried off back to the office.   
  
  
Willow turned the opposite direction and did the same thing.  
  


* * *

  
Willow watched Lily literally bounce around the living room on an imaginary Pogo stick.  
  
  
Her head bobbed in time with the movements and she was starting to feel a bit nauseated by the incessant up-and-down motion.  
  
  
She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.  
  
  
“Huh, what?”  
  
  
Tara flicked her hand in the opposite direction.  
  
  
“Scooch.”  
  
  
Willow blinked.  
  
  
“Oh. Sorry.”  
  
  
She moved up the couch and let Tara sit in.  
  
  
“She’s giving me the woozies.”  
  
  
Tara glanced at Lily and was actually quite impressed with her athletic ability but it was a bit dizzying.  
  
  
“Sweetie, can you stop that for a minute? We need to talk to you—”  
  
  
“Robyn put the bathroom stuff in the trash, not me!”  
  
  
“—and your brothers and sisters.”  
  
  
Lily paused, caught.  
  
  
“Oh.”  
  
  
Tara pursed her lips.  
  
  
“Can you go get everyone please?”  
  
  
Lily ran out of there as quickly as she could.  
  
  
A minute or later, Robyn was the first to arrive. She threw herself on the ground dramatically and held her chin on top of her palms while she rested her elbows on the coffee table.  
  
  
“Can I adopt a pig?”  
  
  
“Did you throw out all of my cleaning supplies in the bathroom?” Tara asked with an arched eyebrow.  
  
  
Robyn’s brow knitted together defensively.  
  
  
“They weren’t non-toxic!”  
  
  
“Yes, they were,” Tara replied pointedly, “I don’t use toxic products around any of you.”  
  
  
Robyn looked down sheepishly.  
  
  
“It didn’t say it on them.”  
  
  
“It’s a completely unregulated term,” Willow pointed out, “It could say it and still be bad for the environment.”  
  
  
Robyn sighed.  
  
  
“Sorryyyyyy.”  
  
  
“You’ll be picking them out of the trash,” Tara said firmly.  
  
  
“Okayyyyy,” Robyn agreed, blowing air out from between her lips, “But can I adopt a pig?”  
  
  
“Do you want to draw down your savings?” Willow asked, then continued when she got a definitive nod, “If it’s an ongoing payment, how do you plan to make them?”  
  
  
Robyn frowned unsurely.  
  
  
“You need to write down what it costs and figure out how you’re going to pay for it and when you know you can come to us and take what you need,” Willow replied in response to the look, “I need at least a six-month plan.”  
  
  
Robyn frowned thoughtfully.  
  
  
“Okay.”  
  
  
Tara leaned into Willow.  
  
  
“It’s a little much. It’s not the same as when JJ was saving for a car.”  
  
  
“We have to teach them how money works,” Willow replied with a shrug.  
  
  
“With bi-annual spending forecasts?” Tara said with a hint of good-natured ribbing.  
  
  
“I don’t care if I get it in crayon,” Willow shrugged gently, “Though knowing Robyn she’ll tap into that Tiny Tara artistic flair and I’ll get it carved into a wooden ornament or something.”  
  
  
“The art she makes with her skateboard is actually very impressive,” Tara replied proudly, “Did you see the flower she did on the driveway?”  
  
  
Willow shook her head and Tara took out her phone to show the picture she’d taken of a portrait of a flower Robyn had etched using skid marks from her skateboard wheels. It was, as Tara had said, impressive.  
  
  
“Hey kiddo,” Willow called out and waved the photo on the phone to get Robyn’s attention, “I missed this. It’s really good.”  
  
  
Robyn smiled happily.  
  
  
“Thanks, Momma. The hardest part is not falling over when I stop real quick!”  
  
  
The rest of the kids piled in quickly and Robyn nudged Lily in the ribs for ratting her out. Lily mouthed ‘sorry’ as her legs beat against the floor and her fingertips tickled the rug beneath her.  
  
  
“Okay kids, listen up,” Willow called over the general chatter loudly, “Mom and I have decided for Christmas this year, we’re not going to do the whole Thanksgiving 2.0 thing with the turkey and the need for Pepto-Bismol and whatnot.”  
  
  
“But we still get presents, right?” Lily looked up, stricken.  
  
  
“ _This_ year,” Willow continued fluidly, “We’re going to have Christmas just us, our family. You know what they say, you kids grow up so fast. Here today, gone _to Maui_.”  
  
  
She waited, but to no reaction.  
  
  
“And you know us girls, we just wanna have _sun_.”  
  
  
No one was picking up on Willow’s puns, making her pout.  
  
  
JJ arched one eyebrow.  
  
  
“Does Gramps know about this?”  
  
  
“Hanukkah is early this year,” Willow replied reassuringly, “We won’t miss it. We just think you’ll find this a really _fine_ -apple of an idea. So for this Christmas…”  
  
  
She did a drum roll by slapping her thighs.  
  
  
“We’re taking you all away!” she announced with enthusiastic jazz hands, “To be _pacific_ …”   
  
  
She threw her hands up in the air.  
  
  
“We’re going to Hawaii!”  
  
  
Finally, there started to be some reaction. The girls all jumped up and JJ nudged Kayden excitedly.  
  
  
“I can’t wait to get lei’d!”  
  
  
“Jacob!” Tara warned and threw her eye toward the girls.  
  
  
Emily crept up to her mothers and pushes her glasses up on her nose.  
  
  
“C-can Woofy come?”  
  
  
“Woofy’s going on a vacation to Uncle Jesse’s house,” Willow reassured, “He’ll get to play with Ella and Aurey.”  
  
  
Emily still looked unsure, so Tara lifted her into her lap and stroked her hair.  
  
  
“And we’ll leave a present under their tree for him too, okay?”  
  
  
“Will Santa find him too?” Emily looked up earnestly.  
  
  
Willow squeezed Emily’s leg and nodded.  
  
  
“Rudolph will. Rudolph knows where all of the dogs on the good boy list are.”  
  
  
Emily smiled and cuddled into Tara’s chest.  
  
  
“Will Santa find US?!” Lily asked through a gasping breath.  
  
  
“Yes, Santa will find you,” Willow replied in exasperation, “But you won’t even care because you’ll be having so much fun!”  
  
  
“I’ll care,” Lily nodded surely.  
  
  
“Will we play limbo?” Emily asked excitedly.  
  
  
Willow nodded keenly.  
  
  
“Uh-huh and we’ll hula hoop and go to the beach and drink out of big pineapples!”  
  
  
Tara gave Emily’s tummy a gentle tickle, making her giggle.  
  
  
“Okay, that’s it. You guys can go now,” Willow announced, “And get in the Hawaii mood! Right now your excitement levels are at way too aloha setting!”  
  
  
JJ stood up and held out his hands.  
  
  
“I’m getting away from those puns.”  
  
  
“Don’t worry, beach happy!” Willow yelled after him.  
  
  
“Kayden, hang back please,” Tara requested softly, “Girls, why don’t you go get your letters written to Santa so they get to him in time to know our new address?”  
  
  
Robyn rolled her eyes but kindly just ushered her sisters out to help them with their letters.  
  
  
As the door swung to an ajar position and stopped, Kayden remained where he was sitting with his hands clasped together and tucked between his knees and his head hanging down.  
  
  
“S-so what happens now?” he asked with quiet acceptance, “Do I go to a group home or a different family, or…?”  
  
  
Willow and Tara shared a confused look.  
  
  
“Kayden, what do you mean?” Tara asked softly.  
  
  
Kayden looked up slowly, sadly.  
  
  
“While you guys go away,” he clarified and swallowed, “Where do I go?”  
  
  
“You go with us,” Willow answered resolutely, “It’s a family vacation.”  
  
  
“We already got permission from the judge,” Tara added as Kayden’s eyes widened, “But we need to get you a passport. So you need to come with me to get pictures taken.”  
  
  
Kayden’s mouth physically hung open.  
  
  
“O-Oh.”  
  
  
His mouth closed but his heart was still hammering as Tara asked him to get himself together to go get the pictures taken.  
  
  
In the car, he didn’t utter a single word as his thoughts and emotions swarmed until they finally merged into one thought.  
  
  
“Tara?”  
  
  
“Yes, sweetie?” Tara asked as she indicated into the mall parking lot.  
  
  
Kayden scratched under his ear where his hair swished from side-to-side.  
  
  
“Can I get a haircut?”  
  
  
Tara smiled softly. She’d wanted to suggest that for a while now but she was always careful to let her children come to her when it came to appearance changes.  
  
  
“Sure you can,” she replied easily, “I know the barber JJ goes to here in the mall takes walk-ins.”  
  
  
Kayden had never actually been to a barbershop. He had vague recollections of his mother swiping at his hair as a young boy and since, well, since she wasn’t around anymore he just cast scissors over his eyes when he was struggling to see. It had never been so long-growing that it had caused him problems. Then Tony had taken a clipper to him once or twice to get rid of his ‘shaggy hair’ though he hadn’t exactly said ‘shaggy’. He’d replaced the ‘sh’ with an ‘f’.  
  
  
Kayden hadn’t liked a shaved head but he didn’t like it how it was now either. He liked the cuts he saw in school or on TV or on the musicians he admired. Cool lines and slick fades. He didn’t have the same tight beard a lot of those people had to pull the look off, but he thought he could look better than a scruffy dog.  
  
  
Tara brought him to the shop and told him she’d be waiting outside when he was finished. He sat into the chair and for the first time in his life, a gown was put around his shoulders.  
  
  
About twenty minutes later, it was pulled off again and Kayden grinned in the mirror. It was the first time he’d grinned at his own reflection in a while, possibly ever.  
  
  
The barber had given him a textured quaff with short sides with the cool embossed lines and slick low fades he wanted.  
  
  
He couldn’t wait to show it to everyone.  
  
  
He couldn’t even wait to show his therapist, and he only tolerated going to her because he knew he had to.  
  
  
He went up to the counter to pay, but the barber just held a hand up.  
  
  
“Your mom already paid.”  
  
  
Kayden stilled in surprise.  
  
  
“Oh.”  
  
  
He hadn’t been expecting…that word.  
  
  
The only reference to his ‘mom’ had usually been his aunt muttering about him being some variant of a sissy and how much shame he would bring her. The words ‘your mom’ usually ignited a feeling of nausea in his stomach and not in the way many teenage boys felt as a joke was about to be landed upon them.  
  
  
He felt something in his stomach now, but it wasn’t nausea. It was kind of warm but disconcertingly non-descript.  
  
  
His eyes cast off to the side as he thought.  
  
  
He’d been staying with the Rosenberg-Maclays for a while now but he’d been scared to use any of those defined words that might mean more than the situation implied.  
  
  
They’d spent Thanksgiving together.  
  
  
But they kinda had to have him there for that.  
  
  
There was nowhere else for him to go.  
  
  
They were bringing him to Hawaii.  
  
  
He knew that cost more than what they got for keeping him.  
  
  
But maybe they felt obligated. They were those kind of people.  
  
  
Decent.  
  
  
Good.  
  
  
Pitied him, probably.  
  
  
But it was a good life.  
  
  
As much food as he wanted, a warm bed every night.  
  
  
No one ever shouted; they were affectionate even.  
  
  
His own room still blew his mind.  
  
  
A phone, a laptop, new clothes.  
  
  
And then things he never realized he’d wanted.  
  
  
Chores — responsibility.  
  
  
A dog.  
  
  
Little sisters.  
  
  
They weren’t, though.  
  
  
His sisters.  
  
  
And she wasn’t.  
  
  
His ‘mom’.  
  
  
Or…‘moms’?  
  
  
He was still kind of getting his head around that one.  
  
  
But that was all wishful thinking.  
  
  
He realized the barber was still staring at him. Waiting for him to leave, probably. He quickly put the money he was going to use to pay in the tip jar and ran away, barely hearing the cries of ‘hey kid, she tipped too!” behind him.  
  
  
Tara was waiting, as promised. She had yet to let him down.  
  
  
She looked up from the bench and smiled as she sensed him approaching.  
  
  
She held up her hands and he didn’t even object to her bouncing his delicately quaffed hair.  
  
  
“I love the cut.”  
  
  
“Thanks,” Kayden replied, blushing bashfully, “Um, thanks for, um, paying for it.”  
  
  
Tara just looked confused, then sad, and gave a little smile. She brought him to the other side of the mall to the Walgreens.  
  
  
“Hi,” she greeted the clerk and brought her purse up to the counter to take out her wallet, “I need to get some passport photos done for my son. Can we get the kind where you get the email with the photos attached too? Thanks.”  
  
  
She called Kayden up to sit in front of the sickly white screen and smiled encouragingly while Kayden tried to smile-while-not-smiling and make as little facial movement as possible.  
  
  
“Is that it?” Kayden asked awkwardly when the clerk brought the camera back over to the computer.  
  
  
“That’s it,” Tara replied easily and showed him the photos once they were printed and handed to her, “We’ll send off the application and then we’ll have your passport in a few weeks.”  
  
  
She put the photos away in her wallet and put her arm around Kayden.  
  
  
“Why don’t we stop off and bring some dinner home to everyone. Your pick.”  
  
  
Kayden seemed slightly overwhelmed to have that responsibility put on him.  
  
  
“Um…everyone likes pizza?”  
  
  
“What’s your favorite?” Tara coaxed.  
  
  
Kayden looked down and scuffed his shoe.  
  
  
“Anything you cook.”  
  
  
Tara was about to lean her head on Kayden’s head but opted not to at the last second in case she displaced his hair that he seemed so proud of.  
  
  
“What’s your favorite thing I cook?”  
  
  
“Chicken pot pie,” Kayden replied immediately and the happiness in his eyes made Tara’s heart swell.  
  
  
“You want to know my secret?” she said and leaned in conspiringly, “Cajun seasoning. My mom’s recipe.”  
  
  
She squeezed his shoulder.  
  
  
“Luckily I happen to have some Cajun seasoning at home that I need to use up. So why don’t we head home so I can make it? I don’t even like pizza that much.”  
  
  
Kayden suddenly turned and hugged Tara. Hard.  
  
  
She was startled for a moment but quickly returned it. When he backed off awkwardly, she made no mention of it and just brought him back to the car and gave him control of the radio.  
  
  
When they arrived home, Kayden was greeted to a barrage of compliments like:  
  
  
“Nice ‘do!” from Willow.  
  
  
And:  
  
  
“Cool hair!” from Lily and Emily simultaneously.  
  
  
And even:  
  
  
“Hey bro, you’re showing me up,” with a good-natured shove from JJ.  
  
  
When Robyn came downstairs from writing her latest manifesto on climate change, she stared at Kayden for a moment.  
  
  
“I want to…just,” she reached in and untangled one of the flawless heavy curls, “There. Now it’s perfectly imperfect. That symmetry was hurting my eyes.”  
  
  
Kayden actually quite liked the minor change when he took a quick glance in the mirror and just smiled at Robyn, who grabbed her soccer ball from the hall closet and showed her age by proclaiming she’d ‘smell them later’.  
  
  
In bed that night, Tara turned to Willow, troubled.  
  
  
“Willow, I realized something when I was filling out the application today.”  
  
  
“Yeah?” Willow asked as her eyes followed the news app on her iPad.  
  
  
Tara left the book she was reading on her nightstand.  
  
  
“There were so many dates and everything. I was looking at his birth cert and his interactions with the office and something just kept niggling at me. Then it hit me. The day that JJ brought Kayden home was his birthday.”  
  
  
Willow put her iPad face-down on the bed and adjusted her glasses.  
  
  
“He didn’t make any hint of it. That poor kid. It broke my heart that he didn’t think he was coming with us.”  
  
  
“He doesn’t feel secure with us, yet,” Tara replied sadly, “You have to understand, he’s never been secure his whole life, ever.”  
  
  
“Oh, I know, I get it,” Willow nodded, “It’s not an easy ‘fix’. He’s a human being. I’m just hoping that if this, us, becomes his normal for long enough…”  
  
  
Tara smiled softly at Willow.  
  
  
“I know. Me too.”  
  
  
Willow smiled back.  
  
  
“He’s ours, isn’t he?”  
  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
  
“When he wants to be. Is ready to be.”  
  
  
Willow turned her body toward Tara.  
  
  
“I’ve had something on my mind too,” she admitted and folded her arms over her lap, “Do you think you’d be able to handle the brood on your own for one leg of the flight?”  
  
  
“Why?” Tara asked, frowning a little.  
  
  
“Thinking of connecting through Sunnydale on the way home so I can look in on the bookstore,” Willow explained, “I’m due a visit.”  
  
  
Tara nodded slowly.  
  
  
“Well — yes. I can cope. Or…we could bring the kids. They’ve never seen the store.”  
  
  
Willow’s brow knotted.  
  
  
“To Sunnydale?”  
  
  
“Is there too much history?” Tara asked gently.  
  
  
“I don’t know, to be honest,” Willow replied thoughtfully, glancing away, “Let me think about it.”  
  
  
Tara patted Willow’s leg.  
  
  
“Okay, but think quick so we can book the flights.”  
  
  
“On it,” Willow promised and leaned over to kiss Tara’s cheek, “Night, baby. I love you.”  
  
  
Tara returned the kiss and lay down on her pillow.  
  
  
“I love you.”  
  


* * *

  
Willow walked up and down the rug in their bedroom as the dial tone rang in her ear.  
  
  
Finally, it clicked into a connected call and a voice came down the other line.  
  
  
“Bubbelah. How are you?”  
  
  
“Hey Dad, I wanted to talk to you,” Willow said back as she sat down on the bed and let the mattress sag beneath her.  
  
  
“Yes, I guessed that when you rang,” Ira laughed jovially.  
  
  
Willow rolled her eyes at herself.  
  
  
“Right. What I meant was, I need your opinion.”  
  
  
“Fire away,” Ira offered cordially.  
  
  
Willow played with the threads coming out of the end of the throw blanket at the end of their bed.  
  
  
“While we were planning the logistics for getting to Hawaii and back, I realized we’d have to stop on the West Coast anyway…so maybe I’d come back by Sunnydale and check in on the store. And then Tara suggested…why don’t we all stop by Sunnydale and let the kids see the store and I could show them my old high school and stuff I guess too.”  
  
  
There was silence as Ira waited for Willow to present him with the situation she needed advice on.  
  
  
“How lovely,” he said eventually, encouragingly.  
  
  
Willow gnawed on her lip.  
  
  
“I’m…a bit concerned.”  
  
  
“Ah,” Ira said, everything clicking in his head, “You’re concerned that you’ll run into your mother?”  
  
  
“Not so much _me_ running into them…” Willow wheedled out pointedly.  
  
  
Ira made a soft, thoughtful sound and Willow could all but see him fixing his tie.  
  
  
“You go to check on the bookstore quite often, don’t you?”  
  
  
“A couple of times a year now that we’re doing well,” Willow nodded evenly, “More often in the past.”  
  
  
“And have you seen her?” Ira prompted gently.  
  
  
“Never,” Willow replied softly, “Only the one time when I sought her out.”  
  
  
“Don’t let her stop you living your life,” Ira replied resolutely, “Back in college, when you told us about yourself.”  
  
  
He paused; regret still there.  
  
  
“You didn’t let us stop you then. So don’t do it now. You are quite entitled to bring your family to see the town you grew up in and the bookstore that you own. If you do happen to run into your mother while you’re there, do the same as you would if the family weren’t with you.”  
  
  
“Don’t think I can use that kind of language around my kids,” Willow chuckled and though she heard Ira’s tongue click, there was a small laugh there too, “Okay. Thanks, Dad. We’ll go.”  
  
  
“Excellent,” Ira’s smile was evident in his voice, “We’ll see you this weekend?”  
  
  
“Yes, of course,” Willow answered, more relaxed now as she held the phone to her ear with her shoulder, “Hey, it’s Kayden’s first Hanukkah, so if he does something he’s not supposed to, please shut your mouth. He’s delicate.”  
  
  
Outside the door, Kayden looked down with a gulp and realized for the first time that he had no hair to hide behind any longer.  
  


* * *

  
“So that’s why we have a special candle to light all of the other candles and we call it the shamash and that means ‘helper’ because it ‘helps’, see? So then each night we light another candle until eight days are up because that’s how many days…”  
  
  
Kayden dutifully listened as Lily explained all about the menorah to him even though he’d read up quite a lot after overhearing Willow on the phone. He didn’t want to embarrass them or himself by offending Mr. or Mrs. Rosenberg.  
  
  
He wasn’t sure he had the whole puzzle of how the grandparents in this family fit together yet. Willow called Mr. Rosenberg ‘Daddy’ but Tara called him by his name and they both called Michelle by her name. Second wife, Kayden guessed, but she was also a sister to Tara’s dead mother and the presence of Rose had completely blown his internal family tree to pieces.  
  
  
That wasn’t even mentioning Tara’s father, whom Kayden hadn’t brought up to anyone after the weird way JJ had reacted at the Halloween party. Or Willow’s mother, whom Kayden had only heard spoken about in hushed tones recently. There were no photos of either of them around the house, which was otherwise abundant with family photos.  
  
  
It was weird, he thought, but also everyone seemed happy. Maybe forming a family from pieces of different puzzles fit better than keeping to one image just because it was how people expected things to look.  
  
  
“—can Kayden and I do it?!”  
  
  
Kayden focused back on Lily’s energetic ramblings and realized she was pleading for them to light the candle together.  
  
  
He understood this was an important undertaking.  
  
  
“Oh,” he said, wiping his hands on his thighs, “I-I shouldn’t…”  
  
  
“You should!” Lily replied eagerly, “With me!”  
  
  
“I’m not Jewish,” Kayden replied with a deep swallow.  
  
  
“Me either, sweetheart, but I light the candle sometimes,” Tara called over encouragingly.  
  
  
“Same for me,” Michelle said softly.  
  
  
“I used to be a bit of a traditionalist,” Ira admitted as he patted the hanky sitting in the breast pocket of his suit, “Still am, some would say.”  
  
  
He looked over fondly at Willow.  
  
  
“But there is no reason why you shouldn’t light that candle, son.”  
  
  
Kayden gulped again.  
  
  
He joined hands with Lily and helped her go through the process of lighting the candle on the menorah as the sun went down behind the window.  
  
  
Ira started to sing some kind of blessing. Kayden was surprised by how moved he felt.  
  
  
The blessings finished and there was suddenly an electric kind of excitement in the air. Ira had gold coins for all of the kids — Kayden included — and the girls had whipped out a dreidel. Willow was nudging Tara, who was blushing and Ira had gone to give Michelle a long hug and kiss on her forehead.  
  
  
Kayden had another new thought; he’d been having more of those lately.  
  
  
Now he wondered if there might be a little Kayden-shaped piece of this familial puzzle he might fit into after all.


	9. Chapter 9

“Boys, take the two seats over there.”  
  
  
Kayden and JJ walked through the aisle to the opposite side of the plane where two seats sat together. There were three more seats in the middle and then two on the other side.  
  
  
Willow put her hand on Emily’s head and gently turned her to sit in the farthest seat.  
  
  
“You,” she said, then plopped Lily down in the nearest seat to the two she and Tara would be sitting in, “You.”  
  
  
She twirled her finger around the middle seat and pointed between it and Robyn.  
  
  
“You.”  
  
  
Robyn’s brow was crinkled angrily.  
  
  
“Why do I have to sit in the middle?”  
  
  
“You need a buffer,” Willow said. It was too easy to sneak out of an aisle seat.  
  
  
“It says so on our tickets, Robbie,” Lily supplied helpfully as she proudly held up her ticket, “See, you’re ‘F’.”  
  
  
Robyn fell into her seat dramatically with her arms crossed on her chest.  
  
  
“I’m F’d somethin’ alright.”  
  
  
“I heard that,” Willow warned and Robyn rolled her eyes.  
  
  
In the window seat, Kayden’s eyes were everywhere.  
  
  
“Does it go…fast?” he asked JJ awkwardly.  
  
  
He didn’t want to look like a baby and admit he was scared.  
  
  
“Only when we take off,” JJ explained easily, kindly not mentioning Kayden’s obvious fear, “We go real fast on the ground, then once we take off it’s smooth sailing. Won’t even know we’re moving.”  
  
  
He popped out a piece of gum and offered it to him.  
  
  
“Chew this. Sometimes your ears can get funky because of the pressure and stuff. It’ll help.”  
  
  
Kayden took the gum and started to chew nervously.  
  
  
Across the plane, Willow settled into her seat with a sigh.  
  
  
“Thank god they let us board first. I thought that one guy was going to say the kids are too old!”  
  
  
“Relax honey,” Tara soothed softly, “We haven’t even taken off yet.”  
  
  
Willow groaned.  
  
  
“Don’t remind me.”  
  
  
One of the flight attendants started walking through the aisles to check if they were ready to call the next group for boarding.  
  
  
“Can we assist you with anything?” she offered Willow and Tara graciously and smiled at the girls, “Are you all able to buckle your seat belts?”  
  
  
Both Lily and Emily were keen to show off their aptitude. The flight attendant looked to Robyn with that fixed smile on her face.  
  
  
“And you?”  
  
  
Robyn wordlessly lifted her buckle and let it fall back into her lap. The flight attendant remained disarmingly chipper.  
  
  
“I like your shirt, young lady.”  
  
  
Robyn glanced down. Her shirt _was_ glittery and fun but she knew a brush-off when she heard it.  
  
  
“Thanks,” she replied without much enthusiasm, “My Momma says it’s a bitch to iron.”  
  
  
“Robyn,” both Willow and Tara said sternly in unison as they jerked out of their seats together to send her a look.  
  
  
Tara looked at the flight attendant with a mixture of gratitude and embarrassment. The flight attendant just smiled again and quickly moved on.  
  
  
Robyn glared back at her parents and wiggled her fingers mockingly.  
  
  
“Must be a case of the middle seat madness.”  
  
  
Both Willow and Tara sat back. Tara sighed.  
  
  
“You don’t even do the ironing.”  
  
  
“How can I when you get mad that I haven’t done it seven seconds after it’s left the dryer and do it first?” Willow snapped back quietly.  
  
  
Tara held her hands up.  
  
  
“You know what?” she said, letting her hands brush against each other, “No. We’re not doing this. We’re not starting off our vacation like this.”  
  
  
She unbuckled her belt quickly, before more people started to board.  
  
  
“Robyn?” she called over, “You want the window seat?”  
  
  
“Beside Momma?” Robyn called back with an arched eyebrow, “Hell no.”  
  
  
Willow scoffed pointedly.  
  
  
“You’re the one who’s starting to get pubescent stank you know, not me.”  
  
  
“Emily?” Tara cut across them all, “You wanna sit with Momma?”  
  
  
“Yeah,” Emily nodded quickly.  
  
  
“I wanna sit with Momma!” Lily suddenly announced and Willow looked smugly at Robyn.  
  
  
“Emily can sit with Momma on this flight and Lily can sit with Momma on the next one,” Tara reasoned, “Okay?”  
  
  
The twins nodded but Willow was pouting a little.  
  
  
“I thought I was gonna get to sit with you. The only good thing about flying was going to be sitting with you for hours. I’m sorry I got shirty about the laundry,” she apologized and started to grin, “Get it?”  
  
  
Tara squeezed Willow’s arm.  
  
  
“I do get it and I’m not moving because I’m mad. I’m moving because we need a better handle on the girls and you know sometimes that means flanking them.”  
  
  
Willow sighed in resignation.  
  
  
“Besides,” Tara continued with a discreet kiss to Willow’s cheek, “We have our whole vacation to be together.”  
  
  
Willow nodded that she understood. Tara stood up and directed Emily to her window seat and then indicated for Robyn to take the vacated aisle.  
  
  
Robyn switched over before the offer could be taken away.  
  
  
“I’m trusting you, please don’t make me lose that trust,” Tara said quietly as she belted herself in between Robyn and Lily.  
  
  
Robyn didn’t like the whole ‘disappointed’ spiel and this was just a pre-version of that.  
  
  
“Air travel is awful for the environment,” she deflected.  
  
  
“I know,” Tara nodded easily, “We can plant a tree when we get home, if you want.”  
  
  
Robyn’s head turned slowly.  
  
  
“Can we plant a tree for everyone?”  
  
  
“Not in our back yard, but sure,” Tara agreed, then smiled chirpily, “What are you most looking forward to about Hawaii?”  
  
  
“Seeing the volcanoes,” Robyn said, smiling excitedly and quite childlike.  
  
  
“You can’t throw your Momma in,” Tara teased gently.  
  
  
Robyn looked unusually bashful.  
  
  
“I wouldn’t throw Momma in,” she admitted and then rolled her eyes, “Some of her sweaters, maybe.”  
  
  
“What of mine would you throw in?” Tara asked curiously.  
  
  
Robyn nodded down to the floor.  
  
  
“Those sandals,” she said distastefully, “Most people wearing those kinds of sandals are responsible for measles coming back to America.”  
  
  
Tara looked down and stretched her ankles around so her feet rotated.  
  
  
“I like these sandals. They’re comfortable. So I accept your opinion but I’m happy with my own sense of style and will continue to wear them.”  
  
  
Robyn rolled her eyes. Mom was no fun. At least Momma reacted.  
  
  
She snatched at her backpack and took out her tablet.  
  
  
“I’m going to draw now.”  
  
  
Tara gave the hint of a smile of success; just a soft slope on one side.  
  
  
She sat back into her seat and stretched her legs; ugly sandals and all.  
  


* * *

  
“She’s nuts, they frame your lovely little feet so perfectly,” Willow said as they waited in baggage claim, exhausted, but so ready to leave the confines of this airport and properly arrive in tropical paradise, “She once asked me if I was wearing my blue and yellow sweater with the cat’s eyes ironically and when I said no she said ‘you should be’. So what does she know about fashion?”  
  
  
“I love that sweater,” Tara replied, making a little cat claw with her hand, which Willow laughed at.  
  
  
“I know!” she replied with grinning indignation and glanced over to where Robyn and Lily were playing Slaps. They were laughing but it was aggressive. She looked back to Tara unsurely, “Are we raising a mean girl? I mean I was scared about Lily for a while but she’s not… _mean_. But sometimes Robyn…”  
  
  
“Robyn gives half of her allowance to a refugee charity every week,” Tara answered evenly, “And she helps with the twins with their homework all the time. She stands up for Emily and knows just how to be tactile enough with Lily to keep her calm. She idolizes JJ even when she pretends to be annoyed by him. And she’s treated Kayden like all of the others since the moment he stepped into the house.”  
  
  
Willow nodded slowly.  
  
  
“She’s always been precocious, even when she was baby. Maybe we’re just getting the teenage years in advance.”  
  
  
“I think she’s just growing into a strong, independent woman. And we need more of those,” Tara reasoned and cast a slow, side glance at Willow, “But you need to stop giving her the reaction she goads you for. It just encourages the mean parts.”  
  
  
Willow threw up her hands.  
  
  
“Tara, I can stand here and promise that I will but she’s ten and I haven’t been able to stop so far so I’m not going to lie about the future,” she answered, crossing her arms lightly across her chest, “It’s your fault anyway with your genetically-transmitted sarcasm.”  
  
  
Tara threw a different kind of side-eye and Willow pointed at her and nodded.  
  
  
“There it is. Don’t even have to open your mouth.”  
  
  
Tara pursed her lips while Willow threw her a wink as she moved forward to grab their first piece of luggage when she saw it.  
  
  
The boys helped hike everything onto a cart and they all headed to the car rental unit to pick up the car. At the curb, Willow closed her eyes and sighed softly. 70 degrees and a gentle breeze.  
  
  
As they waited, Willow saw a guy in his 60s slide sunglasses on his face as he was handed the keys to a sleek red mustang convertible.  
  
  
How she longed to be driving off in a Mustang or similar but as she glanced at the five children trailing behind her she knew it was nothing but minivan for her.  
  
  
It was a new minivan, at least, and had lots of cool gadgets for her to play with as she mourned what she never had. She glanced over at Tara and smiled. What was she complaining about? She was in Paradise with her family. She reached over and squeezed Tara’s knee.  
  
  
“Is everyone belted up?”  
  
  
She got a chorus of confirmations and pressed start on the GPS to guide them to their hotel.  
  
  
There was some stopping and starting as they got out of the airport but after navigating through a couple of city streets they were pulled onto a simple two-lane road flanked with huge, plush green mountaintops ahead and silvery water to the side with the sun setting on its horizon.  
  
  
“Look at that, kids,” Tara said in awe with her hand up to touch the window like she might touch the setting sun itself.  
  
  
“It’s so pretty, Mom, it’s so pretty!” Lily said excitedly, “It looks so good I want to eat it!”  
  
  
There were murmurs from the other kids but everyone was exhausted after the day of traveling, thankfully dull as it was.  
  
  
Their hotel was right on the beach, on a bay a quarter-mile long and uniquely crescent-shaped. In the morning, they’d see the golden sand and invitingly blue water but right now they could see the alluring glow of the sunset as it cast warm shadows on the building. There was mere feet from where the shores lapped and where the white balconies at the hotel stood out to overlook them.  
  
  
A kindly bellhop arranged both their luggage and the valet service when Willow pulled up, so all they had to do was check-in, get their room keys, and ride the elevator up to their floor.  
  
  
They had three adjoining rooms, specifically made for families. The middle, the biggest, had the mini-bar and the balcony, and the rooms either side were set up for their family structure — a twin to the left for JJ and Kayden and a triple to the right for all of the girls.  
  
  
The boys were okay to look after themselves so Willow and Tara settled the girls quickly after a brief fight over who got which bed. With an agreement to rotate, the adults finally got to see their room properly.  
  
  
They had a nice, big queen bed, a couch, and a table that led out to the balcony where there was more seating. The bathroom was marble; cool to touch but warm underfoot and had plenty of room for them both to be in there without bumping into each other. Everything was soft reds and yellows with contrasting dark furniture but the linens were bright and soft. From the view all the way in, right to the alluring shade of cushions on the couch, everything was made to be inviting.  
  
  
Tara wanted to have a brief shower after traveling so Willow got enough of their clothes out to last them a couple of days so they weren’t living out of the suitcase. She changed into the new silk pajamas her father had gifted her for Hanukkah and left Tara’s pair on her pillow.  
  
  
When Tara came out of the bathroom in a towel, Willow looked over from her spot in the bed, head on the pillow.  
  
  
“Do you think the kids can handle breakfast by themselves in the morning?”  
  
  
Tara squeezed some lotion into her hands and lifted her leg up onto the arm of the couch.  
  
  
“Probably. Why?”  
  
  
Willow cocked an eyebrow boldly.  
  
  
“When was the last time we had morning sex?”  
  
  
Tara lotioned down to her ankle and back up again before changing leg. Her eyes squinted.  
  
  
“I’m not sure about the month but I could probably tell you the year if I thought back far enough.”  
  
  
“Exactly,” Willow replied wryly.  
  
  
Tara popped her leg down and smiled.  
  
  
“Okay. I’m in.”  
  
  
She dropped her towel.  
  
  
“Here’s a little preview.”  
  
  
She turned around slowly and then folded herself into bed.  
  
  
“Oh, no, no, no.”  
  
  
“What?” Willow asked with a frown.  
  
  
Tara twirled her finger.  
  
  
“Pajamas don’t exist on vacation.”  
  
  
“I’m suddenly rendered weak-limbed by all of the travel,” Willow exclaimed, throwing her arms up over her head, “You’ll have to help me remedy this great injustice.”  
  
  
Tara smirked and started to run her hand down Willow’s front, loosening the buttons along the way. Willow shrugged it off once she could and kicked the bottoms down when Tara gave them a little tug.  
  
  
“That’s better,” Tara murmured as she pressed her naked front into Willow’s naked back.  
  
  
“Much,” Willow agreed and reached out to flick the lamp switch above the nightstand off, “Aloha, my love.”  
  
  
Tara’s arm rested over Willow’s waist and she closed her eyes.  
  
  
“Aloha indeed.”  
  


* * *

  
Willow’s mussed head popped out from under the blanket and she frowned.  
  
  
“Is the phone actually ringing or are you just so good at that that it’s making my ears rattle?”  
  
  
Tara’s head joined Willow and there was a pause as she listened too.  
  
  
“No, it’s definitely ringing.”  
  
  
Willow turned her head to find where the actual phone was and finally picked it up.  
  
  
“Aloha,” she said with a low chuckle and winked at Tara, who blushed.  
  
  
She listened for a minute and then her head dropped to the pillow with a pout,  
  
  
“Okay. We’ll be right down.”  
  
  
She hung up and sighed.  
  
  
“Kid crisis.”  
  
  
“What’s wrong?” Tara asked with a concerned brow furrow.  
  
  
“Robyn probably sassed someone,” Willow heaved out a huge breath as she swung up to a sitting position, “Or JJ hit on one of the servers.”  
  
  
Tara looked stricken.  
  
  
“Or Lily…”  
  
  
Willow’s face adopted much the same look.  
  
  
“Shit. Let’s get down there.”  
  
  
The early morning coital bliss they’d ensconced themselves in was quickly forgotten, they fled their room together hastily buttoning sweaters as they ran to the elevator.  
  
  
They arrived at the breakfast room and it became apparent immediately that they were dealing with A Situation™. The room had emptied but for some tables in the corner, and all of the people there were staring at the scene playing out from the booth nearest the door.  
  
  
Lily was lying across a seat, wailing; Kayden and JJ were flanking her just so she didn’t hurt herself; Emily was sitting at her feet looking up, afraid; and Robyn was so tense she was as red as the strawberries sitting atop the half-eaten pancakes on one of the plates on the table.  
  
  
Tara immediately strode forward.  
  
  
“I’ll take Lily.”  
  
  
JJ and Kayden fell away like Lily was a snapping shark they were afraid of being bitten by. When Tara pulled Lily against her body, Lily didn’t protest and flung her arms around Tara, crying into her neck. Tara quickly brought her away from the situation and left the rest of them in her eerily silent wake.  
  
  
Emily tried to run after her.  
  
  
“I haveta stay with Lily!”  
  
  
Willow quickly caught her.  
  
  
“Koala bear, I need you to stay with me. Lily is with Mommy. She’ll be okay, I promise.”  
  
  
Willow lifted Emily onto her hip even though she was really way too big to be doing things like that anymore.  
  
  
“Is everyone okay?” she asked and got a series of glum nods in return, “What happened?”  
  
  
JJ held a hand against his forehead.  
  
  
“Some other kid cut in front of her in the cereal line and took the last of the cereal she wanted. She just went straight to meltdown.”  
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
“Her body is adjusting to the time zone change and she’s all out of her routine,” Willow explained; they’d actually come up with a contingency plan for this but she hadn’t anticipated meltdown so soon, “Shit, she’s late for her pill.”  
  
  
No one made any remark that Willow had sworn.  
  
  
“It’s okay, mom will have realized,” she said, almost talking to herself, “Why didn’t you call us?”   
  
  
“I tried! It went straight to voicemail,” JJ replied, exasperated, “And Lily wouldn’t let me touch her, and I didn’t want to leave the others alone in case something happened.”  
  
  
Willow stepped forward and cupped JJ’s cheek.  
  
  
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” she soothed, “You didn’t do anything wrong. You handled it great. You’re the best big brother.”  
  
  
Emily nodded quickly to indicate she agreed. JJ’s eyes crumbled when he saw it.  
  
  
“She hasn’t freaked out like that in so long.”  
  
  
“I know,” Willow said with a quiet nod, “C’mon kids, let’s all go have some downtime. Do you need to eat? Were you able to have breakfast?”  
  
  
There were just more glum nods so Willow ushered everyone out and back upstairs. Kayden and JJ went into their room and Willow brought Emily and Robyn into the girls’ room, assuming correctly that Tara would have brought Lily into their room. There was no sound coming from that room, so at least Tara had succeeded in getting Lily to calm down.  
  
  
As soon as Willow brought the girls inside, it became apparent that Robyn was not okay. She just seemed to be getting redder and Willow had a pretty high barometer on how red she’d seen a face go. She quickly went out and knocked two doors down.  
  
  
“Boys, I need you to take care of Emily.”  
  
  
JJ opened his mouth to protest, then spotted Emily weaving between Willow’s legs. He adjusted to a smile and it wasn’t even all forced.  
  
  
“We love hanging out with Emily.”  
  
  
“Yeah,” Kayden agreed from behind, “I was going to sketch the water out the window. Do you want to do it with me?”  
  
  
Willow mouthed ‘thank you’ and JJ just nodded as he brought Emily inside with them.  
  
  
Kayden offered Emily his pencil pouch to pick out her favorite colors buy stayed with his arms crossed over his body.  
  
  
“Is she gonna be okay?”  
  
  
“Lil? Yeah,” JJ answered, a bit dazed, “It’s just rough getting through it. You don’t have to do the babysitting.”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged.  
  
  
“I like drawing with her. She’s good.”  
  
  
JJ held up his hands, some of his normal carefree spirit settling back on his face.  
  
  
“I draw stick men crooked, so…”  
  
  
Willow let herself back into the girls’ room about three seconds before Robyn’s fist hit the wall. Thankfully, in those three seconds, Willow was able to run across the room and stop her.  
  
  
“Robyn!” she said in shock as she held Robyn’s arm tensely and tried to remain calm, “Honey.”  
  
  
Robyn, however, was not calm.  
  
  
“Don’t call me that! I don’t deserve that!”  
  
  
She pulled away from Willow and went over to the bed where she shoved her face into the pillow and screamed.  
  
  
Willow held her hands against her face. What the hell was going on?  
  
  
“What’s going on?” she repeated her thought a little more kid-friendly, “Robyn…”  
  
  
She walked over and tried to hold Robyn from behind.  
  
  
“I love you. And Mommy loves you. And—”  
  
  
Robyn spun around, eyes wild.  
  
  
“Why?”  
  
  
“Why do we love you?” Willow asked in disbelief, “Because you’re our Robbie. We’ve loved you since before you were even a little dot. You were conceived through love.”  
  
  
Robyn pushed away from the bed and ran to the other side of the room.  
  
  
“That’s not even true! I was conceived in a test tube!”  
  
  
Willow’s mouth opened helplessly.  
  
  
“It was a petri dish.”  
  
  
Robyn’s little face grew ever more broken.  
  
  
“THEN I WAS A WASTE OF A SINGLE-USE PLASTIC!”  
  
  
A few seconds later, the adjoining door opened and Willow jumped up quickly to tell Tara now was not the time to scold her but instead, Tara just strode across the room and pulled Robyn into the same kind of all-encompassing hug she had with Lily earlier.  
  
  
Immediately Robyn crumbled into Tara’s embrace.  
  
  
Those Mom-Hugs sure did seem to have an instant calming effect, but this wasn’t news to Willow. She’d been availing of them for more than twenty years.  
  
  
Tara gently laid Robyn down on a bed and laid down with her. She used to eyes to communicate with Willow to come in on the other side.  
  
  
They all barely fit on the little bed but just about managed not to fall off.  
  
  
Tara stroked Robyn’s hair and when she was calm — calmer even than her normal state of being — Tara kissed her daughter’s forehead.  
  
  
“First of all, you are not a waste of anything.”  
  
  
She rubbed Robyn’s back gently.  
  
  
“Even if you were entirely made of single-use-plastic,” she continued and wiggled her fingers, “With little straws for fingers.”  
  
  
“And a coffee lid for a face,” Willow added, wobbling Robyn’s lip, “You’d have to speak out of the little sip hole.”  
  
  
Robyn pushed Willow off but not very hard and a smile was threatening to break.  
  
  
“You guys think that a mom sandwich solves everything.”  
  
  
“That’s not true,” Tara shook her head.  
  
  
Willow raised her hand into a claw and brought it down on Robyn’s stomach.  
  
  
“We think that tickles during a mom sandwich solves everything!”  
  
  
Robyn squealed with laughter for a moment before pushing Willow off again. Willow stopped but stayed smiled. Tara smiled at both of them.  
  
  
“We think talking solves _most_ things,” she clarified, “And you can talk to us any time.”  
  
  
She continued to rub Robyn’s back and Willow started to do the same to her leg.  
  
  
“What happened, bean?”  
  
  
Robyn looked up at the ceiling. It took a few minutes for her to speak, but nobody rushed her.  
  
  
“I couldn’t calm Lily down. I got so mad at myself.”  
  
  
Tara nodded slowly.  
  
  
“You’ve always been amazing with your sister. But today it was just too much for her. It’s not your fault, it’s not her fault, it’s nobody’s fault.”  
  
  
Willow heaved a big sigh.  
  
  
“Sometimes we forget how young you still are.”  
  
  
Tara brought her hand up to stroke Robyn’s cheek.  
  
  
“Darling, as some who had to grow up a lot at your age…don’t try to grow up too fast,” she said, keeping her daughter’s bright blue gaze, “It is not your responsibility to save your sister.”  
  
  
“Or the world,” Willow added softly.  
  
  
Tara nodded and Robyn looked between them before looking down again.  
  
  
After another minute of contemplative silence, Tara spoke.  
  
  
“What would you think about having someone to talk to on a regular basis?”  
  
  
Robyn arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Do you mean a therapist?”  
  
  
“I do,” Tara nodded evenly, “You have a lot of big thoughts and feelings and ideas. It could help you regulate them a bit better.”  
  
  
“And if you do want to speak to someone, it would be in addition to us,” Willow clarified, “Because we’re here, always. But maybe sometimes there’s some stuff you don’t want to talk to your old moms about.”  
  
  
Robyn’s eyes were turned in a requisite upward direction.  
  
  
“Like wardrobe choices.”  
  
  
“And you know what, missy, we’re going to work on that too, that mouth of yours,” Willow added, getting a bit het up but a quick look from Tara made her soften her tone again, “There’s a line between teasing and insulting. Sometimes you cross it.”  
  
  
Robyn’s lips gathered on one side.  
  
  
“I know,” she admitted eventually, “You’re just so easy.”  
  
  
Tara put her palm over Robyn’s heart.  
  
  
“We love that spirit you have deep in there. That caring. But I know something else about you — you’re kind. You have been since you were an itty bitty thing. We don’t want you to think that getting a laugh is more important than that.”  
  
  
She tapped that spot and kissed Robyn’s forehead.  
  
  
“We will let you ponder that.”  
  
  
She let Willow kiss her from the other side.  
  
  
“You don’t have to sleep but everyone is just going to have a little quiet time before we regroup later. We’ll go out for lunch.”  
  
  
“Somewhere on the beach?” Robyn requested and her voice was quite young and excited.  
  
  
“Yeah, totally,” Willow nodded quickly, “Hey, I read in the plane magazine that they produce these huge avocados over here. I bet we’d get a big ole bowl of guac from that!”  
  
  
Robyn sniffed.  
  
  
“They’re unsustainably produced.”  
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
“What about a shave ice?”  
  
  
Robyn considered it for a moment.  
  
  
“That would be okay.”  
  
  
Willow smiled again.  
  
  
“Yeah, I want a pineapple one.”  
  
  
“Mango for me,” Tara smiled too.  
  
  
“Can I have guava?” Robyn asked hopefully.  
  
  
“Any flavor you like,” Willow promised with a little wink.  
  
  
They did a last squeeze of their sandwich stuffing and stood again. Tara went over to Robyn’s luggage and unzipped the front pocket. She took out Robyn’s stuffed tiger, Stripey, and brought it over to her.  
  
  
“I sneaked him into your bag _just in case_.”  
  
  
Robyn smiled and held him tight.  
  
  
Tara smiled and opened the adjoining door. She put it to stay open and mouthed ‘balcony’ at Willow as she walked through.  
  
  
Willow spotted Lily fast asleep on their bed and smiled. At least she was peaceful now.  
  
  
They went out onto the balcony for the first time and took in some warm, fresh ocean air as they calmed down from eventful morning.  
  
  
“We need to be more strict with Lily, give her some kind of routine. Same meal times, factor in a nap and stuff,” Tara said a bit jadedly.  
  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
  
“We have it all written out, I just didn’t think things would escalate so soon.”  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“We didn’t time her pill right, the poor thing. We let her down.”  
  
  
Willow reached over and rubbed Tara’s arm comfortingly.  
  
  
“Wake up, first thing from now on, before we bring them to breakfast even,” she replied definitively, “Well, we asked for an adventurous vacay. We’re certainly getting it.”  
  
  
Tara had to smile and rubbed the hand that was rubbing her.  
  
  
“Would you go down to the breakfast hall and grab something for us? I’m starving.”  
  
  
Willow winked.  
  
  
“I sure did work up your appetite.”  
  
  
“You’re telling me,” Tara chuckled.  
  
  
They stopped and looked at each other, then met for a chaste kiss.  
  
  
Nourishment could wait a few minutes until they replenished their souls.  
  


* * *

  
Kayden sat back on outstretched palms on his towel as he took in the sprawling Pacific Ocean in front of him.  
  
  
He couldn’t believe how far it went on, or that they’d flown across it.  
  
  
He’d only ever seen Lake Erie before.  
  
  
In front of him, JJ was doing his best to catch a tan, and Lily and Emily were building sandcastles.  
  
  
It had surprised him how quickly the little crisis earlier had dissolved. The next time he’d seen Lily she was all smiles and demanding to be fed. Everyone else seemed to just fall back into normal routine, so he had too.  
  
  
Willow and Tara were playing in the water; literally playing. Splashing, chasing each other around. Happy.  
  
  
Kayden didn’t really know that adults could be happy.  
  
  
That anyone could, not truly.  
  
  
“Emily, you’re s'posed to be building the moat,” Lily complained and slapped Emily’s spade away with her spade.  
  
  
Emily started to frown.  
  
  
“I wanna build the castle.”  
  
  
“ _I’m_ building the castle,” Lily said with heavy emphasis and went about refilling her bucket.  
  
  
Emily started to bring her spade back to her body, then suddenly looked up.  
  
  
“N-No Lily.”  
  
  
Lily looked up in surprise.  
  
  
“What?”  
  
  
Emily took her bucket back.  
  
  
“It’s my turn. I wanna build the castle.”  
  
  
Lily just rolled her eyes and started to dig the moat.  
  
  
“Whatever.”  
  
  
Kayden had been bracing himself but everything seemed to be okay.  
  
  
He tilted his head back and caught some of that Hawaiian sun on his face.  
  
  
Hawaii.  
  
  
Whose life was he living?  
  
  
After a few minutes, something cast a shadow. He brought his hand up to shield his eyes and spotted Robyn kicking some sand under her toes.  
  
  
She flopped down beside him.  
  
  
She said nothing and he said nothing.  
  
  
After a bit, Robyn spoke to him while staring straight ahead.  
  
  
“They make you do therapy, right? Moms?”  
  
  
Kayden cocked his head but also kept his focus forward.  
  
  
“Kinda? I think the social workers are the ones who ‘make me’. But they bring me.”  
  
  
“But you…” Robyn paused, putting unusual consideration into her words, “You had like a bad home and stuff? Like, real problems. To talk about.”  
  
  
“I think every problem is a real problem,” Kayden answered easily.  
  
  
Robyn bit on her lower lip.  
  
  
“Does it suck?”  
  
  
“It used to,” Kayden admitted with a nod, “She would just sit there and it would be silent for a long time.”  
  
  
Robyn frowned.  
  
  
“Isn’t the point to talk?”  
  
  
Kayden nodded again.  
  
  
“Yeah, but you gotta talk first.”  
  
  
Robyn paused and thought about it, then looked over at Kayden curiously.  
  
  
“Why’d you start talking?”  
  
  
Kayden felt his styled hair blow in the gentle breeze and smiled.  
  
  
“I guess I started to find my voice.”  
  
  
They lapsed into silence again until Robyn shook her head at her frolicking mothers.  
  
  
“They’re such dorks.”  
  
  
“I think it’s nice,” Kayden replied with a soft shoulder shrug.  
  
  
Robyn rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“You haven’t dealt with it for ten years.”  
  
  
“I’d like to,” Kayden replied, surprising himself.  
  
  
Robyn smiled softly, then pushed his shoulder playfully.  
  
  
“Guess you’re a dork too,” she accused with a giggle and launched herself at him, “Pile on!”  
  
  
Lily jumped up to join and Emily ran along the sand after her.  
  
  
JJ looked up from a passing gaggle of bikini-clad chicks and smiled at the tower of girls Kayden was pretending to fight off.  
  
  
He got his legs under him and ran over, arching himself over them all and catching them in their pile.  
  
  
“Oh, now you asked for it!”  
  
  
Robyn grunted as she found herself pinned.  
  
  
“JJ, get off!”  
  
  
“Say it!” JJ cackled, using all of his strength to keep the girls down, “I won’t move until you say it!”  
  
  
Lily and Emily protested and then started begging Robyn to ‘say it’ when their arms started to cramp up.  
  
  
“UGH,” Robyn screeched in annoyance, “Fine! Your muscles are too big! We can’t deal with your large, superhuman muscles!”  
  
  
JJ sprang back acrobatically.  
  
  
“God-like is my preference but I’ll take superhuman.”  
  
  
He sported his biceps and grinned at Robyn, who rolled her eyes.  
  
  
Kayden was looking on, while shaking sand from his hair, amused.  
  
  
Willow ran up, rubbing her hands together.  
  
  
“What are you kids doing?”  
  
  
Robyn threw her hands in her brother’s direction demonstrably.  
  
  
“Being squashed by JJ’s—”  
  
  
JJ thrust his stomach out.  
  
  
“Abs.”  
  
  
“—ego,” Robyn finished pointedly.  
  
  
Tara jogged up behind Willow and Willow smiled over at her.  
  
  
“Let’s go get some loco moco and leave our abs and egos at the door, huh? Pack up your things, guys.”  
  
  
She picked up her towel and threw it behind Tara, wiggling it to help her dry.  
  
  
“I’d keep you in that bathing suit all vacation long if I could.”  
  
  
Tara got close enough that the towel could be wrapped around them both.  
  
  
“I can wear it beneath other things…”  
  
  
She let her fingers dance up Willow’s exposed collarbone. Willow gulped.  
  
  
“I’m feeling loco something all of a sudden…”  
  
  
“Behave in front of the children,” Tara warned, though with a playful wink, “I’m craving some poke.”  
  
  
“I’d like to be po-kay-ed by you,” Willow waggled her eyebrows.  
  
  
Tara looked over her shoulder and the shimmering splendor behind her.  
  
  
“There’s something in this water…”  
  
  
Willow smiled softly.  
  
  
“I’m just happy.”  
  
  
“Me too,” Tara agreed in the same tender tone, “This was a great idea.”  
  
  
Willow tucked her head under Tara’s chin.  
  
  
“The best.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is eerily timed. It, and all subsequent chapters, were written before the tragedy that took Naya Rivera from us. All my love and condolences go to her family. Thank god she got her boy back on that boat. RIP Naya, you changed a lot of lives, including mine. You will be missed greatly.

  
Willow walked over to the corner of their hotel room, where Tara was sitting on the floor in front of a little butterfly palm tree potted plant that the concierge had let them borrow from the lobby.  
  
  
On the plant, Tara had tied bows made from ribbon and had wrapped a tartan scarf around in place of tinsel. On top, Tara had made an accordion angel by folding paper in just the right shape to sit neatly atop it all.  
  
  
“Wow, baby,” Willow said in an awed tone, “This is amazing. I love the angel.”  
  
  
“I didn’t have many supplies,” Tara replied unsurely.  
  
  
“You did GREAT,” Willow insisted, “I heard of someone up in Canada who made one out of tampons once.”  
  
  
“Those Canadians. Necessity breeds innovation,” Tara replied, moving back on her knees to stand, “Should we do it?”  
  
  
Willow grinned.  
  
  
“It’s so much more fun being on this side of things,” she said as they crept across the room in opposite directions to open the adjoining doors to the kids’ rooms, “Normally they’re the ones waking us up at the crack of dawn.”  
  
  
Silently, they opened the doors and hooked them onto the wall springs so they would stay open. Willow held her hand out with three fingers up. She put one down, then another and when the third curled into her palm, she let out an unholy screech.  
  
  
“KIDS!”  
  
  
Tara watched JJ jump up in bed so fast he nearly tumbled right out of it. She went in and shook the blankets on both beds.  
  
  
“Boys, wake up!”  
  
  
“Girls!” Willow yelled from the opposite room as she banged her fists against their mattresses, “Santa came! He found you, I told you he would!”  
  
  
The girls all woke with a shock, but Lily got the message pretty quick and really did tumble out of bed — on purpose. She spun herself around until Willow started jabbing her finger toward their room.  
  
  
“In there, in there, in there!”  
  
  
By the time Lily realized where she needed to go, Emily was on her tail with nervous excitement playing out on her face. They skidded into Willow and Tara’s room and spotted the makeshift tree and presents sitting underneath.  
  
  
At this point, JJ was walking into the room in just his boxers with messy hair, rubbing his eyes.  
  
  
“Damn, Santa can’t wait until the sun comes up?”  
  
  
“He’s still on Buffalo time,” Willow replied, sticking out her tongue.  
  
  
JJ swung his arms up and sat on the edge of the bed.  
  
  
“What kind of haul did the big bearded dude bring this year?”  
  
  
“Why don’t you find your present and see?” Tara replied sweetly.  
  
  
She moved back to Kayden, who was lingering in the doorway unsurely.  
  
  
“You too, sweetie. Santa didn’t forget about you.”  
  
  
He looked surprised but wandered into the room over to the foot of the plant where gifts were being distributed.  
  
  
“I FOUND MINE!” Lily screeched with joy, “IT’S THE BIGGEST ONE!”  
  
  
It was indeed a big, long box, which Lily took great joy in tearing every bit of paper off. She looked up with shiny eyes.  
  
  
“What is it, Lil?” Willow asked eagerly.  
  
  
“It’s a piano,” Lily replied, her voice quivering with awe, “THAT I CAN PLAY WITH MY FEET!”  
  
  
She started trying to rip into the piano mat box and Willow came over to help so she didn’t break it.  
  
  
While she was on the floor, she pushed another gift toward Emily.  
  
  
“I think this is your one, sweetie.”  
  
  
Emily was more cautious with her unwrapping, sliding her finger under the tap and being careful not to tear any edges. When she finally got the item inside out, she wasn’t sure for a moment what it was. Just a carved wooden box.  
  
  
Then she opened it and the plethora of pens almost blinded her.  
  
  
She gasped and ran her hand along all of them.  
  
  
“So many different colors.”  
  
  
“Wow, that looks just like my first big girl pen set!” Willow exclaimed happily.  
  
  
Emily sat back on her butt and started to take each pen out to examine.  
  
  
“Boys,” Tara prompted, nodding encouragingly.  
  
  
JJ skipped over one box to another wearing his name and tore through the packaging. When he saw the logo on the box inside, he looked up with an arched eyebrow.  
  
  
“No way are these the new Nikes,” he said skeptically, “I’m going to open the box and they’ll be my old ones wrapped up, right?”  
  
  
“Santa wouldn’t do that, doofus,” Lily retorted as she impatiently waited for Willow to figure out how to open the battery compartment on her piano mat.  
  
  
JJ popped open the lid and his eyes widened considerably.  
  
  
“No freakin’ way!”  
  
  
He dropped onto the bed to pull the new sneakers on and started to strut about in just his shoes and boxers.  
  
  
Tara nudged Kayden’s shoulder gently.  
  
  
“I think that last box is for you.”  
  
  
Kayden looked at her and slowly at the box sitting under the plant, the last thing there but for a very thin item that would have looked like a large envelope but for the fact that it was wrapped like all of the others.  
  
  
He stepped over the rest of the kids eagerly absorbed in their own gifts and picked up the box.  
  
  
He just held it for a minute.  
  
  
He wasn’t sure if he’d ever gotten a Christmas gift before, much less from ‘Santa’.  
  
  
His mother may have indulged in the festivities but he didn’t remember.  
  
  
His fingers trembled a bit as he took the paper off, not sure what to expect.  
  
  
He saw the image on the box before he saw the words: a big chunky pair of headphones. Then he saw the words: cushioned; wireless; noise-canceling. _Nice_ headphones, expensive headphones, headphones he had only dreamed of before.  
  
  
He looked up to say ‘thank you’ but Tara just smiled and put a finger to her lips, discreetly pointing at the girls.  
  
  
Kayden just nodded and slowly smiled as he sat on a nearby chair to take his new toy out of the box.  
  
  
Willow finally got the mat working and turned the volume low so Lily wouldn’t disturb any other guests in the hotel.  
  
  
About three seconds later, she was already planning to write Santa a strongly worded letter.  
  
  
“Lil, don’t jump so hard, okay?”  
  
  
Lily did try to tone it down but she was just so excited.  
  
  
On the floor, Willow pivoted and grabbed the thin gift, and handed it across to her final daughter.  
  
  
“Robbie,” she smiled, “Last one.”  
  
  
Robyn eyed Willow suspiciously.  
  
  
“I don’t like how Santa propagates a capitalist agenda by promoting endless commercialism.”  
  
  
Willow did her best to keep her smile on her face.  
  
  
“But the elves build all of the toys up in the North Pole, honey. It’s a self-sustaining economy and ultimately philanthropic.”  
  
  
Robyn looked down glumly.  
  
  
“I suspect they’re working under slave labor.”  
  
  
Willow shoved the gift at Robyn.  
  
  
“Just open the present.”  
  
  
Robyn took it and examined it warily as if a bank would jump out and start charging her interest.  
  
  
She took the wrapping away and saw it was a little folder. Inside, was a certificate.  
  
  
“Well?” Willow prompted pointedly, failing to suppress a grin.  
  
  
Robyn smiled giddily.  
  
  
“I got a polio vaccine for 500 children and pregnant women in my name.”  
  
  
“That’s great!” Willow replied enthusiastically, “That could be a whole village worth.”  
  
  
Tara came up and sat by Willow on the floor.  
  
  
“I think there’s something else in there,” she said, peering over Robyn to look in the folder.  
  
  
Robyn noticed there was something tucked into the opposite side of the folder too. It was facing away from her, so she had to take it out and turn it around before she could see it.  
  
  
Her whole body froze in shock, then suddenly she jumped up, holding the item a foot away from her.  
  
  
“A SIGNED PICTURE OF MEGAN RAPINOE!”  
  
  
Willow smiled smugly.  
  
  
“I heard Santa had to use all of his FBI resources to get that.”  
  
  
“IT SAYS MY NAME,” Robyn screeched, turning herself about in circles, “SHE WROTE MY NAME! SHE KNOWS MY NAME!”  
  
  
Willow turned her head to one side.  
  
  
“Strictly speaking, he might have broken the law—”  
  
  
Tara squeezed Willow’s thigh.  
  
  
“I think Santa knows what he did was all for good.”  
  
  
Willow leaned in to murmur in Tara’s ear.  
  
  
“Tiny Jewish Santa did appreciate the visit from Mrs. Claus last night.”  
  
  
She kissed Tara’s cheek and they shared a smile.  
  
  
“Hey, do you guys want to video chat with Woofy?” Tara suggested.  
  
  
It would give her a chance to gather the paper.  
  
  
There were ‘yeahs!’ all-around at that suggestion and Willow put the call through on her phone and gave it to JJ to hold.  
  
  
She walked over to Tara, who gathered her in a hug.  
  
  
“You pulled it off, love.”  
  
  
Willow smiled bashfully.  
  
  
“No biggie.”  
  
  
Tara pressed her lips to Willow’s lips three times in a row.  
  
  
“There’s a lot more where that came from.”  
  
  
“Oh, Mrs. Claus, I see you’ve returned…” Willow murmured again and they laughed together before going about to clear the mess that was way too easy to get out of control in a small hotel room.  
  
  
When the video chat with Woofy was over, during which both Willow and Tara promptly noticed Alice lounging in the background of Jesse's apartment in her pajamas, there was some more playing with the new toys and then down for breakfast. The chefs were doing pancakes and though they couldn’t compare to Tara’s, everyone had one.  
  
  
After breakfast and more playing, Willow found herself bringing the whole family back down to the beach.  
  
  
They really loved it there; she just kept coming back to the same word — paradise.  
  
  
They’d decided to do a Secret Santa more for the excitement of buying for others than to receive more gifts and had brought everyone to an open market the day before to pick a gift for their randomly-chosen recipient. Willow couldn’t think of a better place than the sandy shores for them to be able to spread out and exchange.  
  
  
“Who wants to go first?” she asked as they sat in a sort-of-circle shape, each clutching a gift wrapped in various makeshift things like leaves or napkins or in JJ’s case, taped-together gum wrappers.  
  
  
“Me, me, me!” Lily held her hand up as far as it would go.  
  
  
“Who’d you get?” Willow asked cheerily.  
  
  
Lily held up her gift, wrapped in colorful napkins and two elastic bands, which was also the biggest of all of them. She bunny-hopped over to JJ and held it out for him with glee.  
  
  
“Aww,” JJ grinned, taking the gift as it was offered, “Thanks, kiddo.”  
  
  
She leaned in for a hug, then threw herself back into her spot to nervously watch JJ open his present.  
  
  
The first elastic band flew off to start its new life among the shells and JJ was more careful in removing the second lest Robyn brand him a litterer. He held up a short-sleeved green and white Hawaiian shirt.  
  
  
There were suitable ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ as JJ donned the shirt over the tank top he was wearing. He pulled the sides so it fit on his shoulders and looked down at himself and grinned.  
  
  
“Damn, I really can make anything look good.”  
  
  
Robyn flicked his ear and he flicked her thigh back but they stopped when Tara gave them a look.  
  
  
“Do you like it, JJ, do you like it!?” Lily asked with her nails almost bitten to the quick.  
  
  
“Green is my color,” JJ grinned across to her, “I love it, Lil, thanks.”  
  
  
Lily beamed and rocked back and forth happily.  
  
  
“Jake, you received, so you should go next,” Tara encouraged with a nod.  
  
  
Jake held his small gift out and presented it to the group, slowly holding it out to each and every one of them to build the anticipation before finally dropping in front of Emily. He let the gift fall into her lap and he reached out to tickle her belly. She howled with laughter and her glasses fell clean off her face.  
  
  
JJ found them in the sand, brushed them off, and slid them back over her ears.  
  
  
“Merry Christmas Emmy.”  
  
  
“Merry Christmas, JJ,” Emily replied with some color in her cheeks as all eyes were on her to unwrap her present.  
  
  
She tore away the gum wrappers until she revealed what was inside; a pair of socks with pineapples on them saying ‘Aloha’. Emily bit her lip to hold back her smile. She whipped off her little flip flops and pulled the socks on so she could wiggle her feet and make the pineapples ‘talk’.  
  
  
“Thank you JJ!” in said in delight.  
  
  
JJ winked at Emily and smiled contentedly.  
  
  
“The last time I saw you so interested in your feet you were five months old,” Willow quipped and no one but Tara laughed, “Emmy who did you get?”  
  
  
Emily walked forward on her knees shyly and dropped a tiny present at Kayden’s feet before rushing back to her spot.  
  
  
The present was the size of a matchbox and not even as thick. It was wrapped in a page torn from a magazine and had been carefully lined up so the colors were consistent.  
  
  
Kayden slipped his finger under the piece of tape and peeled back the wrapping. Inside was a keychain with an image of a Hawaiian sunrise on one side and his name on the other.  
  
  
Kayden found himself immediately choked up.  
  
  
The headphones had been thoughtful and extravagant and this was cheap but thoughtful in a different way, though he guessed not the way Emily had intended. She saw a shared interest and thought of him and that was touching.  
  
  
But a keychain, specifically, meant so much more, because this was the first keychain he owned that would be attached to a key for a home, not just a house.  
  
  
He hoped his emotion wasn’t obvious as he looked up.  
  
  
“This is so great.”  
  
  
“I-It’s like what we drawed,” Emily said nervously.  
  
  
“It’s so cool,” Kayden gushed appropriately, “Thanks, Emily. I love it.”  
  
  
Emily breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. Kayden hooked his new keychain to his belt loop just to make sure he didn’t lose it.  
  
  
“Smart boy,” Willow grinned and Kayden blushed.  
  
  
Still blushing, he shyly handed his wrapped gift across the circle to Lily, who almost snatched his hand off to get it. It was wrapped in newspaper but Kayden had used a gold pen to decorate it and make it a bit more festive.  
  
  
Lily didn’t seem to even see it as she tore it off to see what was inside.  
  
  
“IT’S MY FAVORITE COLOR!” Lily screeched, shaking with excitement, “ALL OF THEM!”  
  
  
Inside, a rainbow puka shell necklace lay ready for Lily to tug over her head, which she promptly did. She shook her neck from side to side.  
  
  
“ISN’T IT BEAUTIFUL?!”  
  
  
“Looks great, panda!” Willow said keenly.  
  
  
“Great buy,” Tara complimented Kayden, sitting right beside her, “Lil, do you have something to say?”  
  
  
Lily threw herself at Kayden.  
  
  
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”  
  
  
Kayden smiled, pleased.  
  
  
“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas.”  
  
  
“Merry freakin’ Christmas!” Lily exclaimed and started jumping up and down, sending sand in everyone’s direction.  
  
  
Willow got Lily settled down and Tara took the next turn since Lily had already gone. She handed her wrapped gift to Robyn in a white box.  
  
  
“And it’s recycled cardboard,” she reassured with a wink.  
  
  
Robyn beamed and even more so when she saw what was inside: a reusable water bottle with a couple of Hawaiian-themed stickers already pressed on.  
  
  
“Thank you, Mom,” she said, closing Tara in a hug, “My water tastes better already knowing drinking it isn’t contributing to our polluted oceans.”  
  
  
Tara kissed the top of Robyn’s head.  
  
  
“Love you, bean.”  
  
  
Robyn smiled and produced her gift, which she tossed at Willow. Willow accepted with some side-eye but it was all gone by the time she revealed what was inside.  
  
  
“Coffee!” she exclaimed happily as she read the back of the pack of locally-produced beans, “You get me. You really get me.”  
  
  
She put a hand on her heart and pretended to wipe away tears. Robyn rolled her eyes but accepted a side-long hug.  
  
  
“Only you left Momma!”  
  
  
“You must’ve got Mommy!” Emily exclaimed excitedly.  
  
  
There was a bit of a groan between JJ and Robyn but Willow ignored and happily presented Tara with a little jewelry box. Tara gave her a bit of a pointed look because she was sure this had probably broached the $10 limit they had put on Secret Santa gifts but was pleased as punch when she opened it to see a gold Hawaiian heirloom bangle with etchings of flowers and ancient runes.  
  
  
“It’s gorgeous,” she said, taking it out to slip up her arm, “Oh, Willow, I love it. Thank you so much.”  
  
  
She leaned in and they met for a kiss, for which the groaning was extended.  
  
  
“Oh shut up,” Willow called back playfully, “Go play in the water or something.”  
  
  
JJ and Robyn looked at each other and did just that, except they passed by a free volleyball net on the way and picked up a game instead. Kayden however decided he would test out the water and waded right into the ocean in his shorts and t-shirt.  
  
  
On the sand, Willow watched JJ check out a couple of older women as they walked by and lowered their sunglasses to check him out too.  
  
  
Willow frowned disapprovingly at the women; surely they could tell how young he was?  
  
  
She looked to Tara and nodded toward him.  
  
  
“Is it weird that he’s never had a girlfriend?” she asked, watching how he made his pecs dance, “Considering he’s…”  
  
  
“Appropriately attracted to girls for his age?” Tara supplied easily.  
  
  
Willow considered it and nodded.  
  
  
“I was going to say ‘gaga for the ladies’, but sure.”  
  
  
“Maybe he recognizes he couldn’t commit to just one girl right now,” Tara suggested, stretching her legs out so she could run her toes through the sand, “I think it’s admirable. I’d rather a player for a son than a cheater.”  
  
  
Willow frowned. She didn’t want either. She forced herself to drag her eyes away. She looked at Tara and smiled.  
  
  
“Or maybe he’s like his Momma and is waiting for The One to show up and walk right into him.”  
  
  
Tara tapped Willow’s nose.  
  
  
“You walked into me.”  
  
  
Willow shrugged.  
  
  
“Debatable.”  
  
  
“Not even a little bit,” Tara smiled affectionately, “You spilled coffee all over me. Apologized profusely. Even took my dry cleaning.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrows waggled.  
  
  
“I was just trying to get into your pants.”  
  
  
Building new sandcastles feet away, Emily looked up, spade in hand.  
  
  
“Why did you want to get into Mommy’s pants?”  
  
  
“Yeah, you wouldn’t even both fit in there,” Lily added with a deep sigh about how stupid adults could be.  
  
  
Willow and Tara looked at each other and contained the laughter.  
  
  
At the volleyball net, JJ stumbled back to try and hit the ball that Robyn sent over the net. He accidentally backed right into a girl about his age. She was half his height, with her dark blonde hair and pale skin, though it had the rustic glow of a recently acquired tan under the Hawaiian sun.  
  
  
She stumbled and shot him a dirty look.  
  
  
“Watch where you’re going, jerk!”  
  
  
JJ held his hand up.  
  
  
“Whoa. Chill out…” he peered at the name embroidered in cursive on the top of her shirt, “Brittany.”  
  
  
The girl looked down at herself and rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“Ugh. This is my mom’s shirt.”  
  
  
JJ nodded easily.  
  
  
“What do I call you then?”  
  
  
“Cleo!” a woman called from the deck of the bar of the hotel.  
  
  
“Ay, Mami,” Cleo called back and brushed past JJ to hurry away, “Ugh.”  
  
  
“Merry Christmas to you too!” JJ called as he picked up the ball from the ground, but his gaze lingered.  
  
  
Robyn noticed.  
  
  
“You liiiiike her,” she teased and opened and closed her fists in front of her face, “Heart-eyes, heart-eyes, heart-eyes!”  
  
  
“As if, butt-head,” JJ scoffed but he did take a sneaky look as the young woman retreated into the ball completely, “You gonna spike me or what?”  
  
  
He served the ball over the net and they continued their game.  
  
  
Around lunchtime, everyone went back to their rooms for a nap and when they returned back downstairs later on that afternoon, the whole outside area right down to the beach had been set up as a luau.  
  
  
It seemed like there was food wherever they turned with unusual names like _lomi lomi_ and _kulolo_. Waitresses in hula dress walked around carrying trays of appetizers and drinks and everyone was in fine, tropical spirits. Including Willow and Tara as they clinked their Mai Tai’s with a ‘cheers’.  
  
  
Lily and Emily ran to a hula girl to get lessons on the hoop while Robyn went about enterprising a drinks scam by going up to the drunker people and offering to refill their drinks for no charge, tip only. She couldn’t really believe she got away with it or that the bar refilled the drinks for her no problem, but hey, she wasn’t going to object.  
  
  
Kayden brought his sketchbook with him so he could capture the image of the hula girls and JJ was fidgety every time he saw a wave of dark blonde hair pass by.  
  
  
While passing by the bar, he spotted a body that looked identical to the girl from earlier but when he went up to say hello he realized it wasn’t.  
  
  
“Oh, hey,” he stumbled out and noticed the woman was the person that had been calling the girl earlier, whom she'd called Mami, “Um…Brittany right?”  
  
  
The woman looked JJ up and down with piercing dark brown eyes.  
  
  
“Brittany is my wife’s name. My name is Santana. Mrs. Pierez if you're nasty. And you best not forget it.”  
  
  
Her drink was placed on the bar. He picked it up and handed it to her. She looked at him oddly and started to walk away.  
  
  
“If you’re looking for a tip,” she said when she spotted JJ lingering, “Try lowlights. They’ll stop your face from looking so washed out.”  
  
  
JJ watched her leave, blinking heavily.  
  
  
It was another thirty minutes before he spotted Cleo, helping one of the staff move empty dishes into a big basin. The staff member thanked her and she nodded and moved off to sit in the sand. JJ promptly brought himself over and sat down beside her with a winning grin.  
  
  
“Two moms, huh?”  
  
  
Cleo arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“What?”  
  
  
“You have two moms,” JJ repeated, still grinning like an idiot.  
  
  
“What’s it to you?” Cleo asked, aggressively enough that JJ would have quickly left if he was here for nefarious reasons.  
  
  
“I-I have two moms,” JJ replied, blushing at having to clear his throat.  
  
  
Cleo rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“What, you want some kind of twinning award?”  
  
  
Cleo’s words sounded like she wanted him to get lost and yet he felt a pull.  
  
  
“I can already tell which mom you take after,” he chuckled.  
  
  
Cleo cracked a smile but tried to hide it.  
  
  
“I see you met my Mami.”  
  
  
JJ saw his in and leaned back easily.  
  
  
“Any siblings?”  
  
  
Cleo slowly shook her head.  
  
  
“None,” she answered and after considering for a moment whether she wanted to continue this, and deciding in the affirmative, she nodded at him, “You?”  
  
  
JJ nodded.  
  
  
“Four.”  
  
  
“FOUR!?” Cleo exclaimed, her legs straightening out in shock.  
  
  
“One foster brother, three little sisters,” JJ counted them out on his fingers.  
  
  
Cleo’s eyes slowly returned to a normal diameter.  
  
  
“That’s a lot of chicks in your household.”  
  
  
“And the foster brother only came around a few months ago,” JJ replied with a raised brow, “I’m used to being a ladies man.”  
  
  
Cleo looked away and shook her head. After a second, she looked back at him. Why was his face so intriguing?  
  
  
“You must be rich,” she commented, “For your parents to bring you all out here.”  
  
  
JJ frowned slightly.  
  
  
“Guess I never thought about it,” he answered honestly, “Where do you live?”  
  
  
“New York,” Cleo answered, relaxing back again.   
  
  
“City?” JJ asked and when he got a nod, he pointed a finger upward, “Upstate.”  
  
  
Cleo looked intrigued.  
  
  
“ _You_ must be rich,” JJ countered, “To live in the city and come to Hawaii for Christmas.”  
  
  
Cleo looked far away for a moment.  
  
  
“My mom is a part-time math professor, part-time dancer. She owns her own studio. And my mami is an actress… and her own publicist.”  
  
  
“So she’s always chasing herself?” JJ asked with a grin.  
  
  
Cleo chuckled, low.  
  
  
“Fighting with herself, more like. If she didn’t have my mom to keep her in check she’d be so hard you could carve a monument into her. But one pinky link and she’s all melted again.”  
  
  
JJ nodded evenly.  
  
  
“You come to Hawaii a lot?”  
  
  
“We alternate between here and Lesbos island,” Cleo answered and leaned her head up to watch the last bit of sun disappear, “I prefer it here.”  
  
  
JJ’s hand was skittish in the sand.  
  
  
“I prefer you here too.”  
  
  
Cleo threw her head back and laughed.  
  
  
“Does that actually ever work? Those lines?”  
  
  
JJ looked a little wounded but took it on the chin.  
  
  
“Truth be told, I don’t use that many lines,” he admitted and found words falling out of his mouth that he’d never voiced before, “My moms have been together for twenty-somethin’ years and I still see them get excited when they hear each other coming in the door.”  
  
  
He blew out some air.  
  
  
“I see girls all the time that are so gorgeous I feel blinded but I’ve never had someone who made me feel like I’d still be excited to see them in 20 years.”  
  
  
Cleo brought her knees up to her chest and looked at JJ sincerely.  
  
  
“That’s a lot of pressure to put on your first girlfriend. Not to mention yourself.”  
  
  
JJ threw one hand up and gestured it at random.  
  
  
“My moms always say ‘don’t date someone you wouldn’t bring home to us’ and I guess I’ve been…leaning pretty heavy on that.”  
  
  
“Judgmental?” Cleo asked sympathetically.  
  
  
“No,” JJ shook his head and chuckled wryly, “Momma, a little bit. But no. I just can’t deal with disappointing them.”  
  
  
Cleo looked at him for a long moment.  
  
  
“What age are you?”  
  
  
“16,” JJ answered easily.  
  
  
“If you can’t disappoint your parents now, when can you?” Cleo asked with a small grin, “It’s called living.”  
  
  
JJ slowly smiled in acknowledgment, then nodded at her.  
  
  
“Do you disappoint your parents?”  
  
  
“Regularly,” Cleo nodded quickly.  
  
  
JJ looked out as the hula dancers moved off and a man with sticks of fire took up the spot.  
  
  
“Would they be disappointed if you watched the fire show with some dude you just met who doesn’t watch where he’s going?”  
  
  
“Probably not,” Cleo shrugged, then offered him a slow smile, “But I can lie and say we smoked crack or something.”  
  
  
JJ grinned and unbeknownst to either of them, their pinkies crept closer together.  
  
  
As the evening went on, Willow and Tara sat on logs around a fire pit and the children slowly came to them, one by one as tiredness set in. JJ was the last to get there with a warm but contained grin prominent on his face and dropped himself onto the last space of log.  
  
  
“Mom, will you sing to us?” he asked happily.  
  
  
“Yeah, yeah!” Emily and Lily encouraged eagerly and Kayden nodded similarly.  
  
  
Even Robyn seemed receptive, though she was also focusing on the bills she was counting in her pocket.  
  
  
“Do it, baby,” Willow nodded at her wife.  
  
  
Tara looked bashful but wrapped her arm around Willow and smiled out at her family.  
  
  
“ _Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…_ ” she sang low, melodically, “ _Jack Frost nipping at your nose._ ”  
  
  
She tapped Emily’s nose as she was nearest to her and Emily beamed.  
  
  
“ _Yuletide carols being sung by a choir…_ ” Tara continued and everyone was starting to sway slightly, “ _And folks dressed up like Eskimos._ ”  
  
  
“Eskimos is an offensive term,” Robyn muttered but everyone ignored her.  
  
  
Tara's singing drew a bit of a crowd, but she didn’t feel self-conscious as she sang to the other gathering holiday-makers.  
  
  
“ _Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe help to make the season bright._ ”  
  
  
She reached out and stroked Emily’s hair.  
  
  
“ _Tiny tots, with their eyes all aglow will find it hard to sleep tonight._ ”  
  
  
She sang through the verses and enjoyed the rapt attention and sleepy smiles she was getting in return.  
  
  
“ _And so I’m offering this simple phrase to kids from one to ninety-two._ ”  
  
  
She pointed to each of her children and though it was such a simple gesture, it made them all feel special.  
  
  
“ _Although it’s been said many times, many ways…_ ”  
  
  
She hummed and glanced at Willow adoringly, who gazed adoringly right back.  
  
  
“ _Merry Christmas to you._ ”


	11. Chapter 11

Willow walked back into her room from the girls’ room and left the adjoining door just enough ajar that she could hear any mischief.  
  
  
She went to Tara, who was sitting on the balcony with a glass of champagne. There was another sitting on the table waiting for Willow.  
  
  
“I knew they wouldn’t make it ‘til midnight,” she said with a smile as she plopped down in the chair next to Tara, happily exhausted, “What with the timezones and all of those surfing lessons today. Wore ‘em out!”  
  
  
“You did though,” Tara smiled.  
  
  
“I did,” Willow smiled easily and looked at Tara adoringly for a second until a burst of fireworks broke out in the sky, “Just in time.”  
  
  
She threw her arms around Tara, who kissed beneath Willow’s ear.  
  
  
“Happy New Year.”  
  
  
“Happy Birthday,” Willow returned and leaned back enough to press three quick kisses on Tara’s lips, “I am honored to spend another one with you.”  
  
  
They clinked their glasses and each took a slow, grounding sip and their hands linked between the chairs. They watched the fireworks together in companionable silence.  
  
  
“I’ll be so sad to leave,” Willow said as the last blue burst exploded in the sky, “This has been paradise.”  
  
  
“It has,” Tara agreed and smiled at Willow easily, “But we’re not leaving today.”  
  
  
“No,” Willow said as she relaxed back into the chair, “Not today.”  
  
  
And as she smiled at her wife for the millionth time in her life, she knew paradise was not this one place, it was wherever Tara was holding her hand.  
  


* * *

  
Tara brushed a finger against Willow’s cheek, gently coaxing her out of sleep.  
  
  
She had a moment to enjoy falling in love with her wife’s face and all of the new creases and lines she’d seen grow there over the years. Each one just made Tara fall a little bit deeper.  
  
  
Willow awoke to take a huge influx of air, making her nostrils flare. Tara laughed quietly.  
  
  
“Wha’s wrong?” Willow asked, looking around with a wild head of hair.  
  
  
“Wake up time,” Tara said softly.  
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
It felt early.  
  
  
She looked at the clock.  
  
  
It _was_ early.  
  
  
“It’s early,” she said a bit dumbly.  
  
  
Tara reached for a cup on the nightstand.  
  
  
“I brought you coffee.”  
  
  
Willow took it and already felt a bit more awake as the scent rose to her nostrils.  
  
  
“Are the kids running wild?”  
  
  
“Fast asleep,” Tara smiled, rubbing Willow’s leg atop the blanket, “JJ knows to text me when everyone wakes up, but they had late nights so I’m hoping they’ll stay out for a while.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrows knitted together.  
  
  
“…why would he need to text you? Where will you be?”  
  
  
“With you,” Tara answered cheerily.  
  
  
Willow could only smile through a good-natured roll of her eyes.  
  
  
“Where will _we_ be?”  
  
  
Tara patted Willow’s thigh.  
  
  
“Get dressed and meet me downstairs.”  
  
  
Willow watched Tara go and grinned in her sleepy haze.  
  
  
After a minute or so of imbibing the sweet coffee, she scooted out of bed and got dressed. Not knowing what was planned, she tried to remember what Tara had on. She knew it was a pair of cute pink shorts that were hugging Tara’s butt as she walked away. And when she thought for a moment, she recalled a white blouse with a decidedly starchy collar that Willow loved to see Tara’s neck wrapped in.  
  
  
Casual but not fall-asleep-under-the-parasol casual.  
  
  
She looked quickly through her options and stuck with some dark linen shorts and a plain green t-shirt.  
  
  
When she got downstairs, she trailed to a halt a few feet in front of Tara, who was leaning against a sleek, red Mustang with the top down and the plush interior just itching to be sat in.  
  
  
“Tara…?” Willow said, one eyebrow very slowly lifting into her hairline.  
  
  
Tara smirked.  
  
  
“I saw you eyeing that pretty little thing up in the airport.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes lit up and then filled with tears. She came over and took Tara’s hands.  
  
  
“Tara, it’s _your_ birthday.”  
  
  
Tara winked and lifted her hand to wave the keys.  
  
  
“That’s why you’re going to be my chauffeur.”  
  
  
Willow grinned and grabbed them.  
  
  
“You bet I am.”  
  
  
She hopped into the driver’s seat and ran her hands reverently over the wheel and along the edge of the door.  
  
  
Tara got in on the passenger side and closed the door firmly.  
  
  
“Wait,” she said, holding up a finger, “One last thing.”  
  
  
She opened the glove compartment and pulled out what was inside. A scarf, which she tied around her face to stop her hair from blowing and some thick, oversized sunglasses which she slipped over her eyes. She couldn’t look more the part and Willow’s face was near the splitting point from grinning because of it.  
  
  
“I could not love you more,” she said as she turned the keys in the ignition, “And yet somehow I know I will.”  
  
  
She perched herself, ready.  
  
  
“Where to, madam?”  
  
  
Tara through her hands about airily.  
  
  
“Anywhere. Everywhere.”  
  
  
Willow somehow grinned even harder.  
  
  
She sped away from the hotel’s curb and immediately lavished the feeling of the wind whipping her cheeks.  
  
  
They didn’t need to talk for this excursion together, they just enjoyed cruising around the beautiful landscape so plush with greenery and blue ocean. A volcano they’d all visited the day before up close was so vast that even from afar it dominated the skyline at every turn. The kids had done a zipline and Willow had chickened out but she was getting all of the view she needed right here.  
  
  
Tara massaged the back of Willow’s neck and on more than one occasion threw her head back to laugh joyously when they would catch each other in a smile.  
  
  
That sound on the wind could sustain Willow indefinitely.  
  
  
When they were on a tiny, winding road with mountains of rain forest all around, Tara let her hand fall down Willow’s arm.  
  
  
“I have a last stop, chauffeur.”  
  
  
Willow made a rolling motion with her arm.  
  
  
“I serve at your pleasure, madam.”  
  
  
Tara loaded up the address she wanted to go to left her phone in the center console for Willow to follow. This car didn’t have many gizmos or gadgets (as Tara saw them) but not even Willow seemed to care that she had to keep glancing down at the Sat Nav or that it wasn’t voice-controlled or had a sensor that kept her eye line like the minivan they’d rented had.  
  
  
Willow came to a stop outside what looked like a strip mall, but smaller. Just a small row of buildings, at least two of which were residential.  
  
  
She consulted the phone but the name of the shop was in Hawaiian and Willow couldn’t understand it. One of the store options was out as far as Willow was concerned, so she looked in confusion at the other, closed, store.  
  
  
“Tara, that’s a liquor store. It won’t even open for a few hours.”  
  
  
“Not that one,” Tara shook her head with a slowly spreading grin, “Beside it.”  
  
  
Willow looked again at the other store, her eyes widening in gradual increments.  
  
  
“But that’s…”  
  
  
Tara quirked an eyebrow.  
  
  
“This is my birthday gift from you.”  
  
  
She hopped out of the car and it took Willow a full ten seconds to follow.  
  
  
“How is this a gift for you?”  
  
  
“You’re paying for it,” Tara replied with a wink as she opened the door and walked inside.  
  
  
Two big Hawaiian men were sitting behind a desk in typical attire; shirt, board shorts, and slippahs, a type of flip flop that seemed to adorn the feet of any and every local.  
  
  
They looked up and smiled but didn’t move much when first Tara and then Willow walked inside.  
  
  
“Aloha.”  
  
  
“Aloha,” Tara smiled as she strode over, “I made an appointment. Well, I asked to make an appointment but I was told to just show up.”  
  
  
Willow looked around at the art adorned on the walls.  
  
  
Lots of roses and hearts and skulls.  
  
  
Yep.  
  
  
There was no denying it.  
  
  
This was a tattoo shop.  
  
  
Her gaze dragged back to Tara just in time to see her being carted away to a back room.  
  
  
“Whoa!” Willow skidded over, waiting for Tara to reveal this was all some big practical joke, “Wait. What…I mean…what are you…?”  
  
  
Tara removed her sunglasses from her face and released her scarf so her hair fell freely. She put them in Willow’s hands and smiled the cutest smug smile Willow had ever seen.  
  
  
“Your job is just to drive me around and look pretty.”  
  
  
And with that, she turned on her heel and disappeared into a back room where Willow spotted lounging tables and a machine she’d never seen before but looked decidedly pointy.  
  
  
The door shut in her face and Willow was still expecting Tara to come out and gloat about fooling her.  
  
  
But a minute ticked past, then two.  
  
  
Then Willow heard a buzzing.  
  
  
She turned to the second man, who was idly sketching away behind the desk. His hands were so big but his pencil was so light and airy between his fingers.  
  
  
Her eyes skirted around the place for a moment before she found herself approaching the desk.  
  
  
“You don’t…by any chance…happen to have another available slot?”  
  
  
An hour or so later, Willow was standing in that exact same spot, swinging her arms by her side and bouncing up on her toes nervously.  
  
  
Tara, a little red-faced but smiling, came through the door with a grin and ‘thank you’ for the man inside. She waved at him and pulled the door closed, then beamed at Willow. Those endorphins had well and truly kicked in.  
  
  
“Mahalo,” she said to the man behind the desk as she walked past, “Mahalo nui loa!”  
  
  
“‘A’ ole palikir,” he returned cheerfully.  
  
  
She looked to Willow again and walked over giddily.  
  
  
“I already paid, as instructed,” Willow intoned in a faux-solemn voice, “Do I at least get to see what I paid for?”  
  
  
Tara put her index finger on her chin and pretended to think about it, then grinned at Willow, and with dazzling eyes, she offered her hand.  
  
  
What could Willow do but accept?  
  
  
Tara made some gesture to the man behind the desk, who nodded in acknowledgment. Tara then brought Willow into a smaller room to the side, which happened to be an accessible bathroom.  
  
  
Willow knew what was coming before Tara had even reached for the button on her shorts.  
  
  
She watched Tara gingerly pull her shorts and underwear down and while it was a sight she always was happy to behold, she was even more eager this time to see what her wife decided to imprint on her lovely skin. There was plastic wrap over the fresh ink but it was pulled taut so Willow could make it out.  
  
  
Following the outer curve of her right buttock were the roots, trunk, and leaves of a tree, all in gentle browns and greens.  
  
  
“It’s a tree,” Willow said, having to resist the urge to reach out and touch it.  
  
  
Tara looked over her shoulder and met Willow’s eye.  
  
  
“It’s a Willow tree.”  
  
  
Willow gasped softly and looked again.  
  
  
It was true.  
  
  
It really was a willow tree.  
  
  
She laughed.  
  
  
“Did you get it on the butt so no one else would see it?”  
  
  
Tara raised an eyebrow.  
  
  
“How’d you know?”  
  
  
Willow gulped nervously.  
  
  
“Because I had the exact same idea.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes widened and she promptly pulled her clothing back up as she spun around.  
  
  
“Willow, are you serious?”  
  
  
Willow reached across herself to rub her shoulder nervously.  
  
  
“Mine is really stupid compared to yours!”  
  
  
“Show me,” Tara demanded.  
  
  
Willow sheepishly pulled up her shorts on one side. She didn’t quite need to disrobe to show off her latest doodle.  
  
  
Tara bent down to get a good look. It was a simple little design, a star wearing a lopsided crown.  
  
  
When Tara didn’t say anything, Willow swallowed nervously.  
  
  
“Because your name means ‘Queen’ and ‘Star’.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes closed and blinked away some tears. She rose back up and laughed as she rubbed the heel of her hand against her eyes. Willow was pleased by the reaction and threw her arms around Tara’s neck.  
  
  
“I can’t believe we just did that.”  
  
  
“I can’t believe _you_ just did that,” Tara returned with another laugh.  
  
  
“You were going to show me up!” Willow replied with an echoing laugh, “How long have you been planning this?”  
  
  
“It depends,” Tara answered slowly, “I’ve wanted it for a couple of years since I turned 40. But I only had the idea to do it while I was here about two weeks ago.”  
  
  
“You never told me,” Willow replied slowly.  
  
  
Tara smiled bashfully.  
  
  
“I wanted the sketch to be right before I showed you.”  
  
  
“You drew yours? It’s your own design?” Willow asked in awe because it truly was beautiful, “This is going to make nibbling on your butt so much more romantic.”  
  
  
They laughed again together and then Tara’s phone beeped. She quickly checked it.  
  
  
“JJ. Everyone is waking up.”  
  
  
Willow nodded and they went back to the car, sitting tenderly inside.  
  
  
“Where am I dropping this car back to?”  
  
  
“The hotel organized it all,” Tara smiled easily, “We just have to drive back.”  
  
  
Willow sighed contentedly.  
  
  
“We’re definitely coming back here. But maybe in a few years. _Alone_. And in that honeymoon suite upstairs with the hot tub.”  
  
  
Tara moved her hand back to caress the back of Willow’s neck as she drove.  
  
  
“You don’t need to sell me.”  
  
  
The drive back was as silent as it had been out, but with lots of sneaky smiles toward each other. Willow was sad to have to give the keys back to the concierge but she would never forget the thrill.  
  
  
They quickly got bogged back down in dressing children and feeding them but Tara just wanted to spend her birthday, and the last full day of their vacation, enjoying the gorgeous beach and watching the kids have fun.  
  
  
So they went down armed with towels and buckets and plenty of sunscreen and carved out a decent spot to sit in and enjoy.  
  
  
When JJ finished rubbing excess sunscreen on his legs, where the hair took it off nicely, he whipped out his phone.  
  
  
“I need to text Alex.”  
  
  
From beside him, Kayden rose an eyebrow just a tad.  
  
  
“You really texting Alex?”  
  
  
“Yeah, it’s his birthday too,” JJ replied, then looked up with a frown, “Why?”   
  
  
“Just thought you might be texting that girl?” Kayden replied casually, “Didn’t she leave yesterday?”  
  
  
JJ blew some air out between his lips.  
  
  
“Pfft. I text a lot of girls. Don’t even know who you’re talking about.”  
  
  
“Can’t really sit comfortably,” Willow said to Tara, who nodded that she was having the same problem.  
  
  
“Why can’t you sit?” Lily asked inquisitively.  
  
  
JJ looked up in horror.  
  
  
“Oh GOD, don’t tell us!”  
  
  
“Wasn’t going to tell you anyway,” Willow replied with a haughty chin rise.  
  
  
“GOOD,” JJ retorted loudly, “I’m gonna be borrowing those headphones from you A LOT, bro.”  
  
  
Willow threw her eyes upward and smiled at Tara again.  
  
  
After a day of building sandcastles, collecting shells, having a picnic on the beach and just basking in the last of those glorious rays of sunshine, Willow — with a wink to the kids — told Tara to enjoy a few minutes by herself while she ferried the kids upstairs to wash down.  
  
  
Tara decided she would do just that and smiled at the feeling of peace she felt washing over her in this place.  
  
  
And then, despite having spent the whole day with them, she missed her family.  
  
  
She stood up and shook out her towel, then rolled it and tucked it under her arm. She returned to the room and as she put her key in the door, but before she turned the lock, it tugged open and Willow’s face came through the crack.  
  
  
“One minute, okay?”  
  
  
“Oh,” Tara replied, taking a step back in surprise as the door was shoved closed again, “Okay.”   
  
  
She stayed in that spot, smiling politely when some other hotel guests passed by and wishing them a Happy New Year.  
  
  
Finally, a few minutes past ‘one’ minute later, the door opened just a tad, followed by a loud, screechy ‘COME IN’.  
  
  
Tara walked in and the room was in darkness apart from the flickering light of some candles atop a cake being held by Lily, Robyn, and JJ on his knees to be at a similar height. Lily and Kayden were standing opposite them and in the middle, Willow started to clap.  
  
  
Lily jumped onto her piano met and between her and Kayden, a familiar tune started to be played and everyone began to sing.  
  
  
“Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday dear Mommy…Happy Birthday to you!”  
  
  
Tara held her hand against her heart.  
  
  
“Oh, you guys…Lily, Kayden, that was amazing!”  
  
  
“Blow out your candles, Mom,” JJ encouraged, “These knees weren’t made for kneeling.”  
  
  
“Unless it’s to–”  
  
  
“Protest racial injustice,” JJ cut Robyn off and pumped a fist in the air.  
  
  
Tara came over and held her hair back to blow out the candles.  
  
  
There were some whoops and some ‘yays’ and JJ gratefully rose to leave the cake on the table. The lights were flicked back on and then there were lots of eager faces waiting for cake.  
  
  
“Wow, this cake looks amazing,” Tara said as she got her first proper look of it in the light.  
  
  
“Pineapple upside-down cake,” Willow grinned, “Baked locally. Thought you’d like it.”  
  
  
Willow used a knife left over from the picnic to cut up slices and doled them out as evenly as she could.  
  
  
She brought Tara out to the balcony to share the last slice and winced when she sat down too quickly.  
  
  
“Gotta remember that _that’s_ there.”  
  
  
“It will only be tender for a while,” Tara smiled easily, “We’ll have to take care of each other.”  
  
  
“You may not be aware, but I’ve been taking care of your butt for a long time,” Willow laughed softly.  
  
  
Tara smiled and reached over to touch Willow’s cheek.  
  
  
“God, I love you.”  
  
  
Willow silently beamed.  
  
  
“So, um, I have one last thing,” she admitted as she took a little corner of pineapple, “Wow, this _is_ good.”  
  
  
She swallowed it and licked her lips.  
  
  
“That’s not it. It’s a surprise. You had one for me this morning and now I have one for you.”  
  
  
Tara cocked an eyebrow curiously.  
  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
  
“Yep,” Willow replied with an intentful popping of the ‘p’.  
  
  
Tara grinned.  
  
  
“What do I have to do?”  
  
  
“Show up and look pretty,” Willow grinned back, “So, nothing. Just your natural state of being.”  
  
  
Tara laughed and Willow relished in it.  
  
  
“Seriously, um, maybe wear one of the pretty dresses you bought at the market? And that’s it. The boys are going to keep an eye on the girls.”  
  
  
Tara frowned unsurely.  
  
  
“I know what you’re thinking,” Willow held her hands up, “So there’s a backup plan. The hotel has on-site babysitters and I’ve already told them there might be a call _and_ I’ll keep my phone on me at all times so Jake can call if he needs to. He’s watched over the girls before and it’s been fine. Lily hasn’t had a meltdown since that morning.”  
  
  
“Okay,” Tara agreed, “Sure, of course. When does this surprise take place?”  
  
  
Willow checked her watch.  
  
  
“About an hour.”  
  
  
Tara smiled.  
  
  
“Well, then you better go let me put on one of those pretty dresses.”  
  
  
Willow beamed.  
  
  
“Kids! We’re going down to the games room!”  
  
  
Fighting broke out immediately over who would get to play air hockey first. Willow corralled everyone out of the room to give Tara some peace, but not before tossing a few things into the girls’ rooms for her to change into.  
  
  
Tara took her time since changing into one of her market-bought dresses only took a few minutes. The one she picked was red with white flowers and was flow-y at the end but hugged her all the way down.  
  
  
When she was ready, she knocked on the girls’ door and Willow opened it promptly. She wore dark jeans and a floral patterned crop top and her face was freshly spritzed and Tara thought she looked so gorgeous.  
  
  
She closed her arm around Willow and inhaled into her neck.  
  
  
“You smell good.”  
  
  
Willow held Tara out at the waist.  
  
  
“You look amazing. I wanna nibble that butt already.”  
  
  
She smiled and offered her arm, which Tara took.  
  
  
They grabbed their purses and Tara was led outside and down to the beach. She thought maybe her surprise was just a last walk to watch the sunset and she was more than content with that.  
  
  
But then they arrived at a little wharf where a small cruise boat was being loaded with passengers and Willow surprised Tara by walking them toward it.  
  
  
Onboard, they were greeted with a lei while two Polynesian men, shirtless and in black slacks, offered Mai Tais with alluring grins that were lost on both Willow and Tara. The Mai Tais, though, were very gratefully received.  
  
  
They wandered to the front of the boat while their co-passengers hoarded at the back to get as many free drinks as possible. Standing at the bow as the boat set sail, they looked out over the Pacific the red hue the setting sun was casting on it.  
  
  
Willow glanced at the quiet awe on Tara’s face and nudged her shoulder.  
  
  
“I’m getting it good tonight, aren’t I?”  
  
  
Tara smirked and arched one eyebrow.  
  
  
“You forget something, dear wife,” she said in a teasing tone, “Neither of us can be on the bottom.”  
  
  
Willow opened her mouth, closed it, and looked over her shoulder at both of their behinds. She looked back to Tara with a wry smile.  
  
  
“Gonna have to whip out my best sideways moves.”  
  
  
Tara bumped Willow’s hip and she snaked a hand around Willow’s waist. Willow leaned her head down on Tara’s shoulder.  
  
  
“I’m glad this is our last view…”  
  
  
Tara kissed the top of Willow’s head.  
  
  
“Are you upset about leaving tomorrow?”  
  
  
“Not upset…” Willow gauged carefully, “And not so much about leaving…”  
  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
  
“But arriving.”  
  
  
Willow heaved a sigh.  
  
  
“I’m excited to show the kids the store. And you haven’t seen it since we opened, so I’m looking forward to that too.”  
  
  
She kissed the exposed part of Tara’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Besides, leaving is a tomorrow problem.”  
  
  
She looked up at Tara adoringly.  
  
  
“For now…”  
  
  
Her eyes fell back out to sea.  
  
  
“We're in paradise.”


	12. Chapter 12

  
Willow stared blankly ahead as she drove down a generic, gray highway; so far away from the plush green and azure blue that had been either side of the road in Hawaii.  
  
  
And the screaming and screeching going on in the back of yet another rented minivan was a far cry from the peaceful silence of cruising along with Tara in that zippy red Mustang.  
  
  
All she could see was gray, gray, gray with the occasional pop of color as another car passed by.  
  
  
She was so zoned out she didn’t even realize the endless chatter was being directed at her until Tara grabbed the wheel of the car from beside her.  
  
  
“Honey!”  
  
  
“Huh?” Willow shook her head back to attention.  
  
  
Tara pointedly animatedly ahead.  
  
  
“The exit!”  
  
  
Willow saw the sign for their exit barreling toward them with just seconds to react.  
  
  
“Shit!” she yelled as she took the turn with screeching tires for a soundtrack.  
  
  
Everyone bounced around for a minute, then Willow blew out a breath as they evened out again.  
  
  
“I didn’t say that.”  
  
  
Everyone was quiet and Willow hated it so much more than the inane chatter.  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara said quietly.  
  
  
“Yeah, I know, Tara,” Willow shot back, way too harshly.  
  
  
She flipped the radio on in frustration.  
  
  
Finally, the sign was approaching. The one that made her bristle even still when she saw it.  
  
  
‘Welcome To Sunnydale’.  
  
  
‘Enjoy Your Stay’, it mocked her.  
  
  
In truth, she had enjoyed her little breaks to check up on the store in the past. Sure, it wasn’t exactly a city break or cozy getaway but she loved what they’d made of the bookstore and it truly didn’t bother her if she ran into her mother because she could just walk away.  
  
  
She’d mourned that relationship long ago.  
  
  
But having the kids here…it was a whole new level of antsy.  
  
  
She was starting to think this was a really bad idea.  
  
  
The cruel things her mother had said to them on their last meetings still rang in her mind — they didn’t sting anymore, they didn’t feel much of anything but some sadness for the whole situation but they were harsh and dismissive. And she would _not_ let her children hear them or think for one second they weren’t legitimate or a real family or that the twins had some sort of elevation above the rest just for being ‘hers’.  
  
  
This was a really, _really_ bad idea.  
  
  
Just as soon as she thought it, Tara’s hand came to rest over her tight knuckles. Willow glanced over and Tara mouthed ‘everything will be okay’ and just as soon as the words had been not-spoken, Willow was okay again.  
  
  
Okay, still a _little_ bit antsy but not the wound ball about to pop like she had been just seconds before.  
  
  
She exhaled and nodded with a soft smile as some familiar landmarks started to pop up.  
  
  
“Well, kids, here it is. The old hunting ground.”  
  
  
“Y-You went hunting?” Emily called forward unsurely.  
  
  
“No, sweetie, it’s just a phrase,” Willow reassured, “This is where I grew up.”  
  
  
She started to point out the window.  
  
  
“That’s where I got coffee on my way to school and oh, hey, that’s where I actually went to school and…” she paused for a moment, “Well apart from the bookstore that’s just about all of the places I went as a kid.”  
  
  
“When can we see the bookstore?” Lily asked curiously.  
  
  
“After we check into the hotel, honey,” Tara answered and reached across to rub Willow’s shoulder.  
  
  
Lily sat forward as much as the seat belt would allow.  
  
  
“If this is where you grew up, how come we’re not staying in your house?”  
  
  
Willow’s shoulders tensed again but Tara was there to rub it away.  
  
  
“Well, sweetie…” Willow started to reply, not quite able to find the words she had rehearsed so much in her head, “You, um, you guys know that I don’t really um…well, the thing is, me and my mother, well…see, we don’t speak. So we can’t stay there. But it’s okay because the hotel is really…well, it’s stay-able and it has a pool. And you’re in California so you can actually swim in January.”  
  
  
Lily slowly sat back and seemed content with the answer.  
  
  
Emily, however, wasn’t.  
  
  
“Momma?” she called out in a bit of a timid voice, “How come you don’t speak to your Momma?”  
  
  
Willow swallowed.  
  
  
“My mother,” she began, clearing her throat once and finding her words, “Doesn’t talk to me. And she doesn’t talk to me because…she doesn’t like that I married another woman.”  
  
  
“Why does she care?” Lily asked in confusion.  
  
  
“That’s a very good question, panda bear,” Willow smiled sadly, “And the answer is: ‘I don’t know’. But she does. And you know what sucks about that most?”  
  
  
She looked in the rearview mirror at each and every one of them, even the boys who were hard to make out all the way in the back.  
  
  
“It means she doesn’t get to know how amazing all of you kids are. Because you all are the best thing to come out of mom and I getting married.”  
  
  
Tara glanced back to see how that was all sitting and noticed Emily looked troubled.  
  
  
“What’s up, koala? What are you thinking?”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes were in her lap.  
  
  
“I-I didn’t know moms could stop talking to their kids.”  
  
  
Willow looked stricken.  
  
  
“Emily,” she called back softly, “No matter what, me and Mommy will never, ever stop speaking to you. Or stop loving you.”  
  
  
Stopped at a light, she reached back and outstretched her hand.  
  
  
“Pinky promise.”  
  
  
Emily hesitated, then wrapped her pinky around Willow’s and shook.  
  
  
“What about me?” Robyn piped up with a grin.  
  
  
Willow gave her a cautious look.  
  
  
“Just don’t blow up any dams, okay?”  
  
  
“What about if we talk about her?” Lily was back to questioning, “Should we call her ‘Grandma’?”  
  
  
Willow opened her mouth but closed it again to consider it.  
  
  
“I don’t think she deserves that title,” she said, glancing at Tara to confirm her support, “But it’s up to you.”  
  
  
Robyn leaned forward, her eyes alight with mischief.  
  
  
“Can I call her—”  
  
  
“NO,” Willow and Tara answered resolutely together without needing to hear what the option was going to be.  
  
  
Robyn folded her arms over her chest and sat back with a pout.  
  
  
They parked at the hotel and the girls all rushed out excitement to see the pool. Kayden’s eyes seemed to be everywhere, checking out the cool Californian architecture but JJ’s eyes were down and his hands were stuffed in his pockets.  
  
  
“JJ, you’ve been quiet,” Tara asked gently as she slid the door of the minivan closed behind him, “Are you okay?”  
  
  
JJ looked up and made a non-committal motion.  
  
  
“Uh-huh.”  
  
  
Tara patted the back of his shoulder gently. She suspected this had to do with that girl JJ had been spending time with. She didn’t envy being a teenager heartbroken over a vacation fling.  
  
  
“We’re here if you need to talk.”  
  
  
He sighed but it was lost on the wind.  
  
  
Willow gave him and Kayden the key to their room and she had Tara bring the girls up to their family room.  
  
  
There was a brief tussle between Robyn and Lily over who would take the single and who would share one of the two doubles with Emily but Robyn won over seniority or height or possibly threat of tattle. As long as it wasn’t violent, Willow and Tara stayed out of it with those two.  
  
  
Willow threw their case into the small space at the bottom of the closet.  
  
  
She felt Tara’s presence before she felt the strong arms being wrapped around her body from behind.  
  
  
A little kiss was pressed to her ear and then a sweet voice spoke into it.  
  
  
“Do we need to bring the kids at a particular time?”  
  
  
“Um,” Willow replied, closing her eyes to gather her thoughts, “Not really, but I’d like to get them in and out before the evening clientele start to come in. They’re a bit more rambunctious than a small town wine and book bar tends to go for.”  
  
  
Her shoulders relaxed as the scent of Tara’s shampoo wafted through her nose.  
  
  
“Well, it’s only lunchtime,” Tara crooned softly in Willow’s ear, “So why don’t I take the girls off for a swim and some food — in that order, in case you’re worried about cramps — and let the boys do what they want to do for a while. And you can just take a breather.”  
  
  
Willow smiled and leaned back into Tara’s embrace.  
  
  
“You would think they’d had their fill of swimming.”  
  
  
“Pool swimming is entirely different to ocean swimming, Momma,” Robyn said knowledgeably and got resounding nods from the other two.  
  
  
“Will they have pool noodles?” Lily asked excitedly.  
  
  
Willow just smiled.  
  
  
She helped get the kids changed into swimsuits and goggles and kissed Tara on the cheek as she hoarded them all out of there and up to the roof.  
  
  
Willow sat on the end of hers and Tara’s bed and did as her wife advised; took a breather.  
  
  
She placed her hands on her thighs and did some inhales and exhales but that didn’t quite quieten her mind so she hoisted her legs up and crossed them under her instead.  
  
  
There.  
  
  
That felt like a more mindful pose.  
  
  
It worked enough for Willow to realize she couldn’t spend the rest of the day and night here feeling like she was feeling. This was supposed to be a positive experience.  
  
  
And she was over 40 years old for god’s sake, she could deal with this like an adult.  
  
  
She walked over to the desk and picked up the pencil sitting there before tearing a piece of paper from the little notepad.  
  
  
She wrote her words quickly and succinctly.   
  
  
_In town, best we don’t see each other, ignore me if you see me and I’ll do the same. Willow._  
  
  
She nodded.  
  
  
That would do it.  
  
  
She asked for an envelope at reception, stuck her note safely inside, and got into the car. It took a moment to remember what color and model she was looking for with all of the cars they’d cycled through over this vacation but it was the only mini-van in the lot so it stood out pretty distinctly.  
  
  
She put the envelope on the passenger side and drove out quickly before she lost her nerve.  
  
  
Willow rarely drove to this part of town when she came out this way. It was just easier. But there was something nice about driving down the old streets and remembering some of the fun she’d had as a child.  
  
  
The dirt she’d dug up to test the soil with her home chemistry kit and the trees she’d used to calculate the angle of the sun. The pavement where she’d scraped her knee when doing her own little running experiments of relativity.  
  
  
Finally, she pulled up outside the house; her house. Her mother’s house.  
  
  
Her eyes cast a furtive glance toward the envelope and with one long, deep breath, she plucked it from the spot and left the car.  
  
  
Walking with purpose, she strode down the driveway like she was a delivery driver on a busy Saturday night. She popped the letter through the letterbox, nodded once definitively, and turned to leave.  
  
  
Then the door opened.  
  
  
Willow turned back around and looked in surprise.  
  
  
“Oh. Um. Hi.”  
  


* * *

  
When Tara came back to the room with the girls wrapped up in towels and in a state of giddy exhaustion from all of the pool shenanigans — they _did_ have pool noodles and they were primarily used to catch each other by the neck to dunk the other person — Willow all but leaped across the entire length of the room.  
  
  
“She moved!”  
  
  
Tara physically jumped back in surprise but caught herself with her hand against her heart.  
  
  
“Girls, go wash off in the shower. Then I’ll bring you to get burgers and fries.”  
  
  
They all ran off on that promise and Tara dropped the beach bag by the door.  
  
  
“Can you repeat that?”  
  
  
Willow leaned forward on her toes, putting all of her energy into that spot.  
  
  
“Sheila. She moved. She doesn’t live in Sunnydale any longer.”  
  
  
Tara looked surprised.  
  
  
“Oh.”  
  
  
Willow smiled.  
  
  
“Every time I come here, I brace myself,” she said, gesticulating all around her as she laughed, “And she hasn’t even lived here since before we opened the store!”  
  
  
Tara could tell Willow was verging on hysterical and took her hands between them to help ground her.  
  
  
“Where did she go?”  
  
  
Willow felt the squeeze of Tara’s fingers and instantly calmed.  
  
  
“Got a professorship at Stanford. At least that’s where her mail is being forwarded by the lovely new family that lives at her house,” she explained, smiling sadly for a moment, “Living her best life. Good for her because it was a pretty sad one.”  
  
  
Tara looked sympathetic.  
  
  
“Why didn’t your Dad know? He would have told you, surely?”  
  
  
Willow shrugged one shoulder.  
  
  
“I’m guessing she’s hiding extra income to keep getting alimony or…I don’t know,” she sighed, “And honestly, I don’t care. I’ll tell Dad, but I don’t really care what he does about it.”  
  
  
Her shoulders slumped down.  
  
  
“This is a relief. I can come back here without being all avoid-y,” she said with the relief she spoke of evident on her face, “I feel like I’m the one all het up on pool endorphins.”  
  
  
Tara lifted her hands to Willow’s face and cupped each cheek.  
  
  
“I’m so happy for you to have this burden lifted.”  
  
  
She pressed her lips to Willow, who pretty much melted right on the spot.  
  
  
Willow pulled Tara into a hug without breaking the kiss until they naturally parted and Tara closed the hug.  
  
  
When they pulled apart, Willow was smiling easily.  
  
  
“I am now fully ready to engage in family time. Did I hear you say burgers and fries?”  
  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
  
“I saw some fast food place on the way in. Doublemeat—”  
  
  
“Palace, yeah,” Willow finished and grimaced, “No.”  
  
  
One of Tara’s eyebrows rose.  
  
  
“Oh?”  
  
  
Willow shook her head.  
  
  
“Just no.”  
  
  
Willow was normally the one to feed the kids food of questionable nutrition so if she was saying no, it was definitely no.  
  
  
“Any suggestions?” she asked hopefully.  
  
  
The not-so-stellar eating options for downtown Sunnydale flicked through Willow’s mind.  
  
  
“The store serves some food. We could do a little quality control spot check,” she grinned, but it faltered, “That sounded sexier in my head.”  
  
  
“I promised them burgers and fries,” Tara replied, frowning.  
  
  
“We’re the owners, we’ll demand it,” Willow replied surely, then had to laugh at the look on Tara’s face, “Chill out, we have an Angus burger and sweet potato fry dish on the menu. Remember last year I got sent that big box of frozen burgers to approve?”  
  
  
Tara did; specifically eating burgers for three nights in a row and forgetting what burgers were supposed to taste like when asked to grade them. They had been good though, and she was happier to give the kids decent meat and ingredients.  
  
  
She smiled.  
  
  
“I’ll text the boys.”  
  
  
She messaged JJ and Kayden to meet them outside in 15 and then she and Willow had to try and quickly corral the girls into clothing.  
  
  
Willow and Tara exchanged a look of exhaustion but smiled a special smile for each other, one that said: whatever happens, this day will end with us curled up together.  
  
  
When the girls were finally dressed, dragging themselves from hunger, they all went downstairs and met up with the boys.  
  
  
JJ still seemed a bit mopey but Kayden looked so happy one might even mistake him for an extrovert.  
  
  
He asked Willow some stuff about the eclectic building styles but Willow didn’t have much information to give him, though it didn’t stop him from looking so starry-eyed. It was nice to see him so excited about something.  
  
  
The bookstore was just off Maple Court so they walked a couple of blocks around the epicenter of Sunnydale culture to get there.  
  
  
Outside there was a new sign with the new name — Bibliosmia, a word which described the smell and aroma of a good book, found by Tara as they spent weeks trying to find a perfect fit — but in the shop window, there still remained: ‘Ruth Michelson, proprietor, est. 1942’. But now above, it bore Willow and Tara’s names and an ‘s’ had _just_ about been fitted in after ‘proprietor’.  
  
  
“What do you think guys?” Willow asked with some nervous excitement.  
  
  
On the other window, there was a big display that said ‘Read. Sip. Chat.’ and an old, distressed-wood table with a single chair sat there with an open bottle of wine and books in various positions.  
  
  
Willow opened the door and smiled as she inhaled that scent. Even after all that had changed here, that smell was still the same.  
  
  
Tara stepped inside after the kids and had a good look around.  
  
  
It hadn’t actually changed much since the opening, which Tara took with pride as she’d had a heavy hand in helping design the layout.  
  
  
It still very much had a cluttered bookstore feel because that was very important to Willow but once you pushed past the initial rows of bookcases, there was an elevated clearing littered with recycled seating and a half-moon bar. If you walked to the opposite end of the store, there was more seating but it was in the form of beanbags and soft furnishings.  
  
  
Sitting from high above, close to the ceiling, a portrait of Ruth hung to watch over them all.  
  
  
As she always did, Willow smiled sadly as she looked at it.  
  
  
“I wish I’d introduced you kids to Ruth,” she said, putting as much arm as she could around them all, “ _She_ was deserving of ‘Grandma’.”  
  
  
JJ rolled his eyes but nobody saw it.  
  
  
As they were having the moment, a woman came down the three steps from the seating area. She was plump and wore a short black bob and wore a t-shirt that said ‘my other car is a broom’.  
  
  
“Willow,” she greeted warmly, walking over to kiss Willow on each cheek and then moving away to embrace Tara warmly, “Tara. Long time.”  
  
  
“Hello Marla,” Tara replied warmly.  
  
  
“These must be the children!” Marla said with a keen smile for them all, “It’s nice to finally meet you all. I hear about you all the time!”  
  
  
The kids all smiled politely but Lily tugged on Willow’s pants.  
  
  
“Momma, I’m hungry.”  
  
  
“Right,” Willow replied quickly, “Marla, could we get the burger all round here.”   
  
  
“Absolutely,” Marla nodded quickly, “Eat and relax.”  
  
  
She brought them through and Willow was surprised and pleased to see a couple of tables were actually filled despite it being a weekday just after the holidays. One was a lone diner — reading a book from the ‘library’ section where people could borrow one of their more battered books unfit for sale to read while they ate or just curl up in a beanbag with — and the other was a male/female couple in glasses who were enjoying a coffee and sharing one of their huge book-shaped black-and-white cookies.  
  
  
The gang took the big bench seat at the back; normally used to seat a few people family-style, so it just about fit their family.  
  
  
Willow caught Marla giving a little pep talk to a younger man behind the bar and guessed he might be new because she didn’t recognize him from last time.  
  
  
He smoothed out his shirt and approached confidently, perhaps faking it more than was really there.  
  
  
“Hi, I’m Julian. May I take your drinks order today?” he offered with a winning smile, “If you wish I can recommend a wine.”  
  
  
Willow looked to Tara with an arched eyebrow, who shrugged and smiled easily.  
  
  
“Sure,” Willow smiled too, “Go ahead. We’re having the burger.”  
  
  
Julian nodded quickly and stood more importantly.  
  
  
“For a classic ground beef burger, I would suggest a Syrah or you might enjoy a Cabernet Sauvignon. If you enjoy a Malbec, I would recommend a bottle from a cooler vineyard such as Mendoza that will have a higher-than-normal acidity to compliment the dish.”  
  
  
Willow smiled; she couldn’t fault a word of that.  
  
  
“We’ll take two glasses of the Cabernet Sauvignon.”  
  
  
The kids called out various shades of soft drinks and minutes later they were delivered with two very pleasant glasses of wine that perfectly accompanied the burgers that were brought to the table not long after that.  
  
  
Everyone ate hungrily and thankfully it was a decent meal. Willow wanted to make sure she got the name of relish they were using because she wanted to use it at home.  
  
  
Once refueled, Lily was eager to get moving again.  
  
  
“Momma, can I go read a book?”  
  
  
Willow lit up. Lily had never been the biggest bibliophile in the family.  
  
  
“Absolutely, Lil,” she encouraged eagerly and put a finger to her lips, “Just remember in the book section we have to be quiet okay?”  
  
  
Lily bounced off to see how many books she could stack on top of each other.  
  
  
Emily suggested to Kayden that they find a book on art to read together and Robyn was curious when she saw some audiotapes in the library section on the civil rights movement.  
  
  
JJ’s phone beeped and he stood up.  
  
  
“I’m going for a walk.”  
  
  
He pushed off without another look and Willow arched her eyebrow at Tara.  
  
  
“Has he finally discovered teenagedom?”  
  
  
“Perhaps, the pitfalls of it,” Tara said sympathetically, just as Marla came over to check everything was to their liking, “Marla, you are doing a fantastic job. This place is thriving.”  
  
  
Willow slid over on the bench.  
  
  
“Come sit for a minute. I’m the boss, you’re allowed,” she grinned good-naturedly, “Tell me all the latest developments.”  
  
  
Marla took the seat and rested her arms on the table.  
  
  
“Oh, since we last saw you…well, we serve Butterbeer for Harry Potter-themed birthday parties now and we started a trivia night every month, oh and we do story-time every week now with a drag troupe from the city. Oh, _and_ we even just booked our first wedding,” she professed with a grin because that had been her own personal ‘get’, “They’re coming from out of town just for it. A couple of kids, they met here during college when they both came here to use the textbook recycling program.”  
  
  
Willow smiled proudly across the table.  
  
  
“All Tara’s idea.”  
  
  
Tara waved a hand bashfully.  
  
  
“And I’m about to sign the papers on a second wedding,” Marla continued proudly, “Smaller but much higher budget. It’s a second wedding for them both so they want intimate but glamorous.”  
  
  
“Glamorous,” Willow asked with an arched eyebrow, “We’re considered glamorous?”  
  
  
Marla looked quite smug.  
  
  
“We’re quite popular with the Thursday evening high society population of Sunnydale. Cordelia demanded to sample the menu despite being here every week but once that’s done, we’ll be looking to hold the reception in the summer.”  
  
  
Willow stalled.  
  
  
“Cordelia?” she asked, her eyes slowly widening, “As in…Chase?”  
  
  
Marla nodded evenly.  
  
  
“Formally Doyle, soon to be Groosalugg but yes, Cordelia Chase.”  
  
  
“Groosalugg?” Tara asked unsurely, “Is that…Swedish?”  
  
  
Marla offered a pained nod.  
  
  
“Something like that.”  
  
  
Willow’s mouth opened and closed again.  
  
  
“Does she…happen to know who the owners are?”  
  
  
“Oh yes,” Marla nodded with a knowing smile, “She tried to blag a discount by saying you were friends in high school.”  
  
  
Willow laughed, slowly at first, then so hard she actually had to bend over.  
  
  
“You know what? I wish her a happy second marriage,” she said, wiping tears from her eyes and slipping her hand into Tara’s with a wink, “Not everyone is as lucky as me first time around.”  
  
  
From a distance, Julian called for Marla’s attention and she departed with another smile and quick hug for each of them.  
  
  
Both Willow and Tara grinned proudly at each other.  
  
  
“This place is doing amazing,” Tara said softly, “You are amazing.”  
  
  
“It’s all Marla and the gang,” Willow waved her hand, then looked downward, “Sometimes I wonder if Ruth would be rolling in her grave about all the changes I made.”  
  
  
“No, darling,” Tara shook her head surely, “She would be so proud.”  
  
  
Willow still looked unsure, so Tara came around and sat next to her.  
  
  
“Listen to me,” she said, taking both of Willow’s hands in hers, “I. Am. So. Proud. Of. You.”  
  
  
She wanted to punctuate each word with a kiss but did it with a smile instead.  
  
  
Willow smiled. She understood.  
  
  
“Wanna go make an ‘us’ indent in one of those beanbags like I always dreamed about as a kid?”  
  
  
Tara smiled softly.  
  
  
“I’d love nothing more.”  
  
  
Hand-in-hand, they walked across the store with only eyes for each other and sat into one of the beanbags together.  
  
  
They almost immediately stood back up.  
  
  
“Oh my god,” Willow groaned lightly.  
  
  
“Oh, no,” Tara said, holding her hands at the small of her back, “I’m 42 years old. My back is not able for that.”  
  
  
“And those are good beanbags! We spent a fortune on them,” Willow grumbled, then had to smile, “That teaches me not to relive childhood memories.”  
  
  
She cocked an eyebrow at Tara.  
  
  
“Wanna go get another glass of wine?”  
  
  
Tara’s lips sloped seductively on one side.  
  
  
“I could be tempted.”  
  
  
They drudged back up to a more intimate place setting in the café where they had a better view to watch over the girls and ordered two more glasses of wine.  
  
  
“To Ruth?” Tara suggested when they arrived.  
  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
  
“To all the real mothers out there.”  
  
  
She clinked her glass against Tara’s.  
  
  
“And to knowing I have the best one by my side every day of my life.”


	13. Chapter 13

As Willow let herself in from work, she met JJ in the doorway.  
  
  
He walked right on out, barely pushing past her.  
  
  
“Oh, hey—” she started, then looked over her shoulder to call after him, “Hello to you too!”  
  
  
She walked further inside until she was in the doorway looking into the living room, where the girls were doing their homework around the coffee table.  
  
  
She waved and smiled but didn’t linger so she wouldn’t distract. She knew Tara had a hard time getting Lily to sit long enough to do it all most days.  
  
  
She went into the kitchen where Tara was stirring her big pot. She was always stirring in that thing; it was the only one big enough to feed them all, particularly since Kayden had come to live there.  
  
  
“What’s got you working out those guns tonight?” she asked cheerily as she left her purse on a stool and came around the island to pop a kiss on Tara’s lips.  
  
  
She smiled when she felt Tara smile into the kiss and looked down into the pot of deliciousness.  
  
  
“Cheeseburger pasta. JJ’s favorite,” she noted with a pointed eyebrow as she broke away to get a glass to fill with ice and water, “He has been in a stinker for weeks. What gives?”  
  
  
“I’ve tried talking to him,” Tara sighed, “He’s blocking me out. I was thinking of taking him for a drive and a chat.”  
  
  
Willow leaned her elbows on the island.  
  
  
“On the plus side, if he’s not talking to us, he can’t ask for money.”  
  
  
“Willow…” Tara chastised softly.  
  
  
“Tara…” Willow returned in a playful mocking tone.  
  
  
Tara’s lips quirked up on one side and she leaned over enough to meet Willow for a kiss.  
  
  
“What can I do?” Willow asked as they parted and was passed a salad spinner.  
  
  
A little while later, they, Kayden, and the girls were sitting around the dining table watching their food go cold.  
  
  
“We should eat,” Willow said softly when another unanswered call went to voicemail, “He probably just lost track of time.”  
  
  
Tara looked around at the sea of hungry faces and just nodded quietly.  
  
  
She didn’t each much.  
  
  
It was hours later, with everyone else in bed, when they finally heard the key in the door. Both Willow and Tara ran out from the living room, where they had been pacing.  
  
  
“JJ!” Willow exclaimed, throwing her hands up, “Where have you been?”  
  
  
JJ shrugged his backpack off his shoulder and rolled his eyes.  
  
  
“It’s not past curfew.”  
  
  
“Weekend curfew! And less of that attitude, mister,” Willow replied with a stern frown, “You didn’t come home for dinner.”  
  
  
“You know that’s all we ask,” Tara said in a soft, concerned tone, “Or at least let us know if you won’t be here.”  
  
  
“Our pasta went cold,” Willow added indignantly, “Your mom made is especially!”  
  
  
“And we were worried,” Tara pressed, folding her arms across her chest.  
  
  
JJ didn’t meet either of their gazes.  
  
  
“I was shooting hoops.”  
  
  
“You do that every day. You couldn’t take a break to at least let us know you’d be late?” Willow asked, having to work at keeping her tone down so as not to wake the rest of the house, “It’s the second time this week you’ve come home late without telling us.”  
  
  
JJ physically pushed past them both.  
  
  
“I don’t need this.”  
  
  
“Hey!” Willow said sharply, spinning around to look at his retreating back, “We’re talking to you.”  
  
  
JJ reached the top of the stairs and turned away toward the steps up to his bedroom.  
  
  
“Well, I’m not talking to you.”  
  
  
Willow's closed fist flew up and Tara had to put a hand on her wife’s shoulder to stop her from running after him.  
  
  
“Tara!”  
  
  
“I know,” Tara replied, soft but steady, “But whatever is going on isn’t going to be resolved by us stamping up behind him.”  
  
  
Willow slowly deflated and Tara moved to rub both of her shoulders.  
  
  
“Let him sleep. We’ll deal with him in the morning. Things always look better in the morning.”  
  


* * *

  
Things did not look better in the morning.  
  
  
By the time breakfasts were eaten and lunches were made and a last-minute kerfuffle surrounding a missing permission slip and a near-meltdown from Lily, neither Willow nor Tara realized JJ had already left for school until it became obvious Kayden needed a ride.  
  
  
“I cannot _believe_ he went off without you,” Willow muttered as she unlocked her car for Kayden to sit in, “Do you know what the hell is up with him?”  
  
  
Kayden stayed silent. He didn’t, honestly, but he did know JJ spent a lot of time on the phone lately and to one particular sandy-haired person. He didn’t want to rock the boat, though. JJ had always treated him like a brother, even if he had been more distant lately.  
  
  
He just shrugged.  
  
  
Willow’s mouth became thinner.  
  
  
She dropped Kayden off at the high school and continued on to work, still muttering under her breath.  
  
  
At the office, she had a tidy little pile of cases to distract her and allow her mind a break from the anger to focus on some hotshot who got too cocky defrauding the market.  
  
  
Just before lunch, she heard a knock on the door and pressed the door release button so whoever it was could come inside.  
  
  
She turned in her seat just as Jesse stuck his head in.  
  
  
“Uh, Will? We have a…situation.”  
  
  
A few minutes later, while Willow was sitting in shock, her phone rang. She answered it on autopilot and immediately heard Tara’s panicked voice.  
  
  
“I just got a call from the school.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes closed.  
  
  
“Let me guess. JJ cut.”  
  
  
There was a pause on the other end.  
  
  
“Willow, what’s going on?”  
  
  
Willow dropped her head into her hand.  
  
  
“We need to meet up. Now.”  
  
  
Tara’s silence held enough fear for them both.  
  
  
“I’m coming over there,” Willow said, already grabbing her purse, “Can you meet me in the lobby?”  
  
  
Tara answered with a shaken affirmative and Willow had hung up by the time she reached the elevator.  
  
  
She drove over to Tara’s office building because she was going to have to drive afterward anyway and nabbed a rare parking spot right outside.  
  
  
At least something was going right for her today.  
  
  
Tara was anxiously pacing in the lobby when Willow got there.  
  
  
“Willow,” she said through a sharp breath, barreling toward her wife, “What the hell is going on?”  
  
  
Willow took Tara’s elbow and brought her off to the side where it was somewhat more private.  
  
  
“Okay. We got a call to the office that someone was attempting to visit your father in prison. Jesse knows a guy over there and he keeps tabs on him for us.”  
  
  
Tara’s brow furrowed.  
  
  
“Honestly, Willow, I don’t care if he’s found some groupie, I’m more concerned about J—” she started but then her forehead started to even out in terror, “No. No, no, no, no, no.”  
  
  
“They’re not letting him in,” Willow said firmly, keeping Tara’s gaze in a strong lock, “Or out, for that matter, until I get up there to kick his ass home.”  
  
  
Tara’s cheeks were red and her eyes flashed between anger and fear.  
  
  
“I’m coming too.”  
  
  
Willow squeezed Tara’s upper arm.  
  
  
“You don’t have to. Jesse already offered to come with me to drive JJ’s car home.”  
  
  
“I’m coming,” Tara repeated firmly.  
  
  
Willow sighed silently. She’d anticipated that, but she didn’t like it.  
  
  
“Okay,” she nodded quickly, “I’ll organize cover for the kids. Meet me at home in twenty.”  
  
  
“Fifteen,” Tara replied sternly and began to walk away to the back of the building to access the parking lot.  
  
  
Willow massaged her own neck as she walked back to her car.  
  
  
Tara was already home when she got there, meaning she _definitely_ broke the speed limit, making fruit skewers and ants on a log for the kids when they got in from school.  
  
  
She looked as normal as any other day Willow came in from work to see her wife in the kitchen, except she could visibly see the shake in Tara’s hands, even from across the room.  
  
  
Willow wasn’t too keen on how she was wielding that knife.  
  
  
She came over and gently put her hand over Tara’s hand, easing it down.  
  
  
“I’ll finish this. You go to the bathroom. We have a bit of a drive ahead of us.”  
  
  
Tara just nodded.  
  
  
“Who’s going to be here for the girls?”  
  
  
“Dad,” Willow said reassuringly, “He’s going to pick Kayden up too. His afternoons are always free these days, as long as his golf game doesn’t go on too long.”  
  
  
The levity didn’t seem to help Tara, who walked off in a daze.  
  
  
Willow could kill her son for bringing all of this up again for them.  
  
  
How had he even found out?  
  
  
This and many more questions plagued her during the uncomfortably silent two-hour drive to the penitentiary.  
  
  
Tara didn’t speak, not once, not even when Willow addressed her directly. She just stared out the window with a look Willow couldn’t identify on her face.  
  
  
Which was scary for Willow, because she thought she knew all of Tara’s faces.  
  
  
Approaching the penitentiary made them both tense. The security gates, the barbed wire, the knowledge that Tara’s father was skulking around far closer than could ever be comfortable.  
  
  
The security guard at the entrance kindly directed them to the right building and Willow pressed the buzzer to be allowed in. Directly inside the door was a long hallway, behind a locked door, and an entrance area with small plastic seats and a desk hiding behind perspex glass.  
  
  
Slumped on one of the seats, JJ sat with a scowl on his face.  
  
  
“Jacob,” Tara said with relief and bounded over there to hug him, whether he liked it or not.  
  
  
Willow stayed back a few feet, unsure if she could offer such a warm embrace. She looked to the officer sitting behind the desk.  
  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
  
“Can I see some ID ma’am before I release him?” the officer asked with an important nod of her head.  
  
  
Willow fetched her driver’s license and FBI ID and slid them under the little slot for the officer to examine. She did and handed it back accordingly.  
  
  
“Free to go, ma’am. But just so you know, we don’t allow visitors to just walk in off the street, or unaccompanied minors to visit without a guardian.”  
  
  
Willow’s lips grew thin again. She didn’t need to be told that.  
  
  
“Has the prisoner been informed that there was a visitor for him?”  
  
  
“No, ma’am,” the officer shook her head, “The prisoner has a notation on his file. All visitor requests go out externally for approval. And, uh, it’s not visitor day.”  
  
  
Willow just nodded again.  
  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
  
She went over to her wife and son.  
  
  
“Come on,” she said insistently.  
  
  
She wanted them all out of this place, now.  
  
  
She grabbed JJ’s arm and dragged him outside.  
  
  
“I don’t know what imbecile thoughts were going through your mind but you are in such big trouble, mister!”  
  
  
JJ hoisted his arm away aggressively.  
  
  
“He’s my grandfather! That I didn’t even know about!” he shot back angrily, “Cleo said if I felt I needed to know, then I should go! So I did!”  
  
  
Willow looked bewildered.  
  
  
“Who the hell is Cleo?!”  
  
  
“The girl from Hawaii,” Tara spoke quietly as she caught up behind them.  
  
  
JJ gave Tara a strange look.  
  
  
“How do you know?”  
  
  
“I spoke to her parents when I saw you both spending time together at Christmas,” Tara answered, crossing her arms over her chest as she muttered quietly, “…one of them is very nice.”  
  
  
“You knew about this?!” Willow asked in disbelief, then pivoted her anger back to JJ, “You’re letting some girl from Hawaii make reckless decisions for you?!”  
  
  
“She lives in New York City,” JJ replied petulantly.  
  
  
Willow threw her hands up.  
  
  
“I don’t care if she lives in Timbuktu!”  
  
  
Tara physically got between them both.  
  
  
“Stop it,” she said, somehow managing to shriek in a tone so quiet her voice barely carried farther than a few inches around them, “Both of you. Right now.”  
  
  
Both of them did. Tara heaved out two short breaths and looked at Willow.  
  
  
“Drive your car home.”  
  
  
Willow gave a short nod and withering look in JJ’s direction.  
  
  
“Come on, Jacob.”  
  
  
“No,” Tara said, putting a hand on JJ’s chest to keep him where he was, “You’re coming with me.”  
  
  
“Tara—” Willow started to object but Tara held her hand up.  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara said pointedly, “We’re sticking to the plan. I’m taking him for a drive.”  
  
  
Tara’s Resolve Face was the only one fit to beat Willow’s, so — reluctantly and keeping eyes on Tara and JJ the whole way across the parking lot — Willow got back into her car and waited.  
  
  
Tara directed JJ over to his car and held out her hand for the keys. JJ dropped them in her palm with a scowl and grudgingly got in on the passenger side.  
  
  
Tara sat in on the driver’s side, adjusted the seat and belted herself in. She looked to JJ to do the same, who did it with all of the angst befitting of his age and all of the petulance of someone younger than any of his sisters.  
  
  
Tara silently started the car and drove out of there with a courteous wave for the security guard.  
  
  
It took exactly 27.3 miles of staring out at country roads for Tara to feel her fingers loosen enough on the wheel that she thought she could speak without anger.  
  
  
“Cleo was right,” she said, clear and direct though she didn’t take her eye off the road.  
  
  
JJ glanced away from his angry staring out the window for the first time.  
  
  
“Cleo was right,” Tara repeated in a heavily disappointed tone, “But only half so. If you felt you needed to know about my parentage, _you should have come to me_. Not…whatever research you did to lead you here. Not cut school and come here, to this place! Not shut me and your mother out every time we’ve come to you to try and work out what was going on with you!”  
  
  
Her nostrils flared as she clutched the wheel tight again, blinking rapidly to overcome the sudden rush of emotion through her.  
  
  
JJ looked at her with trepidation, not used to seeing her lose her cool for anything. He turned his body toward her but his arms stayed loosely crossed on his chest.  
  
  
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”  
  
  
Tara held a hand up helplessly.  
  
  
“How do you tell a little boy that his grandfather is in prison? A man he’s never known, never will know?”  
  
  
JJ’s foot kicked angrily.  
  
  
“I’m not a little boy anymore.”  
  
  
“You’re still my little boy,” Tara countered and looked over at JJ with such unwavering love that it made him glance away guiltily.  
  
  
JJ tried to lower himself in the seat but his long legs only allowed him so much scooting. His eyes moved about fitfully as his own thoughts bounced back and forth until he suddenly straightened back up sharply.  
  
  
“I know that he shot a cop,” he explained, throwing a hand out demonstrably, “But it could have been a dirty cop, maw! There were no trial details! Maybe he was being framed, maybe—”  
  
  
“He shot your mother,” Tara cut him off plainly.  
  
  
JJ’s mouth clamped shut.  
  
  
Tara continued to stare straight ahead.  
  
  
“He raised his gun,” she said calmly, “At me.”  
  
  
She swallowed deeply.  
  
  
“He pulled the trigger,” she continued, “At me.”  
  
  
Her heart was so loud it was in her ears.  
  
  
“And then your Momma jumped in front of it.”  
  
  
Her knuckles were white now.  
  
  
“And it missed her heart by millimeters.”  
  
  
Her cheeks flushed with all of the blood rushing to her head.  
  
  
“So maybe now you know why we didn’t make this a bedtime story.”  
  
  
Her eyes pricked with tears.  
  
  
“Because it was the worst thing to ever happen to me.”  
  
  
The quiver in his mother’s voice was the harshest punishment JJ could ever receive.  
  
  
“Mom,” he said helplessly.  
  
  
Tara swallowed repeatedly and blinked heavily several times.  
  
  
“You don’t remember, but Nana Rose wasn’t always in our lives. I only found her again when I was pregnant with the twins,” she said to JJ, whose eyebrows lifted in surprise, “And the love story — the version you know, the only relationship of my upbringing that actually contained love — was Rose and my mother. And it was a lot nicer for you to believe than to know of that awful man who only ever took from me and my family.”  
  
  
JJ looked down but was still bristly.  
  
  
“You told Kayden.”  
  
  
“I did not,” Tara replied quickly, surely.  
  
  
“You told him you had a father,” JJ countered petulantly.  
  
  
Tara closed her eyes for the briefest of moments before focusing back on the road.  
  
  
“We went through a similar experience with a father figure in our life that should have been loving and wasn’t. You can’t understand—” she stopped when JJ turned his body away from her, “And you never will if you’re not willing to listen.”  
  
  
“I’m LISTENING,” JJ blew up, throwing up his hands.  
  
  
“Then listen to this,” Tara replied curtly, “The man you were so desperate to see today is not your grandfather because he is not my father. And the moment you decided to go behind our backs to seek him out you lost any moral high-ground you think you had.”  
  
  
JJ’s jaw tensed as he looked down.  
  
  
“And _do not_ shout at me,” Tara added firmly, holding a finger up, “I put up with enough of that growing up with him.”  
  
  
JJ slowly deflated, like a balloon left to die after being forgotten at a party.  
  
  
“What did he do to you?”  
  
  
Tara swallowed.  
  
  
“It would be impossible to condense years into one conversation,” she said, her eyes flashing with memories she’d long since buried, “But he scarred me. Physically and emotionally. He struck me and taunted me and starved me and—”  
  
  
“STOP,” JJ cut in, physically clutching his stomach as his own eyes filled with tears he wouldn’t allow release due to stubbornness, “I get it, okay?”  
  
  
“Do you?” Tara asked, looking at him directly when they stopped at a light, “Do you understand the kind of man that you were so determined to meet that you didn’t for one second consider why we kept him a secret in the first place?”  
  
  
JJ’s arms crossed over his chest again but he looked contrite.  
  
  
Tara let another few miles of rolling fields pass by before speaking again.  
  
  
“Where did you go on Monday?” she asked and caught JJ glancing at her guiltily for a brief second, “When the school called to tell me you weren’t in class, they asked if you had the same illness you had on Monday and if it was contagious.”  
  
  
JJ tensed.  
  
  
“I can take a wild guess given how late you came home that night,” Tara began to answer her own question, “You went to New York City.”  
  
  
She looked at JJ to confirm what she was saying.  
  
  
“To see Cleo.”  
  
  
JJ had paled considerably now.  
  
  
“…we met halfway.”  
  
  
Tara just nodded.  
  
  
Not another word was spoken until they pulled into the driveway. JJ unbelted to bolt because the silence had been absolute torture but Tara caught his leg.  
  
  
“Wait up. You’re grounded for a month.”  
  
  
JJ’s head flew around, his eyes bugged.  
  
  
“A MONTH!?”  
  
  
He’d never actually been grounded for any more than a weekend and even then he’d gotten early release when he finished cleaning out the basement for them.  
  
  
“You cut school twice,” Tara nodded seriously, “You drove halfway across the state without telling us and you tried to visit a prison behind our backs, so yes, you are grounded for a month. I will drop you to school and pick you up every day, you can go to basketball practice and games but any other hoop time is in the driveway. No TV, no games console, no phone.”  
  
  
JJ shook his head and tried to leave the car again.  
  
  
“One more thing.”  
  
  
“I’m not allowed to pet Woofy either?” JJ asked sarcastically.  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Don’t make me take back what I’m about to say by giving me attitude.”  
  
  
JJ frowned unsurely.  
  
  
“You may have limited contact with Cleo,” Tara said, holding up a hand when JJ’s eyes widened, “When, and only when, we meet her.”  
  
  
JJ’s brow slowly furrowed.  
  
  
“How are you supposed to meet her?”  
  
  
“I’ll be speaking to her parents,” Tara answered with a nod and glanced away for a moment, “The nice one hopefully.”  
  
  
JJ squirmed uncomfortably. Tara was unrelenting.  
  
  
“She is clearly an influence in your life and I would like to get to know anybody whom you hold such a high opinion of.”  
  
  
JJ scowled again.  
  
  
“She’s not going to come here just to get yelled at.”  
  
  
“When have you ever known me to yell?” Tara asked with that eyebrow arched again, “I also know better than to try and keep you apart. You are responsible for your own behavior and that’s why you’re being held accountable. So you can shape up and show some maturity by introducing your girlfriend to us or you can continue to pout like a child and be treated as such.”  
  
  
JJ’s cheeks flushed.  
  
  
“Fine. Can I go now?”  
  
  
Tara held out her hand. JJ’s scowl only deepened as he all but threw his phone at her and hurtled out of the car.  
  
  
“Don’t you dare slam that door,” Tara called out and JJ thankfully did have the sense to know better.  
  
  
Tara exited the car on her side and exhaled a long breath. She felt arms come over her waist from behind and leaned back into them.  
  
  
“Oh, Willow.”  
  
  
“Are you okay?” Willow asked and Tara could only silently nod.  
  
  
They didn’t get much of a chance to take a breather as the twins ran out into the driveway to pull them inside and show them their latest creations and babble about their school day. Both Willow and Tara did their best to act like nothing was wrong and thankfully dinner was leftovers so there was little to prepare.  
  
  
It felt like a long, long evening as they prepped everyone for bed and the following day until the couple finally met again in their bedroom.  
  
  
“I—” they both started at the same time and smiled, despite everything.  
  
  
Willow’s smile, however, was pained.  
  
  
“I have more bad news.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes sunk.  
  
  
“What?”  
  
  
Willow nibbled on her thumb nervously.  
  
  
“I mentioned to Xander on the phone that we’re going down to the cabin in a few weeks.”  
  
  
“And?” Tara prompted.  
  
  
“He kind of took it as an invitation,” Willow blurted out at once, “Booked a cabin too.”  
  
  
Tara groaned.  
  
  
“Didn’t you mention it was for our anniversary?”  
  
  
“Yep,” Willow nodded quickly.  
  
  
“But you were going to ask if the girls could have a sleepover,” Tara said helplessly.  
  
  
“Now they don’t have to,” Willow replied with fake chipper, “Because we’ll all be at the cabin together.”  
  
  
Tara was too tired for this.  
  
  
“Fine,” she threw her hands up, “Fine. The kids love it up there anyway, we might as well bring them. You better book the family cabin instead of our delightful little love nest.”  
  
  
Willow put her hands on Tara’s upper arms and rubbed up and down.  
  
  
“You need a hug,” she said softly.  
  
  
Tara gently pulled Willow in by the waist.  
  
  
“I need this.”  
  
  
She landed her mouth on Willow’s and kissed her deeply. Willow willingly gave everything back and stumbled gently into Tara’s arms.  
  
  
“Wait, what was your thing?” she asked as they parted.  
  
  
Tara sighed.  
  
  
“Oh.”  
  
  
She swallowed and composed herself.  
  
  
“I spoke to the Pierez’s,” she said with a definitive nod, “They weren’t too happy to hear from a stranger that their daughter cut school this week and got a train hours away to meet a boy they barely remember from vacation. I think I learned a lot of new swear words in Spanish.”  
  
  
Willow arched an eyebrow and Tara just shrugged.  
  
  
“ _But_ I did convince them we’re better off making friends than enemies of the kids. It sounds like they were together when they were JJ and Cleo’s age so they probably have a unique perspective. Anyway, they agreed they’d rather they be together in the open than hiding together in the bushes.”  
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
“What does that mean?”  
  
  
Tara looked back at Willow with another sigh.  
  
  
“It means we’re going to New York City.”  
  


* * *

  
“This still feels like we’re rewarding him.”  
  
  
Tara flung the excess water from her hands after washing them and went over to the paper towel dispenser.  
  
  
“Willow, don’t you want to properly meet the family of the girl our boy is dating? I do,” she said as she waved her hands about to find the sensor, “I only chatted with her mothers very briefly in Hawaii and that was just to make sure they were aware of things so they wouldn’t miss any shenanigans.”  
  
  
Willow frowned contemplatively.  
  
  
“What were they like?”  
  
  
Tara breathed softly.  
  
  
“One called me a troll and told me to get out of her sun because she was getting her tan on,” she answered honestly, “The other one said she hopped Cleo didn’t pop a hip.”  
  
  
“Doing what?” Willow asked in confusion, then her eyes widened in horror when she saw Tara cringe, “DOING MY SON?!”  
  
  
She threw her arms in front of her petulantly.  
  
  
“I hate them already.”  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara chided softly, “We have to be nice.”  
  
  
Willow shook her head.  
  
  
“He better not think he’s going up the Empire State building or seeing a Broadway show.”  
  
  
“One of Cleo’s mothers acts on Broadway,” Tara answered, then added bashfully, “I, um, Googled her.”  
  
  
Willow arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Find anything juicy?”  
  
  
Tara smiled cordially.  
  
  
“It seems they’ve led an eventful life.”  
  
  
Willow frowned skeptically.  
  
  
They exited the airport bathroom and gestured for JJ to come back from the bench he was sitting on opposite the bathroom.  
  
  
They’d all come through JFK quite a few times on the way to vacations but actually leaving it was a first for them all.  
  
  
Willow and Tara had always talked about a visit when they lived in Boston but life went on and finances got in the way and they never had. Buffalo, and Rochester when growing up for Tara, had always been quite a bit enough away to dissuade any casual road trips.  
  
  
JJ sat in the front seat of the cab as they drove into the city and craned his neck about to take in all of the large buildings and flashing lights.  
  
  
There were occasional glances out the windows from the back seat but Willow was busy on her phone and Tara was retouching her appearance with a little hand mirror.  
  
  
No one was paying attention to the taxi driver, but that didn’t stop him going on a long rant about salami vs pepperoni on pizza.  
  
  
“I’m just saying,” he threw his hand out the window and gave the finger to someone as they beeped at him, “One’s for a hoagie, one’s for—”  
  
  
“STOP!” JJ suddenly exclaimed and the cab screeched to a stop, thankfully with no cars behind it.  
  
  
“No way, bucko,” Willow said sternly from the back, “We go there, we go back. No stop-offs. This isn’t a vacation.”  
  
  
JJ looked into the back pleadingly.  
  
  
“I-I just want to get some flowers for her moms.”  
  
  
Both Willow and Tara glanced out of the window where a flower shop was displaying its wares brightly on the street.  
  
  
Willow glanced at Tara who gave her a sincere nod.  
  
  
“Fine,” Willow sighed.  
  
  
JJ jumped out before permission was taken away again. He spent a few minutes talking with the vendor before returning to the cab, fighting with a bunch of lilies to fit in the seat with them.  
  
  
The cab driver looked at him skeptically and pulled away from the curb again.  
  
  
“Like I was saying, it’s all about the surface area of the meat relative to the bread…”  
  
  
He droned on some more until he pulled to a stop again.  
  
  
“And don’t get me started on chorizo—”  
  
  
“Thanks!” Willow cut him off and shoved some bills at him as she followed Tara out of the car.  
  
  
The driver noted his tip and smiled.  
  
  
“Hey, no problem lady!”  
  
  
On the street, JJ looked all around the quiet street, so different from the bustle in the heart of the city they’d just driven through. The street was all redbrick residential buildings with vibrant green trees and picturesque street lamps.  
  
  
Right outside of the building they’d been dropped at, a doorman stood and gallantly swung the door open for them to walk inside.  
  
  
JJ went in first with Willow and Tara at his heels.  
  
  
The lobby was grand and elegant, all sleek with marble finished surfaces. A concierge sat behind a big round desk and waited patiently for them to approach. JJ did and couldn’t help but smile a little excitedly.  
  
  
“Uh, the Pierez’s. 402?”  
  
  
“Name?” the concierge asked.  
  
  
“JJ—Jacob,” JJ corrected himself a bit gruffly, “Jacob Rosenberg-Maclay.”  
  
  
The concierge made a discreet phone call, then nodded.  
  
  
“You can go on up, sir,” he said cordially and nodded as Willow and Tara came up behind him, “Ma’ams.”  
  
  
They stepped into the elevator and JJ checked his appearance in the mirrors on all three walls.  
  
  
“Snazzy,” Willow commented on the gold plating.  
  
  
“It’s a very nice building,” Tara added with a gentle smile.  
  
  
They stepped off on the top floor and JJ’s eyes were quick to follow the numbers on the door to the right one. He knocked quickly and took a step back, fixing the skinny tie he’d spent the whole flight adjusting.  
  
  
When the door opened, his eyes became heart-shaped.  
  
  
“H-Hi.”  
  
  
“Hi,” Cleo smiled softly.  
  
  
Tara raised her hand in greeting to the other two women, a tall blonde woman and shorter Latina woman.  
  
  
“Hello again. Thank you so much for having us.”  
  
  
“Anyone who likes sweet lady kisses is welcome in our home,” the blonde woman said sweetly, “I'm Brittany and this is my wife Santana. You already know Cleo, it seems.”  
  
  
JJ managed to pull his attention away long enough to thrust the flowers at the women.  
  
  
“Cleo said you like lilies.”  
  
  
Brittany accepted them gratefully.  
  
  
“Because they’re the lesbians of flowers.”  
  
  
“Maybe that’s why we named our daughter after one,” Willow quipped a bit apprehensively, “Hi I’m Willow.”  
  
  
Brittany glanced at her wife knowingly.  
  
  
“The lesbians of trees.”  
  
  
Willow frowned unsurely.  
  
  
There was some form of introductions from Willow and Tara but JJ couldn’t recount a single word of it. His eyes just hopelessly followed Cleo until she managed to drag him over to the couch for a little privacy.  
  
  
JJ glanced over his shoulder unsurely at the congregation of moms.  
  
  
“Are you also terrified about what they’re talking about?”  
  
  
“Nah,” Cleo brushed off easily, “My Mom says the only thing I did wrong was not telling them I was cutting school because they didn't know where I was. She says she would have driven me to meet you.”  
  
  
“Really?” JJ asked, his mouth opening slightly in disbelief, “I wish my parents were that cool.”  
  
  
Cleo smiled smugly.  
  
  
“Well, your mom’s father is in prison. That’s pretty cool.”  
  
  
JJ’s face suddenly fell.  
  
  
“No, it isn’t.”  
  
  
Cleo’s body writhed unsurely.  
  
  
“It’s not like he even killed that cop.”  
  
  
JJ looked down. Cleo put a hand on his knee and he looked up again.  
  
  
“It wasn’t a cop.”  
  
  
Cleo frowned.  
  
  
“What?” she asked with her eyes narrowing in confusion, “The article I found for you said it was an FBI agent.”  
  
  
“FBI analyst,” JJ corrected with his body slumping forward, “As in my Momma.”  
  
  
“WHAT!?” Cleo exclaimed loudly, only narrowing missing gathering attention onto them, “Why didn’t you tell me that?”  
  
  
“My phone use is supervised!” JJ hissed quietly.  
  
  
Cleo’s face set like stone.  
  
  
“I feel like going what my Mami likes to call ‘all Lima Heights Adjacent’ right now.”  
  
  
JJ’s eyes lit up with delight, and perhaps something more.  
  
  
“Really?”  
  
  
“That’s my man’s Momma!” Cleo puffed her chest out.  
  
  
JJ grin turned dopey.  
  
  
“I’m your man?”  
  
  
Cleo put her hand on JJ’s cheek and his eyes closed softly.  
  
  
When they were closed, he could pick out Tara’s voice; warm and gentle and kind. She knew it was her who had convinced Willow to do this.  
  
  
“There’s more,” he said, his green eyes opening with a shimmer, “He was abusive to my Mom growing up. Like, bad.”  
  
  
Cleo looked troubled and JJ’s heart sank.  
  
  
“I don’t think…that he did… _that_ …but…she cried, Cleo. I-I made her cry. I don’t ever want to do that again.”  
  
  
Cleo put her arm around JJ’s back and pulled herself into him. They hugged for several peaceful moments until a voice called over to them.  
  
  
“Cleo, baby,” one of Cleo’s mothers — the nice one, Brittany — said, all childlike and enthusiastic, “Come have lunch with us. We want to meet the boy who makes you feel like chocolate pudding doing a handstand.”  
  
  
“MOM!” Cleo protested loudly, her pale cheeks flushing red as her head swung around to glare at her mother.  
  
  
She let her fingers twine with JJ’s and gave him a gentle tug to join her in walking across the apartment to the dining table where the food ordered from a local deli had been laid out for everyone.  
  
  
The pastrami looked great, but so did everything in this place. It had very modern decor, all glass, and sleek lines, but there was a lot of warmth in the artwork and furniture. JJ felt intimidated and welcome all at once.  
  
  
He said ‘thank you’ when the potato salad was handed to him and gave nervous but perfectly polite answers to the questions he was asked. Cleo's darker-toned mother, in both looks and spirit, Santana, didn’t look like she was convinced JJ was good enough for Cleo, but JJ wasn’t sure he was either, so told her they had some common ground. That one even produced a smile. Or a smirk, at the very least.  
  
  
After everyone had eaten, Cleo was able to snag JJ away again under the guise of washing the dishes together. They had a dishwasher, of course, but it was a lot more fun to get their hands dirty.  
  
  
“You did great,” Cleo bumped her hip on JJ’s, making him blush, “Do you think your parents will ever get over what happened and like me? Your Momma's got a killer death stare.”  
  
  
“I don’t know,” JJ answered honestly, “But Mom wanted to have this get-together, so maybe?”  
  
  
Cleo nodded silently.  
  
  
“Uh, babe?” JJ asked as he handed off a plate, “Could you tell me where the bathroom is?”  
  
  
Cleo nodded toward the hallway.  
  
  
“The closest one is right down the hall.”  
  
  
JJ smiled gratefully and hurried out.  
  
  
Cleo cleaned the same plate over and over again just so she wouldn’t finish and they’d be able to continue. She smiled stupidly at her own thoughts; she wasn’t sure she’d ever actually washed a dish at all before today. They had a dishwasher. She looked down at the plate, wondering if she was even doing it right.  
  
  
“Need a hand?”  
  
  
Cleo nearly dropped the plate at the unexpected voice but managed to compose herself as she turned around to face Tara.  
  
  
“Oh,” she gulped nervously, “JJ just went to the bathroom.”  
  
  
Tara smiled kindly.  
  
  
“He’s probably checking his hair. He might be a while.”  
  
  
She stepped up and picked up the dishcloth JJ had left there, beginning to dry a knife.  
  
  
Cleo had a wild thought that she was trying to be intimidating, but Tara’s demeanor was so gentle she shook her head of it. Plus, Tara moved onto a spoon pretty quickly.  
  
  
She stayed tense and silent until Tara spoke.  
  
  
“Thank you for having us in your home.”  
  
  
Cleo’s mouth opened and closed.  
  
  
“Oh, it’s…I mean…um…”  
  
  
“You and JJ are so young,” Tara smiled fondly, ignoring Cleo’s stuttering, “I know at that age…even though I didn’t have her…I still could have used my mom.”  
  
  
She moved onto a cup, giving her more surface area to cover.  
  
  
“I bet you still need your moms sometimes too.”  
  
  
“Not for everything,” Cleo defended, “Some things…some things are not for moms.”  
  
  
Tara nodded easily.  
  
  
“You’re JJ’s confidante. I wouldn’t ask you to go against that,” she said sincerely, “But sometimes there are things you, or even he, aren’t privy to.”  
  
  
Cleo’s face grew ashen.  
  
  
“I wouldn’t have…” she glanced at Tara with a pained face, “If I’d known…”  
  
  
Tara’s eyelids flickered with emotion at her past having obviously been shared.  
  
  
“That’s my point,” she said definitively, “We’re not the worst parents in the world. Maybe encourage him to come to us if he’s having an issue involving us. He always has in the past. And I have no interest in competing. I just want what’s best for my son.”  
  
  
Cleo scowled but had the good grace to direct it to the floor.  
  
  
“And you don’t think that’s me.”  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“I don’t think that at all.”  
  
  
Cleo looked up in surprise.  
  
  
“That one is not my call to make,” Tara continued softly, “It’s his. He’ll have my support no matter what. He always has.”  
  
  
JJ returned at that moment and stalled upon seeing the two ladies in there.  
  
  
“Oh. Uh…”  
  
  
Tara put the well-dried cup down and stepped aside.  
  
  
“Your mother has promised to show me her album of cats once she and Willow stop discussing differential equations.”  
  
  
“Oh…” Cleo replied, a pained look on her face, “That’s…that’s a long album.”  
  
  
Tara nodded cordially.  
  
  
“I’m sure it’s delightful. I always wanted a kitty.”  
  
  
She left them to it and rejoined the adults.  
  
  
JJ mouthed ‘what just happened?’ to Cleo, who shrugged but seemed pleased.  
  
  
Perhaps thankfully for Tara, they only got halfway through the ‘Kitten Around’ album before they needed to leave for the airport.  
  
  
At the door, everyone said goodbye politely. They would never be best friends, and each couple thought the other was odd in different ways, but it was friendly.  
  
  
As they were leaving, Brittany shoved a tube of something from a wicker basket on the table near the coat rack.  
  
  
“Here. We give it to all of our guests.”  
  
  
Tara took it and turned it in her hand to see what it was.  
  
  
“Oh,” she said with a soft exhale, “Yeast infection cream.”  
  
  
The mean mom — though it felt wrong to call her that now…Santana, Tara reminded herself — crossed her arms across her chest.  
  
  
“I got a lifetime supply for a commercial I did once.”  
  
  
Willow snapped her fingers.  
  
  
“That’s where I recognize you from!”  
  
  
Santana gestured down herself with a smug smile.  
  
  
Everyone said their goodbyes and when Tara saw JJ and Cleo hovering awkwardly, she tugged gently on her wife’s sleeve.  
  
  
“Willow,” she called softly.  
  
  
“What?” Willow asked with a frown.  
  
  
Tara turned her head to the side indicatively and took Willow’s hand to pull her around the corner to wait at the elevator. Willow spluttered in protest.  
  
  
“Rewarding, Tara!”  
  
  
Tara gave Willow a look, who sighed and relented.  
  
  
JJ didn’t push his luck and jogged around the corner about two minutes later with a winning smile and flushed cheeks.  
  
  
Even Willow had to smile. But she hid it. It was easy when moments later they heard a yell of:  
  
  
“Oh and never forget, I have razorblades hidden in my hair!”  
  
  
JJ looked appropriately terrified but that smile returned to his face again when Cleo's head popped around the wall.  
  
  
“That's just Mami being Mami. She's kidding…usually.”  
  
  
“No I’m not!”  
  
  
The elevator door opened and Willow ushered her family in quickly.  
  
  
The sun had gone down and so during their ride back to the airport they were treated to views of the glistening lights of the city that never sleeps. JJ was mesmerized. The smile never left his face once.  
  
  
Once they were on the plane, he leaned forward in his seat to the two seats in front, where Willow and Tara were sitting.  
  
  
“Moms?”  
  
  
They both looked back at him.  
  
  
“Thank you,” he said sincerely.  
  
  
Tara smiled and Willow looked at him wryly.  
  
  
“You’re still punished.”  
  
  
“I know,” JJ answered with a resigned nod, “Can I listen to music?”  
  
  
Tara took JJ’s phone from her purse and handed it back to him.  
  
  
Willow looked at her incredulously.  
  
  
“It’s on flight mode,” Tara said quietly with a smile that said ‘chill out’.  
  
  
Willow looked sheepish and leaned back in her seat.  
  
  
“I’m surprised you even know what ‘flight mode’ is,” she replied with some faux haughtiness, then looked over at Tara quizzically, “Her parents were a little kooky, right? It’s not just me?”  
  
  
“Some people say that about us,” Tara replied and Willow looked offended.  
  
  
“First trip to New York City and I didn’t even get a pretzel.”  
  
  
“Maybe we could come back someday,” Tara shrugged softly.  
  
  
“He’ll certainly be wanting to,” Willow threw her shoulder back indicatively, “We need to establish _a lot_ of ground rules.”  
  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
  
“Yes.”  
  
  
“No gallivanting off on flights of fancy,” Willow said sternly.  
  
  
“Definitely not,” Tara agreed.  
  
  
Willow threw Tara some side-eye.  
  
  
“Why are you so calm?”  
  
  
Tara turned her head toward Willow and looked at her adoringly.  
  
  
“Because I keep thinking about what we would have been like if we’d met on vacation at 16.”  
  
  
Slowly, very slowly, Willow’s face broke out in a smile. She glanced behind to make sure JJ wasn’t listening.  
  
  
“I would have chartered a plane,” she said conspiringly, “And there’s only a small chance my parents would have even noticed.”  
  
  
Tara put a hand on her heart.  
  
  
“You would have chartered a whole plane?”  
  
  
“A spacecraft even,” Willow nodded seriously.  
  
  
Willow put her hand on Tara’s arm and squeezed.  
  
  
“Maybe there’s an alien Willow and Tara out there somewhere.”  
  
  
Tara smiled easily.  
  
  
“A Willow and Tara for every world.”  
  
  
Willow sighed happily.  
  
  
“That sounds like heaven to me.”  
  
  
Tara nodded and very slightly arched her eyebrow.  
  
  
“So let’s remember he feels that way too.”  
  
  
“We have over twenty years on him,” Willow argued with a serious nod.  
  
  
Tara leaned in and pecked Willow’s lips very softly.  
  
  
“I loved you like this the moment I set eyes on you.”  
  
  
Willow’s lip curled up in distaste.  
  
  
“Crap,” she said sheepishly, “Me too.”  
  
  
Tara covered Willow’s hand and squeezed.  
  
  
“Let’s meditate on that for a while.”  
  
  
Willow nodded and smiled tiredly.  
  
  
“Does that meditation involve some head-on-shoulder action?”  
  
  
Tara cocked her shoulder alluringly, or at least alluring to Willow.  
  
  
“Shoulder is ready and waiting.”  
  
  
Willow rested her head there and mumbled happy noises.  
  
  
“Your shoulders are so soft,” she said in appreciation, “They feel like they just walked out of an 80s movie about an empowered woman.”  
  
  
“Feel better?” Tara asked gently as she put her opposite arm around Willow’s waist to hold her in that spot.  
  
  
Willow locked arms with Tara. She could stay in that spot forever.  
  
  
“Right here? I feel perfect.”


	14. Chapter 14

“One cell phone, blue.”  
  
  
Willow put the cell phone onto the kitchen island and reached into the box in front of her again.  
  
  
“Two games controllers, black.”  
  
  
She took the final thing, or set of things, out and placed them with the rest.  
  
  
“Keys, silver with various different colored covers and one fob, black.”  
  
  
“Do we have to do this?” JJ asked, pained.  
  
  
Willow lifted her chin haughtily.  
  
  
“You were so eager to go to prison before, this is how they treat people there.”  
  
  
JJ gathered his confiscated items in his arms.  
  
  
“I’m not grounded anymore. Aren’t you supposed to forgive and y’know, forget?”  
  
  
Willow arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Will I forget you snuggling up with me and Mom on Saturday night to watch My Best Friend’s Wedding?”  
  
  
JJ scowled as he walked away.  
  
  
“You shouldn’t shame me for not indulging in toxic masculinity.”  
  
  
“My brother!” Robyn grinned and lifted her hand to high five him for that, but he apologetically indicated his hands were full, “Catch you later.”  
  
  
“My sister from another mister!” JJ winked back at her.  
  
  
“Don’t call her that!” Willow called after him with a frown.  
  
  
Robyn swung herself onto a stool.  
  
  
“Got any hop juice?”  
  
  
Willow kept frowning.  
  
  
“Why would I give you a beer?”  
  
  
Robyn shrugged one shoulder.  
  
  
“…I didn’t know that meant beer. It just sounded good on this western they showed us in school.”  
  
  
“It is,” Willow smiled, “Which you’ll find out when you’re 21 and not a day before.”  
  
  
Robyn rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“Don’t do that,” Willow chastised with quiet frustration.  
  
  
Robyn rested her chin on her upturned palm.  
  
  
“Why? What have you ever done for me?”  
  
  
Willow’s mouth dropped indignantly.  
  
  
“I’m the one who rubbed lotion into your butt crack when you had chickenpox!”  
  
  
Robyn visibly cringed.  
  
  
“Gross.”  
  
  
“Not to mention, oh, I don’t know, carrying and giving birth to you?” Willow continued, crossing her arms on her chest.  
  
  
“Did I _ask_ you to do those things?” Robyn countered in a mocking tone.  
  
  
“You begged for the lotion actually,” Willow replied petulantly, but when she paused, she started to smile fondly, “You were only three. The twins were still babies so Mom had to bring them to your grandparents until you were better. JJ already had the pox but you were a grumpy little thing so he stayed with Alex while you were sick. It was just you and me.”  
  
  
She leaned over the island and took Robyn’s hands.  
  
  
“You used to sleep all curled up like a kitty when you were little. And that week you slept all curled around my leg. I’d wake up to you rubbing my foot against your belly where most of the spots were.”  
  
  
Robyn, surprisingly, didn’t force her hands away.  
  
  
“That was real? I thought I remembered a dream.”  
  
  
“You remember that?” Willow asked softly.  
  
  
“Kinda?” Robyn replied unsurely.  
  
  
Willow smiled some more.  
  
  
“You were really little,” she said and tapped Robyn’s hands, “Are you all packed for the cabin?”  
  
  
Robyn nodded quickly.  
  
  
“I like the cabin. All the furniture is recycled wood.”  
  
  
“Hallelujah,” Willow threw her hands up.  
  
  
Robyn rolled her eyes but turned her back to walk away first.  
  
  
“Make sure you pack my tofu dogs!”  
  
  
Willow looked pained as Tara passed by Robyn and joined Willow in the kitchen.  
  
  
“Is she on a vegan kick again? You know she always throws in the towel the first time we order pepperoni pizza!”  
  
  
“No,” Tara replied in a calming voice, “We talked about it and agreed to be meatless two days a week as a compromise.”  
  
  
Willow looked unimpressed.  
  
  
“I’m not eating a tofu dog.”  
  
  
Tara gripped Willow’s arms and pressed their lips together.  
  
  
“You don’t have to. I’m bringing them for her for the BBQ. Along with plenty of regular, good old fashioned American hot dogs. Which probably has far more questionable ingredients than the tofu dogs.”  
  
  
“Ignorance is bliss,” Willow smiled cheerily.  
  
  
Tara put her arms around Willow’s neck.  
  
  
“Did you officially lift JJ’s grounding?”  
  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
  
“Warden Willow carried out her duties.”  
  
  
“Ooh, I could be interested in that,” Tara grinned and pushed her hips against Willow, who grinned back.  
  
  
They hugged for a moment and Tara popped another kiss on Willow’s cheek.  
  
  
“Is the car packed?”  
  
  
“Just have to get the girls’ things,” Willow replied, pushing off the island, “You’d think we’re moving up there permanently with the amount of stuff I’ve lugged into the car. Well, honestly…Kayden did a lot of the lugging. But I pointed him in the right direction.”  
  
  
“Of the car?” Tara grinned.  
  
  
Willow stuck out her tongue.  
  
  
Tara winked.  
  
  
Willow smiled.  
  
  
“Have we got medications and Emily’s inhaler?”  
  
  
“In my purse,” Tara confirmed, “With my Epipen. We’re all good to go.”  
  
  
“And we’re not even late!” Willow threw her hands up in delight, “Let’s grab those tofu dogs and hit the road!”  
  
  
Forty miles or so south of home, every window in the minivan was rolled down and the lucky few sitting right beside them had their heads hanging out of them.  
  
  
“How does something vegan smell like a stinky pig?!” Lily exclaimed distastefully.  
  
  
“Yeah, like a stinky pig that hasn’t been abused!” Robyn shot back, holding her crossed arms as close to her face as possible so she could bury her nose in them.  
  
  
“Robyn, enough,” Willow said sternly through the mirror, resentful that she needed both hands on the wheel and couldn’t use one to plug her nose.  
  
  
“Sweetheart, we spoke about the preaching,” Tara called back gently.  
  
  
Robyn’s brow furrowed glumly.  
  
  
“They started it.”  
  
  
“I’ll try one of your Tofurkeys, Robyn,” Kayden said kindly, though his eyes blinked repeatedly as he tried not to inhale inward.  
  
  
Robyn dropped her arms and looked at him gratefully.  
  
  
“Oinkers and Piggie Smalls thank you.”  
  
  
Willow shook her head and muttered to Tara.  
  
  
“I knew it was a bad idea letting her adopt those pigs.”  
  
  
“You approved her bi-annual spending forecast,” Tara replied pointedly with an arched eyebrow.  
  
  
Willow pouted, unimpressed.  
  
  
“Are we there yet?” Lily called impatiently from the back.  
  
  
“Halfway kiddo,” Willow advised with a sigh.  
  
  
“Who wants to play a car game?” Tara suggested, to lift spirits.  
  
  
“NO,” was the resounding answer except for Kayden and Emily who offered a sweet ‘Me’ and ‘I do, Mommy!’ respectively.  
  
  
It only took about three minutes of The License Plate game for everyone in the car to be pointing and shouting at each new car that passed by and playfully fighting over who saw it first.  
  
  
Moods had been lifted as they arrived at the state park where their cabin home was to be for the weekend. Willow looked out sadly as they passed by the 1-bed cabins where she had Tara had originally been booked into for a steamy weekend away for their anniversary.  
  
  
She could just see the big, comfy bed with Egyptian cotton sheets and pillows made of cloud. The big, open fireplace with the plush rug in front of it made for lying on to absorb the warmth and the warm cedarwood walls that bounce so delightfully against that red, silk robe of Tara’s as it slipped away from her body…  
  
  
She sighed.  
  
  
Well, the fireplace would still be in the big house, she guessed. That was some consolation.  
  
  
She drove up a hill to the family cabins and a particular set of three. Outside the first, the Harris family were unpacking their wares and outside the third, Alice, Jesse, and Ella were doing the same. As Willow parked up, she spotted Becky and Brian exiting the third house to help with the final load. All that separated each house was some shrubbery.  
  
  
“How did this go from a cabin for two to a cabin for…nineteen?” Willow looked at Tara longingly.  
  
  
Tara playfully tapped Willow’s nose.  
  
  
“You told Xander.”  
  
  
Willow rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“Who told Jesse, who told Becky, who was overheard by Buffy,” she sighed, then looked up curiously, “Hey, these cabins are three-beds…Wouldn’t that mean Jesse and Alice are sharing since they all went in on the one house?”  
  
  
Tara put a finger against her lips and Willow quickly nodded.  
  
  
“Alright kids,” she said as she opened her door, “Get haulin’!”  
  
  
“Why do we have to do?” Robyn asked grudgingly.  
  
  
“Because it’s the only benefit of having five kids,” Willow returned with a grin.  
  
  
The doors slid open and Woofy jumped out, delighted with all of the new grass and shrubs to sniff and mark. He went into full zoomies when Aurey appeared from the other house, all long limbs, and excited drool as she barreled toward him.  
  
  
Everyone grabbed a bag or cooler and made their way toward the house. Tara picked up the last cooler and thrust it at Willow, smiling sweetly.  
  
  
“It’s the only benefit of having a wife.”  
  
  
Willow stuck out her tongue and Tara arched an eyebrow. Willow blushed.  
  
  
Seven people did empty the car pretty quickly and Willow left the car open to air out.  
  
  
“To-frickin’-furkey.”  
  
  
Xander came out of his house and waved at Willow.  
  
  
“Howdy, neighbor!”  
  
  
Willow couldn’t help but smile. They hadn’t all been together like this in a while and it was supposed to be a nice weekend, weather-wise. There were some lovely walks in the area and they’d brought bikes for the kids. There were waterfalls and playgrounds and even fishing facilities, which is why Xander had been so eager to come, Willow knew.  
  
  
“Howdy,” Willow returned with a smile, “Where are the—”  
  
  
Just then Pixie came skipping out and over to their yard.  
  
  
“Hi Aunty Willow,” she greeted with ethereal happiness and Willow once again wondered how that child could have come out of Anya.  
  
  
“Hey Pixie-sticks,” Willow smiled with a wave and looked back to Xander, “Going fishing?”  
  
  
“Taking the boys first thing,” Xander answered excitedly.  
  
  
“Better you than me,” Willow returned with a grin.  
  
  
Anya came out of the house upon hearing a conversation and walked over with her arms crossed.  
  
  
“Can you believe they didn’t give us a discount when we brought so many people here?”  
  
  
“Um, what now?” Willow asked in disbelief, “You didn’t—”  
  
  
“At least the bed seems sturdy,” Anya continued as if Willow hadn’t spoken, “We’ve moving onto page 69 of our new book and you know that will be a good one. Where’s Tara? I want to tell her about page 69.”  
  
  
“She’s quite familiar already,” Willow barked back.  
  
  
“She’s read it too?” Anya’s face lit up and she walked through the gap in the shrubbery to follow Pixie into the house.  
  
  
Willow shot Xander a firm ‘look’.  
  
  
“Um, honey?” Xander called after her, “Tara probably needs a chance to unpack.”  
  
  
Anya threw her hands up and came back.  
  
  
“Oh, alright. 69ing can wait.”  
  
  
Willow’s back teeth clenched together but she raised her hand and forced a smile.  
  
  
“See you later! The missus will make me sleep on the couch if I don’t help her unpack.”  
  
  
Xander grinned goofily.  
  
  
“Don’t want to miss out on that sturdiness.”  
  
  
Willow offered a placating smile and quickly retreated.  
  
  
“Hey Beck,” she called over the yard as she went in the door as Becky was coming out, “Glad you and Bri were able to make it too.”  
  
  
“Cheap bed, why not?” Becky asked with a smile, “Jess just wants payment in beers, which happens to be a currency I’m very familiar with.”  
  
  
“Do I get a referral fee?” Willow asked cheerily.  
  
  
Maybe this weekend wouldn’t be so bad after all.  
  
  
Becky winked.  
  
  
“I always pay my debts.”  
  
  
Willow chuckled and went into the house.  
  
  
She stood in the hallway and just enjoyed her surroundings for a moment. There was something very grounding about standing in a log cabin with the windows open, appreciating the sights and sounds and smells of nature.  
  
  
“I WANT THE BED BY THE WINDOW SO I CAN SEE IF ANY FAIRIES COME TO VISIT!”  
  
  
Lily’s unique brand of screech ripped through the sounds of nature and Willow forced a smile as she ascended the stairs to referee.  
  
  
“Okay, all of you, OUT!” she instructed, waving her arms in the direction of the door, “Go have a pebble finding competition or sniff some flowers or something. Do you know how many kids would kill for this kind of—Robyn, you’re standing in front of a mirror, I can see you mocking me.”  
  
  
Robyn’s mouth promptly clamped shut and she ran toward the door.  
  
  
“Let’s go play hide and seek in the trees!”  
  
  
Willow caught Emily’s wrist as she followed the rest of them out. Willow bent down to her level.  
  
  
“Emmy, do you want the fairy bed?”  
  
  
Emily’s eyes grew troubled and she glanced at the laughing going on outside the door, heading for the stairs.  
  
  
“You can have it if you want it,” Willow said with a reassuring nod, “You didn’t pick the bed in Hawaii or California.”  
  
  
Emily’s bottom lip shook for a moment before she glanced at the window and back at Willow, eyes full of wonder.  
  
  
“I want the fairy bed, Momma.”  
  
  
Willow smiled and rubbed Emily’s back.  
  
  
“Go play with your sisters and Pixie. Don’t forget to get Ella!”  
  
  
Willow put Emily’s Winnie the Pooh backpack on the bed closest to the window. She put the other two bags belonging to Robyn and Lily on the other beds to close the matter once and for all.  
  
  
She walked past the boys’ room but their bags had been abandoned in place of exploring so Willow continued on to the master bedroom in the back.  
  
  
“Where did they get this fairy thing from anyway?” she asked Tara, who was neatly folding away their clothes for the weekend.  
  
  
“I’ve been telling them bedtime stories about the fairies who live in the woods here,” Tara smiled and Willow felt a bit of fairy magic in the air at how she lit up the room.  
  
  
“That’ll do it,” Willow’s head bobbed in response, “We’re going to have to leave some dust or something around now.”  
  
  
Tara lifted a little baggie of glitter from her case. Willow grinned.  
  
  
“Always prepared. Were you a girl scout and never told me?”  
  
  
Tara got a flash of something on her face and looked down at the shirts she was folding.  
  
  
“No,” she answered quietly, a little bit hollow.  
  
  
Willow winced. She came over and put her hand on the small of Tara’s back.  
  
  
“I’m sorry, Tara.”  
  
  
“It’s totally fine,” Tara replied and looked up with a little trying-to-be-reassuring smile.  
  
  
Willow swallowed.  
  
  
“I know things are probably still raw since…”  
  
  
Tara moved away to put the clothes in the dresser.  
  
  
“Honestly, I’m just relieved JJ seems to have learned his lesson.”  
  
  
“We still need to be careful now that he has privileges back. I understand Cleo is important to him but she’s not an excuse for any bad behavior.”  
  
  
“I’d like to spend more time with her,” Tara replied definitively, “Maybe she can come up to visit.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrow arched.  
  
  
“And stay in which room exactly?”  
  
  
Tara gave Willow a pleading look.  
  
  
“Let’s not ruin this nice weekend, okay?”  
  
  
“You brought it up,” Willow returned with a sigh as she looked out of the window, “Sun is going down. Buffy and Angel will be here soon with Liam. You better hurry down if you want to capitalize on those toddler snuggles before he goes to bed.”  
  
  
She smiled at Tara and came over to help her unpack. Once that was done and the cooler was emptied into the fridge, Willow popped open a bottle of wine and poured two glasses, which she brought out to Tara sitting on the little patio in the front.  
  
  
As she walked out, Angel’s SUV pulled up on the curb. All of the windows were tinted so they didn’t see Liam until Buffy freed him from his car seat and he came barreling toward them on uneven legs.  
  
  
“Aunty Ta-wa!”  
  
  
Tara picked him up just as he jumped into her arms.  
  
  
“Hey, he’s getting better at pronouncing my name.”  
  
  
“We’ve been working on it,” Buffy called out in a tired tone from the car, “Think you could…?”  
  
  
“Go ahead,” Tara smiled at them and then back down at the boy, “Hello Mr. Liam. How are we doing today?”  
  
  
She swung him around the place and elicited much giggling.  
  
  
Willow smiled watching them and then somehow found herself convinced to get on all fours in the grass to be the red-maned lion that he and Tara had to tame.  
  
  
“Good look for you, Will,” Buffy grinned as she came back down to lock the car.  
  
  
Willow rose to her feet with a few indignant creaks.  
  
  
“I will have you know I played the part of The Cowardly Lion himself in my drama class’s production of The Wizard of Oz in college.”  
  
  
Buffy looked skeptical and Willow sighed.  
  
  
“Okay, I read lines with the Tin Man. Once. Because he was standing behind Tara and I could secretly check her out.”  
  
  
Liam toddled over to Buffy, rubbing his eyes.  
  
  
“I think somebody needs a bottle and a bedtime story, huh?” she asked him sweetly after plucking him up, “Say night-night to Aunty Willow and Aunty Tara.”  
  
  
“Nigh’-nigh’,” Liam replied agreeably, and sleepily.  
  
  
“Night-night, Liam,” Willow and Tara said at the same time.  
  
  
Buffy disappeared back into the house and Willow and Tara retook their seats on the patio. Willow smiled as she clinked their glasses together. It was a rare moment of peace with the kids off playing and the other adults finalizing things in their houses.  
  
  
“This is what I imagined when I first booked a cabin for us.”  
  
  
“Well let’s savor it,” Tara replied with an answering smile.  
  
  
Willow looked sheepish.  
  
  
“Because the kids will be back in twenty minutes; filthy and demanding food?”  
  
  
Tara chuckled.  
  
  
“Because we have this moment and we should live in it.”  
  
  
Willow looked at Tara and found new love filling her heart. Like the universe, it just seemed to keep expanding and expanding.  
  
  
Tara recognized the look and smiled alluringly.  
  
  
“I love to see those flames dance.”  
  
  
Willow was helpless to stop it.  
  
  
“Burn, baby, burn.”  
  


* * *

  
“Uncle Xander, it’s not gone bad, it just hasn’t been formed by churned cruelty.”  
  
  
“Well it needs to churn itself all the way over the edge of my grill, little lady,” Xander replied to Robyn jovially, “Sorry, kid. Can’t get that stank into the burgers.”  
  
  
Robyn scowled and marched away, indignant.  
  
  
Willow weaved through the crowd of everyone gathered in their back yard, though with only small bushes separating the houses it was easy for there to be overflow.  
  
  
Everyone was in little groups chatting and the kids were playing and it felt very much like a party back home but with a much better view. Green grass, trees for miles and if you were quiet you could hear a waterfall falling into its pool nearby.  
  
  
Of course, right now it was completely drowned out by the chatter but Willow enjoyed the buzz of conversation and happy squeals from the girls and Liam who was lapping up all of the attention.  
  
  
Willow caught Tara’s eye, who was caught up in apparently heated conversation with Anya involving lots of hand gestures and body movements, to see if she needed a drink or saving, but Tara just smiled gently in Willow’s direction and dodged Anya as she did a body roll in Tara’s direction.  
  
  
Willow was happy to stay away.  
  
  
She walked across the yard to where Kayden was sitting in the grass, running his fingers through the blades. As she got closer, she saw he was playing with a ladybug.  
  
  
She lowered herself onto her knees beside him.  
  
  
“You know ladybugs aren’t bugs — they’re beetles.”  
  
  
Kayden looked up with a shy smile.  
  
  
“And when they lay eggs, some of them don’t have an embryo. They’re little snacks for their babies when they’re born,” he said and looked excited to be able to continue, “And they have two sets of wings. One in their shell for protection and the other ones to fly.”  
  
  
Willow smiled fondly.  
  
  
“You are a nugget of information.”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged his shoulders bashfully.  
  
  
“I did a report in sixth grade.”  
  
  
Willow smiled some more and patted Kayden on the shoulder.  
  
  
“Come on, nugget,” she said, slowly straightening up her knees again, “Let’s get some burgers before Xander has one too many beers and starts to burn them.”  
  
  
On their way, they passed the other boys.  
  
  
“Your girlfriend is so hot,” Alex fanned himself as he looked over JJ’s shoulder, who was showing off pictures on his phone now it was back in his possession, “Isn’t she hot, Kayden?”  
  
  
Kayden stalled.  
  
  
“Oh, umm,” he gulped but recovered quickly, “O-of course.”  
  
  
JJ flicked onto a new photo and Alex ran around in circles.  
  
  
“DUDE! How can she like _you_?!”  
  
  
Willow frowned, annoyed on many levels, and patted Kayden’s back before going off to the grill by herself.  
  
  
As she approached the grill, the men were all huddled together sloshing beers and being generally macho as they stood around burning meat.  
  
  
“Am I a piece of lump charcoal baby?” Jesse said with deep intonation, “Because my wood is sure hard.”  
  
  
They all started laughing, even Angel gave a smirk, and Xander snapped his tongs in the air.  
  
  
“Damn girl! Was your dad a grill master? Because you are sizzling!”  
  
  
“Heaven must be missing an ambrosia salad!” Willow piped up as she walked into their space.  
  
  
They all looked at her blankly. Willow gulped.  
  
  
“‘Cause it’s the food of the gods? And BBQ food? Like oh, you’re a goddess? And heaven is…missing…your…salad.”  
  
  
She frowned, then looked down and thrust her plate forward silently.  
  
  
She received two burgers from Xander and quickly moved off to fix them up the toppings station. When she looked back into the yard she spotted Tara on her own and took the opportunity to get her attention.  
  
  
Determined to redeem herself, at least in her own mind, she approached Tara with her chin raised high.  
  
  
“Do you sleep on your stomach?”  
  
  
Tara frowned.  
  
  
“What? No. You do though.”  
  
  
Willow floundered, not anticipating that answer.  
  
  
“Uh… Um… Can I?”  
  
  
“Can you what?” Tara asked, looking at Willow in bewilderment.  
  
  
“Sleep on your stomach?” Willow asked with a sheepish creak in her voice, then pouted, “I was trying a line.”  
  
  
“You don’t need a line,” Tara replied with a slightly arched eyebrow, “You just need your face.”  
  
  
Ira must be a grill master because Willow felt her insides sizzle.  
  
  
“Now there’s a line.”  
  
  
Tara winked.  
  
  
“And I didn’t even tell you where you need your face to be yet.”  
  
  
Willow blushed and giggled.  
  
  
“I knew I should have just been hanging out with you all along,” she said, perching her butt down and holding the plate between them, “Burger?”  
  
  
She picked at one of the burgers.  
  
  
“They put on extra cheese because of my cheesy attempt at a pick-up line. They think they’re so funny. I should have pushed Xander into the waterfall when we were there earlier.”  
  
  
Tara accepted some food from the plate.  
  
  
“Do you remember why we’re down here at the cabins in the first place?”  
  
  
Willow looked up and smiled.  
  
  
“Of course,” she said, leaning over to press a long kiss to Tara’s cheek, “Happy Anniversary.”  
  
  
“Happy Anniversary, my love,” Tara returned sweetly and smiled out at the party, “We didn’t do too badly for ourselves, huh?”  
  
  
Willow leaned her head in on Tara’s shoulder and kissed her neck.  
  
  
“All because a girl plucked up the courage to ask another girl to hold her hand.”  
  
  
Tara held her hand up and Willow took it proudly.  
  
  
They each ate one-handed so they didn’t have to part and even stood together in unison when they decided to walk back over to the grill, where most of the adults had congregated to sit and eat. They refilled their single plates and pulled up seats to join the conversation.  
  
  
“I just want her hair but also her face and body and accent and just everything about her?” Becky said to Alice, gesturing up and down her upper body as she held an empty plate on her lap.  
  
  
“Becky’s going through a Margot Robbie phase,” Brian informed Willow and Tara with a fond smile.  
  
  
“Hey, me too,” Jesse cut in and chuckled, “Probably not in the same way.”  
  
  
Alice frowned and quickly looked away.  
  
  
Becky flicked her hair back and grinned across the group.  
  
  
“Everyone knows the only chick I would ever bang is Tara.”  
  
  
“She _is_ the only non-celebrity on Becky’s list,” Brian supplied helpfully, “David Tennant…Lebron James…Tara.”  
  
  
“Not only is she stealing my wife, but she’s also stealing my favorite Doctor,” Willow replied indignantly, “I’m surprised you haven’t made it a threesome.”  
  
  
“I’ll take David and Lebron in a threesome,” Becky smirked, then winked and lifted her glass in a toast, “I want Tara all to myself.”  
  
  
Tara blushed and raised her glass. Willow slapped her wrist down.  
  
  
“Don’t cheers that!”  
  
  
She frowned at Tara, then gestured wildly off to the side.  
  
  
“Oh, look Kayden has his guitar!” she very purposefully jumped conversations, “Please son, save me from this nightmare.”  
  
  
Kayden blushed as all of the attention suddenly turned on him.  
  
  
“Um, I wanted to sing a song for you for your anniversary.”  
  
  
“That’s so sweet,” Tara beamed, quickly turning her chair around to face back into the yard.  
  
  
Everyone else did much the same.  
  
  
Kayden hadn’t really anticipated the utter silent attention he would have for this but surprisingly, it didn’t make him want to back away.  
  
  
He looked to Tara shyly.  
  
  
“I know you like The Beatles so I hope you like this one,” he adjusted the guitar on his knee and smiled at Willow, “Maybe somewhere else in the multiverse they’re called The Ladybugs.”  
  
  
Willow put a hand over her heart and smiled.  
  
  
The kids had all crawled back for the show and the little girls were sitting around Kayden’s feet.  
  
  
Kayden smiled at them and started to play.  
  
  
“ _There are places I’ll remember all my life, though some have changed. Some forever, not for better. Some have gone, and some remain_.”  
  
  
Willow took Tara’s hand again and squeezed tight. They didn’t need to look at each other and wouldn’t, giving all of their attention to Kayden.  
  
  
People swayed as he played and though his cheeks were red under the moonlight, Kayden’s smile was splitting his face.  
  
  
“ _…for people and things that went before. I know I’ll often stop and think about them…in my life I’ll love you more._ ”  
  
  
His eyes flittered from Willow and Tara to the girls and JJ, who had actually put his phone down long enough to listen with a grin and finally to the wider group and back to Willow and Tara.  
  
  
“ _In my life I’ll love you more._ ”  
  


* * *

  
“Herrugh!”  
  
  
Willow heaved the heavy trash bag full of empties into the can outside and blew out a puff of air.  
  
  
Everyone had gone home nicely tipsy with promises of returning in the morning to help clean up but Willow knew there was somewhere between jack and none of that actually happening. She definitely didn’t want to be trying to run around after some wayward napkin while they were trying to corral the kids into getting ready to go in the morning so she’d just smiled all pacifying like and did the clean-up herself.  
  
  
Even Tara had sneaked out on her.  
  
  
She did a last check of the yard and turned off all of the lights before returning into the house. Dishes would have to be done in the morning after breakfast anyway, so Willow decided to leave what was there.  
  
  
As she made her way into the hallway, intending to go upstairs and see if Tara was still awake, she noticed shadows bouncing off of the walls coming through the doorway into the living room.  
  
  
She peered into investigate and her breath caught.  
  
  
Tara had found her.  
  
  
Just as Willow had imagined.  
  
  
Fire roaring, plush rug, red satin robe.  
  
  
Willow gulped.  
  
  
“I didn’t know you brought that.”  
  
  
Tara lay on her side on the white rub with the low flicker of flame from the small fire she’d set lapping behind her. Her head rested on her upturned palm, one ankle was turned provocatively over the other and she bore the smirk of a plan well executed.  
  
  
She hooked a finger and curled it toward herself. Willow took the instruction like a magnet being pulled.  
  
  
As Willow sank onto her knees, Tara reached into her bra under her robe and produced a piece of paper folded into a small square. She held it up between two fingers.  
  
  
“I want to show you my list.”  
  
  
“Is Becky top of it?” Willow asked with an unamused look on her face, “With her non-jellied-belly and lack of surgery scars and boobs that weren’t sucked dry by a helpless infant.”  
  
  
Tara held out the square for Willow to take.  
  
  
Willow took it and with skepticism, slowly unfolded it. Scribbled everywhere, in different sizes and even different styles, was Willow’s name. Over and over and over again.  
  
  
Willow’s smile bloomed. She leaned over Tara and kissed her, hard.  
  
  
Tara fell onto her back and pulled Willow on top of her. As they kissed, she started to unbutton Willow’s sweater.  
  
  
Willow pulled back during a gasp.  
  
  
“Here?”  
  
  
“They’re asleep,” Tara whispered, the fire lighting up her grin, “And I got some tips earlier.”  
  
  
Willow grinned back.  
  
  
A little while in, Willow’s clothing was loosened and her mouth was engaged on Tara’s neck but her body grew stiff when she heard some sort of crashing.  
  
  
Her head popped up.  
  
  
“What was that?”  
  
  
“The fairies,” Tara replied wryly and Willow giggled, followed swiftly by a moan.  
  
  
As the single lit fire log dimmed to almost nothing, Tara tugged a breathless Willow by the hand.  
  
  
“We should go upstairs. We need the bed for the sturdiness if we’re going to do page 69 properly.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes popped.  
  
  
“That wasn’t page 69?”  
  
  
Tara smirked again.  
  
  
“Not even close.”  
  
  
Willow looked overwhelmed.  
  
  
“Then what was that?”  
  
  
Tara winked as she stood.  
  
  
“All me.”  
  
  
Willow scrambled up and ran after her wife as fast as she could.  
  


* * *

  
In the middle of the night, JJ slept on the bottom bunk in his and Kayden’s room because he hadn’t been quick enough when they arrived to grab the top.  
  
  
He’d just laughed and said ‘alright dude’ when Kayden had claimed it because he hadn’t really seen Kayden have the confidence to do something like that before.  
  
  
He slept with his arm thrown at an angle above his head, holding his phone in case he got a message from Cleo.  
  
  
However, it wasn’t vibrations that woke him up.  
  
  
It was licking on his face. It wasn’t unpleasant given the dream he was rousing from but when he crossed the threshold from sleep to wake, he started to splutter.  
  
  
“Wha—Jeez, Woofy, get off me!”  
  
  
He gently batted Woofy away, who started to bark incessantly.  
  
  
“Can’t you hold it?” JJ whined when Woofy began pawing at him desperately.  
  
  
He grumbled and threw the blanket off. He walked over and put his hand on the doorknob.  
  
  
“Ow!” he exclaimed and shook out his finger in annoyance.  
  
  
He pulled the ajar door open fully.  
  
  
He gasped.  
  
  
“Oh shit!”


	15. Chapter 15

“Oh shit!”  
  
  
JJ shielded his face from the intense heat that suddenly pummeled into him. His eyes were momentarily blinded by smoke.  
  
  
With no time to recover, he threw himself back into the room and started to shake the bed frame.  
  
  
“Woofy, go wake moms!” he said, then louder when Woofy continued to look at him unsurely, “MOMS!”  
  
  
Woofy sped off and JJ covered his mouth and nose while putting his hand on Kayden.  
  
  
“Kayden, wake up! Wake up! NOW!”  
  
  
Kayden woke up gruffly and held his head up.  
  
  
“What’s going on?”  
  
  
And then he saw the smoke.   
  
  
JJ yanked him clean off the bed.  
  
  
“Come on, we gotta get the girls!”  
  
  
He ran back out to the hallway and stumbled back at the force of the thick, black smoke pummeling through the air. He peered over the railings and could see flames licking the floor below. Holding his arm over his mouth again, he barreled through the smoke towards the girls’ room.  
  
  
“Emily, Lily, wake up!” he shouted as he came and rattled their beds, “Robyn, get up, get up!”  
  
  
The girls all woke up and rubbed their eyes. JJ swooped both Lily and Emily up in either arm like he would when he was pretending to use them as weights to make them giggle. No one was giggling now.  
  
  
“There’s a fire. We gotta get out of here!”  
  
  
“Dumb joke,” Robyn started to grumble and turn over in bed but then she smelled the smoke that had come in when JJ barreled through the door.  
  
  
Robyn looked at JJ with deep, scared eyes.  
  
  
“JJ?”  
  
  
“Come on, kid,” JJ said quickly, “We have to get out of here NOW!”  
  
  
Robyn quickly nodded and almost tripped over her feet trying to get up.  
  
  
“Everyone cover your mouths!” JJ instructed and the girls all pulled their pajama tops over their faces.  
  
  
Even Lily was too scared to speak.  
  
  
JJ hurried everyone back into the hallway just as Willow and Tara were running from their room.  
  
  
“Kids!” Willow spluttered and coughed as she grabbed onto each of them.  
  
  
“Where’s Kayden?” Tara asked, her eyes roaming desperately to see through the smoke.  
  
  
JJ looked around in confusion.  
  
  
“He was…he was with me…”  
  
  
Tara gulped. She pushed JJ’s back.  
  
  
“Go, get your sisters out, go!” she instructed, then picked Robyn up for Willow to hold, “Take Robyn, I have to find Kayden!”  
  
  
“Tara,” Willow looked at her, afraid.  
  
  
But there was no time.  
  
  
“Willow, go!”  
  
  
Tara turned on her heels, covered her mouth, and ran back down the hallway.  
  
  
“Kayden!” she called, able to physically hear the flames now as they burned the place to the ground fiber by fiber, “Kayden!”  
  
  
From the floor where JJ had accidentally deposited him, Kayden’s head rose and his eyes narrowed, hazy and confused.  
  
  
“…Mom?”  
  
  
Tara burst into the boys’ room and found Kayden on the floor. She bent down and tried to help him up.  
  
  
“Come on, love. We have to get out of here.”  
  
  
She hurried him up. He tried to move his arm and his head reeled back with pain.  
  
  
“OW!”  
  
  
Tara looked at him with fretful concern.  
  
  
“Come on, honey,” she insisted and pushed him all the way to the narrow staircase, “Go, go, go!”  
  
  
Jaded and still a little confused, Kayden got down the stairs as quickly as he could.  
  
  
The sight below promptly sobered him.  
  
  
Everything was ensconced in flames and the smell of burning was so pungent it made him gag. The smoke was even thicker and even blacker down there and that prompted Kayden to run as fast as he could out of the front door, swinging on its hinges.  
  
  
“Kayden!” Willow screamed with relief and threw her hands around him as he ran over to where they were all gathered.  
  
  
Everyone was out there now, not just Willow and JJ and the girls, but the inhabitants of the houses either side, all standing feet away from the burning house in their pajamas, shocked.  
  
  
Kayden got that pain in his arm again but he didn’t object to Willow hugging him.  
  
  
“Momma,” he breathed, wondering how he had never realized before how fresh clean air felt.  
  
  
Willow rubbed his back for a second, then two. Then her breath started to become ragged.  
  
  
“Where’s Tara?”  
  
  
Kayden spun around in alarm.  
  
  
“She was…she was right behind me.”  
  
  
JJ suddenly stood to his full height.  
  
  
“Mom?” he called, which swiftly turned into a screech, “MOM!”  
  
  
“MOM!” Kayden screamed, tears pricking his eyes.  
  
  
Both he and Kayden took a step forward at the same time and both Jesse and Xander anticipated this and grabbed them each around the middle from behind before they could go running back into that burning building on the brink of collapse.  
  
  
Thankfully, nobody thought to grab Willow.  
  
  
“TARA!” she screamed as she ran back into the house, watching as the flames crept up the stairs they’d all run down moments before but now were nothing but a death trap, “TARA!”  
  
  
She covered her mouth and tried to look around but the smoke was so thick.  
  
  
“TARA,” she screamed again, muffled but there was no answer.  
  
  
It was so hot Willow could feel her sweat evaporate as soon as it formed. Each breath singed her esophagus.  
  
  
Panic rising in her throat, she made a step toward the stairs in case Tara was trapped up there.   
  
  
And that’s when she saw her.  
  
  
Tara, lying unprotected and unconscious at the base of the stairs with the handrail from the staircase pinning her down.  
  
  
Willow dropped to her knees and tried to lift the handrail off, but it only served to burn her hands. She rolled her sleeves down over them and tried again but it just wouldn’t budge.  
  
  
It was too heavy.  
  
  
Willow couldn't push her nor pull her nor drag her nor save her.  
  
  
Tears stung her hot cheeks as she wondered whether to abandon Tara and run back outside or abandon her children and lay down right there to die with her love.  
  
  
Instead, she just kept on trying to lift the rail.   
  
  
That was her answer, she supposed.  
  
  
And then, by some force of god, the handrail lifted. Willow looked up sharply and saw that that force of god was Alexander Lavelle Harris The First.  
  
  
“You grab her head, I’ve got her legs,” Xander called through the haze, “One, two, three!”  
  
  
Willow cradled her precious wife’s head and together she and Xander ran out of the building with Tara swinging between them.  
  
  
As Willow stepped over the threshold, the whole place rattled and then the second floor crackled and sagged into the first, leaving a pile of burning rubble right at the spot that the stairs met the floor.  
  
  
Right where they’d been moments before.  
  
  
“MOM!” both Kayden and JJ were still screaming and rushed over when Xander and Willow brought her over to a safe spot on the grass.  
  
  
“Is she okay?” JJ panted.  
  
  
Willow held her hands up helplessly.  
  
  
Anya marched up and started smacking Xander on the chest.  
  
  
“You big stupid, stinking idiot!” she screeched, pummeling him in the chest, then throwing herself around him, “My hero.”  
  
  
Willow had fallen onto her butt beside Tara, her hair singed and black marks against her cheeks. She sought Tara’s hand and tried to catch her breath.  
  
  
She could hear sirens somewhere behind the rushing of her own blood but then suddenly there was a fresh tussle of commotion in the ground.  
  
  
“Where’s Woofy?!” Robyn exclaimed, the breath catching in her throat, “WOOFY!”  
  
  
“Woofy!!” the twins called out and then everyone was joining in.  
  
  
“C’mon boy!” JJ called and did their special whistle.  
  
  
Willow couldn’t bring herself to tell them how it looked in there. She closed her eyes and new tears formed.  
  
  
Then there was a cheer.  
  
  
Willow opened her eyes again and saw Aurey barreling toward them, holding Woofy by the scruff of his neck in her mouth. The white of his markings looked a little ashy but he was otherwise unharmed.  
  
  
“Good GIRL!” Jesse said with a thick lump of emotion in his tone as he bent down to pet Aurey, “You’re the best girl!”  
  
  
Robyn dropped to hold Woofy close to her and only let go when the others demanded a turn.  
  
  
The sirens got closer and Willow finally saw the flashing lights of an ambulance coming up the road. Moments later she had to move over so the paramedics could load Tara onto the stretcher and then there was a hand on her shoulder and another paramedic was asking if she was okay.  
  
  
Finally, she snapped to it.  
  
  
“My children,” she said croakily and coughed to clear her throat, “My children.”  
  
  
She jumped up and walked back to them. She grabbed Emily.  
  
  
“She has asthma,” she looked over to Kayden, who was holding his arm limply over his chest, “He hurt his arm.”  
  
  
The paramedic nodded.  
  
  
“Everybody who was in that building needs to be checked over. But I’ll take these two in with me.”  
  
  
Emily looked up at Willow and burst into overdue tears.  
  
  
“Momma,” she wailed quietly.  
  
  
Lily was still stuck in shock, her mouth open but no words coming out. Robyn and JJ both looked queasy.  
  
  
“Was it the fairies?” Emily cried, rubbing her eyes with her hand, “Did I do something wrong? Was I bad?”  
  
  
“No, Emmy…” Willow replied as her head dropped into her hands helplessly.  
  
  
Kayden looked around quickly. Tara was halfway down the road in an ambulance; the other adults were all consoling their own scared children or in Becky and Brian’s case, guiding the fire truck in.  
  
  
JJ usually took over big brother mode at this point but he seemed to be in shock. So it was Kayden’s turn to step up.  
  
  
“No Emily. It’s not your fault.”  
  
  
Emily looked up with glassy eyes and sought reassurance.  
  
  
“Was it an evil fairy?”  
  
  
Kayden shook his head.  
  
  
“I don’t think so, Em. It wasn’t anybody’s fault.”  
  
  
Emily looked away and Kayden felt like he’d failed.  
  
  
“And the fairies, they helped us all get out,” he suggested with a quick nod.  
  
  
Emily looked back at him slowly.  
  
  
“They did?”  
  
  
Kayden nodded.  
  
  
“Yeah, they told Woofy to wake us and helped Aurey find him when he got lost.”  
  
  
“Really?” Emily asked, her tears drying up.  
  
  
“Of course,” Kayden replied as if it was obvious, “Dogs and fairies can speak to each other.”  
  
  
Emily looked over at Woofy, who was licking Robyn’s face. She smiled as if there wasn’t still a burning building crumbling into nothingness behind her.  
  
  
The fire brigade got there and instructed them all to move away so Willow quickly organized who was going to bring JJ, Robyn, and Lily to the hospital while she rode in with Emily and Kayden on the second ambulance. But then Lily found her voice and flat out refused to be separated from Emily so she came with them too.  
  
  
“Let your brother sit down,” Willow instructed as she moved Lily from the collapsible seat over to the gurney with Emily.  
  
  
Willow had to stand at the back and hold onto some spine boards to stay steady. The paramedic looked over everyone but didn’t seem too concerned.  
  
  
“This will need an x-ray,” he said, nodding at Kayden’s arm, “But there’s no symptoms of dangerous smoke inhalation. What about you? How long were you in there?”  
  
  
“I had to go back in,” Willow swallowed, her voice trembling, “But I feel fine. My hands just sting a little.”  
  
  
The paramedic indicated for her to turn them over. She did.  
  
  
Even Willow was shocked by how bad they looked. Raw and cut up and singed red and black. Deep blisters forming.  
  
  
They didn’t even hurt.  
  
  
Kayden’s face scrunched when he saw her and he physically blocked her from Lily or Emily’s view.  
  
  
Willow swallowed and turned them back over while the paramedic wrapped them up in gauze.  
  
  
Lily giggled when she saw them.  
  
  
“You have lobster hands, Momma!”  
  
  
“Yeah, kiddo,” Willow smiled weakly, “How’s everyone doing?”  
  
  
“That was scary,” Emily said quietly and Lily agreed with a heavy nod.  
  
  
“It was very scary,” Willow replied, swallowing again.  
  
  
“Is Mommy going to be okay?” Lily asked with an anxious twist in her voice.  
  
  
Willow just nodded and the girls started to yawn, their disruption of sleep starting to catch up with them. They ended up curled up together on the gurney and the paramedic was kind enough to lift them into a shared wheelchair which he pushed into the ER when it was apparent neither Willow nor Kayden could.  
  
  
They were all brought right in and the girls were transferred to a bed together. Thankfully, as a regional ER, it wasn’t all that busy and there was a three-bed room free for them all to wait in. Willow used her lobster hands to pull back all of the curtains so it was open for them all.  
  
  
She stopped in front of Kayden’s bed and put her gauze claws on Kayden’s cheeks.  
  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
  
Kayden looked down, then up again and nodded.  
  
  
“You were very brave,” Willow said gently and Kayden’s eyes filled up with tears.  
  
  
“I-If it wasn’t for me…”  
  
  
Willow tilted his head up and looked into his eyes softly.  
  
  
“If it wasn’t for you, we never would have known that our family wasn’t complete yet.”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes spilled with tears and Willow held him to her chest.  
  
  
She was starting to feel the pain in her hands now but hid it well.  
  
  
“Is Mom here?” Kayden asked meekly.  
  
  
Willow looked over her shoulder as if Tara might just appear. She gulped.  
  
  
“I think so. I’ll go—”  
  
  
Just then a woman in a lab coat came in and looked between Kayden and Willow and then the sleeping girls quickly.  
  
  
“Okay. I’m Dr. Garcia. Let’s get you all seen to.”  
  
  
Willow started walking toward the door.  
  
  
“I just need to go find my—”  
  
  
“Oh, no, ma’am you need to stay right here,” the doctor replied with a resolute shake of her head, “I need to tend to those burns and get you hooked up to an IV right away.”  
  
  
Willow reluctantly let herself be led back to the middle bed.  
  
  
“My son hurt his arm and my daughter has asthma,” she said quietly.  
  
  
The doctor nodded toward each of the other beds.  
  
  
“I’ll check them over right away.”  
  
  
“Do you know if my wife came in?” Willow asked, trying to keep the tremble of fear out of her voice for Kayden’s sake, “We were all in the fire but she was in it the longest, and she got knocked out.”  
  
  
Dr. Garcia had Willow lie back so she could put a line in.  
  
  
“I haven’t seen her. She may have been taken straight up to the burns unit.”  
  
  
Willow closed her eyes.  
  
  
“Heart rate’s going up,” Dr. Garcia muttered to herself as she placed the pulse oximeter on Willow’s finger.  
  
  
“I’m just worried about my family, okay?” Willow replied and tensed her jaw as new pain throbbed in her hands.  
  
  
The doctor nodded understandingly.  
  
  
“I’m going to get some pain meds for you and your son and I’ll be back to check you all over, make sure you haven’t inhaled any dangerous amounts of smoke.”  
  
  
She went out again and returned with an emesis basin. An orderly pushing a wheelchair accompanied her. She left the dish on the table between Willow and Kayden’s bed and handed Kayden two pills and then a plastic cup of water for him to swallow them.  
  
  
“Mr. Jackson here is going to take you to x-ray,” she said with a smile as the orderly came over with the chair.  
  
  
Kayden looked apprehensive.  
  
  
“It’s okay,” Willow reassured, “It only takes a second and doesn’t hurt a bit.”  
  
  
Kayden nodded slowly. He knew that; it wasn’t his first trip to the ER. But it was the first one where he wasn’t afraid to go home after.  
  
  
The orderly brought him away while the doctor pushed a syringe into Willow’s IV to deliver her some pain medication.  
  
  
“Rate your pain from 1 to 10?”  
  
  
“Six,” Willow answered, swallowing to keep some moisture in her mouth, “But I got shot through the heart once so I have a pretty high threshold.”  
  
  
Dr. Garcia arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Literally or figuratively?”  
  
  
“Literally,” Willow nodded as she held her palms out to be looked at, “Though technically it missed the heart by a few millimeters.”  
  
  
“I should think so,” Dr. Garcia replied, shaking her head, “You’ve got some nice second-degree burns here. Any medical conditions I should know about? Any other parts of your body shot up?”  
  
  
Willow shook her head.  
  
  
“Okay, then,” Dr. Garcia replied evenly, “I’m going to redress these and then have a little look at your chest. Those pain meds should be kicking in.”  
  
  
Willow nodded slowly.  
  
  
“Yes. Pain easing…so sleepy.”  
  
  
Dr. Garcia lay Willow down.  
  
  
“Just let me make sure you haven’t inhaled too much smoke. Any coughing or shortness of breath? Tightness, headache?”  
  
  
Willow blinked heavily and shook her head.  
  
  
“No, I feel fine.”  
  
  
The doctor checked Willow’s eyes, nose, and throat and listened to her chest. She nodded in satisfaction.  
  
  
“Your hands will take a few weeks to heal but they should recover with limited damage. I hope you have someone to be your hands until then.”  
  
  
Willow was suddenly very awake.  
  
  
“Tara!”  
  
  
“Your wife?” Dr. Garcia guessed and Willow nodded, worried, “I’ll see if I can get a status update once I’m done here.”  
  
  
She put her stethoscope back around her neck.  
  
  
“I need to wake your little girls again and check them over. Especially the one with asthma. Was she given her inhaler at the scene?”  
  
  
Willow shook her head helplessly.  
  
  
“No, all our stuff…”  
  
  
The doctor nodded sympathetically.  
  
  
“Of course. But nothing in the ambulance?”  
  
  
Willow looked ashen.  
  
  
“They said she was okay. I-I didn’t…I didn’t think…”  
  
  
The doctor stepped back so Willow could go to them.  
  
  
Willow instinctively went to touch them and had to pull back awkwardly.  
  
  
“Lily, Emily,” she called gently, “We’re in the hospital. The nice doctor lady here is going to make sure you’re both okay. Wake up, good girls.”  
  
  
As they roused, Kayden was wheeled back into the room. His arm was in a sling now.  
  
  
Willow came over and again went to hold his face, but couldn’t.  
  
  
“My poor boy,” she sympathized instead.  
  
  
“It doesn’t even hurt that bad since I took the painkillers,” Kayden shrugged softly and looked down to hide blushing cheeks at the attention.  
  
  
Dr. Garcia caught Willow’s eye and brought her to the corner.  
  
  
“I’m going to put her on a nebulizer to be safe. We don’t take any chances with kids.”  
  
  
Willow’s mouth hung open in surprise and her eyes cast furtively toward Emily, who was playing Pattycake with Lily. They were both sleepy but seemed fine.  
  
  
“Is she—”  
  
  
“Has no signs of distress,” Dr. Garcia reassured, “But her oxygenation isn’t where I’d like it to be. I just want to exercise caution.”  
  
  
Willow just nodded quickly.  
  
  
“Of course.”  
  
  
“Has she used one before?” Dr. Garcia questioned.  
  
  
Willow held one hand up but saw her bandages and dropped it again, feeling silly.  
  
  
“Not since she was tiny. They were premature, they spent some time in the NICU. Emily was on a ventilator.”  
  
  
Dr. Garcia nodded quickly.  
  
  
“I’ll be right back.”  
  
  
Willow took a second to compose herself, then went to perch on the edge of the bed the twins were sitting on.  
  
  
“Em, the doctor’s going to come back with a little machine. It’s just going to make sure your lungs are nice and clean. It won’t hurt a bit, I promise.”  
  
  
Dr. Garcia came back with the nebulizer and showed it to Emily, who eyed it hesitantly.  
  
  
“Sometimes the mask can seem scary,” Dr. Garcia said, holding it against her own mouth, “But it’s just plastic, see?”  
  
  
She cleaned it with an alcohol wipe and let Emily have a good look at it as she adjusted the bed so Emily would sit upright.  
  
  
Willow dropped a kiss on top of Emily’s head.  
  
  
“Momma’s here, baby.”  
  
  
Kayden wheeled himself over with one hand.  
  
  
“I’m here too, Emily.”  
  
  
“Me too!” Lily said, patting herself in the chest with both hands, “See, I’m right here, right beside you like we’re those twins who are stuck together!”  
  
  
“Siamese,” Kayden supplied.  
  
  
“Yeah, salamis!” Lily exclaimed eagerly, “We’re salami twins!”  
  
  
She put her hand in Emily’s and held on tight. Emily looked between all of them and then at the doctor as the mask was placed over her mouth.  
  
  
“Take slow, deep breaths,” Dr. Garcia encouraged, “Good girl.”  
  
  
“You’re so brave sweetheart,” Willow said softly, doing her best to physically comfort Emily with her body while her hands were out of action.  
  
  
“You look cool, Emmy, like a soupy diver!” Lily said keenly, “Like you’re gonna go ‘splore all the oceans and find lotsa fish, even the super scary ones that live at the bottom and are all slimy and ugly and…”  
  
  
Sometimes that chatter had Willow begging for reprieve but right then she was happy that Lily always seemed to know exactly what Emily needed to not feel scared. It had been that way since before they could even speak when they put Lily in with Emily while trying to get her off the ventilator. After that, they would put Lily in bed with Emily when she wouldn’t settle and she calmed each and every time.  
  
  
As Emily went through her treatment with slow, even breaths that Willow silently guided her in by sitting behind her and doing them too, the doctor retrieved Kayden’s x-rays and put them under the viewer.  
  
  
“That’s a clean break you’ve got there, mister.”  
  
  
Willow glanced up furtively.  
  
  
“He plays guitar…”  
  
  
Kayden seemed surprised by Willow’s concern and frowned at himself.  
  
  
“And he will again,” Dr. Garcia said, whipping the x-rays down again, “In six weeks when his cast comes off. I’ll get Reggie to take him down.”  
  
  
She hurried off again and Willow envied whatever put that pep in her step.  
  
  
“Do you want me to come with you?” Willow asked Kayden softly.  
  
  
Kayden did, honestly, but he didn’t _need_ her too. Not like Emily needed her right now.  
  
  
“No,” he shook his head softly, “It’s just a cast. I’ve had one before.”  
  
  
Willow’s eyes grew pained. There was a lot of Kayden’s past she’d asked Tara not to tell her. Now she felt like to wanted to know it all, needed to know it all, just like she did the medical history of all of her children.  
  
  
“We love you, Kayden.”  
  
  
Kayden’s mouth open but it got stuck there.  
  
  
The orderly from earlier returned and Kayden blinked at him slowly, remembering the doctor’s words.  
  
  
“Is your name really Reggie Jackson?”  
  
  
“JJ LOVES Reggie Jackson,” Lily briefly dropped her talk of bottom feeders to interject that fact, then returned to an imitation of a sea cucumber as if she never had stopped at all.  
  
  
The orderly was an older gentleman and clicked his tongue as he fixed his hands around the arms of Kayden’s wheelchair.  
  
  
“Now, I’ll tell you, I’ve been RJ many more decades than Mr. NBA Superstar,” he said in a low, earthy drawl, “I earned my own name, don’t you think?”  
  
  
Willow fell back into a breathing pattern with Emily and before long Dr. Garcia came back to finish off Emily’s treatment. She had to cough up all of her secretions into a tissue and Willow wished she could rub her daughter’s back.  
  
  
But then Lily was doing it without needing to be asked and Willow couldn’t have been prouder.  
  
  
“I love you girls so much. You’re both being so brave.”  
  
  
“Where’s Mommy?” Lily asked and started to look weary again now that Emily was OK again.  
  
  
“Um…” Willow started but before she could say anything else, the door to the room opened and Robyn and JJ were standing there, looking utterly forlorn.  
  
  
“Jake, Robbie,” Willow gasped and strode over to them.  
  
  
“Aunt Becky brought us,” JJ explained as Willow put her arms around both of them, which was difficult given the height difference.  
  
  
JJ looked startled at Willow’s bandages.  
  
  
“Momma, your hands.”  
  
  
“They’ll heal,” Willow reassured calmly.  
  
  
JJ’s eyes were sunken and skittish as he looked around the room.  
  
  
“Where’s Mom? Where’s Kayden?”  
  
  
“Kayden is getting a cast put on,” Willow said, keeping that nice low tone.  
  
  
“He’s with Reggie Jackson,” Lily added helpfully.  
  
  
JJ’s eyes squinted.  
  
  
“What?”  
  
  
“The orderly,” Willow explained quickly.  
  
  
“What’s wrong with him?” Robyn asked, her bottom lip quivering in the most vulnerable display of emotion she’d exhibited in years.  
  
  
“He broke his arm,” Willow explained and both Robyn and JJ looked stricken, “It will heal. We will all heal, okay? Everybody is okay.”  
  
  
JJ suddenly looked around desperately.  
  
  
“Wait…where’s Mom?”  
  
  
“Where’s Mom?!” Robyn added immediately through a gasping breath.  
  
  
“The doctors are treating her,” Willow said, finding it in her to keep the calm despite wanting to know the answer to their question just as much, “You two need to get the once-over too. Come sit down.”  
  
  
She brought them over to the other beds and a nurse came in to do vitals and take blood before the doctor, who seemed to be their personal concierge at this point, checked both of them thoroughly and came back to Willow as she swung her stethoscope back around her neck.  
  
  
“Any more children to come out of the woodwork?” she asked with a smile and appreciated that Willow tried to smile back, “Everybody is fine. You’re all very lucky.”  
  
  
Willow exhaled slowly in relief.  
  
  
“You’ve been so kind and helpful and I hate to—”  
  
  
Dr. Garcia put her hand on Willow’s upper arm.  
  
  
“I’ll go find out what I can about your wife.”  
  
  
Willow almost burst into tears from the kindness.  
  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
  
She slunk back to the kids and checked over Robyn and JJ herself just to be sure. Neither of them would look at her.  
  
  
Kayden was wheeled back in with a fresh cast on his arm and on his heels, Dr. Garcia returned and took Willow aside.  
  
  
“Your wife was not brought to the burns unit. Her burns are superficial,” she said with her own little relieved puff of breath, “She’s cut and bruised. She’s in CT right now to see if her ribs are bruised or broken but she’s going to be okay with time and rest.”  
  
  
Willow’s bandaged hands flapped about as she tried and failed to clutch her heart.  
  
  
“Can I see her? Is she awake?”  
  
  
Dr. Garcia nodded quickly.  
  
  
“The pain medication has her in and out but I’ll come to find you when she’s back.”  
  
  
She left and Willow stood in the middle of the room to reassure all of the kids that Tara would be okay. Just as she was starting to settle everyone down, the door opened again and a new bed was wheeled in.  
  
  
Tara was lying in it, asleep with cuts on her chin and cheeks, bruising on her neck, and soot across her forehead.  
  
  
“Tara,” Willow gasped.  
  
  
“Mom,” JJ jumped up and Robyn scrambled to follow him while Kayden shot out of the wheelchair.  
  
  
“Ah, ah, ah,” Dr. Garcia said from behind the orderly pushing Tara in, “I’m letting her come in here because I’m trusting you all to follow instructions.”  
  
  
She stood importantly in front of everybody as the beds in the room were moved closer together to accommodate the fourth.  
  
  
“She has a lot of bruising and she needs a lot of rest. You can all stay since at least three of you need ongoing attention and it’s a three-bed room but no touching or climbing or anything like that, capiche?  
  
  
“Understood,” Willow replied solemnly, “Thank you so much.”  
  
  
Everyone naturally gravitated toward Tara and stood around her bed, just staring.  
  
  
“Momma?” Emily whispered quietly.  
  
  
“Yeah?” Willow replied, just as quiet.  
  
  
Emily looked down and stuffed her hand into the pocket of her footy pajamas.  
  
  
“I kept some of the dust the fairies left in my pocket,” she looked up at Willow earnestly, “Should I sprinkle it on Mommy?”  
  
  
Willow swallowed.  
  
  
“Sure, honey. Go ahead. Just don’t touch mommy, okay?”  
  
  
Emily pulled her fist out of her pocket but she didn’t have the height to reach over Tara’s body, so JJ lifted her and she sprinkled the tiny bit of glitter Tara had left on the windowsill as proof of the fairies visit.  
  
  
Almost immediately, Tara twitched.  
  
  
“It’s working!” Emily said in delight, “The fairy dust is working! The fairies still like us! They’re waking Mommy up!”  
  
  
Willow felt her heart speed up.  
  
  
“Don’t touch, remember. Mommy’s got lots of big owies.”  
  
  
Everyone held their breath as Tara’s eyes started to sluggishly open.  
  
  
“Hey, Tara,” Willow greeted softly, going back to her calm tone, “Everyone is here.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes darted in alarm  
  
  
“No, no, everything is okay,” Willow reassured quickly, “You’re okay, we’re all okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”  
  
  
She put her arm gently over Tara’s waist. She met Tara’s eye and though it was clouded, she knew they connected so she poured all of her reassurance into that look.  
  
  
“Don’t try and move. You’re all busted up. Nothing some time and rest won’t cure. Sleep, baby. We’re all here for the night. Everyone is okay. Everyone is okay.”  
  
  
Tara drifted back off to sleep and Willow took in a long, slow breath.  
  
  
“Everyone needs some more sleep,” she announced, “Lil, Em, come on. You can share the bed again.”  
  
  
She got them settled as best she could without hands and moved onto the next bed.  
  
  
“Kayden, sweetie. You need to keep that arm safe. Come sleep here.”  
  
  
Kayden looked between all of them.  
  
  
“Um, there’s not enough beds.”  
  
  
“I’m taking a chair bro,” JJ said gruffly, “I’m not hurt. Take the bed, man.”  
  
  
“Kayden, honey, we’re all tired, can you please take the bed?” Willow asked, her tiredness starting to come out in her voice.  
  
  
Kayden lay down on the bed and using his good hand to pull the blanket around himself.  
  
  
“Look at us, one hand and none,” Willow smiled tenderly and kissed his forehead.  
  
  
She moved to the last bed.  
  
  
“Okay, Robbie, up you get.”  
  
  
Robyn was a stark white color.  
  
  
“No, Momma, I can’t.”  
  
  
Willow frowned.  
  
  
“What do you mean you can’t?”  
  
  
Robyn’s breath caught.  
  
  
“I just want to sleep on the chair okay? You sleep in the bed.”   
  
  
“Robyn, don’t be silly,” Willow said and folded her arms by her hips, “I am your mother. You’re sleeping in the bed.”  
  
  
Robyn swallowed nervously. She got onto the bed and tucked herself up tight.  
  
  
“I’m little, see? You can fit too.”  
  
  
Willow assessed the bed.  
  
  
“Well, if I can fit, JJ can fit.”  
  
  
“Naw, maw,” JJ shook his head quickly, “You made me eat all my vegetables. I’m a big, strong boy. Won’t fit.”  
  
  
He sat down in the none-too-comfortable hospital chair and kicked his legs up on Lily and Emily’s bed.  
  
  
“I’m good.”  
  
  
“It’d be really cool if everyone shut up so we can sleep,” a voice piped up.  
  
  
“Robyn,” Willow automatically chastised.  
  
  
“It wasn’t me,” Robyn whispered.  
  
  
Willow looked over her shoulder.  
  
  
“Lily,” she said in the same tone and sighed, “Okay. Let’s get some sleep everyone.”  
  
  
She gently got herself onto the bed with Robyn, keeping her arms straight down so her hands were safely over her torso.  
  
  
“JJ, can you…?”  
  
  
JJ flicked the light off and as the sun started to rise outside the hospital, inside the Rosenberg-Maclay family got some much-needed rest.  
  


* * *

  
Willow woke first, or rather she was woken to have her bandages changed.  
  
  
The nurse was kind, and quiet to allow the others to keep sleeping. They had the rare privilege of having a ‘suite’ to themselves and they could all use the last few precious minutes of sleep before they’d have to wake and be checked over again before discharge.  
  
  
As the nurse carefully redid Willow’s bandages, she started to wonder how they were going to manage. Willow wasn’t going to be able to drive and Tara wouldn’t for a while either, even if her ribs were only bruised and not broken.  
  
  
JJ would have to get them home.  
  
  
And home…who was going to cook and clean?  
  
  
And suddenly all of that seemed trivial as Willow felt a morning call of nature and she realized she wasn’t even going to be able to do that by herself. She looked at the nurse, stricken.  
  
  
“H-How do I go to the bathroom with these things?”  
  
  
The nurse turned Willow’s hand gently.  
  
  
“When you’re discharged, the bandages you’ll have on will give you some freedom to move your fingers. These parts up here that aren’t burned. You should have enough dexterity to wipe. You’ll want to wear skirts and dresses. I hope you’re visiting from somewhere warm.”  
  
  
Willow frowned, glum.  
  
  
“Buffalo.”  
  
  
The nurse looked sympathetic.  
  
  
“Um, what about now? While I’m bandaged up like this?” Willow asked with a light blush.  
  
  
The nurse smiled kindly.  
  
  
“I can assist you.”  
  
  
Willow nodded slowly.  
  
  
“Well, I’d definitely rather you than one of my children.”  
  
  
Willow carefully stood so as not to wake Robyn and walked with the nurse across the floor to the bathroom. She did what needed to be done with appropriate assistance and thanked the nurse.  
  
  
“Do you think I could get some more painkillers? I’m starting to feel the throbbing again.”  
  
  
The nurse brought Willow straight to the station to have the pain relief authorized and used a syringe to send it straight into Willow’s veins.  
  
  
Just before she wandered back to the room, Dr. Garcia passed her.  
  
  
“I’m going off shift but I’ve recommended discharge for all of your children. You can go too once we’ve given you instructions on how to care for your burns.”  
  
  
“What about my wife?” Willow asked with concern.  
  
  
“Once she’s been signed off by the neuro team, she can go too. But she won’t be up for much for a while,” Dr. Garcia advised, “Those ribs are nicely bruised.”  
  
  
Willow nodded.  
  
  
“I’ll take care of her…somehow. You’ve been really kind. Thank you.”  
  
  
Dr. Garcia nodded tiredly. It was always nice to hear that at the end of a long shift.  
  
  
Willow went back to the room and the kids had all woken up, but just. Emily was still rubbing her eyes. Willow flicked on the light and it flickered annoyingly. Kayden used his cast to shield his eyes.  
  
  
“Sorry, guys,” Willow apologized, “But it’s time to get up anyway. The doctor says we can all go soon. How’s everyone feeling?”  
  
  
JJ stood up and stretched his back out with a groan. Robyn rolled over and went back to sleep and the twins both sat up bright and bushy-tailed like they’d had a full night’s sleep.  
  
  
A nurse came around to do the last round of vitals and Willow noticed Tara starting to wake during hers. She came and sat next to Tara’s bed and rested her bandage claw over her wife’s arm.  
  
  
Tara’s hand twitched and then automatically bent at the elbow and reached up to caress Willow’s arm.  
  
  
“Hi, baby,” Willow said softly, “We’re still in the hospital. Everybody is still okay. We can all go home soon.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes flicked open heavily and it took a moment for them to adjust to the bright lights and white walls.  
  
  
Willow’s words registered and she tried to sit up sharply. She fell back down against the bed with a moan of pain.  
  
  
JJ stepped forward in alarm but Willow put a hand up and glanced at him to say it was okay.  
  
  
“No, baby,” Willow soothed softly, “You’ve bruised your ribs up pretty bad. Nice easy breaths and slow movements.”  
  
  
Tara took in some soft breaths and opened her eyes again. Willow was smiling at her.  
  
  
“Everyone is okay.”  
  
  
Tara swallowed and coughed, wincing again.  
  
  
“Kayden…”  
  
  
“I-I’m here,” Kayden’s voice piped up from his bed, “Mom.”  
  
  
“Broke his arm but now he just has a cool cast to get signed by all the, uh,” Willow added and shook her head, “Anyway, you’re okay right honey?”  
  
  
“I’m totally fine,” Kayden confirmed.  
  
  
“Can I hear a chorus of ‘fines’ here please?” Willow requested.  
  
  
Everyone called off that they were fine and Tara’s shoulders gently slumped with relief. She felt around for Willow’s hand but frowned when she couldn’t find fingers.  
  
  
She looked over and after blinking to let her eyes focus, saw what Willow’s hands were encased in. Her eyes shot up to find Willow’s.  
  
  
“Like my new look?” Willow joked with a soft smile, “They just got a little burned on the stairs. Doc says they’ll heal right up and I only have to wear these things until we leave the hospital. Which will be today! The kids can leave now and we’ll be able to leave in a few hours.”  
  
  
Tara’s eyes were pained and she reached out weakly to take Willow’s claw tenderly between her hands.  
  
  
Willow leaned in and kissed Tara’s dry lips.  
  
  
“Everything is okay,” she breathed into Tara’s mouth and kissed the corner.  
  
  
As she pulled away to smile reassuringly at Tara, she saw the door opening from her peripherals. When she looked over, she spotted Xander walking in with tired eyes but an ever-present smile on his face.  
  
  
“Hey. How’s everyone doing in here? Wanted to check in before my ride gets here.”  
  
  
In one fell stride, Willow pushed back her chair, stood up, and all but ran at Xander, throwing herself around him as she tried to hold on to his back with her claws. She kissed Xander’s cheek three times in quick succession before her weak grip made her plant her feet back firmly on the ground.  
  
  
She held Xander’s face and looked as deeply into his eye as she’d only ever looked at Tara before.  
  
  
“Thank. You.”  
  
  
Xander swallowed deeply and wrapped his arms around Willow. When they pulled away, Willow swiped at her eyes with her bandages and returned to Tara, whose brow was creased in confusion.  
  
  
“Xander saved you,” Willow explained, her eyes filling with fresh tears but a smile staying prominent on her face, “You were knocked out and I ran back in but I couldn’t get you out from under the piece of wood that had fallen on you. He ran in after me and lifted it off you so we could carry you out.”  
  
  
Tara’s head turned toward Xander and her eyes filled as well.  
  
  
“Thank you,” she said in an echoing tone, her voice raw from the ordeal and it being her first chance to speak properly, “Are you hurt?”  
  
  
Xander held up his index finger.  
  
  
“One splinter,” he said with a grin, “Hurt myself more sitting in one of those little plastic chairs waiting to be seen.”  
  
  
There was a sudden pained sob from somewhere in the room and it took everybody a moment to realize it was JJ because he was trying to hide it.  
  
  
“JJ…” Tara said with concern, sitting up and suppressing her pain.  
  
  
“Hey man,” Xander clapped an arm around JJ’s shoulders, “We all know you would have gone in there to save your mom if we’d let you.”  
  
  
JJ rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hand.  
  
  
“It’s all my fault!”  
  
  
“No, honey…” Tara started to reply.  
  
  
“Yes!” JJ cut her off, “I knocked over the grill!”  
  
  
Everyone paused for a moment.  
  
  
“What?” Willow asked.  
  
  
JJ wiped the corner of his eye with his sleeve.  
  
  
“The signal inside the house was so bad,” he said, shame-faced, “So I sneaked out when you guys were cleaning up to call Cleo but by the time I got back the house was all dark. I couldn’t see anything and I knocked into the grill and it was still warm!”  
  
  
He looked away.  
  
  
“I was just going to blame a raccoon or something but the coals must have started the fire! It’s all my fault!”  
  
  
“No, it’s not!” Robyn suddenly blurted and buried her face into her hands as she sat on top of her bed, “It’s my fault! I just wanted to try one of my Tofurkey dogs that nobody would cook so I came downstairs when I thought everyone was asleep to microwave one. But then I heard a crash so I ran back up to my room and I left the microwave on! It’s me, it was all me.”  
  
  
Willow stood up.  
  
  
“Stop it, both of you,” she instructed, holding a claw out toward JJ, “You. You didn’t start the fire. That grill was on the other side of the yard. At worst, you singed some grass.”  
  
  
JJ seemed shocked and was completely still.  
  
  
“And you,” Willow pointed her other claw at her daughter, “Robyn, that microwave was flakier than a tub of nutritional yeast.”  
  
  
Robyn smiled softly at the reference as Willow continued.  
  
  
“It wouldn’t stay on for more than 30 seconds any time I tried the whole weekend. There’s no way you turbo-nuked your tofu dog into burning the house down. We would have smelled it before we noticed any smoke.”  
  
  
Robyn and JJ both closed their eyes with relief.  
  
  
“I-It was me.”  
  
  
Willow spun around at her wife’s voice.  
  
  
“Tara?”  
  
  
Tara blinked up at Willow.  
  
  
“I set a fire. And I forgot to put the spark guard up when I went to bed.”  
  
  
Willow slowly sank back into her chair. Even paler than before, she looked up at Xander.  
  
  
“Xander, are you heading back? Can you get someone to drive our minivan in to collect the kids?”  
  
  
Xander nodded.  
  
  
“Of course.”  
  
  
“Kids, give your Uncle Xander a hug,” Willow instructed and they were all quite happy to swarm him with hugs.  
  
  
There were lots of ‘thanks Uncle Xander!’ and ‘we love you Uncle Xander!’ as Xander basked in some well-deserved love and Willow and Tara looked at each other, fraught.  
  
  
Outside, Jesse pulled in his SUV and turned off the ignition. His head turned and fell back onto the headrest. He smiled languidly at the person in the passenger seat.  
  
  
“Somehow after the night we’ve all had, you still look beautiful.”  
  
  
Alice’s cheeks tinged pink and she glanced away.  
  
  
“I’m no Margot Robbie.”  
  
  
“Wouldn’t want you to be,” Jesse drawled easily, “Margot Robbie isn’t the mother of my child.”  
  
  
Alice slowly looked back up, her brow creased.  
  
  
“What are we doing, Jess?” she asked in a shaken tone, “This back and forth? I was enjoying it, getting close to you again but I don’t know where I stand. And maybe I don’t deserve—”  
  
  
Suddenly Alice was cut off as Jesse leaned across the car and pressed his lips to her.  
  
  
Electricity buzzed between them; both of them feeling a crackle as Jesse pulled away again.  
  
  
“All I know is that when I was watching that house burn down, it was you and Ella I wanted to know was safe.”  
  
  
Alice blinked several times and slowly smiled.  
  
  
“Why does it always take someone we love going into the hospital to get our act together?”  
  
  
“Let’s keep it together this time,” Jesse suggested with an affectionate crease of his eyes.  
  
  
Alice reached across to grip Jesse’s arm.  
  
  
“Move back home. I know it’s quick but—”  
  
  
“No,” Jesse replied easily, and for a moment, Alice was crushed, “I want somewhere new. A fresh start. Somewhere you can throw a housewarming party with wine and cheese and a basement where I can have a man cave hidden away and you won’t ever have to clean up empty beer bottles.”  
  
  
Alice’s grin almost broke off of her face.  
  
  
“Screw the wine and cheese. Pop me a tab on a Bud light and put the game on.”  
  
  
“No can do,” Jesse shook his head with the same grin, “No woman of mine can have that awful a taste in beer.”  
  
  
They came together again in numerous kisses with laughter breaking out between them.  
  
  
Then there was a knock on the window and Xander stumbled back, startled as he saw what was going on inside.  
  
  
“Whoa there,” he said as Jesse opened the door and jumped out, “Am I interrupting?”  
  
  
“My man,” Jesse said, swinging his arm to pat Xander’s back and bring him in for a hug.  
  
  
“Xander,” Alice said, stepping out on her side and looking out over the car, “Anya has been beside herself. We said we’d watch the kids so she could come in but they were scared, they needed their mom.”  
  
  
Xander smiled wearily.  
  
  
“I could use their mom right about now too.”  
  
  
Jesse slapped Xander’s back again.  
  
  
“Let’s get you back there, buddy.”  
  
  
“Hero,” Alice called with a twinkling smile.  
  
  
Back in the hospital room, Willow and Tara were trying to figure out who could do what tasks to get the kids ready to leave. Tara had to do everything that needed a signature and Willow had to bring the kids out to be collected by Becky. Willow then returned to Tara, who was quietly crying.  
  
  
“Darling,” Willow said softly as she quickly came over to sit next to her wife, “You weren’t the only one there. I didn’t put the guard up either.”  
  
  
Tara wiped her eyes on the corner of her gown and Willow wished she could be the one to do it.  
  
  
“They’re going to sue us, Willow,” Tara cried softly, “That could bankrupt us!”  
  
  
“Ssh,” Willow comforted gently, “It doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is everyone is okay.”  
  
  
She rubbed her claw on Tara’s arm.  
  
  
“What have we learned in therapy?” she asked and made sure Tara had her gaze, “We can’t worry about the things we can’t control.”  
  
  
Tara closed her eyes and blinked away her tears.  
  
  
She placed hands on Willow’s claws.  
  
  
“Your poor hands,” she said with a gulping echo, “You ran back for me?”  
  
  
Willow leaned her head in close to Tara’s; resting their foreheads together.  
  
  
“Of course I did, Tara.”  
  
  
Tara exhaled softly and then they inhaled together.  
  
  
Just breathing.  
  
  
A new nurse then had helped Willow earlier came into the room and asked Willow to sit on a bed for vitals.  
  
  
“Who will be tending to the bandages going forward?”  
  
  
“Me, of course,” Tara replied without hesitation.  
  
  
“Baby, you’re pretty busted up,” Willow said with a frown.  
  
  
“I can do it,” Tara insisted, “I don’t need to use my ribs for that.”  
  
  
“Baby…” Willow replied, touched but also concerned.  
  
  
“It only hurts to breathe,” Tara said softly, “But I always breathe easier with you.”  
  
  
Her breath caught.  
  
  
“Without you, I wouldn’t breathe at all.”  
  
  
Tears filled her eyes but she fought hard to stop them from falling so she could prove she was up for the job. Very slowly she got out of bed and used her IV pole for leverage to walk over and learn how to wrap Willow’s hands.  
  
  
Willow went to help several times but Tara was insistent that she was okay. She felt bruised from the inside out but Willow had literally run through fire for her, so this was the least she could do.  
  
  
The nurse unwound one of Willow’s claws and Tara took a painfully sharp breath in when she saw the angry blistering.  
  
  
“Oh, Willow,” she said softly and looked up sincerely, “I’ll be your hands.”  
  
  
Willow was in some pain but managed to smile.  
  
  
“I know.”  
  
  
She kept Tara’s gaze.  
  
  
“And I know you’ll do a good job. Because you’re already my heart. And my heart has been full since the moment I met you.”


	16. Chapter 16

Tara grabbed her old nursing pillow from when the twins were little from its spot on the couch beside her and quickly pulled it over her ribcage when she felt a sneeze coming on.  
  
  
Her first few sneezes after waking from the fire had been some of the most painful moments of her life but she got a tip before leaving the hospital about utilizing the nursing pillow as a buffer and very quickly sneezing, coughing, and even standing had become a lot more tolerable.  
  
  
From the kitchen, she heard Willow calling her name and braced herself to stand.  
  
  
“Coming, sweetheart. Don’t try to pour your own juice again!”  
  
  
Tara cautiously stood and gently walked toward the kitchen, where she could still hear Willow saying her name.  
  
  
“Willow, I’m coming!” she called, trying hard to stem any frustration as she arrived, “What is it?”  
  
  
Willow was sitting at the island with her laptop open and looked over her shoulder when Tara got there.  
  
  
“Oh, I wasn’t talking to you.”  
  
  
Tara bent her arms softly at her hips.  
  
  
“If you’ve taken another lover named Tara than your type is even more narrow than I thought.”  
  
  
Willow smiled. She gestured Tara over.  
  
  
“The voice recognition system on my laptop was driving me crazy so I developed my own.”  
  
  
She used her minimally bandage-free fingertips to press a button on her laptop. A computer-generated woman’s head popped up that looked eerily similar to Tara.  
  
  
“How may I assist you?” it asked.  
  
  
“I call it TARA,” Willow grinned, “Technological Articulation Resolution Application.”  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“I hooked it up to the virtual assistant,” Willow continued excitedly, “TARA, dim the lights.”  
  
  
The lights dimmed and Tara settled her arms across her chest.  
  
  
“You developed a system you can tell what to do and named it after me?”  
  
  
Willow nodded eagerly. She leaned in toward her wife.  
  
  
“Do you want to give me a smooch, Tara?”  
  
  
“I am an automated application,” the voice spoke from the laptop, “I am not capable of physical affection.”  
  
  
“So I’m not completely replaceable,” Tara added dryly.  
  
  
Willow hooked a finger in the air and curled it for Tara to get closer. She kissed Tara softly.  
  
  
“I didn’t mean for you to get up. How are you feeling?”  
  
  
“I’m getting used to the pain,” Tara replied evenly, “Learning how to take easier breaths. It’s helping with the panic that starts to rise anytime I think of the crapstorm that’s heading our way.”  
  
  
“I know,” Willow breathed softly and reached over to brush the backs of her fingertips on Tara’s cheek, “How bad are we talking panic wise? Should you move up your therapy appointment?”  
  
  
“It’s not that bad,” Tara reassured, “And we’d have to pay a rescheduling fee. We can’t be throwing away money right now.”  
  
  
“I know that Tara but your health is more important,” Willow replied insistently.  
  
  
“I know,” Tara replied softly, “I know it took way too long for me to get that, but I do now. I promise I’ll speak up if I need help.”  
  
  
“My health barometer is at full capacity,” the laptop spoke, “I have a full battery and am free of viruses.”  
  
  
Both Willow and Tara looked at each other and burst out laughing.  
  
  
“Oh, no,” Tara wheezed as she clutched her ribs, “Laughter not good.”  
  
  
“Oh, baby,” Willow replied sympathetically, “Let’s get you back on the couch.”  
  
  
Willow helped Tara back into her chair, though her help was mostly just following her inside. She used the back of her arm to inch Tara’s pillow closer to her and her mouth to pull Tara’s blanket over her.  
  
  
“Oh, honey,” Tara said tenderly, “Thank you.”  
  
  
She smiled as Willow settled beside her.  
  
  
“Both of us home from work in the middle of the day and we can’t even fool around.”  
  
  
Willow smirked lasciviously.  
  
  
“I mean technically I don’t have to use my hands…”  
  
  
Tara ducked her head and looked back at Willow.  
  
  
“That’s a very alluring offer but you drive me too wild. My body can’t take it.”  
  
  
Willow sighed deeply.  
  
  
“Foiled by my own damn sexiness yet again.”  
  
  
They laughed together and the same kind of smile settled on their faces.  
  
  
“Can you even remember the last time we had whole hours to ourselves?” Willow asked wryly.  
  
  
Willow watched Tara stare off into space and grew a little concerned.  
  
  
“Tara?”  
  
  
Tara’s head swung toward Willow.  
  
  
“Sorry, I was trying to remember.”  
  
  
Willow giggled.  
  
  
“Exactly. It’s always Robyn’s soccer or JJ’s basketball or Lily’s piano or Emily’s art class or Kayden’s therapy.”  
  
  
Tara smiled, exhausted just at the thought but there was plenty of fondness mixed in there.  
  
  
“What we signed up for,” she mused thoughtfully, just as Woofy jumped up on the arm of Tara’s chair, as if he knew not to jump into her lap, “Can’t forget this little guy. I think he takes care of us more than we take care of him though.”  
  
  
She scratched behind his ears and he happily settled on the spot.  
  
  
“…he’s started calling us moms,” Willow said after a moment, then frowned, “Not Woofy. I’m not hallucinating on the pain meds.”  
  
  
Tara reached across and brushed her palm over Willow’s wrist.  
  
  
“I know who you mean,” she said softly, “I didn’t want to call attention to it.”  
  
  
Willow looked up with a speck of uncertainty in her eyes.  
  
  
“You’re cool with it right?”  
  
  
“More than ‘cool’,” Tara replied, her smile lifting on one side, “It’s the only silver lining in all of this.”  
  
  
Willow looked down at her lap.  
  
  
“You know, all of this, the fire…” she paused and slowly met Tara’s gaze, “It’s really got me thinking.”  
  
  
“I know what you’re going to say,” Tara replied quickly.  
  
  
Willow’s eyebrows lifted on her face.  
  
  
“You do?”  
  
  
“Yes,” Tara nodded, then nodded once more surely, “And…yes.”  
  
  
A slow smile spread on Willow’s face.  
  
  
“Really?”  
  
  
“Yes,” Tara smiled and nodded again, “Of course.”  
  
  
Willow got bouncy on her seat but Tara had to hold her hands out.  
  
  
“But it’s not our decision.”  
  
  
Willow sat somberly in her chair again.  
  
  
“Right.”  
  
  
She slowly cocked her head at Tara.  
  
  
“So…when do we ask him?”  
  


* * *

  
“Um scuse me can everyone listen?” Lily called politely and flashed her teeth in a happy smile.  
  
  
Her voice didn’t quite carry across the whole of the back yard and she started to bounce nervously when nobody paid attention to her.  
  
  
“Um…”  
  
  
“Listen the hell up!” Robyn yelled across their, and several yards over.  
  
  
“ROBYN!” Willow and Tara said sternly, in unison.  
  
  
Robyn just shrugged; everyone was listening now. Her methods had merits.  
  
  
The quiet chatter among the crowd — the whole gang, even Angel as well as Ira and Michelle and a select few neighbors — died down and everyone focused on Lily. Lily was standing on a storage box being used as a podium and bounced up on her toes excitedly with all eyes on her.  
  
  
“Um, today we would like to resent, I mean present, Aurey McNally with the Bravest Dog In The World award for recusing our dog Sir Woofington Rosenberg-Maclay The First from the fire.”  
  
  
“That’s not his name,” Robyn scoffed from the side.  
  
  
“Yeah, it is!” Lily threw back petulantly.  
  
  
Robyn crossed her arms on her chest.  
  
  
“ _I_ named him.”  
  
  
“You don’t even remember!” Lily shot back.  
  
  
“That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen!” Robyn returned and from the sidelines, Willow winced.  
  
  
“Emily,” Willow whispered, gesturing for her to bring the medal she had in her hands up.  
  
  
Emily placed the medal over Aurey’s head, who even ducked her head to accept it and stood proudly as it hung over her neck.  
  
  
“My girl!” Jesse hollered and threw his arm over Alice’s shoulders and threw her a wink, “My other girl.”  
  
  
Ella looked up with a pout and Jesse grinned and he stroked her hair.  
  
  
“Blessed am I amongst women.”  
  
  
Back on the podium, Lily clasped her hands together.  
  
  
“And we would like to present Sir Woof—” she paused when she saw Robyn rolled her eyes and only her mothers’ unrelenting gaze on her stopped her from sticking out her tongue, “ _Woofy_ with being the Bestest Good Boy award for waking JJ.”  
  
  
JJ placed a smaller medal over Woofy’s neck, who was pleased with any attention.  
  
  
“And finally,” Lily popped her words excitedly, “We want to present…”  
  
  
She looked down to read from her hand.  
  
  
“Alexander, um…uh…Lav…uh…Lav-uhl?…um…yeah.”  
  
  
She looked back up and flashed her teeth again.  
  
  
“Uncle Xander with the Bestest Uncle In The Whole World And Saving Mom From The Fire And Um Just Being Really Cool award.”  
  
  
“I was looking forward to being called a good boy,” Xander grinned as he kneeled to accept a medal that Kayden managed to get on him one-armed.  
  
  
“Later!” Anya shouted from the crowd.  
  
  
There was an uncomfortable chuckle around the yard.  
  
  
Lily jumped off the podium.  
  
  
“That’s all I got.”  
  
  
Everyone clapped — except Willow, who approached Xander instead for a hug.  
  
  
“It’s not personal that the dogs went first, Xand. Thanks for being a good sport.”  
  
  
“You could have sprung for the real gold,” Anya commented as she bandied the medal about, “Oh well. We can use it in our Olympic role play.”  
  
  
“Okay,” Willow smiled to conceal a groan, “I’m not on enough pain meds for this.”  
  
  
She pivoted and walked away with a rub of her arm on Xander’s arm; her primary way of expressing affection until she got her bandages off. She weaved between Robyn and Pixie running off with a soccer ball and Aurey and Woofy zooming around with the medals waving in the wind until she was stopped by two people she hadn’t seen in a while.  
  
  
“Will, Garrett!” she said warmly and did the lean-in hug she was becoming accustomed to, “You live six houses away, it might as well be six miles. I can’t keep up with your social lives.”  
  
  
“It’s a blessing and a curse,” Will said with a glint in his eyes, “But I can’t say which curse amongst polite company!”  
  
  
Garrett bumped Will’s shoulder and Willow chuckled. She spotted Kayden walking by with his plate heading for the grill that Buffy was running and nudged his hand.  
  
  
“Kayden, have you met Will and Garrett?” she asked, standing behind him and kissing the back of his head, “They just live across the street. We’re due a good catch-up. We haven’t been to yours since your Donna End-Of-Summer Soiree last year.”  
  
  
“It’s nice to meet you, Kayden,” Will offered his hand and narrowed his eyes just slightly at Kayden, “Are you in the high school?”  
  
  
Kayden nodded politely.  
  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
  
“Oh please, I only like being called sir in—” Will started, then both Willow and Garrett kicked him and he blushed, “Anyway. It’s good to meet you too, young man.”  
  
  
“Very nice to meet you,” Garrett echoed.  
  
  
Kayden looked back at Willow.  
  
  
“Can I go get more potato salad?”  
  
  
“Of course,” Willow smiled and nodded.  
  
  
Will watched Kayden go and looked down his nose at Willow.  
  
  
“You’ve acquired another one in the meantime. Are you going for a full synchronized swimming team?”  
  
  
“Something like that,” Willow replied easily.  
  
  
“He’s a nice boy,” Garrett said with a kind smile, “…you guys are the best thing for him.”  
  
  
All of their eyes averted at what was being unsaid.  
  
  
“Show me these,” Will thrust his hands out to take Willow’s arms, “A lesbian without her hands. It’s like a Greek tragedy.”  
  
  
“The doctors say I’ll get pretty much full function back,” Willow replied, twisting her hands around indicatively.  
  
  
Garrett put his hand on Willow’s upper arm.  
  
  
“Scars are so in these days.”  
  
  
“Yaas, Seal is everything,” Will agreed with a definitive nod, “I’ll take a kiss from that rose any day.”  
  
  
Willow grinned.  
  
  
“You should put that on the agenda.”  
  
  
Will and Garrett looked at each other, then back at Willow fondly.  
  
  
A while later, when everyone had a plate and had found a seat made of whatever they could perch their tush on, Willow was in the kitchen smiling at how well they’d pulled off their get-together without her hands or any kind of lifting from Tara.  
  
  
“Uh, Willow?”  
  
  
Willow lifted her mouth from the straw in her glass of Dr. Pepper with a sheepish smile.  
  
  
“Hey, Angel,” she said with a welcoming nod, “How nice to see you in the daylight.”  
  
  
“Been working less. Trying to,” Angel replied with his hands in the pockets of his slacks, “Can I speak to you?”  
  
  
“Sure,” Willow nodded, “Thinking of upgrading the wheels? Rose has some pretty good contacts if you’re interested. She took me to a Ferrari dealership a few months ago and if I wasn’t certain it would break my marriage up, I would have signed the dotted line then and there.”  
  
  
“No,” Angel shook his head, then paused, “Maybe. But later.”  
  
  
He turned his back to the door and looked over his shoulder suspiciously for a moment. As he turned back, one hand came out of his pocket and with it, a ring box. He popped the lid and held it out for Willow to see.  
  
  
Two silver rings with intricate designs sat with each other. They were newly shined.  
  
  
Willow looked up and slowly smiled.  
  
  
“Angel, I’m flattered but do you really want to take on all of my children? We come as a package deal.”  
  
  
Angel shifted uncomfortably and Willow reached out to touch the rings. She looked up at Angel with an arched eyebrow.  
  
  
“Does this mean what I think it means?”  
  
  
Angel gave a slight, almost imperceptible nod.  
  
  
“They belonged to my parents,” he explained and looked down at the rings yet again, “You’re her best friend. Do you think she’d like it? Or should I get her a real diamond?”  
  
  
Willow put her arm on Angel’s arm, which made him bristle uncomfortably but he didn’t move.  
  
  
“I think,” she said with an affectionate tone, “That _you’re_ her best friend. And that you already know the answer to your question.”  
  
  
Angel pulled his ring box back, closed it, and put it back in his pocket.  
  
  
“Can I intrude on your party?”  
  
  
“You wanna do it right now?” Willow asked in surprise.  
  
  
Angel nodded once.  
  
  
“Been feeling like…” he paused and considered his words, “Seizing the moment a lot lately.”  
  
  
Willow nodded slowly, understanding.  
  
  
“Well, please, hijack away. Give us all something to gossip about.”  
  
  
She wanted to hug him but resisted because he seemed nervous enough already.  
  
  
“Go get ‘em, slugger,” she tried instead though sensed that didn’t inspire much either, “I do have one tip…”  
  
  
A few minutes later Willow walked back out into the yard.  
  
  
“TARA! Cue romantic music and turn the solar lights on.”  
  
  
“Damn lady, that’s your wife! You could say please!” Robyn shouted loudly.  
  
  
“Robyn,” Willow hissed, blushing under all of the stares suddenly coming her way, “You know who I’m talking to.”  
  
  
Robyn’s tongue poked out between her teeth.  
  
  
“Yeah, but they don’t.”  
  
  
She ran away giggling before Willow could react. Willow held her arms up in frustration and had to let them fall back down by her side.  
  
  
She took a breath and walked over to Tara, who had a real chair with arms for her to rest on. Willow kicked over an upturned crate and plopped herself down beside her wife.  
  
  
“Perfect. Front row seats.”  
  
  
“To what?” Tara asked with an arched eyebrow.  
  
  
Willow grinned.  
  
  
A minute or so later, Angel began his walk across the yard to where Buffy was adding extra potatoes on the grill.  
  
  
Angel took her hand from behind and she turned and leaned into him. He kissed her on the head.  
  
  
And then he dropped to one knee.  
  
  
“Angel?” Buffy asked in confusion, “What are you doing?”  
  
  
“A little hush please,” Willow murmur-shouted to the rest of the group.  
  
  
Once again silence descended. Angel kept his gaze focused on Buffy.  
  
  
“I know you’ve always wanted me to be seen more. Out of the shadows. That’s why I want to do this now, in front of everyone you love.”  
  
  
He reached into his pocket and held up the ring.  
  
  
“I was going to give this to you before now. I thought of it, often.”  
  
  
Buffy smiled at the ring, still not quite putting together what was happening.  
  
  
“It’s beautiful.”  
  
  
“My people, before I knew you,” Angel started to explain and Willow had to give him credit, he didn’t break stride once, “They exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It’s a Claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty. And the heart…well, you know…”  
  
  
Buffy’s eyes widened as she finally figured out what was going on.”  
  
  
“Wear it with the heart pointing towards you,” Angel encouraged, “It means you belong to somebody.”  
  
  
He lifted his own hand and showed he was wearing his own ring.  
  
  
Willow had her fingertips on Liam’s back and gave him a gentle push.  
  
  
“Go, buddy. Just like Aunty Willow told you.”  
  
  
Liam happily toddled over and stood between them.  
  
  
“Mama, will you mawwy Daddy?”  
  
  
Buffy shrieked, her hands flying up to her face.  
  
  
“Oh my god! Of course, I will!”  
  
  
Angel got his arm around Liam and stood with him. He held out the ring.  
  
  
“Put it on.”  
  
  
“You puh ih on, Daddy!” Liam giggled and some actual color filled Angel’s cheeks.  
  
  
He put the ring on Buffy’s finger and they all embraced.  
  
  
“Yeah!” Willow called out with a grin, stomping her foot against the ground since she couldn’t clap, “Go Angel!”  
  
  
There were lots of whoops and hollers and even a tear or two was shed. All of the couples shared a kiss, including Becky and Brian. Becky threw a wink at her boyfriend.  
  
  
“Don’t get any ideas, mister. I wouldn’t change a thing,” she smiled tenderly, then lifted and dropped her eyebrows, “You can buy me some new just-because-I-love-ya earrings if you want though.”  
  
  
Brian smiled back.  
  
  
“You must be due a new pair of pearls.”  
  
  
Becky pursed her lips because the joke she wanted to make was definitely not appropriate for all of the young years scooting around this place.  
  
  
Hours later when the crowd had dispersed and the kids were pooped from all of the cleaning up they were forced into doing with injured moms unable to help much.  
  
  
Still, they both tried. Willow came into the kitchen after using floor scrubbers on her feet to clean the floor and saw Tara standing at the sink, doing dishes.  
  
  
“Babe, don’t exert yourself,” Willow warned softly.  
  
  
“It’s just dishes,” Tara replied with a soft smile, “I like to feel useful.”  
  
  
Willow sneaked up behind Tara and leaned against her back while closing her arm loosely around Tara’s waist so her hands hung limp.  
  
  
“That went even better than expected. We had an engagement and everything! Though I’m glad my bandages will be off before any of the kids’ birthdays roll around. I would not like to be hands-free for one of those.”  
  
  
“Oh, I’m so happy for Buffy and Angel,” Tara’s smile was evident in her voice, “Was she expecting it?”  
  
  
“Not at all,” Willow smiled softly, “I knew before she did, which is weird. Angel asked me for advice.”  
  
  
“He clearly wanted it to be right for her,” Tara nodded as she strained the last plate, “He’s a sweetie. Oh, we’ll have to get new dresses for the wedding.”  
  
  
“I think they’re keeping it small by all accounts,” Willow replied, nuzzling her nose into the back of Tara’s neck, “Neither of them have family around…it’s sad really.”  
  
  
She exhaled softly.  
  
  
“It’s a bad situation when I’m getting my jollies from nosing your hairline.”  
  
  
Tara pulled the plug and dried her hands before turning to Willow.  
  
  
“Actually, I think I might be ready to sleep lying down again.”  
  
  
Willow arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Don’t tease me.”  
  
  
Tara rubbed Willow’s hips with her thumbs.  
  
  
“I love to tease you,” she leaned in and pecked Willow’s lips, “But I’m not teasing you about this. My ribs are much better. I don’t even need the painkillers anymore.”  
  
  
“Well I will be glad to get rid of that monstrosity of a pillow that was keeping you upright in bed,” Willow shook her head, “With it’s soft, comfortable arms replacing my soft, comfortable arms.”  
  
  
Tara kissed Willow’s lips again.  
  
  
“Nothing could replace your soft, comfortable arms. I can’t wait to be back in them.”  
  
  
Willow leaned in and pressed her nose against Tara’s.  
  
  
“Sounds like we just scheduled ourselves a snuggle.”  
  
  
Tara lifted her hands to Willow’s face and held her cheeks as they kissed.  
  
  
They both smiled and Tara left a final kiss on Willow’s mouth before parting.  
  
  
“Are we going to…?”  
  
  
“Oh!” Willow replied quickly, “Yes! Yes. Okay. I’ll um…”  
  
  
She gestured broadly and her arms fell by her side.  
  
  
“We’ll ‘um’,” Tara said a calm voice, “Together.”  
  
  
Willow smiled easily. She offered her hand and had to pull it back.  
  
  
“Still getting used to that.”  
  
  
Tara put her arm around Willow’s shoulders and appreciated the help to get up the stairs, especially when they continued up the second flight up to the attic.  
  
  
Tara knocked on the panel door and waited for a ‘come in’ before she pulled the door enough for her and Willow to step in.  
  
  
“Nugget, can we speak to you for a minute?” Willow asked as Tara closed the door over again.  
  
  
Kayden had been sketching one-handed but put his sketchbook aside when they’d walked in.  
  
  
“Um, yeah, of course.”  
  
  
Willow and Tara sat on his bed together while he stayed at his desk, with his chair turned politely toward them. Before either Willow or Tara could say anything else, Kayden’s knee started to rock.  
  
  
“Was I rude to those guys? Going to get potato salad?”  
  
  
Both Willow and Tara exchanged confused looks, but Willow caught up first.  
  
  
“Oh, no, sweetie, not at all,” she reassured quickly and looked to Tara to explain, “I introduced him to Will and Garrett.”  
  
  
“Oh, it was so nice to see them for longer than five seconds waving across the street,” Tara said with a smile.  
  
  
Kayden pulled at the fraying threads on his sling.  
  
  
“A-are they a…a couple?”  
  
  
“Yeah, honey,” Willow nodded while crossing and uncrossing her ankles, “They moved in when the twins were just little. They call themselves their fairy godfathers.”  
  
  
“They’re the ones who gave the twins the glitter ball in their room,” Tara added.  
  
  
“Yes, we’re very Jane Fonda them,” Willow said with a waved of her arm, resulting in an arched eyebrow from both Tara and Kayden, which looked adorably learned, “What? Only they’re allowed make gay icon puns?”  
  
  
“Anyway,” Tara continued easily and looked back at Kayden, “We wanted to talk to you about something.”  
  
  
Kayden suddenly looked gray.  
  
  
“You’re not in trouble,” Tara reassured quickly, “Not at all.”  
  
  
“Definitely not,” Willow shook her head, “We just wanted to talk to you about, well…”  
  
  
She shared a smile with Tara.  
  
  
“Well, Kayden, we wanted to see how you’d feel if we…asked to adopt you?”  
  
  
The room suddenly went very quiet.  
  
  
Willow gulped. Tara felt her hopes dashed but wanted to ease the shocked look on Kayden’s face.  
  
  
“You have to know that whatever your answer is, nothing will change.”  
  
  
“Yes,” Willow nodded quickly, sensing what Tara was doing, “This is your home. Nothing will change that.”  
  
  
Kayden’s head reeled back and snapped in place.  
  
  
“Don’t you stop getting paid if you adopt me?”  
  
  
Willow and Tara exchanged confused looks.  
  
  
“What do you mean?” Willow asked, slowly dragging her gaze back to Kayden, “Are you worried about college? Because we’ll have the same in your account as all of the others by the time that comes around. That won’t change.”  
  
  
Kayden frowned.  
  
  
“Huh?”  
  
  
“The money the state pays us to foster you,” Willow explained slowly, “We put it in a college fund for you.”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes widened considerably while Willow kept speaking.  
  
  
“And we add the same amount to it that we add to all of the kids’ accounts plus we’ve been diversifying a bit to make up the time we’ve missed,” she stopped herself and waved a hand, “It’s boring business stuff but you’ll have what you need. So don’t worry about that.”  
  
  
Willow and Tara looked at each other and Tara braced herself as her eyes found Kayden again.  
  
  
“But know that it’s okay to say—”  
  
  
“Yes.”  
  
  
Kayden felt like his brain was short-circuiting with all of this information but then his eyes blinked open and all he could feel from these women; this house; this family.  
  
  
His family.  
  
  
“Yes,” he repeated quickly as if the idea was about to be snatched away, “Please. Yes. Yes. Please.”  
  
  
Tara stood and reached to touch Kayden’s face.  
  
  
“Darling, you don’t have to say please. It would be our honor.”  
  
  
Kayden threw himself at Tara, whose breath left her lungs quickly and with a soft ‘oof’.  
  
  
Kayden backed off and looked stricken.  
  
  
“Mom, I’m so sorry.”  
  
  
“It’s okay,” Tara comforted him, holding his face, “I barely felt it. They’re getting better.”  
  
  
She kissed his forehead.  
  
  
“And you can think about this for as long—”  
  
  
“No,” Kayden interrupted, politely, “I don’t need to think about it.”  
  
  
Willow stood and embraced Kayden from the other side.  
  
  
“We love you, Kay.”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes closed and he started to cry.  
  
  
Willow kissed his head and Tara rubbed his neck.  
  
  
“We don’t need a piece of paper to tell us you’re our boy,” Willow said softly, “But we’re going to get it anyway. Just to be safe.”  
  
  
“Because you are,” Tara added.  
  
  
She pressed three kisses to Kayden’s temple.  
  
  
“You are safe.”  
  


* * *

  
Tara sat in the waiting room at the hospital and flicked through a magazine.  
  
  
She wasn’t really paying attention, so got up to get a cup of water from the cooler. She didn’t take for granted the zero pain she had upon standing after so many weeks limited by her bruised ribs.  
  
  
The only negative was that without the physical pain to focus, she was growing even more worried about when the people who ran the cabins were going to get in touch about the damages and just how much they would be.  
  
  
They’d just promised Kayden college and that wasn’t a decade away, it was just a couple more years. JJ would be going off even sooner and all of their children had come accustomed to their hobbies and vacations and days out and the latest gadgets. She and Willow had worked hard for it. And now one stupid mistake could ruin it all.  
  
  
They were all okay, she had to keep reminding herself. They were all okay. Alive.  
  
  
The door to the treatment room opened and Willow walked out, bandage-free.  
  
  
Tara stood up and strode over.  
  
  
“Show me.”  
  
  
Willow turned her hands over. The skin was blotchy and there were some rough skin and patches of indentations but they were healed.  
  
  
Tara brought Willow’s hands up to her face and kissed each palm.  
  
  
“Beautiful,” she whispered reverently in their own little corner of the hospital.  
  
  
Willow’s eyes suddenly filled with tears.  
  
  
“I was worried I would lose sensation,” she said with a sniffle, “That I wouldn’t feel it when I touch you or the kids. But I felt that. I felt all of that.”  
  
  
Tara kissed Willow’s eyes, then offered her hand.  
  
  
“Let’s go home.”  
  
  
Willow took it and held on as tight as she ever had before.


	17. Chapter 17

Tara watched Kayden run his hand up and down his cast, tapping it nervously in spots.  
  
  
She leaned over in the little plastic hospital chair to whisper to him.  
  
  
“Do you want me to come in with you?”  
  
  
Kayden tried to keep his arms still. His eyes followed the tile on the floor.  
  
  
“I’ve had it done before.”  
  
  
Tara loosely stretched her arm around the back of his chair.  
  
  
“Do you want me to come in with you?” she repeated softly.  
  
  
Kayden swallowed then his eyes glanced furtively at Tara and he nodded.  
  
  
“Kayden West,” someone called and Kayden looked up apprehensively.  
  
  
Tara put a gentle hand on Kayden’s back and stood with him. They walked into the treatment room at the pediatric hospital, which had lots of smiling animals adorning the walls and equipment, including stitched into the breast pocket of the doctor who was smiling cheerily at them - the doctor and the monkey.  
  
  
“Getting your cast taken off today?” the doctor asked with a laugh that threw his head back enough to see his nose hair.  
  
  
Kayden nodded.  
  
  
“I am Dr. Gabe and we’ll have this thing off in a jiffy,” Dr. Gabe said as he fetched the small handheld saw, “Now it may sound real, but I promise you, this thing can’t cut skin at all. I’ll show you!”  
  
  
He rubbed it against his own skin to demonstrate but it didn’t help the nervous tapping of Kayden’s foot.  
  
  
Kayden _knew_ the saw wouldn’t hurt him, he had felt it before. But it didn’t stop the memory of his uncle sitting beside him as he got his previous cast off, a cast there because of him, calling Kayden names because he flinched once.  
  
  
Then he felt Tara’s fingertips over the back of his hand.  
  
  
“Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,” she sang softly, “Beautiful boy.”  
  
  
She didn’t look at him on purpose, knowing he’d be embarrassed, and Kayden felt that little shiver on the base of his spine that he’d come to recognize as love.  
  
  
“Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,” Tara continued to sing, acting like she was just humming nonchalantly into the room all the while holding Kayden’s hand loosely on top, “Beautiful boy.”  
  
  
The cast was off in seconds and Kayden’s arm naturally floated up. He smiled.  
  
  
“Cool.”  
  
  
“All done, young man. Now don’t go jumping out of any more planes!” Dr. Gage said chirpily.  
  
  
Kayden offered a weak smile and Tara thanked the doctor as they walked back out.  
  
  
In the hallway, Kayden stopped abruptly when he saw someone he knew walking toward him.  
  
  
“Oh hey…Dylan.”  
  
  
“Hey Kayden,” Dylan lifted his hand in a wave as some of his sandy-blonde hair fell into his eyes, “Hey, you got your cast off.”  
  
  
Kayden lifted his arm and looked at it as if it had regrown itself.  
  
  
“Oh, yeah,” he said, then looked up with concern, “Are you okay?”  
  
  
“I get a lot of ear infections,” Dylan shrugged, “I’m just here for a check-up.”  
  
  
“Dylan!” a female voice called from further down the hall.  
  
  
“Gotta go,” Dylan smiled easily, “See you at school.”  
  
  
“Bye,” Kayden lifted his hand, then let it fall back down awkwardly by his side.  
  
  
He continued walking out. Tara fell in step with him.  
  
  
“Who was that?”  
  
  
“Hmm?” Kayden murmured, then look up at Tara, “Oh, that’s Dylan. He’s in my Chemistry class.”  
  
  
“I see,” Tara replied with a little smile tugging on her lips.  
  
  
Back in the car, Tara belted up and put the key in the ignition but didn’t start the car.  
  
  
She looked at Kayden.  
  
  
“I have an idea,” she said in a conspiring tone, “Let’s play hooky.”  
  
  
Kayden arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Really?”  
  
  
Truly, Tara had the afternoon off of work anyway, but revealing that would be no fun.  
  
  
“I’d like to take you somewhere special to me. Are you up for it?”  
  
  
Kayden nodded slowly. Tara smiled.  
  
  
“Let’s go.”  
  
  
She flicked on the radio to be a soundtrack for their journey and she and Kayden naturally harmonized the songs they both knew together. It was such a fun, lighthearted ride that Kayden became extremely confused when they pulled into the parking lot of a small graveyard.  
  
  
Not wanting to be disrespectful, Kayden didn’t comment and just followed Tara as she led them to the middle of the graveyard.  
  
  
Tara kneeled and picked up some pebbles to lay on the gravestone.  
  
  
“Hi, Mom.”  
  
  
Kayden noted the name engraved and blinked.  
  
  
“Oh.”  
  
  
Tara encouraged Kayden to kneel down with her and he did.  
  
  
“This is my boy,” Tara smiled, “Isn’t his hair cool?”  
  
  
Kayden ducked out of Tara’s fussing but smiled.  
  
  
Tara held her hands up.  
  
  
“I wanted to bring you here because it’s important to me. I get a lot of comfort and closure from visiting my mom here. It helps when I get that sadness of missing her.”  
  
  
“Y-You feel like that?” Kayden asked with a gulp.  
  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
  
“I do,” she said slowly, tenderly, “Do you?”  
  
  
Kayden looked away.  
  
  
Tara put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
  
“You don’t have to answer that. I just want you to know that if there’s ever any place you want to visit, we’ll take you.”  
  
  
Kayden slowly looked up.  
  
  
“Anywhere?”  
  
  
Tara nodded once, surely.  
  
  
“Anywhere.”  
  


* * *

  
They stood in the heart of a Chuck E. Cheese in the midst of arcade games, amusement rides, and animatronic displays that seemed far too terrifying to be child-friendly. The smell of grease was stomach-churning and the constant high-pitched screams of giddy children was ear-piercing and soul-destroying.  
  
  
“She’d take me here on my birthday,” Kayden spoke for the first time since they’d arrived, “Invite everyone from school. Spent a fortune.”  
  
  
He paused and looked at Tara awkwardly.  
  
  
“My, um…”  
  
  
“Your mom?” Tara suggested gently, “You can call her your mom. If you can have two moms, you can have three moms.”  
  
  
Kayden looked at Tara, conflicted.  
  
  
“But she wasn’t,” he said, his brow a deep furrow, “Not the kind I needed. We couldn’t afford places like this. She spent all of the money in one afternoon and then I had to steal food to eat for the rest of the month.”  
  
  
His eyes shut tight and his mouth thinned, having said too much. His eyes cracked open again, near tears.  
  
  
“Do you think I’m bad? Do you not want to adopt me anymore?”  
  
  
“Kayden, of course we want to adopt you,” Tara replied in as gentle a tone as she could manage while still being heard about the racket, “Why would I think you were bad?”  
  
  
Kayden dropped his gaze to hide that they were filling up.  
  
  
“For stealing?”  
  
  
Someone in the rat mascot suit sauntered over and thinking perhaps Kayden had additional needs, tried to put a smile on his face with a hug and dance. Tara very politely rebuffed him and brought Kayden to a bench outside the building.  
  
  
She let Kayden have a moment as she looked away.  
  
  
“I had to steal once,” she said eventually, the first time she’d ever told anyone, even her therapist — even Willow. She looked back at Kayden, who was slightly shocked, “It was a bad week. My father took the few dollars I had to feed us. If it was just me, I would have starved until I got a school lunch the next day but if he didn’t get his dinner on the table, well…”  
  
  
She swung her head toward Kayden with a sad smile.  
  
  
“So I stole the cheapest thing I could find — some top ramen. All 10 cents worth. And I cried about it for weeks. Months. I thought I’d never get to meet my mom in heaven.”  
  
  
She placed a hand on Kayden’s knee.  
  
  
“So, no Kayden, I don’t think you’re bad. I think you’re good. You survived. And I think that’s great.”  
  
  
Kayden rubbed his palms together in front of him.  
  
  
“I guess she survived too,” he bobbed his head and closed his eyes, “Until she didn’t.”  
  
  
He looked through the glass window at all of the happy kids jumping about.  
  
  
“But she tried to give me a happy memory.”  
  
  
His head fell down and when he looked up again, his eyes had cleared.  
  
  
“I’m ready to go now.”  
  
  
Tara put her arm around Kayden’s shoulders.  
  
  
“I love you, Kayden.”  
  
  
Kayden leaned his head on Tara.  
  
  
“I love you, Mom.”  
  
  
Tara smiled and kissed Kayden’s head.  
  
  
As they got back into the car, Kayden’s head cocked curiously as he took a last look at the Chuck. E. Cheese building.  
  
  
“It’s a cool building.”  
  
  
“Hmm?” Tara asked as she slid the belt across her body.  
  
  
“It’s a cool building,” Kayden repeated, “Tudor Style. Revival probably.”  
  
  
Tara’s lips sloped up on one side.  
  
  
“You’re really getting into your buildings.”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged bashfully.  
  
  
“They’re so expressive.”  
  
  
They got home a few minutes before Kayden would normally get off the bus, or he and JJ would get home if JJ wasn’t staying after school for basketball.  
  
  
“I have something else I want to talk to you about,” Tara said as she turned the car off, “How would you feel if we told everyone that we’re officially adopting you?”  
  
  
Kayden opened his mouth to reply, then shut it again as he lingered on one word.  
  
  
“Wait…”  
  
  
Tara grinned.  
  
  
“We filed the papers this morning before I picked you up from school.”  
  
  
Kayden’s lower jaw started to tremble.  
  
  
“Really?”  
  
  
Tara reached out and held Kayden’s face.  
  
  
“It will take a few months but it’s happening.”  
  
  
Kayden’s face broke out in a slow grin. He quickly nodded.  
  
  
“Yeah. I wanna tell people. Especially…”  
  
  
“Your siblings?” Tara prompted.  
  
  
Somehow, Kayden’s smile got bigger.  
  
  
“Yeah. I want to tell them.”  
  
  
Tara leaned over and kissed Kayden squarely on the forehead.  
  
  
Later that evening when Willow had returned from work and Tara had finished ferrying Robyn to soccer practice and the twins to drama, they were just waiting for JJ to return home so they could start dinner.  
  
  
“I swear if that boy is halfway to Schenectady again…” Willow muttered and Tara gave her a look that urged patience.  
  
  
Not too many minutes later, the sound of the key in the door delighted everyone at the dinner table. JJ sauntered in and took his seat.  
  
  
“Jacob,” Willow clicked her tongue.  
  
  
JJ grabbed a dinner roll and took a bite.  
  
  
“Am I late?”  
  
  
Willow looked unamused and Tara pushed her chair back.  
  
  
“I’ll get dinner.”  
  
  
Robyn rolled and tossed her napkin across the table.  
  
  
“Thanks for making us all wait.”  
  
  
“I’m sorry, usually coach comes in and tells us he has to lock up the gym,” JJ held his hands up, “I didn’t know it was so late.”  
  
  
“I bet he was calling Cleo,” Lily said, twisting in her seat and making kissing noises.  
  
  
JJ mocked her tone and when Tara returned with the casserole dish, she shot him a look and he straightened up in his seat.  
  
  
Tara served everyone and they all dug in hungrily after the delay. When they had finished and Willow was dishing out slices of apple pie, Tara pulled her chair a little closer to the table.  
  
  
“Momma and I would like to talk to all of you.”  
  
  
Robyn and Lily shared a look of mutually assured destruction and JJ braced himself.  
  
  
“Kayden, do you want to tell everyone?” Tara asked gently and everyone’s shoulders dropped in relief.  
  
  
Kayden’s cheeks turned pink.  
  
  
“Um, well,” he said, licking his lips to rid the dryness, “I’m being adopted.”  
  
  
The table grew silent.  
  
  
“No!” Robyn broke first, her face tight with anger.  
  
  
“Robyn,” Willow said softly, frowning.  
  
  
“No!” Robyn continued angrily, “I don’t want him to leave!”  
  
  
“We don’t want Kayden to leave!” Lily and Emily said in unison.  
  
  
JJ’s brow furrowed into a v.  
  
  
“Why can’t we adopt him?”  
  
  
“We are,” Tara clarified quickly around the table, “We’re the ones who are adopting him.”  
  
  
The other kids all looked around wide-eyed then suddenly jumped up and piled on Kayden with various frequencies of squeals.  
  
  
Willow and Tara shared a big smile and Tara took Willow’s hand atop the table.  
  
  
Tara mouthed ‘I love you’ and Willow mouthed it back before leaning in to meet her wife for a kiss.  
  
  
She nuzzled Tara’s ear and kissed there too.  
  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
  
“For what?” Tara asked softly.  
  
  
Willow smiled easily.  
  
  
“For making our family truly complete.”  
  


* * *

  
All five kids got together outside the door of Willow and Tara’s bedroom.  
  
  
Kayden had his guitar strapped over his body and was holding it at the neck.  
  
  
JJ was holding a tray with breakfast a step up from the soggy bowls of cereal and burnt toast offerings of old. Well, the toast was a little burnt but that was because _someone_ — the culprit was still at large and not talking — changed the setting on the timer. But the scrambled egg was top notch if JJ did say so himself and he’d covered up the burned bits of the toast with avocado and strategically placed bacon.  
  
  
Robyn was holding a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, so fresh that she’d almost woken her parents up early from screaming when a little bit of juice got onto a paper-cut on her finger as she put it through the juicer.  
  
  
Emily was holding a small bunch of hand-picked flowers in her hands — picked from their neighbor’s garden by Lily when Emily got upset at the prospect of plucking any of Tara’s flowers — and Lily held a rectangularly shaped gift.  
  
  
“Okay, Lily, open the door,” JJ said with an indicative nod of his head.  
  
  
Lily reached up and tried to twist the knob, but it was locked.  
  
  
“Why is it lock—” JJ started, then closed his eyes and grimaced.  
  
  
“Ugh, gross,” Robyn whispered under her breath.  
  
  
“What?” Lily asked, clueless.  
  
  
Kayden was blushing and looking at the floor.  
  
  
“I-I guess it’s cool that they still—”  
  
  
“NO!” JJ and Robyn cut him off sharply.  
  
  
Kayden shut up.  
  
  
Lily bounced up and down in frustration.  
  
  
“What are you guys talking about?!”  
  
  
Suddenly the doorknob jiggled again but none of them were touching it. It opened and Tara peered her head out. Her eyes widened when she saw all of them.  
  
  
“I’m sorry kids, I forgot,” she cleared her throat and tucked some hair behind her ear, “Just, um…just wait one minute.”  
  
  
She closed the door again and both Robyn and JJ shared unamused glances. Less than a minute later, the door opened fully.  
  
  
Willow looked thrilled — and a little red — as her breakfast tray was laid upon her with her flowers and gift. She already knew what it, the same thing she got every year. A photo of the kids. Four smiling faces, except this time it was five with Kayden actually offering a smile for the camera. It would be in a frame adorned with shells or macaroni or, like one adventurous year, love heart candy that appeared to have nibbles in it.  
  
  
Willow quickly opened it with a beaming smile. Buttons this year. She put it on her nightstand to replace last year’s.  
  
  
“I love it. Thank you all. This looks delicious!” she enthused as if she couldn’t see the entire top half of the toast was cremated.  
  
  
“We gots an extra present for you this year, Momma!” Lily said keenly.  
  
  
“You do?” Willow asked, perking herself up in bed.  
  
  
Tara sat back in the bed and shared a smile with Willow.  
  
  
The kids all looked to Kayden, who straightened up smartly and started playing some opening notes on his guitar.  
  
  
Having grown up in the 90s, Willow recognized The Spice Girls immediately.  
  
  
Robyn was the first to sing and Willow actually had to remind herself how sweet Robyn’s voice was because she barely used it. It was one thing she had undoubtedly inherited from Tara.  
  
  
_She used to be my only enemy and never let me be free. Catching me in places that I knew I shouldn’t be_  
  
  
Robyn smirked at Willow, who could only smile back.  
  
  
_Every other day I crossed the line, I didn’t mean to be so bad. I never thought you would become the friend I never had_  
  
  
Robyn ducked her head in an unusual display of shyness but raised it again to finish off her verse.  
  
  
_Back then I didn’t know why… why you were misunderstood. Momma, so now I see through your eyes. All that you did was love!_  
  
  
Suddenly Lily and Emily started screeching and Willow loved all of her children dearly but it was quite a jarring contrast.  
  
  
_Momma, I love you! Momma, I care! Momma, I love you! Momma, my friend! You’re my friend…_  
  
  
The words were so sweet that Willow didn’t care an ounce that her eardrums had almost been burst.  
  
  
JJ slid in smoothly next and was bouncing on the spot to the melody Kayden was producing.  
  
  
One might think it was one of the little girls that had chosen such a song from such a band to sing but Willow knew that it was JJ who had begged to go the Spice Girls reunion tour as a child.  
  
  
_I didn’t want to hear it then but I’m not ashamed to say it now… every little thing you said and did was right for me. I had a lot of time to think about, about the way I used to be. Never had a sense of my responsibility_  
  
  
He looked at Willow with sincerity as his hair flopped in his eyes.  
  
  
_Back then I didn’t know why… why you were misunderstood. So now I see through your eyes… all that you did was love!_  
  
  
Lily and Emily were up again.  
  
  
_Momma, I love you! Momma, I care! Momma, I love you! Momma, my friend…_  
  
  
“ _You’re my friend_ ,” JJ tried (and failed) to harmonize but didn’t let his off-key screech deter him, “ _You’re my friend_.”  
  
  
For the last verse, Tara swung up and stood behind the kids with her arms around them all as best she could as they all sang as a group; sweet and scratchy voices joining together. Willow could hear the harmony in her heart if not her ears.  
  
  
_Momma, I love you! Momma, I care! Momma, I love you! Momma, my friend! Momma, I love you! Momma, I care! Momma, I love you! Momma, my friend!_  
  
  
Willow’s hands pressed against her own cheeks and she looked at her family in awe.  
  
  
“Oh, you guys, that was the best birthday gift I’ve ever gotten! Come give me hugs! Who wants some scrambled egg?”  
  
  
The girls all piled onto the bed, narrowly missing turning the sheets into a kaleidoscope of egg and orange juice, and the boys hung back, cool and collected but close enough to steal pieces of fruit from each other.  
  
  
When somehow, miraculously, the whole meal was consumed without spilling, Willow was dragged downstairs by Lily and Emily to show her the elaborate birthday card they’d made with the leftover buttons from the photo frame with a few macaroni shells thrown in for good measure. The card was almost too heavy to open.  
  
  
Tara made some real breakfast as Willow’s plate hadn’t been much at all shared between seven, plus Woofy who showed up when he smelled bacon.  
  
  
Tara served up a stack of pancakes but let everyone come in and get them as they wanted.  
  
  
Willow was able to drag herself away when all of the kids had their faces drenched with maple syrup and held out her own plate with a smile.  
  
  
“Happy Birthday to me,” she said as Tara put a heart shape onto her plate, “Thank you, baby.”  
  
  
“You are quite welcome,” Tara smiled easily, “Did you like your song? Kayden learned it just for you.”  
  
  
“Aww,” Willow replied with a warm look on her face, “They were amazing! We could go on the road! The Rosenberg-Maclay family band.”  
  
  
She thought about it and frowned.  
  
  
“Never mind, I don’t even like driving with all of them in the car to Costco, never mind going on tour.”  
  
  
“Still traumatized by that Costco trip, sweetie?” Tara asked as she chopped some strawberries for Willow’s pancake.  
  
  
“You mean the never-ending warehouse of disorientation and ill-timed pajamas?” Willow pouted, “I lost Lily somewhere between the 100 packs of puppy pads and the tubs of peanut butter bigger than my head. They called me over the PA system and told me to come to collect my abandoned child!”  
  
  
“I know, honey,” Tara soothed softly, “You don’t ever have to go back to the bad place again.”  
  
  
Willow looked at Tara dubiously.  
  
  
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were mocking me.”  
  
  
Tara slid the strawberries onto Willow’s plate with a sweet smile.  
  
  
“Lucky you know better.”  
  
  
“Mmm,” Willow replied, unconvinced but smiling, “I love when my birthday falls on a weekend. What fantastic capers have you got planned for me?  
  
  
Tara frowned.  
  
  
“Willow, you told us not to plan anything.”  
  
  
Willow’s face slowly fell. Yeah, she’d said that, but she said it every year. It was as much a tradition as the photo frame and mediocre (but lovingly produced) breakfast.  
  
  
“Oh yeah,” she covered, “No, yeah, of course.”  
  
  
“You can go to Costco for me if you’re bored,” Tara teased lightly.  
  
  
“Haha,” Willow replied, none too amused, “Do I at least get cake?”  
  
  
Tara’s brow creased.  
  
  
“You said pancakes would be enough.”  
  
  
Willow nodded quickly.  
  
  
“And they are. They’re delicious. Thank you.”  
  
  
She pressed her best approximation of an I’m-totally-not-disappointed kiss to Tara’s cheek.  
  
  
“Is there any whipped cream?”  
  
  
Tara pushed off the counter to go to the fridge.  
  
  
“That I can supply.”  
  
  
She got the can of whipped cream and gave two little squirts of eyes to accompany the chopped strawberry mouth.  
  
  
“Perfect,” Willow smiled and picked up her fork and knife to eat.  
  
  
The morning stretched out into the afternoon and it became obvious to Willow that Tara really hadn’t organized any family outings or events or much to mark the day at all. They’d at least go out for dinner that evening, she figured.  
  
  
“Ooh, that’s a great deal on meat,” Tara said as she flicked through a grocery store circular, “That’s perfect for the meatballs tonight.”  
  
  
Willow’s bottom lip thrust up in a slight pout. Tara’s spaghetti and meatballs were top class and worthy of many a chef’s kiss, but it was also a regular meal in their rotation.  
  
  
Willow shook her head to herself; she was so blessed to have the wife and family she had and here she was complaining because all she was getting was a home-cooked meal.  
  
  
Tara’s phone rang and she excused herself to take it and Willow took the opportunity with the kids otherwise engaged and playing to enjoy control of the remote.  
  
  
She was only five minutes into a recording of Married At First Sight when Tara returned, hurriedly pulling her coat over her body.  
  
  
“Willow, I’m so sorry. I have to go out on a call.”  
  
  
Willow let her feet fall to the floor.  
  
  
“I get it, it’s your job.”  
  
  
Tara quickly grabbed her purse.  
  
  
“I need you to run an errand for me. I’m sorry, but the sale ends today and we really need the extra meat with both boys eating us out of house and home and the cabin stuff still looming.”  
  
  
“Okay,” Willow agreed with a somewhat forced smile, “Where am I off to?”  
  
  
Tara grimaced.  
  


* * *

  
Willow stood in front of the sprawling warehouse; it’s red, white, and blue motif inspiring not patriotism but trepidation.  
  
  
“My old nemesis,” she said with an evocative steeliness, “We meet again.”  
  
  
“Who are you speaking to?” Lily asked as she swung Willow’s hand back and forth.  
  
  
Willow looked down at her daughter.  
  
  
“Death,” she answered in a resigned tone, “Of my sanity.”  
  
  
She gripped Lily’s hand tighter and brought Robyn along on the other side.  
  
  
“Why do I have to hold your hand?!” Robyn protested with embarrassment, “Emily is younger than me!”  
  
  
“Emily does what she’s told,” Willow countered as she dragged them both across the parking lot with Emily was being flanked by the boys behind them, “We’re going in, we’re getting all the meat our arms can carry so we don’t have to come back here and we’re going back out to the car, understand?”  
  
  
“Yes, Momma,” all of the kids droned together.  
  
  
They entered the superstore and Willow winced at the fluorescent lights. Between shelves and carts, the sound of metal humming and hitting against each other was constant. Lots of people looked lost; others were climbing the giant metal shelves to reach something higher.  
  
  
Salvation, perhaps.  
  
  
Willow closed her eyes and cursed her own diminishing of her birthday that led to this.  
  
  
“Come on, kids. In and out!”  
  
  
Willow’s plan fell to shit about forty-five seconds into the journey.  
  
  
She sped around a corner, far away from where she was trying to get to and caught Lily by the waist.  
  
  
“I told you not to run off!”  
  
  
Lily’s eyes were lit up excitedly.  
  
  
“They have tires!”  
  
  
Willow dragged Lily back, throwing a hand up.  
  
  
“Of course they do. What kind of reasonable shop _wouldn’t_ sell tires right next to the grape jelly?”  
  
  
“Momma, why don’t you just get the meat and we’ll go wait,” JJ suggested with an exaggerated sigh.  
  
  
Willow put the heels of her palms against the side of her head. She didn’t really like leaving all of the girls with the boys because they could be a handful but she was legitimately scared one of them would pull something heavy down on top of themselves or she’d see them go rolling back on the inside of a tire.  
  
  
“Okay, but NOT in the parking lot!” Willow replied quickly, “Go get milkshakes at the McDonalds next door. I’ll send you cash.”  
  
  
The girls started clapping excitedly and Willow felt guilty for feeling glad that she could see them retreating.  
  
  
She fought her way through the maze of lost souls and Godzilla-impersonators until she found the meat section.  
  
  
She bought enough ground beef to feed an army — so probably three days or so for Kayden and JJ — and joined the checkout line that seemed to stretch longer than it had taken her to get there.  
  
  
She felt she’d aged 10 years and not just the 1 when she finally got back to the car and filled the trunk with her bags.  
  
  
Just as she was about to take her phone out to call JJ, she saw arms waving from across the parking lot.  
  
  
“Maw!”  
  
  
“JJ?” Willow asked, quickly locking the car and hurrying over to him, “Where are the others?”  
  
  
JJ’s hand was on his chest like he’d been exerted.  
  
  
“Maw, I messed up.”  
  
  
Willow felt a shot of fear tingle at the base of her spine.  
  
  
“What happened?”  
  
  
JJ clutched his head and began walking around in fast circles.  
  
  
“Momma, I messed up so bad.”  
  
  
Willow grabbed JJ by the shoulders.  
  
  
“Jacob, what happened?!”  
  
  
JJ’s jaw trembled.  
  
  
“I didn’t mean to push her.”  
  
  
Willow’s breath was beginning to grow ragged.  
  
  
“JJ, who? What? Where?!”  
  
  
JJ made wild motions with his hands.  
  
  
“She wanted to climb the stairs and I thought it would be good exercise and I picked her up to use as a weight like I always do at home and I just sprinted too fast and she just went over and—”  
  
  
Willow had JJ by the scruff of her shirt and would be lifting him off the group if he wasn’t so much bigger and heavier than her.  
  
  
“Jacob, who?!”  
  
  
JJ gulped.  
  
  
“You gotta come quick.”  
  
  
Willow thought she might throw up. She ran with JJ past the McDonalds, around the bend of the following street, and into the back of a residential building. JJ rattled the ladder on the fire escape.  
  
  
“Up here, up here,” he said desperately.  
  
  
With lioness agility, Willow leaped for the ladder and started to climb it with abject terror making her fingers nimble as she clawed for the next bar. Finally, she pulled herself over the wall to the roof and collapsed on the other side. Her eyes darted all around, ready to pounce on whatever daughter was in need of her.  
  
  
The scene was not what she was expecting.  
  
  
Instead of an unconscious daughter or spilled blood or limbs twisted in directions limbs should never be twisted in, there were blankets and flowers and a little unmanned bar in the corner. There were fairy lights strewn above, an area of fake grass and lots of various garden furniture ranging from flat seats to plush couches. Beneath a canopy was a swing and on it, Tara was sitting, smiling, waiting for her.  
  
  
Willow’s eyes blinked rapidly.  
  
  
“What’s going on? Where’s—”  
  
  
“Happy Birthday, Momma,” JJ’s voice called out with a booming laugh and when Willow looked back, JJ was swinging from the top of the fire escape.  
  
  
Tara stood up gracefully from the swing and walked over to help Willow up.  
  
  
“You didn’t truly think I’d organized nothing for your day, did you?”  
  
  
Slowly, reality dawned on Willow and she was able to take a breath.  
  
  
She looked all-around at the intricate and elaborate decoration.  
  
  
“This is incredible,” she said on an exhale, then looked at Tara and came close to punching her arm, albeit gently, “But seriously, Tara, why did you tell JJ to make me think he’d killed one of our daughters?!”  
  
  
“He did WHAT?!” Tara exclaimed and looked over sternly at JJ, “I told him to tell you he dropped his phone on the fire escape.”  
  
  
JJ looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  
  
  
“The twins said I needed to feel it so I found new motivation. Had to sell it, moms!” he explained with a keen smile and held his hand up, “Key me! Gotta get the rugrats home.”  
  
  
Willow huffed out a breath and tossed JJ the keys.  
  
  
“Get that meat in the fridge!”  
  
  
A faint call of ‘on it’ was heard as JJ descended back down.  
  
  
Willow placed a hand over her heart.  
  
  
“Wait, are they going home alone?”  
  
  
Tara put her hands on Willow’s arms and rubbed up and down.  
  
  
“Rose is waiting at home. She just texted me to confirm. Everything is just fine.”  
  
  
Willow took a final, long breath, and her whole body deflated in relief.  
  
  
“That boy.”  
  
  
“It’s my fault,” Tara nobly took the blame, “He was just supposed to drive you over here and tell you to meet me up here. I was the one who started making an elaborate plan when I heard you mention Costco. It was so nearby, it was perfect. I just wanted you to be a smidge stressed to make the payoff better.”  
  
  
She held two fingers a half-inch apart.  
  
  
“This much. That’s all.”  
  
  
“Tara, this is such a sweet surprise,” Willow reassured quickly and leaned in to hug Tara, “Our son did always have a flair for the dramatics. Takes after his mother. You did light up the stage during our college drama classes.”  
  
  
Tara’s nose scrunched  
  
  
“Let’s not rehash that period of our relationship.”  
  
  
“Right,” Willow agreed readily and took a good look around, “Who’s completely fabulous roof are we invading, exactly?”  
  
  
“I rented it on Roofbnb,” Tara explained giddily, “Will and Garrett told me about it. You rent out roof spaces for parties. But I thought you might prefer a party for two.”  
  
  
“You thought correctly,” Willow replied and followed Tara back to the swing where Tara was pouring two flutes of champagne.  
  
  
Tara handed one over and they clinked glasses.  
  
  
“Come sit with me. Enjoy this magnificent view.”  
  
  
“Already doing it,” Willow grinned as she looked Tara up and down.  
  
  
Tara blushed and smiled.  
  
  
“But what about that sunset?”  
  
  
Willow settled back on the swing, tucked under Tara’s arm.  
  
  
“Stunning,” she said as she ran her hand over the soft cushioning, “I’ve always wanted a swing like this for the porch. We could do this every night.”  
  
  
“We do,” Tara whispered softly and kissed the top of Willow’s head.  
  
  
After the scare that had gotten her up there, Willow was completely relaxed and content to be in this moment. _This_ was what she’d meant when she’d said she wanted to do nothing for her birthday. This kind of nothing. And of course — _of course_ — Tara had understood that all along. Willow was a fool for doubting.  
  
  
She wondered if that meant there was still—  
  
  
“Do you want your cake before or after dinner?” Tara asked and Willow grinned from ear-to-ear.  
  
  
“Both!” she exclaimed giddily, for a moment looking exactly like Lily had on their last birthday with her red hair swishing over her shoulders and her tongue sticking out between her teeth in the exact same way.  
  
  
Tara smiled and cupped Willow’s cheek. She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Willow’s lips.  
  
  
“I love you so much, wife of mine.”  
  
  
“Wife of mine,” Willow murmured on Tara’s lips, “Come lie with me, and let’s watch the stars reveal themselves.”  
  
  
Leaving the insulated bag with food from Willow’s favorite restaurant and the cool bag with the cake sitting there, Tara followed Willow over to the blanket and they lay down together with their heads on the provided pillows.  
  
  
They were quiet, just enjoying each other, as the sunset became a night sky and allowed the stars to twinkle above them.  
  
  
“Remember how we used to do this?” Willow asked softly as she rested her head on Tara’s shoulder.  
  
  
“I do,” Tara smiled softly, linking their fingers between them as she rested her head on Willow’s, “I do.”  
  
  
Willow nuzzled Tara’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Show me Short Man Looking Uncomfortable. I always feel sorry for the guy. Lost up there in the cosmos, short _and_ uncomfortable. I keep waiting for a stellar lady of appropriate proportion to come along and help him into a more comfortable position. It can happen. The stars are always moving, you know. Finding a new place in the sky.”  
  
  
She exhaled slowly.  
  
  
“Of course, by the time we saw it, they would have already died. Gone. Poof.”  
  
  
Tara kissed the top of Willow’s head.  
  
  
“You’re just one year older, sweetie. The cosmos isn’t calling you home just yet.”  
  
  
“Does it scare you?” Willow asked, holding Tara’s hand a little tighter, “Getting older?”  
  
  
Tara looked out at the sky she’d laid with Willow under twenty years ago and knew she’d be lying with Willow again in another twenty years and another twenty after that and so on until their transformation to dust had long since ceased.  
  
  
“I don’t think of it like getting older. I think of it like another rotation around the sun with you. About cementing our place in the universe forever — together,” she said as she rubbed her thumb on Willow’s skin, “Short Man Looking Uncomfortable will get his day. Right now we have ours. Having more of it doesn’t scare me when I already know it’s infinite.”  
  
  
Willow slowly smiled and snuggled closer to Tara.  
  
  
“Somehow you made me love the stars even more,” she said as she identified a crooked, curved line of stars that she would forever know as the constellation of 'Tarasubridere'.  
  
  
'Tara smiling down'.  
  
  
Forever.  
  
  
And if that didn't take her fear of getting older away, nothing would.


	18. Chapter 18

In the Rosenberg-Maclay house, Rose was on her knees trying to keep Lily from tumbling into meltdown.  
  
  
“I’m not tired!” Lily complained, stamping her foot, “I’M NOT TIRED!”  
  
  
Rose remained calm and tried to keep Lily’s eye, but Lily’s head was flying everywhere.  
  
  
“Lily, sweetie.”  
  
  
“I’M NOT GOING TO BED!” Lily insisted, crossing her arms tightly across her chest.  
  
  
“What if you just play in your room until you’re tired?” Kayden asked easily from the coach.  
  
  
Rose opened her mouth and closed it again.  
  
  
Lily’s arms slowly dropped down by her side. Her face was contemplative for a moment, then she brightened.  
  
  
“Okay! Come on, Emily, let’s do Beauty and the Beast!”  
  
  
“I-I wanna be Belle this time,” Emily followed, her voice quiet but filled with conviction.  
  
  
Rose lifted herself up from the floor and came to sit with Kayden with a soft smile.  
  
  
“You’re very good with the girls.”  
  
  
Kayden looked slightly startled by the accusation, so Rose clarified.  
  
  
“Lily and Emily. Robyn, too.”  
  
  
Kayden’s face flushed and he looked away.  
  
  
“Oh,” he said, blinking rapidly toward the floor, “I always wanted little sisters.”  
  
  
“Now you have them,” Rose smiled and patted Kayden’s shoulder.  
  
  
“Yeah, it’s cool,” Kayden admitted with a fresh blush.  
  
  
He clasped his hand in front of him and spent a few minutes throwing glances at Rose before managing to look at her for a full moment.  
  
  
“You were married to…Mom’s mom, right?”  
  
  
“Yes,” Rose smiled wistfully. “Not quite as openly as…your parents. But yes.”  
  
  
Kayden did some exaggerated nods.  
  
  
“Garrett and Will, they live across the street. They’re married too.”  
  
  
“Oh yes, I’ve met them at some parties here,” Rose replied with a quick nod, “Lovely gentlemen. And they have the cutest dog.”  
  
  
Woofy’s ears picked up at the mention of another dog but when Poochini’s name wasn’t mentioned, he went back to sleep.  
  
  
Kayden’s back started to ripple under his shirt, betraying his nerves.  
  
  
“And there’s lots of couples on TV who are, um,” his mouth suddenly went dry as he flailed flummoxed, trying to find the word, “Gay?”  
  
  
His voice was a squeak and Rose very slowly nodded to herself.  
  
  
“Much more than in my day, although more would always be nice,” she replied easily.  
  
  
Kayden nodded quickly.  
  
  
“Yeah, no, of course. Um…um, before I came here I only ever heard bad stuff about gay people but all the real gay people I’ve met have been super nice.”  
  
  
Rose smiled.  
  
  
“It can be a shock to some people that we’re just as normal as everyone else.”  
  
  
“Yeah, it was,” Kayden replied, then suddenly looked horrified, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be insulting, ma’am.”  
  
  
“You can ask me any questions you need to. And I know it’s true of your mothers too,” Rose reassured and paused for a moment, “Kayden, may I ask you something too?”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes moved up and down, then he nodded.  
  
  
“Did you ever have a grandmother?” Rose asked gently.  
  
  
“No, ma’am,” Kayden shook his head, albeit not sadly, “No grandparents.”  
  
  
Rose leaned in conspiringly.  
  
  
”I think we have something in common, you and me.”  
  
  
“We do?” Kayden asked, arching one eyebrow.  
  
  
Rose nodded.  
  
  
“We found this family a little late…but then this family became our family. And this family is very good at making up for lost time.”  
  
  
Rose put her arm around Kayden’s shoulders.  
  
  
“So how about we drop the ‘ma’am’ business and go with ‘Nana Rose’.”  
  
  
Kayden’s smile slowly bloomed across his whole face. Rose smiled down at him.  
  
  
“Somehow you have Tara’s smile,” she said with a deep fondness, “I think it’s kindness. Shines right through.”  
  
  
She popped a quick kiss on his forehead and stood.  
  
  
“Now I have to get those twins into bed. I don’t want to disrupt their routine. Any tips?”  
  
  
“Mom does a relaxation CD with them. It’s in the CD player in their room,” Kayden answered with a knowing nod, “You can play it through the home assistant too but Mom likes the routine of the CD. Pressing the buttons and stuff. Sometimes it scratches.”  
  
  
Rose went upstairs and Kayden listened out with trepidation for screaming or rattling of the floorboards, but then the dulcet tones of the relaxation leader floated downstairs and Kayden smiled.  
  
  
Like his mom, he liked to feel useful.  
  
  
As Rose was coming back down the stairs, the front door opened and Willow and Tara walked in, wrapped up in each other, and sharing a beaming smile.  
  
  
“You’re home early,” Rose smiled at how in love they looked, remembering a special birthday or two she’d shared with Lisa.  
  
  
Willow and Tara hung their coats up.  
  
  
“I only had the roof booked until nine,” she said as she wandered into the living room and waved her fingers at Kayden, “There’s some kind of prom after-party showing up later so we had to leave.”  
  
  
She smiled at Willow.  
  
  
“Forgive me, I only found out about Roofbnb recently. There wasn’t much availability at this time of year.”  
  
  
“It was _perfect_ ,” Willow replied, coming over to kiss Tara’s cheek, “All I wanted to do was come home and snuggle up with my missus to watch a movie anyway.”  
  
  
“Roofbnb,” Rose shook her head, “What’s next, Dumpsterbnb?”  
  
  
“You _can_ actually rent other people’s dumpsters,” Willow said with a nod, “Well, it’s more like a sharing system.”  
  
  
Rose rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“There is such a thing as too much technological innovation.”  
  
  
“Take those heathen words from your mouth,” Willow said, turning her nose away before looking back with a smile, “Thanks so much for babysitting.”  
  
  
“Kayden was very helpful,” Rose replied, smiling over at him.  
  
  
Three smiling faces with attention all on him was too much for Kayden.  
  
  
“I’m, um, gonna go get a soda.”  
  
  
He slipped out to the kitchen and Rose reached out to squeeze Willow’s arm.  
  
  
“Happy Birthday, sweetheart.”  
  
  
“Thank you,” Willow smiled back at Tara again, “Apart from the near-heart attack, it’s been wonderful.”  
  
  
Rose frowned so Tara proceeded to explain.  
  
  
“JJ went off-script in my plan to surprise Willow. Did he put the meat in the fridge?” she asked, arching an eyebrow, then looked at Willow, “You weren’t even supposed to get the meat, he was supposed to bring you away in the parking lot.”  
  
  
“So I didn’t have to go into that place at all?” Willow asked incredulously, “I will kill that boy.”  
  
  
“Aww, Momma, but we have so much history,” JJ’s playful voice was heard before he was seen, then he walked in and embraced Willow from behind.  
  
  
Willow swatted her hand back against his chest.  
  
  
“You said you were going out tonight and that’s why you couldn’t babysit,” Tara said accusingly with that eyebrow still arched.  
  
  
JJ let go of Willow and shuffled his feet uncomfortably.  
  
  
“Cleo was mad that I was going to another girl’s prom so I…didn’t go.”  
  
  
“Jacob,” Tara chastised softly.  
  
  
“We were going as friends!” JJ defended, waving his arms about, “Why do you women never believe that?”  
  
  
“You better not have spoken to her like that,” Willow said, turning around and looking at him sternly, “We raised you better.”  
  
  
“It is about respect, honey,” Tara added, her and Willow moving closer together in a natural show of solidarity, “In college, Momma didn’t like the friendship I had with another woman but it only made us fight because she didn’t tell me.”  
  
  
“I thought we weren’t talking about that?” Willow clicked her tongue, “Also, by the by, that ‘other woman’ tried to tarnish my reputation and steal Mom from me, so I’m on Cleo’s side here.”  
  
  
JJ held his hands up and waved them in front of him.  
  
  
“I don’t need a Mom-bomb, I get it, my god.”  
  
  
“Who’s prom were you going to?” Tara asked curiously.  
  
  
“Chiara,” JJ answered with a shrug.  
  
  
“Oh, she’s a nice girl,” Tara smiled, “I’ve always liked her.”  
  
  
JJ clutched either side of his head.  
  
  
“So can I be friends with her or not?!”  
  
  
“Jacob, it would not be fair of any girlfriend of yours to deny your friendships with other girls,” Tara explained clearly, “But if you’re going to be in a situation that could be perceived as romantic, it is only fair to discuss with your girlfriend first to make sure everyone is comfortable.”  
  
  
Rose nodded but smiled at JJ to make it seem less like ganging up.  
  
  
“Your moms are right. It’s just about being honest and respectful so everyone knows where they stand.”  
  
  
JJ scuffed his shoe against the floor and Willow saw a flash of her little boy for a moment.  
  
  
“O…kay, I’ll go apologize.”  
  
  
He turned with his hands in his pockets and took the stairs two-by-two.  
  
  
“Chiara is also gay as hell,” Willow commented once he was gone.  
  
  
“Willow,” Tara clicked her tongue.  
  
  
“Come on, Tara, don’t tell me you don’t see it,” Willow asked with an arched eyebrow, “At JJ’s birthday I found her in the basement listening to our Melissa Etheridge CDs. What kid their age even knows who Melissa Etheridge is?”  
  
  
Tara sighed, though it would be untrue to say she’d never felt a little ‘ping’.  
  
  
“We should never assume,” she said evenly, “Let people come out when they’re ready and give them an open heart to know it’s safe.”  
  
  
Outside, Kayden hung back with his soda and pounded the stairs up to his room instead.  
  
  
Rose gave a hug to each Willow and Tara.  
  
  
“Well, ladies, I will leave you to your evening.”  
  
  
“We want to see you for a real catch-up soon,” Tara said as she lingered in the hug, “Are you off for the summer with the schools out?”  
  
  
“Have a lot of camps scheduled,” Rose smiled; happy to have a purpose in her life.  
  
  
“You do such good work,” Tara said, still holding on, “I was so proud when I saw the governor attribute the lower road deaths this year to your foundation since you became part of the DMV curriculum.”  
  
  
“Ours,” Rose corrected and pulled back to look at Tara, “It’s in Lisa’s name and you are the biggest piece of her there is. She’s a part of me and you’re a part of her. You know what that makes us?”  
  
  
“Family,” Tara answered surely.  
  
  
Rose winked.  
  
  
“And I’ll always make time for family.”  
  
  
Tara smiled and went in for another brief hug.  
  
  
“Will you take home some cake?”  
  
  
“I would love some,” Rose smiled and nodded.  
  
  
Tara led Rose into the kitchen and got out a Tupperware container to put some of the cake into.  
  
  
“You had a good night?” Rose questioned softly.  
  
  
“We had an amazing night,” Tara replied with a smile, though it faltered, “It’s been pretty stressful lately worrying about the fallout from the fire but I don’t think either of us thought about it once all night. Until now.”  
  
  
“No news yet?” Rose asked sympathetically.  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“We should have heard something days ago. It’s torture.”  
  
  
Rose reached out to touch Tara’s face.  
  
  
“Thank god you got out.”  
  
  
“Thank Woofy,” Tara quipped and Woofy came running in at the sound of his name.  
  
  
Tara got him a treat and straightened back up again.  
  
  
“You don’t have to leave just because we came home.”  
  
  
“A nice cup of tea and a book is calling me at home, along with that cake,” Rose replied and picked up the container.  
  
  
Tara walked Rose to the door and tried to pull the door open but she had to give it a tug, not for the first time.  
  
  
“I don’t know what’s wrong with this door lately,” she said in frustration but smiled again for Rose, “Thank you so much, Rose. We’ll see you soon.”  
  
  
Rose lifted her hand in a wave and Tara waved back until she was out of the driveway.  
  
  
The door caught again on closing and Tara got down on her knees to see if there was some kind of snag in the carpet. It was completely smooth so she delicately felt the underside of the door for a nail or something. In the middle was some kind of crumpled up piece of paper that Tara gently extracted it and smoothed it out on the little table they kept their keys on.  
  
  
It was an envelope, addressed to her and Willow.  
  
  
Going by the state park postage stamp, Tara knew exactly who it was from. Her stomach rolled around inside her. She stared at it for a moment, then held it flat against her leg and pivoted so when she went into the living room, she could march straight over to the drawers in the corner to hide the letter.  
  
  
“What’s that?” Willow called over, suspicious.  
  
  
“Nothing,” Tara called back unconvincingly.  
  
  
“Tara…” Willow said accusingly, “I know your ‘nothing’ voice and your ‘ _nothing_ ’ voice.”  
  
  
She marched over and snatched the envelope from Tara. Like Tara, her eye went to the stamp.  
  
  
“This is from the people at the cabin.”  
  
  
“Can we just open it tomorrow?” Tara requested with a pained looked on her face, “It’s been such a lovely night.”  
  
  
“No, Tara, we can’t,” Willow replied tersely, already ripping into the envelope.  
  
  
She snatched the letter from it much like she’d snatched the envelope from Tara. She was surprised it was just the one page; she’d been expecting the full fire report.  
  
  
Suddenly, she started jumping up and down.  
  
  
“Happy Birthday to me!” she squealed, waving the letter about, “Happy Birthday to me!”  
  
  
“What is it?!” Tara asked, unsure if she was relieved or alarmed, “Will insurance cover it?!”  
  
  
Willow shoved the letter in Tara’s face, who took it and read some key points.  
  
  
“Wait…this says we didn’t cause the fire. It was faulty wiring. That’s why the fire alarms didn’t work!”  
  
  
“AND it says that THEY'RE going to compensate US!” Willow said triumphantly, “Significantly, might I add as long as _we_ don’t sue.”  
  
  
“Which we’re not,” Tara added quickly, “Oh my god. I hope they’ve closed those cabins down until they make sure the rest of them are safe.”  
  
  
Willow grabbed Tara’s arms and pulled her in to kiss.  
  
  
She lingered for several moments, then pulled back audibly, grinning.  
  
  
“What should we do with the money?”  
  
  
They looked at each other for a second before speaking together.  
  
  
“Kayden’s college fund.”  
  
  
They laughed together.  
  
  
“Especially now that he wants to be a fancy architect,” she smiled, “Oh Tara, this is the best news. I’ve been so worried!”  
  
  
“I know. Me too,” Tara exhaled softly, “But we were still careless. We have to be so careful in the future.”  
  
  
“We will,” Willow reassured, “This is a huge win. C’mere.”  
  
  
She pulled Tara into a new hug and they could both feel the other’s heart beating through their shirts.  
  
  
Willow kissed Tara’s neck and then up her jaw. She lingered on Tara’s lips and just breathed from her wife.  
  
  
“Now you know what I want to do?”  
  
  
“What?” Tara asked softly.  
  
  
“Watch that movie with my missus,” Willow smiled, “Are you in?”  
  
  
Tara smiled back.  
  
  
“I’ll grab the wine.”  
  
  
With a lightness that she hadn’t felt in a few weeks, Tara went to open a bottle of their favorite red and cut a big slice of cake to share.  
  
  
She brought it all back into the living room, where Willow had lit some candles and loaded up a movie.  
  
  
Tara sat and handed one glass to Willow while snuggling into her with the other.  
  
  
About halfway through, Willow caught Kayden loitering in the doorway out of the corner of her eye. He pushed in but when he saw they were all cozied up, he stumbled back awkwardly.  
  
  
“Oh, um, sorry.”  
  
  
“Whoa there,” Willow said, sitting up and putting a little space between her and Tara, which she patted, “Do you want to be the bologna in this mom sandwich?”  
  
  
She pressed pause on the movie while Kayden sheepishly shimmied between them.  
  
  
“Mom doesn’t buy bologna.”  
  
  
“He’s got a point,” Tara nodded.  
  
  
“Fine,” Willow replied with mock-exasperation, “Would you like to be the high-end, locally sourced, high-protein meat filling?”  
  
  
“Or soya alternative,” Robyn’s voice called out from the hallway.  
  
  
Willow got up and went to the living room door.  
  
  
“Go to bed.”  
  
  
Robyn stuck out her tongue. Willow did the same and closed the door.  
  
  
She returned to her seat and angled her body toward Kayden.  
  
  
“What’s up?”  
  
  
Kayden’s hands fidgeted in his lap.  
  
  
“How did, uh, you, um, you know, ah, um…” he reached up and scratched the back of his neck, “Know that… you were…”  
  
  
His voice came out in a squeak.  
  
  
“Gay?”  
  
  
Willow and Tara both shared a wide-eyed look but dropped it quickly before Kayden could see.  
  
  
“I had a sort of reversal of the normal experience,” Tara explained honestly, “I just always knew I would marry a woman. I didn’t know there was a word for it until later. I never actually said the words out loud until I met Willow. Even though I didn’t know the true nature of their relationship, I’d seen my mother and Rose be together and I think that was the little voice inside me that knew it was normal.”  
  
  
“And I always wanted a boyfriend in high school because I got made fun of a lot,” Willow added with a self-deprecating eye-roll at herself, “And then a boy asked me out and I totally panicked at the prospect of actually having to go through with it. Lots of Googling and introspection later, I started to put it together. But it wasn’t an overnight thing. And I didn’t understand what it meant to love a woman until I met Tara.”  
  
  
She looked off in recollection.  
  
  
“The hardest thing was overcoming the stigma,” she nodded to herself, “I knew it was okay to be gay but for _me_ to be gay? It seemed different somehow.”  
  
  
She smiled back at Kayden.  
  
  
“But it wasn’t. I wasn’t. I was just the same as all of the other gay people out there and we were all fundamentally the same as the straight people. We’re just trying to live our happiest lives.”  
  
  
Kayden brought his arms loosely across his chest.  
  
  
“I don’t know if I’m, um,” he paused and surprised himself with how at peace he was at saying what he was about to say, “But I maybe like someone? Who’s… not a girl. A-and I don’t know if I also like girls. But I do like…this… guy.”  
  
  
He exhaled softly. That actually wasn't so hard.  
  
  
Willow and Tara shared a smile but again, hid it quick.  
  
  
“That’s really cool, nugget,” Willow nodded encouragingly, “Does he like you back?”  
  
  
“Do you share a class?” Tara added and Willow shot her a look to be cool.  
  
  
“Chemistry,” Kayden answered, starting to blush.  
  
  
“Aww,” Willow said and Tara had to give her the same look she’d received moments before.  
  
  
Willow squeezed Kayden’s arm.  
  
  
“Thanks for sharing that with us. We promise we won’t be embarrassing if you want to bring him over.”  
  
  
“Well, we’ll try our best,” Tara managed expectations, then prompted further when she had a suspicion about the boy in question, “What’s his name?”  
  
  
“Dylan,” Kayden answered, feeling a sudden rush of euphoria at speaking these feelings out loud, “But he doesn’t know I exist.”  
  
  
“That’s not true,” Tara replied, her eyes lighting up with insider knowledge, “We met him at the hospital when you were getting your cast off. He said hello to you. I saw it with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears.”  
  
  
“And they’re very cute ears,” Willow grinned across the couch, “You may not have read the latest findings but there’s a direct correlation between ear cuteness and accuracy of auditory processing.”  
  
  
Kayden looked between them and smirked while shaking his head.  
  
  
“You guys are dorks.”  
  
  
Both Willow and Tara managed to maintain cool faces this time, but their eyes were filled with delight. Insulting them was a sign of feeling secure. Willow gave Kayden a playful squeeze.  
  
  
“Well, these two dorks are watching a movie so if you refuse to listen to my consensus on ear comeliness—”  
  
  
Kayden’s hands flew up.  
  
  
“I’m going,” he said resolutely and started to stand, “I don’t know what that last word means but it makes me feel icky.”  
  
  
He started to walk toward the close door.  
  
  
“Kayden?” Tara asked when he had his hand on the knob, “We love you.”  
  
  
Kayden smiled as he pulled the door open.  
  
  
“I love you too, moms,” he said casually as he walked out.  
  
  
Willow and Tara waited a whole five seconds before throwing themselves at each other.  
  
  
“Whoa!” Willow exclaimed excitedly.  
  
  
“That he just came out to us or that he said ‘I love you’ back?” Tara asked.  
  
  
“Both!” Willow threw her hands up, “This has truly been the best birthday.”  
  
  
Tara looked Willow up and down slowly.  
  
  
“And it’s not over yet.”  
  
  
Willow felt the immediate shift in mood.  
  
  
“Something tells me we’re not finishing this movie.”  
  
  
Tara smiled crookedly and offered Willow her hand.  
  
  
“I have to finish what I started this morning…”


	19. Chapter 19

“Tara, just the woman I was looking for.”  
  
  
Tara looked up from her freshly bloomed tulips as Ira approached on the sidewalk, slowing down from his brisk pace to stop in front of their yard. She stood up from her knees and brushed the dirt off her pants.  
  
  
“Good morning, Ira. You’re up early.”  
  
  
“As I always told Willow, the early bird catches the worm,” Ira smiled humbly.  
  
  
“Yes, she was quite the early riser until we had children,” Tara replied as she plucked her gardening gloves from her hands, “Something about it being forced took all of the motivation away. She’s still fast asleep.”  
  
  
“That’s quite alright, it was you I wanted to speak to,” Ira replied, his breath still ever-so-slightly labored.  
  
  
“You mentioned,” Tara smiled and waved her hand, “Come in. There’s coffee.”  
  
  
She looked over her shoulder and smiled apologetically.  
  
  
“Sorry. There’s plenty of herbal tea, too.”  
  
  
Ira waved a hand bashfully.  
  
  
“It was only difficult to go off the stuff for the first…year or so.”  
  
  
He laughed and Tara smiled. Whenever Ira laughed, she had an image of Lily bouncing on his palm as a baby while they both laughed. He, Michelle, and indeed, Rose had helped out so much when the twins were babies and Tara was still struggling so she was glad to have fond memories borne from it.  
  
  
“Would you like orange blossom or peach surprise?”  
  
  
“Peach surprise,” Ira requested as he sat onto a stool, “The kids aren’t up yet?”  
  
  
“The twins are,” Tara replied as she put the kettle on the burner, “I’m sure they’ll be down as soon as they hear your vo—”  
  
  
“Zayde!” two voices spoke in unison, then Lily and Emily came scampering in and hugged Ira around the middle.  
  
  
“Oh, hello little ones,” Ira greeted warmly, stroking their hair either side of him, “How are you both doing this fine morning?”  
  
  
“I’m good, Zayde,” Emily said, bashfully pushing her glasses up her face.  
  
  
“Zayde, Zayde!” Lily suddenly started bouncing, using Ira’s stool as leverage, “Let’s have a tea party!!”  
  
  
“Honey, your Zayde is a bit busy,” Tara said gently.  
  
  
“Oh, well, I’m sure one cup wouldn’t delay too much,” Ira said with a doting look between the girls, then back at Tara, “Unless you have plans you need to attend to?”  
  
  
Tara held her hands up with a smile.  
  
  
“It’s Mothers’ Day Weekend. My plans are to relax and enjoy being a mother,” she said with a serene nod that was sure to have left her by the weekend’s end, “Girls, I’ll bring the tea.”  
  
  
“And cookies!” Lily said excitedly as she swung from Ira’s hand to bring him into the living room.  
  
  
“And flapjacks,” Tara amended in a singsong voice.  
  
  
She took out a plate and put the last of the breakfast bars she’d prepared last weekend on it, then heavily diluted the tea into the special little teapot the twins used for their tea parties. She poured Ira a full-strength cup and brought it all out on a little tray.  
  
  
“Your tea, Mademoiselles,” she presented it to them, “And monsieur. Lily, it’s Emily’s turn to pour the tea first.”  
  
  
Lily scowled but allowed it and Tara wondered if there would be a day when she didn’t have to remember things like who poured the tea first last time, and if she’d miss it.  
  
  
Robyn came in then with her feet trailing behind her, one sock missing from under her pajamas.  
  
  
“Hey Ganpy,” she said, throwing her arms around his neck from behind and nuzzling into the back of his head, “What are you doing here?”  
  
  
“Having tea,” Ira answered, holding his cup up indicatively, “Would you like to join us?”  
  
  
Robyn looked glum.  
  
  
“Tea plantations use excess water, have poor soil conditions, and have destructive pest management,” she said sadly, “Plus their laborers generally get paid low wages in unsafe conditions.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Ira replied, his mouth closing quickly.  
  
  
“All the tea we buy is fair trade and sustainably produced,” Tara reassured, and threw an arched eyebrow at Robyn, whom she knew already was aware of that, “You took me to that bodega so we could pick it out? We spoke about this, Robyn.”  
  
  
“I’m just informing the man,” Robyn pushed herself away and curled up on the couch.  
  
  
“You’ll have to show me the brand you buy,” Ira said cordially, with a smile again, “And perhaps you know of an organization that supports the farmers that I may donate to.”  
  
  
Robyn’s face lit up.  
  
  
“I know lots, Ganpy!”  
  
  
As Robyn regaled Ira with the many, many non-profits she had banked away for such an occasion, JJ showed up in shorts and a basketball jersey putting wireless earbuds in his ears.  
  
  
“Going out for a run. Need to be at peak performance.”  
  
  
“Have you a basketball game this weekend?” Ira inquired.  
  
  
“No, he wants to look buff for the next time he sees Cleo,” Lily cackled and started making kissy faces.  
  
  
JJ swooped in and caught Lily under his arm.  
  
  
“Careful or I’ll take you with me!”  
  
  
“Stop!” Lily giggled loudly and spun a few times when JJ placed her back on the floor.  
  
  
“Catch you laters!” JJ called back as he jogged out the door.  
  
  
“JJ is funny,” Emily smiled happily as she lifted her pinky to sip her tea.  
  
  
“Funny looking,” Robyn mumbled under her breath, “Hey Ganpy, I have a new anagram for you! Astronomer.”  
  
  
Making anagrams was a game Ira had always played with Willow growing up and it had been his privilege and joy to be able to play it with all of his grandchildren too.  
  
  
His eyes sparkled.  
  
  
“You’ve stumped me.”  
  
  
Robyn grinned victoriously.  
  
  
“Moon starer.”  
  
  
“Oh, very good,” Ira grinned.  
  
  
“Give us one, give us one!” Lily demanded.  
  
  
“Hmm…” Ira replied thoughtfully, “Elbow.”  
  
  
Both twins' faces contorted in concentration, then Emily’s face lit up first.  
  
  
“Below!”  
  
  
“That’s right,’ Ira smiled and when Lily’s face looked like thunder, he quickly supplied a new word, “Act.”  
  
  
Lily looked sullen, then brightened.  
  
  
“Cat!”  
  
  
“I’ve always wanted a cat,” Emily said with a smile and nod.  
  
  
“We have a dog,” Robyn replied with a roll of her eyes, “Known arch-nemesis of cats.”  
  
  
Emily shrugged one shoulder and asked for more tea.  
  
  
Kayden was the last to appear, which was unusual as he was usually the first up helping Tara with something. He had still been the first of the children awake, but he’d been looking up a few things on his laptop until now.  
  
  
“Hello Kayden,” Ira greeted warmly, “Do you have plans for today?”  
  
  
Kayden nodded and reached back to hold onto his opposite shoulder; a standard pose for him when standing around awkwardly.  
  
  
“I need to go to the library later.”  
  
  
“You like to read?” Ira smiled, “Willow was an avid reader, cover to cover. Couldn’t stop her.”  
  
  
“I like to read,” Kayden nodded slowly, “But I have to research some stuff.”  
  
  
“If you need a ride, I’d be happy to offer one,” Ira offered with a pleasant smile.  
  
  
Kayden shuffled from one foot to the other.  
  
  
“Oh, thank you, Mr. Rosenberg, um, sir, but JJ lets me use his bike.”  
  
  
“Why do you call Zayde ‘sir’?” Lily giggled, helping one of her stuffed toys drink some tea, “He’s not a sir, he’s a Zayde!”  
  
  
“Quite right, Lily,” Ira nodded and smiled at Kayden again, “You don’t need to call me sir.”  
  
  
“Okay, si—” Kayden stopped and caught himself, “Um, Mr. Rosenberg.”  
  
  
Ira frowned but Kayden had already twisted away to go into the kitchen.  
  
  
“Mom, is it okay if I make some breakfast?”  
  
  
Tara smiled across the island.  
  
  
“Now that’s a step up from JJ who just came in and asked if there were ‘any eats?’ and stole the last flapjack,” she said, though with a fondness in her tone, “I will make you breakfast. What would you like?”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged bashfully.  
  
  
“You don’t have to.”  
  
  
Tara came over and used one arm to hold Kayden to her.  
  
  
“I want to, my gorgeous son.”  
  
  
She kissed his head and released him, both smiling from the simple affection.  
  
  
“I know,” Tara said as she walked back over to the cabinet, “Cinnamon and brown sugar popovers. With eggs and bacon. The smell might actually rise my dear wife.”  
  
  
“Can I help?” Kayden asked keenly.  
  
  
“You can whisk the batter for me if you’d like,” Tara offered and got down the ingredients for him to mix together.  
  
  
She gave Kayden the muffin pan while she readied the eggs and Kayden helped her tidy while the popovers were in the oven.  
  
  
Lily and Emily ran in when they got the smell of cinnamon and brown sugar and Tara had to hold the muffin pan above their heads to stop them from burning themselves. Sometimes they were _so like Willow_ and Tara could only smile.  
  
  
Robyn tried to act cooler about the whole thing but did snatch a popover before anyone else could take it.  
  
  
None of them even wanted bacon or eggs in the end, but Tara did so she scrambled them up together.  
  
  
As she was plating up, Ira appeared again, apparently having excused himself for the tea party,  
  
  
“Ira,” Tara greeted again and offered him a plate, “I used turkey bacon.”  
  
  
Ira held a hand up and patted his breast pocket as he sat on a stool.  
  
  
“As much as I would love to indulge, I have six almonds in my pocket should I need a snack.”  
  
  
Tara stopped to look at Ira sincerely.  
  
  
“I hope you know how much we all need you around.”   
  
  
“I wouldn’t be refusing one of your delicious popovers if I didn’t,” Ira replied with a bit of a mischievous twitch on the hair on his upper lip.  
  
  
Tara kept the plate and got a fork and knife to eat it.  
  
  
“What did bring you here this morning?”  
  
  
Ira leaned in conspiringly.  
  
  
“Truth be told I was coming to you to see if you had any advice on what to get Michelle for her birthday. I made the fool’s error of getting her favorite perfume for our anniversary and of course, the bottle is still half full,” he shook his head to himself, “But I believe now I have a different query to make with you.”  
  
  
Tara nodded for him to go on.  
  
  
Ira clasped his hands in front of him humbly.  
  
  
“I’d like to show Kayden how to shave,” he said, cautious with his words, “I noticed a bit of bum fluff, he doesn’t have much but I did it with JJ and I’d like to do with him too.”  
  
  
Tara felt her heart swell.  
  
  
“That’s a very caring thought, Ira. To treat him as you did JJ.”   
  
  
Ira nodded once; sharply, surely.  
  
  
“Kayden is to be adopted. A part of the family as a matter of law. And as a matter of heart, he is already a son to my daughter. He is a brother to my grandchildren. That makes him my grandson. I don’t do hierarchies. How could I? JJ being above anyone else because he was the first boy? Robyn because Willow carried her; the twins because we share some genes? I treat them all just the same.”  
  
  
Tara slowly smiled.  
  
  
“I think you’re an astute man Ira,” she said with a sly wink, “Listen to your own advice.”  
  
  
Ira smiled at the compliment.  
  
  
“I know the boy comes from a…” he paused, careful again, “Delicate background. I wouldn’t want to upset or disturb him in any way.”  
  
  
Tara nodded in understanding.  
  
  
“I think that this should be okay.”  
  
  
Ira sat up spritely with the gusto of a man half his age.  
  
  
“Then I must go and source a nice razor,” he said, clear excitement in his tone, “A boy only gets his first razor once. I will see you later, Tara.”  
  
  
As he headed out the door, Willow was walking in.  
  
  
“Oh, hey, Daddy,” she greeted sleepily, “Are you leaving?”  
  
  
Ira nodded keenly.  
  
  
“Indeed, I am. I’m on a mission!”  
  
  
He marched off and Willow looked after him, amused.  
  
  
“What’s he up to?”  
  
  
“Being a good grandfather,” Tara answered and placed her plate in the sink, “Can you hold the fort for a little while if I go out to run some errands?”  
  
  
“Can I have some coffee first?” Willow asked wryly as she reached into the cabinet for a mug.  
  
  
“Only if I can have a kiss,” Tara replied with a smile, which was returned and the kiss proffered shorty after.  
  
  
“Bring me back something pretty,” Willow smiled over her cup of coffee, “Ooh, are those popovers?”  
  
  
Tara changed her shoes and fetched her purse and said a quick goodbye to the kids before taking Willow’s car out to run her errands. She would never admit it because Willow would tease her too much but she did enjoy the short jaunts she got to take in Willow’s car since she upgraded from the Mercedes to a Tesla Model S. Willow had fallen in love with Rose’s car of the same type and there was no talking her out of it.  
  
  
Tara had balked at the price and had been eyeing it as the first thing to sell if they were going to get sued by the cabin owners but it was so sleek and quiet and comfortable and it made Robyn so happy that she didn’t even complain about the carbon footprint of the minivan anymore.  
  
  
And Tara would admit this even less, but she enjoyed the little glances people gave when the car pulled up alongside them.  
  
  
Such an occurrence happened just as Tara pulled up on the curb among the many other Saturday morning shoppers.  
  
  
“Pretty little thing,” a passing man said as he nodded slowly in Tara’s direction.  
  
  
Tara closed the door and locked it.  
  
  
“Yes, she’s a beauty.”  
  
  
The man took a step toward Tara and revealed a seedy smirk under his graying beard.  
  
  
“I wasn’t talking about the car.”  
  
  
“I wasn’t either,” Tara replied, quick as a button, “I was talking about the owner of the car. My wife.”  
  
  
She smiled pleasantly but the man just scowled and walked by her.  
  
  
“Dyke.”  
  
  
Okay, maybe there was a limit on her enjoyment of the attention. Why did men always have to ruin everything? She was so glad to have the opportunity to raise her boys into being better men for the world.  
  
  
She ran her errands and noted a few raised eyebrows as she unlocked the Tesla and decided that maybe she was better off sticking to the minivan in the future.  
  
  
When she got home, JJ was shooting hoops in the driveway and as Tara drove in, he pretended she’d hit him and bounced off the hood dramatically.  
  
  
Tara threw the door open but as JJ rose, grinning and unharmed, Tara nearly slammed it closed.  
  
  
“Jacob, that’s not funny.”  
  
  
“Look on your face is hilarious, Mom,” JJ chuckled and bounced the ball around her before going for a dunk.  
  
  
Tara flicked her fingers against JJ’s arm and shook her head with a stern look before heading back into the house. The girls were playing some dancing game on the games console, Kayden was still out and Willow was sitting in the kitchen still nursing a cup of coffee while she scrolled on the iPad.  
  
  
Willow smiled as Tara walked into the kitchen.  
  
  
“You brought me back something pretty,” she said warmly with both hands cupping her mug, then continued when Tara looked confused, “You, doofus.”  
  
  
Tara gave a wry smile and leaned in for a kiss, which Willow dutifully obliged in completing.  
  
  
“Did you shop ‘til you dropped?”  
  
  
“I got peaches,” Tara replied as she took the fruit from her reusable grocery bag, “Smell.”  
  
  
Willow leaned in and smelled the peaches.  
  
  
“Second best thing I’ve smelled all morning.”  
  
  
“Me again?” Tara arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
Willow grinned devilishly and raised her mug.  
  
  
“My coffee.”  
  
  
Tara blushed despite trying to pull off a withering look.  
  
  
A while later, Kayden road up to the back door and parked JJ’s bike on the wall. He slid the sliding door open and walked in, holding the straps of his backpack over his shoulders.  
  
  
“Hi honey,” Tara greeted from where she sat beside Willow as they did the crossword together, “Did you get your research done?”  
  
  
“Ooh, what’cha researching for?” Willow asked eagerly, “Essay? Research project? Are you doing the Science Fair?”  
  
  
Kayden frowned.  
  
  
“Um, I’m not too good at science.”  
  
  
Willow began to look disappointed until Kayden spoke again.  
  
  
“I prefer math.”  
  
  
Willow beamed proudly.  
  
  
“You love whatever section of academia you choose. I support you all the way.”  
  
  
Kayden’s mouth turned unsurely.  
  
  
“Um. Thanks.”  
  
  
“Did you get your work done?” Tara asked again.  
  
  
Kayden shrugged one shoulder cagily.  
  
  
“I was just printing, mostly.”  
  
  
“Oh, we have a printer sweetheart,” Tara told him gently.  
  
  
“Oh. Um. Okay,” Kayden replied as if he didn't know that, and swallowed gently, “Can I go to my room?”  
  
  
“Go ahead,” Tara nodded and Kayden sped out of there like he was on fire.  
  
  
“Must be some research project,” Willow commented, then pointed, “12 down. Eight words. Perfect companion.”  
  
  
She smiled at Tara.  
  
  
“Soulmate. Spelled T-A-R-A.”  
  
  
Tara’s lips sloped softly on one side.  
  
  
“That’s only four letters.”  
  
  
“Put it in twice,” Willow suggested, “Because you’re twice the woman of anyone else on this earth.”  
  
  
Tara leaned in and pressed her lips to Willow and the crossword was soon forgotten.  
  
  
Not long after there were renewed cries of ‘Zayde!’ and Willow looked toward the door.  
  
  
“Is my Dad back again?”  
  
  
The girls let Ira in and after greeting and doting on them appropriately, he came into the kitchen with a carrier bag for an electrical store in his hand.  
  
  
“Hi again Dad,” Willow greeted, frowning with some confusion and curiosity.  
  
  
“Hello bubbeleh,” Ira greeted with a spring in his step.  
  
  
Tara slid off the stool and picked up one of her own carrier bags from earlier. She took out a velvet, purple box and opened it in front of Ira. Inside was a pair of gold-dipped orchid earrings.  
  
  
Ira put a hand against his heart.  
  
  
“Oh, thank you Tara, but I’m not sure they’re my color.”  
  
  
Tara smirked.  
  
  
“For Michelle.”  
  
  
Ira looked up, his eyes filling with warmth.  
  
  
“I am but a simple man in awe of the women surrounding him.”  
  
  
Tara closed the box and handed it over.  
  
  
“You make sure you write a beautiful note from the heart in her card.”  
  
  
“You can be reassured,” Ira nodded and accepted the earrings, which he put into his pocket.  
  
  
He then held his carrier bag in both hands in front of him like a little boy on the first day of school.  
  
  
“I have the, err, equipment,” he said, thrusting his bag forward indicatively, “Do you think now would be a good…?”  
  
  
Tara nodded easily.  
  
  
“He’s back from the library. In his room. You can use the bathroom up there.”  
  
  
Ira nodded once and spun on his heels before marching out.  
  
  
Willow’s head reeled and her eyes widened.  
  
  
“…what’s going on?” she made a slightly grimacing face, “Do I want to know what equipment he’s talking about?”  
  
  
Tara put a hand on Willow’s upper arm reassuringly.  
  
  
“Ira asked if it would be okay if he taught Kayden how to shave.”  
  
  
Willow put her hand against her chest.  
  
  
“Oh, that’s so sweet,” she paused and looked at Tara meaningfully, “I’m so glad I got him back.”  
  
  
Tara smiled knowingly and leaned in to press a kiss to Willow’s forehead.  
  
  
At the second step up into the attic bedrooms, Ira paused to consider what he would say. Finally, he ascended to the top and rapped his knuckles on the door.  
  
  
There were some sounds of movement from the other side and then it slid open enough for Kayden to pop his head out.  
  
  
“Oh, hello,” Ira greeted as if he was surprised at this development, “I thought we might have a chat.”  
  
  
Kayden seemed confused but politely hid it.  
  
  
“Yeah. Um. Come in…?”  
  
  
He slid his door open enough to let Ira in, then hurried back to his bed to hide some papers under his pillow.  
  
  
He sat near the top of the bed and looked at Ira expectantly.  
  
  
Ira bent his knee on the chair at Kayden’s desk and cleared his throat. Then he felt a bit silly for being nervous and knew it wasn’t a good look for the request he was making. He’d spent his whole career impressing clients and had been good at it, but it was different when it was his own new grandson.  
  
  
“We’ve never had the chance to talk alone, you and I,” he said, taking his leg down and standing up straight, “And I thought I might take the opportunity if you have the time.”  
  
  
Kayden nodded agreeably. He actually quite liked Ira. He liked how he let the twins paint his nails pink and seemed very secure in doing so. He liked how affectionate he was with both Willow and Tara and how he talked to Robyn the same way as he spoke to JJ and indeed, how he spoke to Kayden himself. Not many older men that Kayden had had in his life spoke to him without looking down at him.  
  
  
Ira left the carrier bag on Kayden’s desk and reached in. He took out the box and tossed it to Kayden.  
  
  
“I take it you don’t have one of these?”  
  
  
Kayden turned the box the right way up and once he identified what it was, he blushed.  
  
  
“Um…never needed it.”  
  
  
“I think you might now,” Ira said with some pride in his voice.  
  
  
Kayden patted his face and blushed again but smiled this time too.  
  
  
“Cool. Thanks.”  
  
  
Ira’s shoulders adjusted as he tried to retain his tall stance.  
  
  
“I thought perhaps you might need a lesson. It’s not as simple as one might think.”  
  
  
Kayden looked up at Ira.  
  
  
He’d seen enough movies. He knew what this was.  
  
  
“Really?” he asked, his knees twitching nervously.  
  
  
Ira nodded kindly.  
  
  
“If you have the time to spare.”  
  
  
Ten or so minutes later they were standing in front of the mirror in the attic bathroom, both with their lower faces and chins covered in shaving cream.  
  
  
“Now we start with short strokes just under the chin here, do you see?”  
  
  
Kayden copied Ira’s stroke with militant precision.  
  
  
“It’s better to shave over an area twice gently than apply too much pressure and cut the skin,” Ira advised wisely, “That’s why it’s always important to take the time to prepare your face with the shaving cream. You don’t want to have a face full of cuts.”  
  
  
Kayden nodded to indicate he was listening seriously, as he was.  
  
  
Ira showed Kayden a few more strokes and rinsed the blade off.  
  
  
“All of the children call me something different, you know,” he said nonchalantly as brushed the razor over his top lip, “JJ called me ‘Grandpa’ when he was very little and then he settled on ‘Gramps’. Robyn always called me ‘Ganpy’ because she couldn’t pronounce the others correctly. And Willow did me a little favor and encouraged the twins to call me Zayde — it’s a Yiddish word, a Jewish word for grandfather — because she knew I’d always wanted to be called that. Elongate your upper lip here so it’s a smooth canvas.”  
  
  
Kayden pursed his lips as Ira advised and gently pulled the blade down over the top.  
  
  
“What I’m saying is, if you had your own word, that would be just fine with me too,” Ira finished with a definitive nod, then gently caught the handle of Kayden’s razor, “Here, drag it a little further. Not so much to cut your mouth but enough that you’re not left with a furry lip.”  
  
  
Kayden copied the motion Ira showed him.  
  
  
“Like this?”  
  
  
Ira smiled proudly.  
  
  
“You’ve got it.”  
  
  
As they were finishing up, Ira handed Kayden a towel to clean off with.  
  
  
“When I was a kid I watched this cartoon,” Kayden said, looking at himself in the mirror to make sure he didn’t miss a spot, “The main kid had a Pops. I…I always wanted one too.”  
  
  
He glanced at Ira and back again quickly.  
  
  
Ira hadn’t prepared himself for the swell of emotion he would feel. He slowly smiled.  
  
  
“Pops,” he said with a nod of his head, “Very good.”  
  
  
He then quickly picked up a nearby bottle.  
  
  
“Now just because your face is clean doesn’t mean we’re done. Aftercare is every bit as important. Some people use these fancy new gels but I think some classic moisturizer is good any time of the year.”  
  
  
He offered the bottle to Kayden, who took it and squeezed some into his hands unsurely.  
  
  
“My um…ex-uncle?” he said unsurely. He rarely thought about him anymore, “Used to say moisturizer was for sissies.”  
  
  
“Balderdash,” Ira dismissed with a twinkle in his eye, “Soft skin is the prerogative of every man.”  
  
  
Kayden smiled and patted it onto his cheeks.  
  
  
“Smells nice.”  
  
  
“You’ll find one that suits you the most,” Ira nodded surely and that little twinkle was directed right at Kayden this time, “Quite often it will be the one your admirer likes the most.”  
  
  
Kayden blushed but was thankfully already rubbing his face to hide it.  
  
  
When their razors had been rinsed and Kayden put his away on his shelf on the wall, they walked back downstairs together chatting easily.  
  
  
“Dad, wow,” Willow commented with raised eyebrows from her stool in the kitchen.  
  
  
“Ira, it’s the only time I’ve seen you bare-faced in years,” Tara added with a wry smile.  
  
  
“More fun to grow than maintain,” Ira went to pluck his beard and let his hand drop sheepishly, “My wife must be wondering where I’ve gotten to all morning. Thank you all for your company.”  
  
  
“Bye, Dad,” Willow waved her hand.  
  
  
“Bye Ira,” Tara said with a warm smile.  
  
  
“Goodbye, ladies,” Ira replied cordially.  
  
  
Kayden lifted his hand up by his head.  
  
  
“Bye Pops.”  
  
  
“Goodbye Kayden,” Ira replied with a pat to his back, while Willow mouthed ‘Pops?’ to Tara, who made a face that said something akin to ‘be cool’.  
  
  
“You look fresh, honey,” Tara said with an encouraging nod.  
  
  
“You did better than JJ. The first time he shaved I counted 6 cuts,” Willow snorted, then shut up quickly when she got a look from Tara.  
  
  
Kayden didn’t seem to mind though and was smiling, pleased.  
  
  
“Really?”  
  
  
“Uh-huh,” Willow nodded, casting her eyes furtively at Tara but she was smiling again.  
  
  
Kayden rubbed his chin a little proudly and took a sidelong view of his profile in the microwave. His head snapped back to Willow and Tara.  
  
  
“Can I go see a friend?”  
  
  
“Of course,” Tara nodded after looking at Willow for a moment to see if she had any objection, “Just be back for dinner. Do you want something to eat before you go?”  
  
  
Kayden shook his head as he walked past them toward the back door.  
  
  
“No, I’ll just buy something.”  
  
  
He slipped out of the door in a second and Tara watched him go, frowning.  
  
  
“I don’t know whether to be upset about the fast food he’s clearly going to consume or happy that he’s spending his allowance on himself.”  
  
  
Willow held both hands up.  
  
  
“Go with the happy.”  
  
  
Tara was pleased that Kayden was finally starting to show some teenage irreverence, frustrating as it might be sometimes.  
  
  
She let her hands fall from her hips and smiled at Willow.  
  
  
“I’m going to go finish my gardening.”  
  
  
Willow slid off her stool and followed Tara out to the front yard.  
  
  
“And I’m going with my happy.”  
  
  
She pulled up a lawn chair and even though it was only a mild Spring day she donned her sunglasses for protection.  
  
  
Against embarrassment from being caught staring at Tara’s butt.  
  
  
She especially liked it when Tara had to dig in the soil and it would wiggle atop the back of her shoes.  
  
  
At some point, Tara went inside to find the correct gloves and when she hadn’t returned, Willow went in to help.  
  
  
She found Tara hunched just outside the kitchen doorway, peering in. Willow sneaked up and peered in just above her. She saw Robyn, Lily, and Emily helping each other to crawl up into the top cabinets where they knew Willow’s sneaky stash of cookies was.  
  
  
“Why are we not busting their asses right now?” Willow whispered to Tara.  
  
  
“Because Emily is joining in,” Tara replied, her smile evident in her tone, “Emily is being naughty.”  
  
  
Willow realized Tara was right and beamed. She took Tara’s hand and tugged gently.  
  
  
“Let’s go with the happy and get out of here.”  
  
  
Tara cast one last look to make sure they’d all gotten down safely, then caught up with Willow.  
  
  
“Where are we going?”  
  
  
Willow looked back with a devilish smile.  
  
  
“Why should they be the only ones who get to be naughty?”  
  


* * *

  
Kayden walked up the stairs with the rest of the kids, still in his pajamas, and looking a little bit confused.  
  
  
“Didn’t we just do this?”  
  
  
JJ shot him a grimaced look as he yet again balanced a tray of breakfast items in his hands.  
  
  
“Birthdays and Mothers’ Day, man,” he shook his head, “We have the misfortune of having one like a week later from the other.”  
  
  
“But then we’re free and clear until Mom’s birthday at the holidays,” Robyn added, cutting the air with her hand.  
  
  
“Plus when we do breakfast in bed we start the day off in their good books and they don’t ask us to do anything else,” JJ added with a serious nod.  
  
  
“This is an established routine, dude,” Robyn said with an arched eyebrow, “Don’t f—”  
  
  
She glanced at Lily and Emily, mostly Emily, and back to Kayden.  
  
  
“Don’t mess this up for us.”  
  
  
Emily swung her hand into Kayden’s.  
  
  
“You don’t mess things up, Kayden, you make them better.”  
  
  
Kayden smiled downward.  
  
  
“Aw, thanks Em.”  
  
  
“Whose year was it to get the gift?” Lily asked as they turned the corner toward their parents’ bedroom.  
  
  
“You,” Robyn and JJ said to each other at the same time, then stared at each other wide-eyed, “YOU!”  
  
  
“I made Momma’s photo frame!” Robyn protested.  
  
  
“I-I made it,” Emily stuck her hand up shyly.  
  
  
“I outsourced making Momma’s photo frame!” Robyn amended with frustration in her voice.  
  
  
“Now who’s a fan of capitalism?” JJ sneered.’  
  
  
Robyn’s eyes narrowed but Lily was quick to point to the envelope Kayden was carrying that had a little bow stuck on the front.  
  
  
“Kayden has a gift!”  
  
  
Kayden looked to the group of eager faces and his eyes widened.  
  
  
“Oh. Um.”  
  
  
JJ exhaled audibly.  
  
  
“Phew, bro. You saved us.”  
  
  
“Actually—”  
  
  
Robyn hugged Kayden’s legs.  
  
  
“Forgot what I said before, Emily is totally right, you do make things better!”  
  
  
Kayden paled.  
  
  
“I-I don’t—”  
  
  
Suddenly Lily opened the door and was shaking Willow and Tara awake.  
  
  
“Happy Mothers’ Day,” the kids all said in unison but Kayden only managed to come in for the last word.  
  
  
“Oh, you guys,” Willow said as if this was a big surprise, “Thank you.”   
  
  
“You’re so sweet,” Tara added, sharing a smile with Willow that said I-love-our-children-but-what-age-do-you-think-they’ll-be-when-they-realize-the-best-gift-they-could-give-us-is-to-sleep-in?  
  
  
Everyone accepted a kiss and the tray was shoved at them with eager smiles.  
  
  
Robyn pushed Kayden forward.  
  
  
“Kayden has your present.”  
  
  
Kayden gulped and looked back at the other kids then at Willow and Tara.  
  
  
“Um,” he said, going from deathly pale to bright red in a couple of seconds, “Happy…Happy Mothers’ Day.”  
  
  
He handed over the envelope.  
  
  
Willow and Tara looked at him in confusion and slid the contents out.  
  
  
“It’s just some papers,” Lily said with disappointment, “That’s not a very good present.”  
  
  
“Shut it,” Robyn hissed.  
  
  
“Robyn,” Willow and Tara clicked their tongue in a well-practiced tone.  
  
  
Robyn held her hands up defensively.  
  
  
Willow and Tara studied the papers for a second, frowning when it just appeared to be a bunch of forms until finally, it registered what it said on top: Petition For Name Change.  
  
  
Kayden’s details had been filled out and in the new name section was ‘Rosenberg-Maclay’.  
  
  
Willow spotted it first and looked up to Kayden, swallowing deeply.  
  
  
“You want to take our name?”  
  
  
Kayden gave a shaky nod as Tara placed her finger on the page.  
  
  
“Willow.”  
  
  
Willow looked down and followed where Tara was pointing. It was the middle name section. Under ‘current name’ it was blank but the ‘new name’ portion was filled in.  
  
  
It took Willow a minute, but then she remembered. Christmas morning; giving him a new name, the name they would have given him if he’d been theirs from the start.  
  
  
“Kaleb with a K,” she whispered and when she looked up this time there were tears in his eyes.  
  
  
“Hey man,” JJ reached out to pull Kayden’s shoulder from behind, which he pivoted to pull him into a hug, “That’s really cool.”  
  
  
“Yeah, it is,” Robyn added in a rare moment of sincerity.  
  
  
“I don’t get it,” Lily complained with a furrowed brow.  
  
  
“Kayden’s gonna be called Rosenberg-Maclay,” Tara said with a big smile.  
  
  
“Isn’t he already?” Emily frowned.  
  
  
“Not officially,” Willow shook her head and wiped her eyes with a laugh, “This will make it official.”  
  
  
“Oh,” Lily replied, then shrugged, bored, “Um, can we go play now?”  
  
  
Tara waved them off with a last hug each and they kissed Kayden’s cheek together.  
  
  
“We love you Kayden Kaleb Rosenberg-Maclay,” Willow said warmly, “Thanks so much for letting us be your family.”  
  
  
Kayden just nodded but it was obvious he was choked up so neither Willow nor Tara pushed.  
  
  
When they were alone again, Willow exhaled slowly and picked at a piece of bacon.  
  
  
“Our court date is coming up.”  
  
  
“I haven’t forgotten,” Tara answered with a playful shoulder bump.  
  
  
“No, I know, I just mean…” Willow held up a hand helplessly, “Whoa, y’know?”  
  
  
She leaned into Tara.  
  
  
“I can’t wait.”  
  
  
Tara kissed Willow gently.  
  
  
“Me either.”  
  
  
“I’ve been remembering JJ’s adoption,” Willow said with a wistful smile, “Just how amazing it was that moment where we officially became a family. I didn’t think we’d be doing it again. I’m so glad our son found our other son and brought him home.”  
  
  
She kissed Tara’s shoulder blade repeatedly.  
  
  
“And that you fought so hard for him to stay.”  
  
  
“It was like the universe threw me an ultimatum,” Tara admitted, reaching over to rub Willow’s arm, “Do this or spend your life regretting it.”  
  
  
“The boy ultimatum,” Willow mused and looked to Tara with more adoration than each year before, “Happy Mothers’ Day, love.”  
  
  
Tara linked their fingers and held on tight.  
  
  
“Happy Mothers’ Day, love.”


	20. Chapter 20

“Do I look okay?”  
  
  
Robyn shot JJ some side-eye as she swung her legs beneath the bench she was sitting on in the courthouse.  
  
  
“You’re not even the one being adopted.”  
  
  
“They don’t just take a picture of the person getting adopted,” JJ shot back as he fixed his hair using a shiny doorknob as a mirror, “I know, I’ve been through this.”  
  
  
Robyn rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“One, you were a baby,” she said, holding up a finger dramatically then adding another, “Two, we’ve all been adopted.”  
  
  
JJ’s face scrunched up in confusion.  
  
  
“Huh?”  
  
  
Robyn crossed her arms loosely over her chest.  
  
  
“Mom had to adopt me and Momma had to adopt the twins because they didn’t give birth to us.”  
  
  
Somehow, JJ’s nose scrunched even further.  
  
  
“But Mom is your bio-mom.”  
  
  
“Yeah, but Momma gave birth to me and that’s what counts under the law,” Robyn explained like she was talking to a two–year –old.  
  
  
JJ looked at her skeptically.  
  
  
“How do you know all this?”  
  
  
Robyn shrugged one shoulder.  
  
  
“I read a lot.”  
  
  
JJ sat back and shook his head.  
  
  
“Those laws are stupid,” he said through an exhale, then cast his eyes furtively at Robyn, “They must have spent so much money to have you. What a disappointment.”  
  
  
Robyn reached out and shoved JJ.  
  
  
“Jerk.”  
  
  
Willow suddenly came running over.  
  
  
“Hey, hey, hey,” she waved her hands in front of them, “A bit of decorum, please. We are in a courthouse.”  
  
  
She spotted Tara gesturing for her as she entered the courtroom with Kayden.  
  
  
“Okay, we’re in,” she said and caught each by the arm while gesturing Lily and Emily forward, “All of you, behave.”  
  
  
She guided all of the children into the family courtroom and sat them in the benches with Ira and Michelle. Ira stood to give Willow a quick hug and then Willow joined Tara at the front table. Kayden sat on the side and Brandon, Kayden’s social worker, sat on the opposite side surrounded by relevant papers and files.  
  
  
Willow had been holding out hope that Hallie would come out and sit on the bench but it was their old cantankerous friend Judge Hayden instead.  
  
  
She shot a wary glance with Tara, who took her hand under the table.  
  
  
They went through some formalities but before things could proceed, a woman suddenly burst through the doors.  
  
  
“Stop!”  
  
  
The whole courtroom spun to look at who was interrupting and the judge looked unamused.  
  
  
“Young lady, this is not a wedding ceremony, you cannot just barge in here and object. Who may I ask, are you?”  
  
  
Kayden rose from his seat, shaking.  
  
  
“Roxy.”  
  
  
Roxy took another step forward but the bailiff stopped her.  
  
  
“And who the hell are you?” Roxy spat, “Some jumped up mall security guard.”  
  
  
Tara began to stand but Kayden put his hand on her arm.  
  
  
“Mom, no,” he said softly, “Let me deal with this?”  
  
  
Tara looked at Kayden for a long moment, then nodded once.  
  
  
“We request a brief recess,” Tara asked in a shaken but clear voice.  
  
  
“Why not,” Judge Hayden sighed, “I didn’t finish the crossword anyway. 10 minutes.”  
  
  
Kayden was quick to walk out before he lost his nerve and took his aunt to a corner in the corridor.  
  
  
“Roxy…what are you doing here?”  
  
  
Roxy was even thinner and paler than the last time Kayden had seen her. She twitched and her hands were shaking as much as him.  
  
  
“Saving you from whatever scam these people are trying to pull on you.”  
  
  
Kayden looked down.  
  
  
“They’re not trying to pull a scam.”  
  
  
Roxy rolled her eyes dismissively.  
  
  
“Well it doesn’t matter now anyway,” she waved a hand and pushed her chest out proudly, “I’m ready to take you back so you don’t have to go through with all this nonsense.”  
  
  
Kayden’s eyes slowly softened with sadness.  
  
  
“Roxy, I… I wasn’t safe with you,” he said, confused as to why she would think he’d ever go back with her, “You let him hurt me.”  
  
  
“I can’t control what someone else does with their fists,” Roxy spat and grabbed Kayden’s t-shirt, “You are my blood, not theirs.”  
  
  
Kayden knew Brandon was hovering then by the flashes of movement in his peripheral vision but he extracted himself without incident.  
  
  
“Roxy,” he pleaded gently, “Please stop.”  
  
  
“What is it?” Roxy sneered, gesturing him up and down, “They get you some nice clothes and suddenly you forget your blood kin?”  
  
  
Kayden blinked once.  
  
  
“They’re my family,” he said softly and Roxy looked wounded, “They make me h-happy.”  
  
  
He swallowed deeply but held his head high. Roxy rolled her eyes again.  
  
  
“Yeah, well, I’m getting Tony’s widow pension now so I don’t even need those state payments anyway. You’d just be in the way.”  
  
  
Kayden nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets.  
  
  
“Okay. Bye Roxy.”  
  
  
He started to leave but there was a hand on his shoulder.  
  
  
“Hey Kay,” Roxy said and looked earnest as Kayden looked back, “You got 20 bucks I can borrow?”  
  
  
Kayden paused, then silently reached into his breast pocket on the suit Ira had bought for him and handed her the bills he had in there. He wanted to buy everyone ice-cream after but now he just wanted away from this woman and back in with his family to make it official.  
  
  
“I gotta go. The judge is waiting,” he said, then paused one last moment, “Roxy?”  
  
  
He met her gaze.  
  
  
“I hope you find a family too.”  
  
  
And with one step forward he left his past behind and walked into his future, flanked by Willow and Tara either side who had been waiting in the doorway. They kissed him either side of his head and settled back into their seats only to stand immediately when the judge returned to the bench.  
  
  
“Now, where were we?” he asked in a bored tone and finally looked at them all for the first time, “Oh. I remember you. The women who think they’ve defied biology and have fatherless children. I believe you called me, in witness of my clerk, something approximate to the gluteus maximus for expressing my disbelief.”  
  
  
Willow’s head turned sharply and made a gesture for her father to get the kids out of there. Michelle was already up and ushering the girls out, but Robyn slipped back in at the last second.  
  
  
“We _don’t_ have fathers, dingus.”  
  
  
Willow and Tara turned, horrified, but before they could chastise her, the judge laughed.  
  
  
“No one has had the audacity to address me like that in my court…ever,” he chuckled and smiled at Robyn, “I like your gumption.”  
  
  
His head tilted dismissively.  
  
  
“But everyone has a father.”  
  
  
Robyn took another step forward.  
  
  
“No, everyone has a sperm and an egg that they came from. It’s what happens after they come together that you put labels on. And we don’t have fathers,” she said emphatically, “If you’re so interested, our sperm donor was number 1872GZ. He is Caucasian and has red hair and green eyes. He’s a medium build with AB+ blood type who majored in Chemistry in college and was 28 when he donated. He describes himself as organized, easy-going, patient, encouraging, and analytical. He likes to play chess and ping pong and watch soccer on TV.”  
  
  
Willow and Tara looked stunned whilst the judge looked intrigued.  
  
  
“And that last thing is the only thing I have in common with him. Something I have in common with my other adopted brother and my non-biological uncles and millions of other men — and women — around the world. So you can sit there and preach that this man that I couldn’t pick out on the street is my father, but he’s not. He’s probably a nice guy. He sure did a nice thing helping my moms have me and my sisters. And I’d say thanks if I ever met him. But he’ll never be my parent. I already have two of those.”  
  
  
She rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“And trust me, it’s enough.”  
  
  
Judge Hayden settled his arms on the bench.  
  
  
“Well,” he said with an impressed nod, “You’ve clearly raised an intelligent and articulate young girl.”  
  
  
He picked up a pen and noted something on his legal pad.  
  
  
“If a little uncouth.”  
  
  
“Hey!” Willow’s brow furrowed angrily.  
  
  
But Robyn didn’t need help defending herself.  
  
  
“I’d rather be un- _couth_ than have that hair- _do_ —”  
  
  
Judge Hayden put his hand up; he’d endured as much of a disturbance to proceedings as he was willing to tolerate.  
  
  
Willow flicked her hand to indicate for Robyn to sit down quickly.  
  
  
“Moving on,” Judge Hayden said and looked through the documents in front of him, “Mr. West, is it your sincere desire to be adopted by these two women and to enter into this family with… all that that entails?”  
  
  
Kayden stood up and buttoned his jacket as Ira had shown him.  
  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
  
The judge just about acknowledged him and wrote something in front of him.  
  
  
“Any objection from the state?”  
  
  
Brandon stood importantly.  
  
  
“State approves this adoption application in full.”  
  
  
The judge nodded once.  
  
  
“Adoption and name change approved. I don’t do pictures.”  
  
  
He excused himself before any of them had a chance to process what had happened. Then suddenly all at once, it hit them all in different ways; Willow laughed, Tara started crying and Kayden just stood there with his mouth open. It took Robyn calling everyone back in and for them all to be pulled into various hugs for them to process what had happened and then there was hysterical laughter and joy filling the room.  
  
  
The court reporter was kind enough to take the photo the judge denied (but they didn’t want him in it anyway). Kayden stood front and center with a smile breaking off of his face, holding his adoption certificate as he took his first picture as Kayden Kaleb Rosenberg-Maclay.  
  
  
They were politely ushered out of the courtroom so the next case could come in. Willow and Tara shook hands with Brandon, who had tears in his eyes.  
  
  
“This is my first adoption.”  
  
  
Tara brought him into a hug.  
  
  
“Never lose that heart.”  
  
  
Willow nudged Tara and they both quickly took Robyn off to the side.  
  
  
“Robyn,” Tara said softly, bending down to her level and holding her arms, “We didn’t know you knew all that about your donor.”  
  
  
Robyn shrugged one shoulder.  
  
  
“I found the papers when I was looking for my birth certificate.”  
  
  
“Why were you looking for your birth certificate?” Willow frowned.  
  
  
“So I could apply for the Peace Corps,” Robyn said with an exaggerated sigh.  
  
  
“Getting a decade ahead of yourself, there,” Willow replied unsurely.  
  
  
“That doesn’t matter,” Tara interrupted quickly, “The papers. You must have read them a lot to memorize it.”  
  
  
Robyn shook her head.  
  
  
“Nah. I can remember anything I read once.”  
  
  
Willow and Tara exchanged concerned looks and Robyn rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“Moms, chill out. I was putting on a show,” she said and started doing a mocking tone, “‘He sure did a nice thing’, who am I, Scout Finch?”  
  
  
Willow and Tara’s look of concern changed to one of delight.  
  
  
“You are our favorite second-born child,” Tara smiled, kissing Robyn’s forehead.  
  
  
“It’s true, we don’t love anyone else’s second-born child more than we love you,” Willow nodded quickly, surely.  
  
  
Robyn arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“Isn’t Kayden your second-born now?”  
  
  
Willow glanced at Tara.  
  
  
“You’re our favorite first-born daughter,” she amended and it was Tara’s turn to nod quickly.  
  
  
“Definitely,” she smiled and pulled Robyn into another hug, “If you do have any more questions…”  
  
  
Robyn waved a hand.  
  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” she shrugged, indifferent, “Hey, aren’t we late?”  
  
  
Willow checked her watch and her eyes widened.  
  
  
“Crap! Come on guys, let’s go!”  
  
  
“Where is it?” JJ asked across the crowd.  
  
  
“It’s in the other building,” Tara explained with appropriate hurriedness, “We have to leave and walk around the block.”  
  
  
“Make that run!” Willow said and started to push their clan out to get to the other courthouse.  
  
  
Looking like escapees from a psych ward during a fancy dress party they all hurried around the block and into the other courthouse where the rest of their friends were also gathered in nice clothing.  
  
  
Jesse was the first to gather their attention to point out the Rosenberg-Maclays were coming and there were lots of anticipatory faces. As they held their breath, Tara pushed Kayden forward, who smiled bashfully.  
  
  
“I’m adopted.”  
  
  
Cheers rose up to the air and everyone crowded around Kayden to embrace him.  
  
  
Angel came up in a tux and nodded at Kayden with the hint of a smile. Kayden gave the exact same look back.  
  
  
“If everyone wouldn’t mind…” Angel said and cocked his head.  
  
  
Everyone followed him like a shoal of fish into a small room that they all just about fit it with enough space to leave a trail between the door and where the officiant stood. Angel stood with her and nervously moved from foot to foot.  
  
  
There was no music but at some point, everyone’s eyes went to the door and Buffy arrived in a long white dress, holding hands with Liam who was in a tux that mirrored Angel’s.  
  
  
Liam walked Buffy down the aisle to lots of oohs and awws and Angel picked him up to hold for the duration of the ceremony.  
  
  
When it came to the vows, Angel cleared his throat and spoke clearly even as Liam hung out of him.  
  
  
“Passion. It is born, and though uninvited, unwelcome, unwanted…like a cancer it takes root. It festers. It bleeds. It scabs… only to rupture and bleed anew. It grows…it thrives…until it consumes. It lives, so it must die. It lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir- open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Some to despair…it drives others to murder and others to madness. Passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments: the joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. Passion is the source of hope and the cause of despair. It is the source of life and the cause of death. If we could live without passion, maybe we’d know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered, and dank. Without passion, we’d be truly dead.”  
  
  
Everyone seemed a little stunned that Angel said so much and so eloquently, but Buffy didn’t. Angel stared deep into Buffy’s soul.  
  
  
“Buffy Anne Summers you are the match to ignite my passion. Not just for you, but for life. Our life. Our family. And it is without _you_ that I would truly be dead.”  
  
  
A smile bloomed on Buffy’s face and she reached out to cup Angel’s cheek.  
  
  
“Angel, when I look into the future, all I see is you. All I want is you,” she said simply, “So how’s forever? Does forever work for you?”  
  
  
Angel’s eyes softened and the only thing that broke their stare was Liam clapping happily.  
  
  
They exchanged rings that were tied to Liam’s shirt. They kissed and everyone cheered with more than a few wet eyes.  
  
  
Buffy blushed and even Angel smiled bashfully as they presented themselves as a married couple for the first time.  
  
  
“Willow? Tara? Will you be our witnesses?” Buffy requested and both Willow and Tara looked at each other, touched.  
  
  
“Of course we will,” Willow replied for them, “Oh Buff, I’m so happy for you.”  
  
  
She hugged Buffy and then Tara hugged Buffy too.  
  
  
“And I’m so happy for you guys too!” Buffy said with an unending smile.  
  
  
Willow and Tara signed what needed to be signed and then hung back as people started to file out to the restaurant where they were all going to celebrate the day’s events.  
  
  
Tara took Willow’s hand and kept a few feet back so they had some space.  
  
  
“Finally. Our son is ours.”  
  
  
“I feel like I’m high,” Willow replied giddily, then quickly added, “Not like that one time I smoked pot.”  
  
  
“Ssh!” Tara said with a wide-eyed look.  
  
  
“Whoops,” Willow closed her lips together but no one had heard, “Just saying, running on good old endorphins.”  
  
  
Tara chuckled and smiled.  
  
  
“Today is a good day.”  
  
  
“Today is a GREAT day,” Willow amended with a grin.  
  
  
Tara gently squeezed her wife’s fingers as she watched their children kid with each other as all siblings should.  
  
  
“Today is the best day.”  
  
  
She looked at all of their celebrating family and imagined all of the happiness that was to come.  
  
  
“So far.”  
  


* * *

  
Kayden rolled over in bed and held his pillow to the side of his face.  
  
  
He didn’t take such luxuries for granted yet; you couldn’t when you slept years with no pillow at all. But he also didn’t think of those times every time he felt the cool press of cotton against his cheek either.  
  
  
As he dozed, he smiled at how well the first week back at school had gone after summer vacation. He knew people now, from spending the summer doing guitar lessons and they would say hello to him in the halls. Teachers called him Kayden Rosenberg-Maclay now when they called for attendance. And best of all, Dylan had promised to come by for his birthday party later today.  
  
  
He rolled over again and checked the time — it was late. At some point, or perhaps gradually, he’d transitioned from getting up at the crack of dawn to be seen in the best (morning) light to sleeping in as teenagers do. It hadn’t been a conscious action but there was something about the words ‘adoption approved’ that had settled peace in him and allowed him to give in to little indulgences like that over the past few months.  
  
  
He sat up and stretched, then swung his legs out of bed, putting his feet in his slippers. The warm ones Tara had gotten him now that Fall was starting to set in.  
  
  
He brushed his teeth and combed his hair, spending extra minutes to make sure it fell just so. Then he got dressed in black jeans and a blue-and-yellow pattered shirt that he’d bought just because Dylan had said he liked his pencil case in the same design.  
  
  
After another quick check of his hair, he left his bedroom, greeted Woofy who was sleeping on JJ’s floor while JJ snored and continued down the two sets of stairs. Hastily gathered in the hallway, Willow threw some confetti over Kayden’s head.  
  
  
“There you are, lazy bones,” she teased gently, knowing she could, “You’re getting as bad as JJ.”  
  
  
“What she means is,” Tara continued with a pointed glance at her wife, “ _Happy Birthday_.”  
  
  
“Happy Birthday, nugget,” Willow smiled and hugged him sidelong while kissing the top of his head.  
  
  
Upon hearing those words, Lily and Emily skid out to throw themselves at Kayden’s legs.  
  
  
“HappyBirthdayHappyBirthdayHappyBirthday,” they said in unison as they jumped up and down.  
  
  
“Hey, thanks,” Kayden smiled down at them, starting to blush under all of the attention.  
  
  
Robyn stood in the doorway to the living room with her arms folded lightly over her chest. She nodded once; a brief lift of her chin.  
  
  
“Happy Birthday bro.”  
  
  
Kayden nodded back over to her.  
  
  
“Thanks, sis.”  
  
  
Lily tugged on Kayden’s hand.  
  
  
“Kayden come see the card I made you, it has Legos! I glued them on and the glue got stuck to my fingers and I had to peel it off but some is still stuck there, see? So I glued it on but then MY FINGER got stuck to the card and Emily pulled but she couldn’t get it off so Robyn had to and she made it hurt worser on purpose!”  
  
  
“Last time I do you a favor,” Robyn muttered under her breath.  
  
  
Kayden let himself be dragged in to be shown the lovingly-constructed birthday card that had a big K in Legos on the front.  
  
  
“Did you draw the guitar, Em?” Kayden guessed and Emily nodded shyly with her chin resting on her hands, “It’s really cool. You got the strings exactly right.”  
  
  
A few minutes later, Willow and Tara walked in. Willow had a plate in her hand.  
  
  
“Sufganiyah,” she said as she placed it down.  
  
  
“Aka jelly donuts,” Tara explained before Kayden could have a chance to look confused, “Your favorite.”  
  
  
“Thanks,” Kayden couldn’t keep the smile off his face, “They look really good.”  
  
  
What seemed like under a minute later, JJ arrived in boxers and mussed hair, rubbing the heel of his hand into his eye.  
  
  
“I heard the word donut.”  
  
  
“How did you hear that from two floors away?” Willow frowned.  
  
  
JJ grabbed a donut and fell onto the couch with his legs over the armrest.  
  
  
“I don’t have old lady hearing.”  
  
  
Moments later, he felt a cushion hit his torso. He scoffed.  
  
  
“Real mature, maw.”  
  
  
“That was me,” Robyn said, picking up the cushion and slamming it at JJ’s chest again, “You squirted jelly on my shoe!”  
  
  
“Do _not_ get jelly on my sofa,” Tara stood up and held her hands out,  
  
  
“Yeah if you can’t eat responsibly, then go eat over the sink,” Willow nodded, right as a big blob of jelly fell onto the floor.  
  
  
Tara arched an eyebrow while Willow blushed.  
  
  
“I’ll go eat over the sink.”  
  
  
“Just clean it up,” Tara said quietly.  
  
  
She closed her eyes and just smiled.  
  
  
“Presents!” she announced, “Let’s get Kayden his presents.”  
  
  
Everyone scrambled around to eagerly present Kayden with his gifts and he had to stop for a moment to really accept all of the love being poured in his direction.  
  
  
He got a pretty great haul; guitar socks from Lily, new wireless earbuds from JJ, a giant gummy bear from Emily, and something that looked like a hole punch from Robyn but was actually a machine which turned recycled plastics to guitar picks.  
  
  
Then Tara offered him a big gift-wrapped box and for a second Kayden flashed to being six years old in Chuck-E-Cheese being handed a similarly sized gift, but this time there was no insecurity that he’d have to try and sell it to the kid on the 5th floor to get money for food in two weeks.  
  
  
“Thanks, Mom.”  
  
  
Tara took Kayden’s face in her hands and kissed the top of his head.  
  
  
“I love you,” she whispered into his hair.  
  
  
“Love you too, Mom,” Kayden answered before eagerly tearing off the wrapping paper on his new 3D model kit.  
  
  
His eyes lit up; touched that they’d listened to things he’d said and his desire to design buildings.  
  
  
“So cool!”  
  
  
Willow gently shoved a box across the table.  
  
  
“And something to draw all your plans with.”  
  
  
Kayden popped open the box and a custom pen was inside, engraved with his name; Kayden Rosenberg-Maclay.  
  
  
“This is so cool,” he repeated through a shaken breath.  
  
  
Willow sat back smugly.  
  
  
“I have a pen guy.”  
  
  
Kayden twirled the pen in his hands and stood up to give them both a hug.  
  
  
“Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Momma. I love it.”  
  
  
Tara kissed Kayden’s cheek.  
  
  
“Happy Birthday.”  
  
  
Everyone else chimed in with similar greetings and Kayden grinned whilst being surrounded by his presents, which he tested out one by one.  
  
  
Willow and Tara left the kids fighting over who would make themselves sick on giant gummy bear first to go back to the kitchen.  
  
  
“He loved your pen, darling,” Tara smiled as she refilled their coffee, “That was such a thoughtful idea.”  
  
  
She kissed Willow’s cheek as she swung up onto the stool beside her.  
  
  
“Only because you had the genius idea to get him that kit,” Willow smiled back, “Inspired. I didn’t even know things like that existed. Architect -in-a-box.”  
  
  
“I hope he enjoys it,” Tara smiled softly, “Can you believe it’s been a year since he first walked through those doors?”  
  
  
“Seems like no time at all,” Willow shook her head, “And I also can’t imagine life where we didn’t have all five of them.”  
  
  
“Finally, truly complete,” Tara agreed, “And he deserves to be spoiled today.”  
  
  
“The grandparents will be over later,” Willow raised an eyebrow, “Apparently my Dad and Rose have a little rivalry going over who can get him the best present. If that’s not spoiled, I don’t know what is!”  
  
  
Sure enough, Ira arrived a couple of hours later with a pep in his step. Unable to contain himself, he clapped his hands in front of him and brought Kayden outside with him before even saying hello.  
  
  
He threw his hands up at the side of the house and took an eager step back.  
  
  
“Happy Birthday!”  
  
  
Kayden opened his half-closed eyes and saw a new bike sitting up against the wall. It was a nice bike; bright green, electric, with hooks for his backpack.  
  
  
“Whoa,” he said, rushing up to feel the sleek bars.  
  
  
“Do you like it?” Ira asked, sweet and eager and once again full-bearded.  
  
  
Kayden closed his palm around one handlebar and threw his leg over the seat. He slid one foot onto the pedal, then the other, and rose up on the seat to push up and ride around the front yard.  
  
  
“Pops, I love it!”  
  
  
Ira laughed heartily as Kayden did a loop around him as if he was five years old and learning for the first time.  
  
  
From the doorway, Willow smiled at how besotted Ira was with his new grandson and how the feeling was clearly mutual. Kayden brought his bike back to the wall, then threw his arms around Ira.  
  
  
“Thanks, Pops,” he said, putting his head in Ira’s neck before moving over to Michelle, who’d been standing beside Ira looking doting the whole time, “Thanks, Grandma.”  
  
  
“Oh you’re quite welcome,” she said, holding her own face under the weight of her smile, “Show us again.”  
  
  
Kayden beamed and got back up on his bike to show off.  
  
  
Tara laid out some blankets with treats and lemonade for everyone to help themselves to and they had a bit of an impromptu garden party.  
  
  
A little while later, Rose pulled up in her Tesla and parked on the street.  
  
  
“Hi everyone,” she smiled as she got out of the car.  
  
  
The girls all rushed up to say hello and Rose bent down to hug them all. She pulled back on Robyn and smiled a quiet little smile.  
  
  
“Sometimes you look just like your grandma Lisa, do you know that?”  
  
  
She kissed Robyn’s forehead and stood up.  
  
  
“And there’s the birthday boy.”  
  
  
She walked over to hug Kayden and began to admire his new bike when she was pulled away to finish her hellos.  
  
  
When she finally got back to Kayden, she sat next to him on the lawn.  
  
  
“I’m giving you the same gift I gave JJ on his 15th birthday and what I will give all of the girls on their 15th birthday,” she said, leaning in conspiringly, “A year’s notice.”  
  
  
When Kayden just looked confused, Rose smiled and bumped his shoulder.  
  
  
“If you save enough to put 50% toward a car — and I believe your parents have a generous matching scheme with your allowance — I will make up the other 50%,” she explained with an affectionate tousle of Kayden’s hair, “As long as you buy from one of my old dealerships. I get a great deal there. Are you in?”  
  
  
Kayden’s jaw hung open, then he threw himself at Rose, an action that would have been unheard of for him even months before.  
  
  
“You’re the best, Nana Rose.”  
  
  
Rose smiled; that had been JJ’s reaction verbatim.  
  
  
“You’re more like your brother than you think.”  
  
  
She winked and pulled something out of her pocket.  
  
  
“Plus I got you one of these,” she gave him a button with the pride colors, “Robyn fleeced me but I expect nothing less.”  
  
  
“She made me one too,” Kayden said, holding open his shirt to show one that said ‘two moms and I still have to put up with dad jokes’.  
  
  
Rose chuckled.  
  
  
“She’s become quite the little button maker.”  
  
  
“She wants to intern for a political candidate when she’s old enough and she thinks this is good practice,” Kayden replied with a nod of his head.  
  
  
Rose shook her head from side to side.  
  
  
“That girl is going to go far,” she said and frowned, “Sometimes I worry how far.”  
  
  
Ira came over and stood over them, tall.  
  
  
“Are you over here pipping my present to the punch again, Rose?”  
  
  
Kayden was quick to scramble up.  
  
  
“No way, Pops,” he shook his head emphatically, “I’m going to need my bike to save on all that bus fare for my new car.”  
  
  
Rose’s eyes twinkled from the grass.  
  
  
“Don’t worry Ira, I’ll make sure the car I get him has a bike rack.”  
  
  
Playful bickering went back and forth but Kayden was lost to it because from down the street, Dylan came into view on his skateboard.  
  
  
“Nice board,” Robyn complimented as he stopped outside the house, “Hey, you want a button? Two bucks.”  
  
  
As she shoved her wares under his nose, she noticed he was smiling at someone behind her. She took one look over her shoulder and upon seeing the look on Kayden’s face, smirked.  
  
  
“Oh you’re _Dylan_ ,” she said with an exaggerated nod, “This one’s on the house.”  
  
  
She slapped a button with a unicorn on it onto his shirt and watched as Kayden seemingly floated over.   
  
  
Kayden raised his hand.  
  
  
“Hey.”  
  
  
Dylan raised his hand back.  
  
  
“Hey.”  
  
  
Every other person on the lawn shared a knowing look.  
  
  
After sundown, as Willow went around the yard to collect the trash that the various guests in and out all day had left behind, she noticed Kayden reaching down to help her.  
  
  
“Hey nugget, it’s your birthday. No helping,” Willow insisted gently.  
  
  
Kayden just shrugged and picked up another empty.  
  
  
Willow smiled. She put an arm around his shoulders.  
  
  
“Good birthday, kiddo?”  
  
  
“Best birthday,” Kayden replied emphatically and it made Willow’s heart full.  
  
  
She winked at him.  
  
  
“You only think that.”  
  
  
Kayden did a double-take.  
  
  
“Huh?”  
  
  
“Tara and I have been a family for over 20 years and with kids for almost as long. In all of that time, I’ve learned one inalienable truth,” she replied and held a hand up wistfully, “Best birthdays, best days…they just keep getting better. Especially now we’re all together like we should have been from the start.”  
  
  
Kayden smiled as he took in what Willow was saying.  
  
  
“Okay then,” he replied slowly, “Today is the best birthday…”  
  
  
He full-blown grinned.  
  
  
“So far.”


	21. Chapter 21

“Over here!”  
  
  
Willow waved the family over to the row of seats she’d wrestled from the mom of the captain of the lacrosse team. Tara arrived with the girls and had them take the three seats on the end while she sat in beside Willow on the lawn of the high school.  
  
  
She settled her purse by her feet and glanced at Willow unsurely.  
  
  
“Why is Marie McDonnell giving us stink eye?”  
  
  
“Why should she get the front seat?” Willow asked indignantly, “ _Her_ son isn’t valedictorian.”  
  
  
Tara mouthed ‘sorry’ at the other woman, who flounced into her seat two rows behind with a roll of her eyes.  
  
  
“You can’t dine out on that forever, you know.”  
  
  
“I can dine out on it today,” Willow returned with a grin, “My son is valedictorian.”  
  
  
“Our son,” Tara corrected.  
  
  
“You’re quite welcome to kick someone out of their seats too,” Willow offered graciously.  
  
  
“Can I kick someone out of their seats?” someone asked from behind and all five ladies turned and jumped out of their seats at the same time.  
  
  
“JJ!” Lily and Emily screeched in unison and flung themselves at JJ’s legs.  
  
  
“JJ,” Tara breathed and walked into JJ’s chest to embrace him, with Willow close behind her.  
  
  
When they parted, Robyn leaned into JJ with a nod which made her hair fall into her eyes. There was a hint of affection mixed in with the teenage surliness of her smile.  
  
  
“Hey.”  
  
  
“Hey, lil’ bean,” JJ teased and Robyn rolled her eyes.  
  
  
“What are you doing here?” Tara asked, rubbing JJ’s arm, “I thought you didn’t finish classes until next week.”  
  
  
“I don’t,” JJ shrugged, “But I wasn’t going to miss my only brother’s graduation.”  
  
  
“What about your exams?” Willow asked with an arched eyebrow.  
  
  
“None until Tuesday,” JJ nodded easily, “But I’ve finally settled on a major.”  
  
  
“You have?!” Willow asked, rising to her toes with excitement.  
  
  
JJ nodded and made them wait for it until Robyn punched his arm. Neither mother corrected her.  
  
  
“Ow, jeez,” he rubbed his arm dramatically, “Okay, I’m majoring in…”  
  
  
He slapped his hands against his thighs in a drum-roll.  
  
  
“Journalism!”  
  
  
Both Willow and Tara exchanged confused looks.  
  
  
“That’s…” Willow started.  
  
  
“Very interesting,” Tara finished.  
  
  
“Sports journalism to be specific,” JJ continued and Willow and Tara exchanged knowing looks.  
  
  
“Oh, of course!”  
  
  
“JJ, that’s a fantastic career for you to pursue,” Tara said and closed her arms around JJ’s body again, “And where better than Manhattan for you to study. You have so many opportunities on your doorstep. Oh, I’m so proud of you.”  
  
  
She cupped his face and kissed his cheek.  
  
  
“Where’s Cleo?”  
  
  
“Right here, Mrs. R-M,” Cleo appeared beside JJ and tossed him the car keys before nodding at Willow, “Other Mrs. R-M. Little ladies.”  
  
  
She high-fived all of the girls and smiled at Tara.  
  
  
“My Mami says she wants your breadstick recipe and that she’s prepared to hire me the best lawyer if I kill you to get it. She said it’s the best she’s had since being in high school.”  
  
  
“Tell her she can have it without a scratch,” Tara smiled with a little glint in her eye, “I’ll even give you some to bring back to her.”  
  
  
Cleo mouthed ‘I love you’ and made a heart with her hands which she mimicked beating by holding it to and from her chest. Tara winked at her and put an arm around her shoulders.  
  
  
“Come tell me all about school. Do you and JJ share any classes at NYU? I’m guessing there’s not much overlap with biology and sports journalism.”  
  
  
“Oh, he told you?” Cleo asked with a big, adoring grin, “He’s going to be fantastic. He’s already known in our group of friends for the commentary he gives during games.”  
  
  
She paused.  
  
  
“…some like it more than others,” she smiled again, “But he’s so passionate. It’s so cute.”  
  
  
Tara hugged Cleo sidelong.  
  
  
“We miss you two. Please tell me you’re coming up here to hang out with us a bit this summer.”  
  
  
Cleo nodded.  
  
  
“Definitely. We’re going to Toronto Pride with Kayden and Alex if he comes home from Albany on time. We’ll be here for a couple of weeks after that if that’s okay.”  
  
  
“Anyone who makes my boy as happy as you do is welcome for as long as they want,” Tara replied with a kind, knowing smile.  
  
  
Suddenly Willow was rushing into her seat beside Tara and Tara realized the ceremony was starting. Tara glanced over to check that the girls were being quiet and though Lily was barely able to sit still, she _was_ staying in her seat and Tara was proud of her for it, especially with the unexpected excitement of JJ showing up.  
  
  
Tara couldn’t help but smile over at her boy, a man now and reached across Willow’s back to squeeze his shoulder. He looked over and flashed her a winning smile. Tara smiled back, then dedicated her smile toward the stage where the principal was making his speech. It was short and sweet and then he was saying the words, ‘please welcome our valedictorian Kayden Rosenberg-Maclay’.  
  
  
As the whole crowd stood to clap, Willow and Tara shared the proudest of smiles.  
  
  
Kayden took the podium and smiled out confidently.  
  
  
“We made it through the wilderness,” he sang confidently in a soft, lyrical voice, “Somehow we made it through.”  
  
  
He paused and gave a cocky little grin.  
  
  
“My brother’s a big Madonna fan.”  
  
  
A laugh broke out in the crowd and Kayden caught JJ’s face, who looked surprised, amused, and honored all in one grin. Kayden nodded once with the smile still affixed on his face and faced the crowd again.  
  
  
“Madame Superintendent, Principal Walker, teachers, faculty, parents, classmates, and friends.”  
  
  
He took a deep breath.  
  
  
“I thought a lot about what I was going to talk about today. Gratitude or accomplishment. Stories of change or who inspired me. How we move forward from this, here, now. The truth is, I want to speak of all of those things. And I can do that, I can speak of who we are by telling you who I am.”  
  
  
He clutched the podium and tried to look at everyone at once; to make everyone feel seen.  
  
  
“If you had asked me when I started at this school if I would be standing up here four years later speaking to you all, well…I wouldn’t have even been able to imagine it. Back then, I was very tied to this school. So tied that I was living in the locker rooms. And I don’t mean it as a metaphor for being a sports nut. I was sleeping on the mats with a pool noodle for a pillow.”  
  
  
Some people laughed unsurely and Tara took Willow’s hand tightly. Willow looked over sympathetically and kissed Tara’s cheek.  
  
  
The tassel on Kayden’s waved in the wind.  
  
  
“That’s a lot of change for me to fill you in on, right? And it is. But I can sum it up in two words: my family.”  
  
  
He looked over to them and smiled easily.  
  
  
“And I can tell you the lesson I have learned from growing into this person standing in front of you from the person who hid so much he couldn’t even see himself,” he paused and looked around importantly, “I am strong when I am on your shoulders.”  
  
  
He shrugged in that adorably bashful way again, so far from his insecure shrugging of old.  
  
  
“My mom’s a big Josh Groban fan,” he waved a hand and everyone laughed again, breaking the tension, “Before I reveal my entire family’s music preferences, I’d like to stop and thank them. And not just for giving me some killer lyrics to pepper this speech with.”  
  
  
More laughter.  
  
  
Kayden stopped and found them all in the crowd again, individually this time.  
  
  
“But for being the first thing in this world that I knew was truly mine. My big brother. My little sisters. My moms,” he said and his voice grew choked for a moment, “The best dog in the whole world.”  
  
  
He looked up and held his palm against his heart.  
  
  
“Rest in peace, Woofy. I know you’re up there doing tricks for all of the good boys that have left this world.”  
  
  
Cleo’s arm went around JJ, whose arm went around Robyn, who held Lily’s hand, who held Emily’s. Willow and Tara’s hands squeezed together again.  
  
  
Kayden looked back into the crowd with a piercing stare and was quick to bring them all back into the moment.  
  
  
“I haven’t finished telling you about my family. I have grandparents and I have aunts and uncles and cousins and those of you that don’t know me are probably wondering why I’m listing a bunch of normal familial relationships as if they were something special.”  
  
  
He paused.  
  
  
“Because they are,” he said softly, “I had to go through years of not having any of them to realize it. And some of you sitting here might be feeling the same thing, in different ways. Like the people around you aren’t your family. Your kin, maybe, but not your family. Or that you’ve found your family in the friendships you’ve formed or the groups you’ve joined and you don’t want to leave them. But I can promise you, your family won’t leave. And if you don’t have one yet, will find you one day. Family will always find you,” he said emphatically, “And that is the most important thing I have learned in my four years of high school. No offense, Mr. Pepperton. I’m sure I’ll use my knowledge of the Winnebago War of 1827 someday.”  
  
  
There was a chuckle and good-natured nudging of Mr. Pepperton. Kayden’s hands settled on the podium.  
  
  
“Education is important but it’s the backdrop to what we really learn here. I found family in a lot of ways at this school. In the brother who found me and took me home. In the math club that let me join even though all I wanted to figure out was the angles of buildings. In the computer club who helped me learn CAD. In the Habitat for Humanity team that visited and allowed me to tag along and build my first house. And in not just the amazing friends I have grown to love here and the amazing relationships I’ve been able to form but for each and every one of you sitting in front of me. Even if we’ve never spoken before. We _are_ a family and over the years we may fall out and fall back in but we will forever share this experience. Wherever you go forward from here, know that you go in step with the rest of this family behind you.”  
  
  
He nodded happily.  
  
  
“So that’s it. We did it. School’s out.”  
  
  
He grinned.  
  
  
“Forever,” he finished with perfect melodic cadence and threw a wink to the crowd, “That one was all me.”  
  
  
A cheer emerged from the crowd and everyone stood up to clap, clearly demonstrating how beloved Kayden was.  
  
  
He stepped back and shook the principal’s hand and became the first in his class to accept his diploma.  
  
  
He walked across the stage while his family clapped and cheered and moved his tassel with a full-blown grin out to them. He waited for the rest of his class to join him, shaking their hand or hugging every single person who took their iconic walk across the stage.  
  
  
When it was all over, there was a bit of an anticlimax amongst the crowd but Kayden was still beaming as he approached his family. Willow grabbed him first and threw herself around him.  
  
  
“You don’t know how hard it is not to kiss all over your face right now.”  
  
  
“We are so proud of you,” Tara joined in on the hug.  
  
  
“Thanks, Momma. Thanks, Mom,” Kayden said bashfully with a slight pinkness in his cheeks.  
  
  
Once they let him go, JJ threw his arm out to shake Kayden’s hand.  
  
  
“Bro!” he said, pulling Kayden into a hug and patting his back.  
  
  
“Bro!” Kayden returned enthusiastically and quickly hugged Cleo, “It’s so good to see you.”  
  
  
“You were so cool up there Kayden!” Lily said as she hugged Kayden’s waist.  
  
  
“You’re the coolest,” Emily agreed, stuck to Kayden’s other side.  
  
  
Robyn shrugged one shoulder.  
  
  
“You’re pretty alright,” she said deadpan but there was a little bit of a smirk.  
  
  
Once everyone got their hugs in, Kayden spotted someone loitering and extracted himself for a moment. He slowly approached the other person and raised his hand in a small wave.  
  
  
Dylan made such the same motion.  
  
  
“Hey Kayden,” he greeted, his voice a little gruff, “You did great.”  
  
  
“Thanks, Dylan,” Kayden smiled softly and there was a bit of a lull as each thought what to say that hadn’t already been said, “Will you keep in touch from Berkeley?”  
  
  
“Of course,” Dylan replied as if he couldn’t imagine anything else, “You’ll hit me up if you’re ever out visiting your family’s book store or something?”  
  
  
“Of course,” Kayden replied quickly, “And if you’re in the Boston area…checking out the Socks or something…”  
  
  
“If the Red Socks play for the World Series, I’ll definitely come to visit you at MIT,” Dylan smiled easily.  
  
  
Kayden offered his hand and they pulled each other into a hug. After lingering for several seconds, they parted and walked away from each other.  
  
  
“You okay?” Willow asked quietly as Kayden returned while Tara was off playing the proud Mama and accepting all of the praise for raising such a smart young boy.  
  
  
“Uh-huh,” Kayden nodded.  
  
  
Willow looked sympathetic.  
  
  
“You don’t have to be brave.”  
  
  
Kayden shrugged, holding his hands up.  
  
  
“We’re going to colleges a whole continent away from each other. We had no choice but to break up,” he said with melancholy acceptance, “Maybe we’ll find our way back to each other someday.”  
  
  
Willow bumped Kayden’s shoulder.  
  
  
“If it’s meant to be, I have no doubt you will.”  
  
  
“Me either,” Kayden nodded evenly, “But even if it doesn’t…he was the best first boyfriend I could have asked for. And that’s super cool.”  
  
  
Willow looked at Kayden proudly for being so wise.  
  
  
“Come on, then,” she encouraged, reaching up to put her hands on his shoulders, “All those grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins are waiting to celebrate you.”  
  
  
She took a step forward and Kayden fell in step with her.  
  
  
“Momma?”  
  
  
“Yes, honey?” Willow asked sweetly.  
  
  
Kayden hugged her sidelong.  
  
  
“I love you.”  
  
  
Willow stood up on her toes to kiss his cheek.  
  
  
“I love you too, nugget.”  
  
  
“Even when I leave?” Kayden questioned unsurely.  
  
  
Willow smiled and reached up to rub Kayden’s back.  
  
  
“There’s nowhere on this earth or above that you could go that would make us stop loving you,” she replied emphatically, “College was the best thing that ever happened to me. And MIT is going to be amazing for you. You’ll love Boston.”  
  
  
“I will?” Kayden asked, a mix of nerves and excitement.  
  
  
Willow nodded sagely.  
  
  
“Trust me.”  
  
  
She watched as Tara laughed while shaking the vice-principal's hand and felt her whole soul wake up.  
  
  
“I met the love of my life there.”  
  


* * *

  
Kayden stood at the edge of the athletic field looking up at the dormitory building that was about to become his home.  
  
  
It was like a city apartment block, unusually shaped with dips making it look like a giant Tetris piece. The walls were permeable so that your eyes were drawn right in and it glittered in the sun.  
  
  
“That,” Kayden breathed in awe, “I want to design something like _that_ someday.”  
  
  
“We have no doubt you will,” Tara replied as she came up beside Kayden with a box in her hands, “But you have to move in first.”  
  
  
“Yeah, lazy bones, we’re not doing all of the lugging here,” Willow grinned.  
  
  
Kayden clasped his hand around his suitcase and pulled it along the sidewalk as they walked over to the entrance on the other side of the building.  
  
  
Inside was just as electric with students milling about everywhere, engaging in happy conversation; people flitting between recreational areas like the dining hall or on-site café. A huge bulletin board was filled with colorful flyers advertising any manner of social events and clubs to join. There was a plaque on the wall guiding them to the different areas of the building and Kayden led them upstairs to his dorm.  
  
  
Inside were two loft beds with desks underneath and a chair with light shining in through the checkered windows. A small couch was pushed against the front wall and there was a door into a bathroom that was shared with another dorm.  
  
  
“Hey, this is way swankier than JJ’s dorm at NYU,” Willow commented as she looked around, “You get your own bathroom!”  
  
  
“I think it’s shared,” Kayden said as he looked between the two different bed options.  
  
  
“If it’s not shared with a hundred other people it’s a step up from when I was in college,” Willow quipped.  
  
  
“I’ll make your bed up for you,” Tara offered and found the box with the sheets.  
  
  
“Thanks, Mom,” Kayden replied gratefully and moved around to the end of the bed to help her.  
  
  
Willow took another trip to bring up Kayden’s belongings and right behind her as she entered the dorm, another young boy with dark black hair and 5 o’clock shadow walked in behind her.  
  
  
“Oh, hey,” he greeted a bit awkwardly, “Um, I’m Declan. I’m guessing you’re Kayden?”  
  
  
Kayden took a step down from the bed ladder and slowly stared at his new roommate, his eyes shining.  
  
  
Willow had to nudge him.  
  
  
“Yes!” Kayden squeaked and blushed, “Yes, I’m Kayden. You’re Declan, which, you, ah, already said.”  
  
  
Kayden wiped his palms on his jeans and thrust it forward to shake. Willow and Tara shared knowing looks.  
  
  
“Cool,” Declan nodded pleasantly and looked to Willow and Tara, “Um, hi.”  
  
  
“These are my moms,” Kayden explained, his hands flailing about awkwardly in front of him before he stuffed them in his pockets.  
  
  
“Cool,” Declan repeated, “My parents are on their way. I just came to figure out the way up before we had heavy things in our hands. I’m running back down now to help them.”  
  
  
“I’ll help,” Kayden offered quickly.  
  
  
“Oh,” Declan paused, “You’re not busy with you’re own stuff?”  
  
  
Kayden shook his head and Declan shrugged.  
  
  
“Great. Cool. Thanks.”  
  
  
They went off together and Willow arched an eyebrow.  
  
  
“He’s not even finishing carting his own stuff up yet,” she sighed, shaking her head, “Dylan, Declan. I guess he wants the D.”  
  
  
“Willow!” Tara exclaimed, mouth dropping.  
  
  
“What?” Willow asked, then continued, indignant as Tara continued to stare, “What?!”  
  
  
Tara’s eyebrows slowly dropped back down her face.  
  
  
“You really don’t know what you just said, do you?”  
  
  
“Clearly not,” Willow huffed to save face.  
  
  
Tara shook her head.  
  
  
“I would recommend never saying it again.”  
  
  
“Duly noted,” Willow replied with a drop of her chin.  
  
  
It took just one more lap to move Kayden in, even without Kayden’s help, and they met Declan’s parents and made pleasantries until it was time to leave and allow Kayden to settle into his new home.  
  
  
Tara smoothed out Kayden’s collar and Willow fixed his hair and Kayden allowed it because he was feeling the same tug on the heartstrings but had to at least put on some kind of front of bravado.  
  
  
“We love you so much.”  
  
  
“I love you guys too,” Kayden replied, thankful they were outside the door.  
  
  
They each hugged him, lingering.  
  
  
“We’re a phone call away, any time,” Tara promised.  
  
  
“ _Any_ time,” Willow added, “And the girls will want to video chat so you can show them your new room.”  
  
  
“I know,” Kayden replied softly, “I’ve been texting Robyn. Don’t worry. I’ll be okay.”  
  
  
He smiled for them and they knew he would be okay.  
  
  
After some more last-second hugs they forced themselves to leave with tears in their eyes and many waves back until the turn of the building forbid it. Outside the building, they stopped to dab their eyes but with so many people coming and going, they found it best to make their way back toward the parking lot.  
  
  
“I guess we should drive to the hotel,” Tara said, slipping her hand into Willow’s.  
  
  
Willow squeezed their palms together.  
  
  
“Get the T for old time’s sake?” she suggested softly, “We can pick the car up later.”  
  
  
Tara brushed their shoulders together.  
  
  
“That sounds like a really nice idea.”  
  
  
As they walked out of the parking lot, Willow suddenly looked at Tara, stricken.  
  
  
“Oh no.”  
  
  
“What?” Tara asked with concern.  
  
  
Willow’s face contorted with disgust.  
  
  
“I just realized what I said earlier about the ‘D’.”  
  
  
Tara could only chuckle.  
  
  
“Twenty-five years and your naivety still charms me,” she said, smiling affectionately, “But I don’t know how you’ve raised two boys through high school without hearing that one.”  
  
  
“Willful ignorance?” Willow guessed.  
  
  
Tara smiled.  
  
  
“Must be.”  
  
  
The T was bustling with kids and parents all navigating their way to the various colleges in the city. Despite the prestige and renown of places like MIT or Harvard, Willow had never regretted choosing the college she did. It was like she told Kayden, she met the love of her life there.  
  
  
She smiled at Tara as they bumped into each other on the train and remembered so many dates they’d traveled to this way, so many experiences they’d shared. This little patch of land where she’d come to flee her parents’ grasp and the school she’d chosen just to spite them a little bit had been the best decision of her life.  
  
  
They never actually discussed where they were going but they both naturally moved to get off the train when they arrived at the station closest to the Public Gardens.  
  
  
It smelled so sweet and summary as they got the first waft of flowers and walked their well-trodden path down to the lake.  
  
  
“God, I forgot how beautiful it is here,” Willow smiled as her eyes treated her mind to a flurry of memories.  
  
  
“I haven’t,” Tara replied softly, “Every time the sun catches your hair…I remember. Every time you pick one of my flowers and smell it under your nose…I remember. I fell in love with so much of you here. It’s buried in there forever. Part of my soul.”  
  
  
Willow slowly smiled. She stopped as they got to the lake and watched the famous Swan Boats taking one of the last rides of the day. She offered her hand.  
  
  
“Shall we take a ride into the sunset?”  
  
  
Tara took the offering and hand-in-hand with endless smiles, they did just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we end this journey but fear not - I will be back next week for another continuation of this family's story. Keep an eye out for Family Confidential - The Final Quarter: A New Beginning coming to your screens soon! Thank you ALL so much for still being with me with these characters - it is a joy and a pleasure and an honor to know you all :)
> 
> Thanks so much to **danverspotsticker, Vazy, Dawn250180, hmi812, AlikAlec, Tara** and **kByrdz** for leaving feedback - it is SO, so appreciated!!


End file.
